stevenrosendale Reviews

Beatriz at Dinner (2017)

I am not a maid! I am an unqualified masseuse!

[1/10 · 6 May 2023]

The hypocrisy is rife in this film. I will just list the most offending moments I can remember.

Salma decides to play down her appearance by not wearing make up. She wants to appear like a down to earth homely spiritual healer...but keeps the hair dye as that would of course be a bridge too far! Homely but not old thank you very much.

If you don't like goats being injected into your neighborhood then as the kids say these days ''this is a ''YOU'' problem''.

And...how dare you not be able to pronounce the name of a remote village in Mexico! This should roll off your tongue like any of the multiple languages you speak.

Beatriz is form a small magical place full of people who have a spiritual connection to the earth and some magical powers. The evil Americans come in and destroy it so naturally you run away ...to America Then she feels out of place. It turns out it has a different culture and language. But how is this possible?

Does she have any homicidal thoughts towards the police and authorities in her home town that allowed her to be thrown out? Or are they only saved for the American?

Beatriz appears at the dinner party sans make up and attire...but expects to be welcomed and treated as an invited guest. The other guests who are dressed up and all know each other are supposed to not notice the elephant in the room as being different in any way shape or form?

Beatriz rudely interrupts the waiter to inject her life story. She is horrified to being treated as help, but treats the actual help like...actual help. She is the moral judge and executioner but has no problem with interruptions. Unless of course you are interrupting her. She feels that the murder of an animal is quote ''sick'' but the murder of a human is somewhat profound and necessary? And being the healer/moral superior, executioner, judge and jury she really must do it herself. She drinks, she smokes...which is of course natural and healthy because smoke comes from a plant...( but animals in the wild run away from smoke right? ) anyway on and on it goes...1 star.

A Most Violent Year (2014)

A Most Boring Year.

[1/10 · 12 September 2022]

At the urging of a film producer friend of mine I gave this film a second chance. The first time I saw it I had switched it off towards the end finding no real purpose to the film. On second viewing I found I liked it even less than the first, though I stuck through with it until the end. In a nut shell it's the scene in The Godfather III where Pacino says ''just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!'' only stretched out over two hours.

Rather than review the film I just want to list some inconsistencies in the main character 'Abel' which I think is one of things that really put me off.

Abel spends the entire film trying to show us how moral, strong, tough and resilient he is. Yet he is thwarted again and again, almost cuckolded in a way by all those around him, and his only reaction is to give yet another thousand mile stare. It makes no sense for him to maintain this extremely vigilant moral code throughout the film. He is made a fool of on several occasions yet struts away like 'huh...I really showed them!'.

With all his grandstanding about transparency and going legit when the FEDs arrive to search his house he throws boxes over a railing to hide paper work. Felony much?

In the beginning he spends a great deal of time maintaining that he is NOT a gangster. Yet it is soon revealed that he indeed was a gangster and may or may not still be breaking the law. His lawyer Albert Brooks ( in a ridiculous wig ) is also an ex gangster. His wife is the daughter of a gangster.

His wife recommends getting money from her father but Abel says a flat ''no'' as we presume that it's dirty money, possibly mob money. Yet later he goes straight to a different mob boss for a suicidal loan of $600k!? Makes no sense at all.

It makes no sense for Abel to continue this grandiose posture. When his wife reveals she has actually stashed a $million or two away by stealing from the company ( after a minimal protestation... and yet another really meaningful stare ) he just takes the money.

Towards the end of the film he looks the D. A. right in the eye and says ''I Am Not A Felon' and yet you can go back three minutes and find him blackmailing a rival oil supplier rather than turning him into the police. In the same sentence the DA then suggests they ''collude'' on future business and Abel says ''yep sure! ''. Without even blinking!

For this film to have some of the depth of reality it strives for there needed to be a scene where his wife and maybe a few employees are sitting around a table laughing at him.

The Meyerowitz Stories (2017)

Narcs abound

[5/10 · 15 October 2017]

This one is a tough call so. It felt like Dustin Hoffman's character was just Baumbach's 'Greenberg' in old age. Or maybe not. The characters are so repulsive it's hard to watch and the film leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. The story is largely about the effect an uber-narc in decline has on all those around him. As the narc Hoffman begins to fade and grow ill we see the children left spinning in the wind after spending the better part of their lives in service to his fantasy. They face the bitter truth that the father was not a great artist but a mediocre failure after all. Something that they had perhaps known all along but were too scared to confront him with, or perhaps his fantasy and strength of personality had such a hold they dared not pop the bubble. But then they are all are in danger of repeating the process again when the grand daughter presents her terribly bad video art and they unanimously praise it. Begging the question; should you poor water on the flames of someone's passion who lacks talent, or give them just enough rope to hang themselves?

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)

Terrible

[1/10 · 28 July 2017]

Wow what a terrible film! The CGI looked like something from play station 2. The story line was all over the place. It's a kind of ''Snatch'' set in Medieval England. I found myself wishing that Eric Bana played Arthur but instead he was in it for only 5 minutes. There was no sign of Sir Gallahad or Merlin but it turns out this was because it is being set up for a sequel. Which if you were a fan of Guy Ritchies other film ''Rock'n'Rolla'' you know that this is never going to happen. He likes to set up a film up for a sequel but will only make it if the first film does well at the box office, and since Arthur was a bomb then this is unlikely. But why not do what most good directors do and make a great stand alone film and if it works then think about the sequel later? Then you don't look foolish if it doesn't come off.

The Great Wall (I) (2016)

Garbage

[1/10 · 12 May 2017]

I cant see how this film could be any worse. Why is Willem Dafoe in this film? Was he that hard up for cash? Can Matt Damon possibly be running out of money? Are decent films offers really that hard to come by or was the money just too ridiculous to turn down? The only people who would enjoy this film would be 10 year old children but even they are savvy enough these days to notice bad acting and plot fails. The CGI is so bad it looks cartoonish, it takes you right out of the picture. The film steals a lot of ideas from the battle/siege scenes in 'The Lord Of The Rings' trilogy but that was nearly 15 years ago and the CGI if anything is worse. Has there been no new innovation or technology since then? Matt Damon's accent slips in and out of some form of Scottish and American, he sleep walks through the film and picks up his cheque and moves on to the next one. This film is pointless and a waste of your time and money. Go and get the Lord of The Rings on Blu-ray and just watch that again.

Gold (I) (2016)

Balding anti hero with red head love interest?

[2/10 · 28 April 2017]

It seems we have a formula in the making. Balding anti hero, red head love interest and short cut to riches story set in the 1980's. 'American Hustle' must have been such a breakout hit that it green lighted all similar scripts. McConaughey's character in this film is a cross between Tom Cruises 'Les Goldman' from Tropic Thunder and Christian Bale's 'Irving Rosenfeld' from American Hustle. There may even be a poor man's Jerry Macguire thrown in for good measure. It is all too familiar. Strangely Tom Cruise is set to also release a film soon with a rags to riches story line set in the 1980's called....wait for it ''American Made''. McConaughey's love interest also happens to have red hair and is a poor version of Amy Adams. Come to think of it this brings to mind Jessica Chastain ( a red head ) in ''A Most Violent Year'' set in 1981! How many of these Scarface-esque characters and story lines can be sustained? The movie is just not interesting enough to hold your attention for very long and doesn't have the same kind of excitement or humour that American Hustle has so I give it a 2. This is the wrong vehicle for McConaughey's second Oscar attempt though he seems to throw everything at it I think it is a bridge too far.

Joy (I) (2015)

Bad film

[1/10 · 22 April 2016]

I had to give this a one out of ten. Only because you can not give it zero. So I do apologize for not giving an accurate score. This was not a David O'Russell film, it has his usual cast but he is no where to be found. The story draws out its quite obvious and inevitable finally for 2 long hours. You know at some point she will become a billionaire...and you wait and wait and wait and they draw it out and then...shazam!... she is a billionaire. There were a couple of moments that reminded me of the dysfunctional family set up you might find in a Wes Anderson film...but then that drops away very quickly...and there is no other time that it comes close to art or great cinema in the way that ''American Hustle'' or ''I Heart Huckabees'' did.I don't know where he was going with this one.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Bad

[1/10 · 8 April 2016]

This film was ridiculous, it made no sense whatsoever. Batman wants to kill superman for no apparent reason. Then changes his mind on a whim. An extraordinary amount of time was spent on setting up sequels and spin off's they obviously have planned. It takes you right out of the story when they do this so blatantly. They may as well have a scene where Batman sips a Coke, holds it up to the camera and exclaims "Ahhh so refreshing!" Wonder Woman appears for no other reason than to set up a sequel. Aquaman? Cyborg? Sequels coming soon...Batman turns to WW and says "there are more like us...we must find them... ( and make a film about it ) Lex Luther says several times 'this is only the beginning! ' They kept promising more and more to come and introduced characters and side stories and yet were barley half way through this film. The films storyline was scattered and jumped from scene to scene barely holding a thread together...we jump from the desert, to the city, to space, to a factory, to an office, to a court house, then into a dream and a mountain in Colarado... with no real connection or relevance to each jump, making it almost impossible to follow. I lost count of the amount of times I rolled my eyes at the childish drama and I turned to look at my girlfriend next to me who had almost rolled her eyes into the back of her head. Its a film safe for children ages 10 - 14 to watch but no one else could possibly enjoy it.

Shampoo (1975)

They don't make em like they used to.

[10/10 · 23 February 2016]

This is a brilliant and underrated film. It's hard to imagine something like this being made today, filled with riotous laughs although concluding with a reflective and bleak ending. Warren Beatty ducks and weaves throughout the film, trying to juggle relationships with 3 or 4 different women but his hectic lifestyle eventually begins to unravel. It was written as a satire of 1960's sexual liberty and ultimately proves that free love is not 'free'. The film is set in 1968 on the day Richard Nixon was elected president and there is a clever use of Nixon's image in posters and TV screens behind Warren Beatty's character to symbolize someone whom everyone believes in and loves but turns out to be untrustworthy and unreliable. Although it was the 4th highest earner in the box office for the year 1975 it seems to have been largely forgotten since then.

The Intern (I) (2015)

Bad

[1/10 · 11 January 2016]

The question you have to ask is why does this film get a 7 / 10 on IMDb but a 5 / 10 everywhere else? This is the worst film i have ever seen. Instead of watching this film you could just as easily place a gun in your mouth and when you feel the cold steel hit the back of your throat...pull the trigger. If you find yourself on the floor and still lucid then take another shot near your temple and finish the job. It says that my review is not long enough so I will also add that I really hope Robert Deniro got paid a hell of a lot of money to demean himself in this way. At least films such as Meet the Fockers where he takes a side step from his serious acting was hilariously funny and had something to offer. This film on the other hand is aimed at an audience of 16 yr old buskers, coffee connoisseurs and activists. My girlfriend and i just switched off half way through...in her words " this film is soft dribble "

True Detective (2014– )

True Detective Season 2

[9/10 · 13 August 2015]

Season 2 began on shaky ground. It was hard to follow...hard to accept Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn in their roles because of their previous work ( and off-screen persona's ) ...It took a while to settle in and understand the story. By the 4th episode I was almost losing interest as were most people I talked to about it. There was disappointment, probably caused by the huge expectations created by Season 1. It would be interesting to know what it would be like to see Season 2 with no knowledge of season 1...I guess we'll never know...but it was hard to watch without constant comparisons and disappointment....BUT THEN... suddenly...somehow...roughly around episode 5 the whole thing turned around! I was hooked...and couldn't wait to find out what would happen next! I was finally somehow drawn into the characters and excited about the story again and was eager to follow. I guess to try and match the success of season one would be an impossibility since it is often refereed to as the best thing that has EVER happened to TV. I don't know why they didn't use the same director from season 1 who created the most memorable and universally praised episode( E4 )He was only a producer on this one I feel he should have directed the whole thing. Very much looking forward to Season 3..

The Face of an Angel (2014)

Faces of Angels

[5/10 · 23 July 2015]

This film tells the story of a film director who sleeps with one of the hottest women in the world while on a trip to Italy. After which he decides to get totally wasted on coke, marijuana and alcohol. Then he ditches one of the hottest women in the world for one of the other hottest women in the world who is half the age of the first one. Meanwhile he stumbles from party to party stoned and drunk, ignoring the other not so hot women characters that he encounters. He also has an annoying not so hot wife who pops up from time to time. He finally settles for the younger hot one but I imagine it not lasting too long. There is a side story about the murder of one super hot chick by another hot chick. Not all is lost though because Cara CAN act!

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

Bad

[1/10 · 9 June 2015]

This film was bad. I can understand if you are between 12 - 15 yrs old you might like it but I find it instantly forgettable. I don't understand how it can get a 7.9 rating on IMDb...unless the majority of people voting are in that age group. This doesn't come close to films like Blade Runner ( 8.2 ) or Easy Rider ( 7.4 ) which have featured in the top 100 films of all time for the last 30 years yet receive a similar score....I think there is something fundamentally wrong with the rating system. Kingsman will have disappeared without a trace within a couple of weeks and not even make the top 1000... ever...so I can only assume that the rating will decline over time as people grow wiser with age or more film enthusiasts start voting.

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Bad

[1/10 · 29 May 2015]

Unfortunately this film was bad. I too left around half way through after taking as much torture as I could stand and walked back in to catch the end. It may be that children between 5 - 9 yrs old would enjoy it but for anyone with half a brain it falls apart almost immediately. Firstly Channing Tatum's character's ''floating roller skates'' looked ridiculous. It made him seem idiotic and awkward. Very uncool... a 'hover - board' like in "Back to The Future" would have been better but it just looked strange to be roller skating through the sky. Secondly, Channing Tatum's Elf Ears? There didn't seem to be any need for these to distinguish him as an alien from another world...was it not enough that he could fly? You could have switched in Ja Ja Binks and I don't think anyone would have noticed. Eddie Redmayne spoke in annoying whispers that were an attempt to sound threatening and formidable but were unconvincing...and the special effects had none of the excitement and innovation of the directors earlier Matrix Trilogy films which unfortunately was the benchmark going into this. Mila Kunis?...well.... she coped.... Lose the ears, the voices, the unnecessary special effects and the overacting...and you might have something.