tracywinters-44332 Reviews

Titanic (1997)

Very grand, very entertaining, and very frightening

[9/10 · 29 November 2017]

I don't understand all the bad reviews here. I'm not given to getting syrupy over romance films, but this one actually was pretty good.

A telling of the true story of the sinking of the ship Titanic, but this movie is first and foremost a romance movie. Kate Winslet is beautiful, and though they could have cast a better male lead, Leo DiCaprio is not too bad.

The real star of this film is the sinking ship sequence. It is quite realistic and the cold weather and fright of that night back in 1912 is at least partly captured --- it must have been a terrible event for the poor souls on board that vessel. The moment that was most poignant to me was when Captain Smith went back to his bridge and realized the ocean was about to break through his giant windows.

Recommended for all who love a good romance film.

Marooned (1969)

A really sucking movie..... oh yes, and it also sucked

[1/10 · 21 November 2017]

An absolutely atrocious film about 3 totally stupid astronauts who get 'stranded' in earth orbit, low on oxygen and guts.

Greg Peck, David Janssen, Gene Hackman, Jim Franciscus, and all the rest of the idiots who participated in this ridiculous fiasco are terrible. The astronauts put on their red(?) plastic space helmets and give them half of a quarter turn and we're supposed to believe they're 'protected' from the rigors of space. Dumb dialogue and dumb everything else makes this movie a complete bore as it drags on for, like, forever! Looks like it was videotaped over a weekend by a high school drama department.

At least 'MST3k' made one of their best episodes riffing this garbage film. If you must watch, watch THAT version.

Behind Enemy Lines (2001)

2 stars for GENE HACKMAN, a great American actor

[2/10 · 1 November 2017]

Gene Hackman is one of America's finest actors. As for the rest of the mundane cast in this predictable fish-stink, 99% of it reeks.

Owen Wilson (with his jacked-up nose and bad speech impediment) is featured as a navy flier who 'doesn't like to follow rules'.... gee, where have we heard that before? There's a Tom Cruise look-a-like on the ship and just like Cruise, this guy can't act either.

Some of the idiotic shenanigans in the film include navy deck personnel playing football using the aircraft catapults, Wilson yelling out in enemy territory to his injured buddy, then leaving him sitting in an open field (instead of helping him to the cover of the nearby forest), navy enlisted fools holding push-up contests in the isles of the dining hall floor, and a moronic rescue underling punching a hole in the war room map.

Hollywood half-wit film-makers' zillionth opportunity to take liberties in portraying the American military as a group of dumbbells.

Roman J. Israel, Esq. (2017)

More pretentious posing from an actor who chooses lousy roles

[1/10 · 29 October 2017]

You know, I don't hate Denzel Washington or anything (though his street accent does kind of bug me), but he really isn't very much of an actor. He was good in 'Philadelphia' and he at least tried to give a performance in 'Training Day', but other than those two films, Denzel is mediocre at best and simply redundant the rest of the time.

There's nothing about his character here that I find enlightening and nothing about his acting that I find unique to the role. That big hair and those gigantic eyeglasses have got to go. So does that frumpy suit, and while he's at it, Denzel can pack up his inhibited acting style and go do dinner theater somewhere, preferably off the beaten path.

In summation, if I'm supposed to be impressed with his performance, he can take the next train out of town.... I think it leaves at midnight. He better hurry before he turns into a frumpy loser with big hair and giant glasses-- wait a minute, that's the part he played in the movie. He surely wouldn't want to go back into character. That would suck.

Zandy's Bride (1974)

Zandy's Deride

[4/10 · 27 October 2017]

Stupid cowboy marries a foreigner chick desperate to settle down.

Gene Hackman is as good as can be expected, but this story goes nowhere fast with episodic scenes that result to a jumbled collage through a seamless lack of continuity. Some supporting actors are good: Susan Tyrell and Eileen Heckart. Some stink: Joe Santos.

Dumb character development includes Hackman being too much of a half-wit to soften up to his new wife (Liv Ullman), and also when he goes on hiatus to San Francisco but decides to return to Ullman bearing gifts and a make-over -- Hackman buys all new clothes except for his hat. He likes that floppy old thing stinking on top of his head.

Unnecessary western with a predictable and unsatisfying ending.

Bear Island (1979)

Bare Island

[2/10 · 25 October 2017]

This movie stinks.

Donald Sutherland can't get through one day without screwing up and taking somebody with him when he crashes and burns. Lots of celebrities sprinkle the cast. This film seems to be made up of many other films like Death Ship and The Thing. A slow-moving script doesn't help.

Ultimately episodic with boring digressions into the personal lives of some of the scientists. You start to wish a meteor would land right on top of the research station -- or maybe a ship in the icy waters would get attacked by a giant octopus wearing a parka... that would be cool.

Another movie where the film-makers had too much faith in their lousy script.

Midway (1976)

Yeah, Midway...... you'll stop watching this tripe Midway through the movie

[1/10 · 25 October 2017]

How dumb is this? A war film which tries to copy another war film made 6 years earlier (Tora Tora Tora, 1970).

Upchuck Heston is drawn as a god of sorts by director Jack "Hack" Smight. In one scene, Hal Holbrook is standing right in front of Heston, but looks up at Heston like he's looking at a painting on the ceiling.

There must have been something about Bob Webber that Heston didn't like because Heston is cold to him whenever they're on screen together -- or maybe Heston just didn't like playing junior to Webber in rank. Newsflash, Upchuck: IT'S A MOVIE, YOU DILDO! Upchuck Heston.... pffft.

If you get the chance to watch this navy bugle oil, pull up the gangplank and go full-steam-ahead out to sea.

Under Siege (1992)

Under-Believable

[6/10 · 21 October 2017]

Stupid albeit entertaining military film about a collection of traitors whom attempt to procure an American naval vessel.

Steve Seagal is not too bad as an ex-navy Seal who now holds the position of a cook on board the ship in question. When the gun-play erupts, not one of the many bad guys swarming around the deck and innards of the ship walks through the door at the right time to shoot Seagal in the back -- they only appear after Seagal has wasted somebody uninterrupted so he can turn around just in time for the next pigeon to enter the room and blow him away as well (just like Rambo and all those other cardboard action movie characters).

For all its ineptitude, this movie remains a solid action flick. Actually, one of Seagal's best films (my personal favorite Seagal film, for what that's worth.... I'm not a die-hard Seagal fan).

Don't forget to see Steve in 'On Deadly Ground' where he plays a peaceful ecology activist who has the audacity (and hypocrisy) to punch the crap out of a guy in a bar to the point where the guy is ready to drop dead, as well as Seagal, 'our hero', wearing animal skins and littering the Alaskan tundra with his cigarette butts.

Bonanza: Elizabeth, My Love (1961) Season 2, Episode 33

Ben, The Star

[7/10 · 15 October 2017]

Pretty good episode where Ben reminisces about one of his ex-wives (Adam's Mom).

Funny to see Ben in the navy on a ship shouting orders.... of course, he's a high-ranking officer (the writers ALWAYS do that -- they make the star a big shot officer during his military days. See McGarrett (Jack Lord) in a Hawaii 5-O episode where he also reminisces about when he wore his cute navy white OFFICER uniform).

Ben's former dark-haired navy persona is a little bit too goody-goody, of course, that was expected also. The STAR has to be drawn as a perfect human being. Anyway, of interest for the novelty of seeing Ben in the service.

Geraldine Brooks plays Ben's former love.

My World Dies Screaming (1958)

Much better than the low rating shown here

[8/10 · 8 October 2017]

This is a good film. Anyone who disses it doesn't know jack about good horror movies.

Cathy O'Donnell deserved a solid career. She was always an understudy of sorts. This was possibly her finest film as her performance is first-rate. Scares abound in this movie, though some reviewers stupidly refer to it as a low-budget failure.

Probably the most interesting thing about this film is that it was photographed in 'Psycho-Rama', a process which involved subliminal images of scary faces that flashed on the screen periodically.

Recommended for horror film aficionados.

Winter of the Witch (1969 TV Movie)

Nonsensical trash

[1/10 · 8 October 2017]

Over-baked poppycock about a 300-year old witch living in a 1970 New York mansion which gets bought by an unemployed soccer mom and her annoying son for $400 dollars.

After deciding to co-exist with the private witch, the two mortal intruders allow the sorceress to prepare 'magic blueberry pancakes' which apparently "make people happy". Unfortunately for the witch, the loafing duo stands by doing nothing while the witch does all the cooking.

The thing missing from this grade school film is a scene where the witch pushes the lazy mom and her rotten off-spring into the big black pot to be boiled alive. At least the witch admits she wants to go back to scaring people.

Goofy, dated, and ultimately lame attempt at a 'feel-good' horror flick.

Horror 102: Endgame (2004 Video)

Kind of lame.... I wanted to like it..... if only the chicks lifted their tops or something

[2/10 · 24 September 2017]

I wanted to like this very cheap flick. No doubt the film-makers rented an empty office building for a weekend so they could make this 'movie'.

A group of student idiots wander around doing nothing in particular. The film lacks any genuine scary stuff, but what is more evidently lacking - and what was obviously needed - was just one of the various girls in the film dancing on top of a table naked. Now that would have been a good thing.

I just can never understand how some people can get the opportunity to make a movie and then they come up with something as lame as this.

Never mind this 'End-game'.... I hope independent film-makers 'End-making-movies-like-this-one'.

Casino (1995)

Ca-stinko!

[1/10 · 24 September 2017]

Robert DeZero over-does his 'cigarette holding' in every freaking scene to the point where it becomes unintentional humor. Him and the little short director, Martin Snoresayzee, were too stupid to realize this.

That was just one of the many screw-ups in this repetitive flick. Joe Pudgy is on hand (again) to play a gangster. Portraying DeZero's wife is Sharon Stoned. There's really no point to this movie except to team DeZero, Snoresayzee, Pudgy, and Stoned. In the role of Pudgy's right-hand man is Frank Pissant; playing the mob's lawyer is Kevin Potluck; in the part of DeZero's lawyer is former real-life mob lawyer, Oscar Hoodman.

Zionism is alive as usual in this lame movie filled with the 'f-word' so we'll all think it's really cool. Of course, intelligent people know that it's not. Same old DeZero-Snoresayzee-Pudgy garbage.

Flight (I) (2012)

Grounded

[4/10 · 21 September 2017]

Denzel Washington plays a thoroughly unlikable airline pilot who flies his passenger-laden aircraft while high on drugs and alcohol resulting in a crash which kills six people on-board.

After his chief executive and the lawyer he hired find out that Denzel was blitzed at the controls of the plane, they both join the Unlikable Club by trying to bury the truth so they can get the pilot off the hook.

Stupid 'only-in-the-movies' stuff includes Denzel flying the airliner inverted (upside down) and the co-pilot opting not to reveal what he knows about the pilot's impaired condition the day of the crash because the co-pilot is a religious fanatic who chooses God over conscience.... SCRIPTWRITER COP-OUT!!!

John Goodman is on hand (again) to over-act as a worthless drug dealer with a comic twist in his performance which fails miserably.

My one most important issue concerning this film is: Why didn't they make it on the level? What's with Denzel having swagger and an irresponsible attitude? Why not portray him as a real character, an airline captain who has a terrible secret? The way they did it, this movie is simply 'comic-book', incredulous, and dumb. It's a real shame.

I strongly recommend, that if you wish to see a realistic film about an alcoholic airline captain, watch 'The Pilot' (1980) starring Cliff Robertson, whom also directed. Now THAT was a realistic movie on this subject.

Swashbuckler (1976)

Patent-Pending Pirate Puke

[1/10 · 25 July 2017]

Why are all contemporary pirate movies the same? It's the repetitive schtick of adventuresome music accompanied by a daring hero, the token wench, and the typical gay pirate rigamarole.

Bob Shaw is such a wild guy. Gee, he's so wild. He steals bananas, almost kills the wench when he drives a wagon off a 200-foot cliff into the ocean surf below, and runs around on land doing nothing in particular except to fill his days with wasteful loafing. Gosh, he's such a wild-- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

You've seen it all before, but I'm hesitant to say you'e seen anything better. These movies are all the same, the same old schtick.

Columbo: A Deadly State of Mind (1975) Season 4, Episode 6

Meh.... not that great

[3/10 · 27 June 2017]

Sometimes TV writing sucks, and this is one of those times.

Columbo's first 'clue' is a tiny little speck of metal that he finds on a carpet which is of a similar color as the speck of metal. Of course Columbo is intrigued by the speck of junk which he cannot identify - he even keeps it. He may as well be intrigued by every dust particle in every corner of the house.

Later at a dinner party while the case is still pending, Columbo speaks openly in front of strangers to the villain about developments in the case.

The worst writing in the episode is when Columbo has a man 'try to act blind' when it's not necessary. This is supposed to incriminate the villain who supposedly saw a blind man outside the house the day of the murder. But having the man 'act blind' was a mistake. Columbo says, "You couldn't know this man was blind unless you saw a blind man that day", but the blind man's brother was 'acting blind' to try to pretend he was the blind man! The villain obviously assumes he's blind. That ruins Columbo's little trap. Columbo should have had the brother discreetly behave as though he could see.

Not one of the best episodes, especially the ending, but the ride through the episode is good, as usual, mostly thanks to Peter Falk's always-flawless portrayal of Lieutenant Columbo.

Final Appeal (1993 TV Movie)

Another alcoholic lawyer movie

[3/10 · 25 June 2017]

I can't believe there's only 1 review for this flick -- 2 now that I've jumped on the very small and quiet bandwagon.

Brian Dennehy plays a drunk lawyer (familiar) who rises to the occasion (familiar) while the cumbersome script tries to be compelling (familiar). Jobeth Williams plays the potential victim, but you know she won't be guilty because Hollywood never writes her to be the 'heavy'. The result is predictability.... and boredom.

Not much of a movie. It's just one long waiting game to see whose recollection of a killing is the true one.

The Pilot (1980)

'The Pilot' (1980)

[5/10 · 16 May 2017]

Author Bob Davis adapts from his novel for his screenplay, but he tries to put too much in his flat script while concomitantly neglecting to explain several of the plot elements which are presented here but not defined as they are in the book.

Cliff Robertson was a rather stoic actor, but pilots can be pretty stoic sometimes, so this trait is probably a plus for the film. Robertson was also a pilot in real life, but that is an ultimately negligible factor. Diane Baker as the alcoholic pilot's mistress is given nothing to do and Frank Converse (how did this guy ever get an acting career?) is nothing as the panicky co-pilot. Dana Andrews appears in what amounts to be a cameo, Gordon MacRae is a loud-mouthed administrator, and Ed Binns is the captain-turned-secret agent who spies on Robertson.

Not bad, could have been better. Unique subject matter; interesting with the potentiality of being true-to-life, much more than Denzel Washington's addict pilot in 'Flight' (2012).

Impulse (1974)

Shatner does his schtick

[1/10 · 7 May 2017]

Goofy film about a maniac murderer (Bill Shatner).

Shatner once again proves that the only good thing he ever did was Star Trek. His relentless mugging and over-acting is curious because he's a talented performer albeit one-dimensional.... Shatner is Shatner in everything he does.

Ruth Roman is much better, though she again plays an unsympathetic character. Hollywood surely has never learned how to cast actors, and definitely has never learned how NOT to stereotype them. Kim Nicholas is fine as a troubled little girl.

Shatner fans will want to tune in, but most people know he has a limited range. If you're just another undemanding 'trekkie', than have at it.

War Paint (1953)

This paint is peeling

[1/10 · 28 April 2017]

Simply horrendous imitation (like countless other films) of John Ford's cavalry westerns.

Director Lesley Selander delivers no surprises in this stinky flick that features stoic Bob Stack as an army commander; Keith Larsen as an Indian - Keith Larsen? .... yeah, right; and gorgeous Joan Taylor as a squaw (not even close, but who cares? Joan is beautiful). Unfortunately, Peter Graves, one the poorest excuses for an actor in cinematic history, plays one of the stupid soldiers (type-casting, I guess).

Film has virtually nothing of value (except Joan), but at least it's short, though even at only 90 minutes, you'll still consider hanging yourself from the big tree in the backyard to escape the boredom this movie has to offer.

Cut the cowboys and indians off at the pass and watch something else, preferably John Ford's 'Fort Apache' (1948).

Crimson Tide (1995)

Crumbs and Twine

[5/10 · 15 April 2017]

OK film that strains to be 'gripping'.

Gene Hackman is fine as a submarine captain who must battle with the second-in-command (Denzel Washington in an annoying portrayal). The movie dog-paddles along using crummy clichés that are intertwined with familiarizations of other navy flicks like The Caine Mutiny and The Hunt for Red October.

The only real question here is which officer (Hackman or Washington) is going to triumph at the end of the film by making the 'right decision' concerning the prospect of the release of nuclear missiles. Script inadequacies include the over-use of expletives and a silly racist element. See this for Gene Hackman's usual solid performance, but really, folks, you've seen this mutiny and submarine stuff before.

P.S. Note to the director - and many other directors whom make this same mistake..... Unless they're receiving a citation, MILITARY PERSONNEL DO NOT SALUTE INDOORS!

Amadeus (1984)

Good production values, though ultimately flawed

[3/10 · 8 April 2017]

Tom Hulce as Mozart basically ruins the film with his relentless mugging; he was only chosen because of his cackling laugh.

The movie has lavish set designs and costumes, but the underlying hatred of Italians makes the film mean-spirited. In fact, ask yourself why the film-makers wanted to disrespect the Italians so vehemently. Other mistakes include the casting of Lez Berridge, who annoyingly refers to 'Wolfgang Mozart' as "Volfie", her Brooklyn accent in tow-- make that her Coney Island accent.

Worth tuning in to see a perfect performance by Murry Abrahum playing the Italian musical genius, Antonio Salieri.

Max Rose (2013)

The Schmuck Returns

[1/10 · 27 March 2017]

Jerry Lewis was cast in this slobbering bore-fest about an old geezer whom has recently lost his wife.

The most sore-thumb quality about this tripe is the fact that it has no point except to prop up Lewis as a kindly old load whom we're supposed to find irresistible..... I did not. Hopefully this will be his swan song as an actor (by the way, he was NEVER an actor).

Lewis was a comedian, nothing more -- and even then, he was funny only when he was funny, which wasn't very often. His pathetic films (especially the ones he directed) have proved that.

If nothing else, Lewis' movies over the years (most notably in the 1960's) can be viewed as a poignant exercise in self-aggrandizement, similar to the way he conducted himself on the Labor Day telethons where he always said things like, "What 'I' have tried to do here....". Always "I", not "We".... "My kids", not "Our kids", etc.

And for those who are too stupid to realize it (and there are many), Lewis cannot act, he cannot direct, and he certainly cannot sing. Just like any other mediocre performer, Lewis lucked into the position to do whatever he wanted to do in the entertainment industry, so he thinks he's a singer. Having fun in your little fantasy-life there, Jerry? In his lame attempt to feel superior to others, Lewis has never possessed the cognizance to understand that other people (even if they're not 'famous') are worthwhile human beings. Being famous, trying to be humorous, or owning a yacht, is not what makes the man. That comes from the inside. Being a loving person comes from an amiable heart.

Most of all, love comes from sincerity which allows a person to accept and help others. Jerry didn't get that, he just never got it. Not when he was pan-handling for nickels on those telethons, and certainly not in 'Max Rose'. The audience is only offered a character filled with syrupy vomit which Jerry was hoping would be construed as "charm", an obvious failure.

No doubt Lewis was expecting a 'deserved' Oscar for this.... deservedly, he didn't get it.

International Airport (1985 TV Movie)

Oh, puh-leeez!

[2/10 · 21 February 2017]

Another of the countless 'Airport' (1970) movie imitations, this time the plane is being harassed by a haunting letter written by a would-be bomber.

Every celebrity who sits by their phone waiting for their agent to call is in this one. Well, that's not quite true. If that were true, then EVERY ACTOR IN THE WORLD would be in this movie.

Some of the unlucky participants are Bob Reed as a curiously anti-heterosexual (i.e. gay) businessman, Gil Gerard as a spiffy airport manager, Bill Bixby as a temperamental air controller (and no, he doesn't turn green, darn it), and Connie Selleca (Gerard's then-real life wife) as a dynamo airport worker.

If absolutely nothing else is on TV......

Skyjacked (1972)

How did this fool Heston ever get a career?

[1/10 · 18 February 2017]

Upchuck Heston does his BAD-ACTING schtick, this time as a pilot of a commercial plane.

So REALISTIC how Rosey Grier tries to TACKLE the bomber! Oh yes. And then when the controller Claude Akins BANTERS aimlessly to bring in the airliner just when a small plane wanders into the area. Jim Brolin is the bomber. He has a BRIEFCASE of explosives! Oh no! What the hell are we going to do now? We can't turn the channel! This is a MOVIE! Oh..... my..... GODDDD!!!!

I'm sorry. I just can't take it anymore. I must curtail my review. Besides, my Dinty Moore BEEF STEW is ready..... I'm really hungry.