Achoo42 Reviews

The Legend of Korra (2012–2014)

Fantastic show, although deeper than TLA

[9/10 · 29 May 2017]

Well, the first season turned out to be political commentary on Communist China, except (spoiler) Communism doesn't succeed.

I mean, c'mon. "Equalists?" Who wants balance for everyone? Except Amon is actually a bender himself so he's corrupt like all the Communist leaders? Amon was born a peasant boy and watched capitalism, er, benders hurt him? Mao Ze Dong, anyone? And then the industrialization led by Sato Industries? All leading up to a great revolution? Definitely Communism, not the Nazis like one reviewer said.

Anyhow, it's pretty great how they handled it all. Maybe a little too much teen drama that no one asked for, but there is definitely

The Sting (1973)

Timeless masterpiece

[9/10 · 16 January 2017]

At first I was only interested in this movie because of the prominence of Scott Joplin, but I soon found out that it had a lot more going for it than just the score.

Highs: Let's start off with the obvious: the soundtrack. Even if the movie was unbelievably bad the music would still be good. I mean, it's Scott Joplin! I'm not going to give Marvin (may he rest in peace) too much credit here because all he did was adapt it a little, but kudos for using Scott Joplin in the first place.

For a 1930s-style movie the script is on point. Not only is it witty but it just sounds like what would be expected of the era. Very entertaining in and of itself; the same thing could be said of the soundtrack.

We can't leave off the plot; this movie is in fact so plot-centric that it would probably be considered a failure if George Roy Hill somehow managed to not pull it off smoothly. Of course, it all works out like clockwork, and it's a fantastically entertaining series of events to watch.

The acting is impeccable. I've seen better but really it can't get that much better than this. Redford and Newman work together just as well as in their previous masterwork "Cassidy and the Kid", or, rather, have the audience fooled otherwise. Seems a little clichéd but remember this is a 70s movies; it's only a cliché now BECAUSE of this movie. The plot twist was in no way dated in the time period in which it was shown. I'm not going to spoil it; to do that would be an injustice to any first-time watchers.

Despite the seeming anachronism, the Sting still retains a strangely timeless quality.

Lows: Any Joplin purist (which I often will be) will oppose to the orchestral adaption of the pieces. I actually have no problem with these adaptations, they don't really feel out of place or anything. Which leads me to the next point: Joplin's music SHOULD be out of place. He was already a forgotten figure for at least 15 years when the movie took place. With that being said though, the soundtrack still fits swimmingly with the rest of the work.

It's actually incredible how well the song selection fits with the plot. If you know Joplin and can name the tunes as soon as they float from the screen (as can I) then you really have to give Marvin credit for placing them where they are. "The Entertainer", of course, is during the opening and the title selection; where the audience requires a little...entertainment. "Easy Winners" is played right after Luther and Hooker walk away loaded after a con...easy money. And Solace is, of course, played during Hooker's search for love...or solace. I can't find anything to say about the "Pineapple Rag", for obvious reasons (this movie doesn't mention or show fruit very much at all) but the others are pretty genius.

The only real con here is that Marvin is given a little bit too much credit. Many people will remember him as the "composer" of the brilliant tunes while it is in fact the one and only Scott Joplin who originated them. That is probably the only legitimate low I can find here.

Gnomeo & Juliet (2011)

Absolute garbage.

[2/10 · 6 August 2016]

After reading the wonderful Shakespearean masterpiece that is Romeo and Juliet, I decided to watch this take on his beloved classic. Here are some of my thoughts:

Highs: The animation was nice. Which is more than I can say for some other movies I've watched.

Lows: Almost everything else. Romeo and Juliet is a good story because it is a twist on the "love at first sight" cliché. Gnomeo and Juliet doesn't have that twist. It is only the cliché. Which happens to be the most clichéd clichés of all time. And that's not the only cliché you'll see. This entire film is packed full of clichés that are all unbearably cringeworthy. In fact, this film has so many clichés that it makes me feel like I'm saying cliché too much. And what's with the gnomes? Who thought it was a good idea to remake Romeo and Juliet, except without death and with gnomes? It's your typical Disneyesque clichéd "meets true love" film that is unexciting in any way. Spoiler alert: Yup, nobody dies at the end. What a ripoff. After sustaining through this entire crapfest I wanted at least the satisfaction of the main characters committing suicide and whatnot, but I didn't even get that. I do appreciate that they put in innuendos like Shakespeare did with his plays, but the innuendos in Gnomeo and Juliet were juvenile and just stupid. I probably could live with them if they were witty but they weren't. The music is terrible too. People are going to trash me for this but I just don't like Elton John.

Verdict: Stay away. Unless you like clichéd tripe, which is surprisingly what a lot of people do like.

Birdemic 2: The Resurrection (2013)

All Birdemic 1 had was a lack of self awareness that made it funny. Birdemic 2 doesn't even have that.

[1/10 · 5 August 2016]

I tried watching it for free on Youtube and I still feel like I got ripped off.

Let's start with the highs: None. This is not a "so bad it's good" movie like the first Birdemic. It's a "so bad it's bad" movie.

Lows: Everyhing. All the unintentional mistakes from Birdemic 1 are now intentional in Birdemic 2. This proves just how much of a moron James Nguyen is. You can't expect to have the same level of charm by intentionally repeating your mistakes. It was funny the first time, from the terrible audio, to the coat hangers, to the idiotic birds, that had a level of humor and charm to it that you just can't repeat. I hate this movie with a passion. I loved Birdemic 1. 2 just ruined the franchise for me.

Verdict: The worst movie I've seen all year. Definitely on my top 10 most hated list. This is absolute garbage. Get Birdemic 1, Trolls 2, The Room, whatever, just stay clear of this movie.

Superman: The Mad Scientist (1941)

Excellent action and fun.

[10/10 · 25 July 2016]

One day, I was on YouTube trying to find these old Superman shorts that had been my childhood (we borrowed then from the library and watched them on VCR). And they were so fascinating I watched the entire Youtube series in a sitting. Here are my thoughts:

Highs: Animation is gorgeous. I guess the budget was higher in he 40s, because actual effort was put into every scene. Compare this to something like the 60s Spiderman or some of today's kids shows and you will see a gigantic difference. The stories are exciting and easy to follow. Lois is an intrepid character and really is the Lois we know and love today. Superman is unchanged from today, other than his lack of heat vision. The shorts are exciting throughout.

Lows: There is propaganda against the Japanese, but it was 1941! What do you expect?

Verdict: One of the best animated cartoons ever made. Do yourself a favor and try to find these.

Batman: The Animated Series (1992–1995)

One of the best, if not THE best, animated shows of all time.

[10/10 · 24 July 2016]

This show was my childhood, and looking back on it now, it still is fantastic.

Highs: For a children's show, you really can't get more complex and sophisticated than Batman: TAS. If you were watching it is a kid, it was entertaining because it's Batman beating up people and escaping from death traps. If you were an adult watching it was entertaining because you can appreciate how deep it actually was. The dialogue is witty, the animation is solid, the voices are fantastic (Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill really shine here) and the stories are very well written, especially ones like "Mad Love".

Lows: Not many. Perhaps it's too dark for a kid's show.

Verdict: One of the best, if not THE best, animated shows of all time. It's up there with One Punch Man, The Last Airbender, and Fullmetal Alchemist, all of which I have watched and loved.

Captain America (1990)

The Captain's capers will cause caustic catastrophic cringe.

[1/10 · 27 June 2016]

Probably the worst superhero film of all time. And I've watched all the trash ones, like Green Lantern, Batman and Robin, Catwoman, Elektra, Fant4stic, Superman IV, etc. Now, let's begin with the...

Highs: Funny, but unintentionally so.

Lows: It's like a parody. A parody of Captain America. Unfortunately, that's not what the director had in mind. Logic was nonexistent in this movie. Remember in Trolls 2 where the kid pees on the food instead of just throwing it away? That is the type of logic in this movie. None whatsoever.

Examples: Red Skull is grabbed by Captain America strapped to a rocket. Because Red Skull doesn't want to be taken with the rocket, what does he do?

A. Nothing, and let gravity do the work.

B. Kill Captain America with the knife in his hand.

C. Cut off Captain America's hand.

D. Cut off his own hand. Yes, the correct answer is D. Congratulations, Red Skull is the winner for the dumbest supervillain if all time. Also, his face looks like a collection of acne scars.

The Captain is no bright bulb either, believe it or not. He steals two cars from the very people who are trying to help him, and in the second instance of car theft, he actually gets stuck because he can't speak Italian. Then the person he just stole from bails him out. The entire scene just kicks karma in the balls.

There are some gigantic logical errors that also don't have to do with the characters themselves. In the very beginning, it's early World War 2 and Nazis are going around murdering random Italian families. WTF? The Italians are their allies. It's like America's navy just going around sinking random British cargo ships.

Another particularly stupid scene (this movie has a lot of them) is when Cap is strapped to a rocket headed straight for the White House. What does he do? He kicks it off course. You read right. Apparently his kicks also refueled the rocket, since it now has the power to fly all the way to Alaska. That's right. And the stupidity doesn't end there. Another ridiculously braindead scene is the entire end fight. It's.....oh, you'll just need to watch it yourself. Too stupid to convey with words.

Other low points in the movie include boring action scenes, plot holes, terrible acting, and general laziness throughout, especially with the costumes. Captain America's eyeholes don't even align with his eyes, and his ears are fake rubber ears. They didn't even bother cutting ear holes into the mask. That's how lazy they were.

Verdict: Watch it. You won't regret it, because it's a barrelful of laughs.

The Amazing Bulk (2012 Video)

The WORST movie ever made.

[1/10 · 26 June 2016]

I've watched The Room. I've watched both Birdemics. I've watched Laserblast, Oogieloves and the Big Balloon Adventure, Cool Cat Saves the Kids, Plan 9 from Outer Space, Trolls 2, and a whole other load of unimaginable crap.

I've even watched Ratatoing, The Little Panda Fighter, and the Fred movies. Yes. I've watched the Fred movies.

And this shines above the rest. "Shines" is kind of an ironic word, because this movie in no way shines.

Highs: None. This is a "so bad it's bad" movie, not a "so bad it's good" movie.

Lows: Everything. The very first scenes were already incoherent. The entire movie was incoherent. The CGI was unbelievably poor. Even worse than Birdemic, pretty much because it's LAZY. Only 6 of the CGI scenes were made for the actual movie. Everything else was taken off random websites. If you watch the movie, there will be random confusing sh!t because the director was too lazy to hire an animator. The Amazing Bulk is supposed to be a spoof, or 'mockbuster' of the Incredible Hulk. It has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the Incredible Hulk, other than the fact that Hulk rhymes with Bulk. You thought the CGI Hulk was bad? Well, the Bulk is worse. A thousand times worse. It's a naked purple piece of jell-o. In fact, if they animated jell-o, it'd look better. There are no real scenes in this movie. Everything is behind a greenscreen.The acting is abysmal. There are zero redeeming qualities behind this movie. Even Trolls 2 had unintentional hilarity. The worst thing about this movie is that the director KNOWS it's terrible and tries to make a joke out of it. Basically, he's going like "Yeah, the movie is bad. But it's intentionally bad so it's god. Our budget was low anyways". No. A bad movie is good when it's ironically funny. This was not. It's so bad, and the director is SO desperate, that they advertise it as "The Room of Superhero Movies". That is a complete act of desperation that just kills any enjoyability this movie had.

Verdict: Again, the worst movie ever made. Ever. Give this movie a wide, wide, berth.

God's Not Dead (2014)

Entertaining, but doesn't prove anything.

[6/10 · 26 June 2016]

Disclaimer: I am Christian.

Highs: The debate was fun to watch.

Even though it doesn't prove anything. Far better than Left Behind, though.

Lows: Most of the acting seemed a bit mediocre. This film, overall, doesn't have any depth. It's obscurities that, as I say again, don't prove anything. Not all atheists hate God. In fact, if they hated God they wouldn't be atheists, because in order to hate something you'd need to concede that they did in fact exist. This is a labelling kind of film. It labels Christians into one set, Muslims into another, and Atheists into another. The Muslim part was pretty offensive I guess but in the Middle East Muslims would do far worse. And that's not just stereotyping, it's true. A Christian in countries where Islamic extremist presence is strong has a very low survival rate. But it would be fallacious to label all Muslims in this sense, especially in America.

Other notes: You shouldn't vote this film as a bad film simply because you didn't agree from a religious viewpoint. Rate it bad if it is bad. This was not a very good film but neither was it very bad.

Verdict: Not a fantastic film by any stretch of the word. Because of it's labelling, it's a one dimensional film. I recommend it for entertainment only, not as an educational or religious film.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)

I love this movie.

[1/10 · 24 June 2016]

Has to be one of the best bad movies of all time, just hovering around Trolls 2.

Highs: Everything about this movie is so bad that unintentionally, it's hilarious.

Lows: The beginning of the movie was not hilariously bad, it was boringly bad. I mean, who cares about driving? The camera-work is probably the poorest of any movie I've ever seen. The Mustang is driving painfully slow, yet the camera still can't focus on it. The editing and audio iss coming out of my high school projects. Actually, some of my high school projects had better audio than this. Alan Bagh is probably one of he worst actors I've seen yet. Cinemasins sums it up nicely, with his personality being described as "blank and stalkery". The girl is better but you can tell she's not taking any of it seriously. The dialogue is clichéd, boring, and just terrible overall. Although since English is probably Nguyen's second language, we can't blame him.

Hmmm....that seems to be about it. I feel like I'm missing something though.......Oh, God. The CGI. The CGI. It's Ratatoing level. For those of you fortunate enough to have not seen Ratatoing, that translates to hilariously, unbelievably, awful.

Verdict: Buy this movie. Watch it. It's fantastic.

Fred: The Movie (2010 TV Movie)

Fred is a freakishly fantastically failure at fun.

[1/10 · 16 June 2016]

Highs: There were one or two jokes that were funny.

Lows: Of course, for a comedy movie, "one or two funny jokes" is a tremendous failure. This movie was about as funny as Man of Steel. Fred is not funny. His screams are obnoxious, his voice is annoying, and he's a terrible actor. The plot is an incoherent mush based on a creepy stalker premise. Fred is completely disconnected from reality, and as a viewer, you'll wish you were disconnected from this movie. Frankly, this movie is stupid. Unbelievably so. Dumb as bricks. Perhaps dumber.

Verdict: There was nothing good about this movie. Don't watch it, you'll save a couple of brain cells. Thank me later.

Ip Man (2008)

The story is just as powerful as Ip Man's fighting.

[8/10 · 26 May 2016]

Highs: Incredibly thrilling. I went to see Ip Man with high expectations, with it being Donnie Yen and Sammo Hung and all, and I was blown away by the fantastic choreography, the thrilling speed and skill shown by the fighters, and the superbly portrayed antagonist and protagonist.

Lows: It is a bit of a propaganda film, but it's Chinese and takes place in WW2. We have all sorts of acclaimed propaganda films in America too, like Saving Private Ryan, Zero Dark Thirty, etc. There's zero issues with the portrayal of Japan in this case, since it's a war film.

Verdict: Go see it. It's an R-rated movie, but a tame one at that.Some scenes might be a bit hard to stomach though, because the violence does get a bit gruesome (bones breaking, pools of blood, etc.) but nowhere near many other R-films I have watched.

Kung Fu Hustle (2004)

Brilliant, humorous, and wildly exciting.

[10/10 · 24 May 2016]

Good: Almost everything. I love it all, from the crazy slapstick humor, to the wild kung-fu fantasy fighting, to the insane villains and incredible heroes. Stephen Chow is not a man who does things by halves. When he does things, he does it all the way. Kung Fu Hustle is physical evidence of this. Kung Fu Hustle is not a film for the meek. Everything about it is completely over the top from the beginning (where a man's leg is sliced clean in two by an axe) to the end (a kung-fu style called the Toad, which emulates the croaking and hopping of it's namesake). Another amazing aspect is the soundtrack. Inspired by classic Shaolin music, it's incredibly fitting to the scenes in this movie. I actually went out of my way to find the soundtrack to listen by itself. The special effects are a bit too much, but that's just part of it's charm and humor. This is my favorite movie of all time in terms of sheer entertainment. I've watched it 4 times already.

Bad: Character development. The protagonist, Sing, isn't a hero until 3/4ths of the movie is through. And for no apparent reason or explanation other than the lollipop. The Landlady and Landlord are also cowards until the movie is halfway through, also for no apparent reason.

Verdict: I highly recommend watching this movie at least once. Or twice. Or thrice. Or four times like I did.

Fist of Legend (1994)

Fist of legend remake is still pretty legendary.

[9/10 · 23 May 2016]

Good: Almost everything. The fight scenes are incredible. Jet Li oozes skill, speed and presence. Maybe not as much as Bruce Lee but Jet is definitely a worthy actor for this classic kung-fu flick remake. I can't comment on the plot since it is based on the original movie, and the original is based on a folktale anyways.

Bad: The end. I just didn't like how he faked out his own death. A real sacrifice would've been much more moving, but they played it out as humour. Also, it is evident that some of the fighting scenes are sped up. You don't need to speed up Jet Li fights! You just don't! What's ironic is that Bruce Lee actually had to slow down his moves on camera, and here, it's opposite.

Verdict: 100% recommend.

The Dark Knight (2008)

The best of the trilogy, and that's saying a lot.

[9/10 · 23 May 2016]

Good: Superb action with gripping fight sequences. The interrogation chamber was chilling and held me to my seat. Just the right amount of dark humour that is beautifully portrayed by the late Heath Ledger. Ledger really is a great actor. Bale was good too, but he really falls under the shadow in the Dark Knight. Incredibly resounding and deep.

Bad: Joker's plan is a little bit too intricate when analyzed. It requires too much to fit together to work. And of course, the voice. Bale's voice is not what I think Batman should sound like.

Verdict: See it once, twice, or more. I generally dislike putting 10/10 or 1/1 but this deserves it.

The Little Panda Fighter (2008 Video)

Not as bad as Ratatoing but that's not saying a lot.

[1/10 · 23 May 2016]

Seeing how Ratatoing is probably the worst animated film ever, saying that Little Panda Fighter isn't as bad is saying nothing at all.

Let's start with the good: With a little work (I mean, a lot of work), the plot of the movie could actually be plausible as a real movie. But get rid of the bears. Why would you have bears? Just to copy Kung Fu Panda?

Bad: Yet again Video Brinquedo just shows how talent-less it's animators are. Oh, God. If cancer were a show, this would be it.

Verdict: Although this is undoubtedly a kids film, don't even show it to your kids, unless you want to stunt their growth and ruin their childhood. And in that case the CPS will be over you in a jiffy.

Happy Feet (2006)

Penguin pointed plot paints a passing picture.

[7/10 · 23 May 2016]

Good: The animation is good. It was semi-3D and quite fluid. The plot by itself is not a bad concept either. I liked the idea as a whole. The singing is moving in some instances, and uplifting in others. The water and massive icebergs gave you a sense of awe that is always welcome in any movie.

Bad: The concept has lots of flaws. Like the entire "penguin communicating with tapping" thing. That's not what penguins do. The entire film is surrounded around a human deus ex machina which perfectly solves everything just because the penguins can tap dance. That's the thing I hate about animal movies. If animals really were as smart as humans they would've taken over long ago.

Verdict: Go watch it with your kids or whatever. it's not bad.

Ratatoing (2007 Video)

Perilously poor pirated piece of Pixar.

[1/10 · 23 May 2016]

Highs: The dialogue wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Still isn't good though.

Lows: Let's start with the obvious: This is a direct copy of Ratatouille. Both movies even start with "Ratato". The plot is slightly different, but it's still incredibly similar. Video Brinquedo is probably the most lazy studio in the world based on what I've seen from them so far. Another con: The animation. It's bad. Incredibly so. As one movie critic put it, "If you ate a copy of the worst cartoon you could think of, you'd still probably crap something better than Ratatoing"

Verdict: Probably the worst animated film I've ever watched. And believe me, there are many bad animated films.

The Avengers (2012)

Avengers is a landmark Marvel film with the effects to match.

[8/10 · 23 May 2016]

Good: Incredible special effects, action sequences, and just a thrilling ride throughout. Robert Downey Jr. is a great actor with lots of charisma, and I don't even like Iron Man. Captain America has a lot of appeal as well. Banner is good too. What this movie lacks in serious depth it makes up in acting and aesthetics.

Bad: As usual of Marvel films, the humor is misplaced and at times excessive. It makes the film lose it's seriousness and the sequences are no longer gripping. And that scene where Hulk randomly smacks Thor. Is that supposed to be humorous? It makes no sense whatsoever and adds nothing to the plot.

Verdict: I would definitely recommend it. It's just a enjoyable film to watch.

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Big buck blockbuster bares banal bearings but not yet boring.

[5/10 · 23 May 2016]

Good: Action scenes were great, along with the stunning visual effects. For a Marvel movie, there's no surprise there.

Bad: Some of the action was repetitive and kinda dumb. A bunch of minions fighting the Avengers led by a big mastermind? Where have we seen that before? Banal might be too strong of a word (that was just for the sake of alliteration) but it sure approaches it. The character development is obviously lacking, and so is depth. Humor is a bit cheesy, and while I did laugh along with the audience it just doesn't fit. There is not a sense of seriousness to the fight, which is why I tend to prefer DC movies.

Verdict: I did enjoy the movie. Not saying I didn't. But it is just not gripping at all. If you haven't watched it yet I would recommend you see it but I'm not gonna watch it more than once.