smilliekurt Reviews

The Theatre Bizarre (2011)

Great anthology film.

[8/10 · 19 November 2015]

I have to admit that i'm slightly biased when it comes to horror anthologies. Being 9 years old and arguing with my nana at Jumbo Video because I was only allowed to rent 2 VHS movies at a time, Anthologies were always a win/win for me. To a 9 year old me, 4 short stories spread between 2 videos made 8 shorter videos essentially. So it came down to being a good mathematical choice. It also showed me from an early age that 15-30 mins were more than enough time to scare the living daylights out of someone. As well as more than enough time to establish a basic plot and likable characters. Anthologies and horror movies that centered around short stories quickly became my favourite type of movie. With that in mind, I tend to get way too excited when watching/reviewing anykind of the aforementioned movies.

This movie was relatively unknown to me when I sat down to start watching it. I found this little gem while doing some research on Udo Kier for another article that I was writing and noticed it in his Acting creds. Upon further research, it seemed to have somewhat of a cult following and a love/hate relationship with people (as do most anthologies however). I found this film to be quite good. With that being said, let me dive right in.

The Theatre Bizarre is comprised of 6 stories. 6 highly effective, stomach churning stories. Not your "average" horror stories by any means either.

"The Mother Of Toads" sees a travelling couple crossing paths with a witch. "I Love You" deals with a lover pushed to his absolute breaking point. "Wet Dreams" is a warning for all abusive boyfriends ( with an absolutely amazing cameo by the one and only Tom Savini ). "The Accident" has a people witnessing just that. "Vision Stains" has a woman getting her fix in the most unthinkable of ways. "Sweets" is a warning that addiction is not always what it seems. These 6 stories frame the story that takes place in between segments, with Udo Kier playing the "cryptkeeper" if you will and leads into each tale of terror. This isn't an anthology for the faint of heart. Some of the topics include: infanticide, infidelity (with a giant frog no less), addiction and fetishes. The scares start off with Enola Penney (Virginia Newcombe) who seems obsessed with a decrepit old theatre across the street. After seemingly being beckoned inside, she sees a puppet on stage (Udo Kier) who begins to weave his twisted tales of lovecraftian vaginas (yes you read that correctly) and giant witch frogs that want to mate. Although some of the subject matter seems to be quite twisted and doesn't take itself to seriously, I guarantee there is at least 1 story in this movie that will stick with you long after the credits have stopped rolling.

A little bit darker than your average tales of horror in the sense it's not good vs. evil, with good always coming out on top. Mostly, if not all, of these tales have an extremely bleak ending or dark sense of justice.

This is another one of those movies best enjoyed with friends just for the sheer visuals portrayed in a few of the stories. "Wet Dreams" will definitely have you and your friends laughing out loud and "The mother of toads" is another one that causes either pure revulsion or gales of laughter.

All in all a great escape into some horror that doesn't cause you to think too hard or follow a convoluted plot.

Stay scared my friends.

The Tunnel (I) (2011)

Great Film! Indie horror at its best!

[7/10 · 19 November 2015]

Carlo Ledesma's "The Tunnel" is a first class example that all you need to for some great horror is some awesome camera-work and an even better script. Too many movies rely on huge million dollar budgets and first class-CGI and come up relatively short of being great or even good movies in some respects.

Natasha ( Bel Delia ) is a reporter that is working on a story that she feels is going to be make her career. We're introduced to Natasha's crew early on with Peter ( Andy Rodoreda ) seemingly in a constant power struggle with Natasha. Tangles ( Luke Arnold ) and Steve ( Steve Davis ) are the goofs on the crew and make up the rest of the party venturing into the tunnel. Australia is going through a water crisis and the government comes up with a plan to tap into the huge reservoirs that are trapped in Sydneys' underground tunnel system. Natasha senses that it could be displacing the homeless that use the tunnels as an escape from the city that has forgotten about them. Sound like a setting for a great horror film? You're not wrong. Eventually Natasha and her film crew start to uncover a much bigger story. It seems that the homeless that use the tunnels are starting to disappear and no- one knows where or really seems too care. The government seems to be turning a blind eye and no one is allowed near the reservoirs as Natasha finds out the hard way when her contacts turn her down. Eventually when they get into the tunnels, they find out the hard way that some stones are better left unturned.

Without giving too much away, the "creature" is shown sparingly and more of the terror and horror come from the limited light sources and the viewers' imaginations. My friends and I still have arguments to this day as to what exactly was hiding in the tunnels as the shots are somewhat vague, but extremely effective. The movie starts off on a slow burn, setting up the events that ultimately lead to a life or death struggle down in the tunnels.

The Tunnel is a movie that is best viewed with an open mind and a couple friends. Classic indie horror at it's best, it's also proof of the quality of horror movies that Australia has been churning out in the last few years. Although not as famous as "The loved ones" or "Storage" , This movie is a prime example that not all scary things come with a million dollar price tag.

One of my all time indie favourites... Watch this movie and you'll be looking over your shoulder every time you venture into a concrete tunnel in the park alone.

7.5/10

Stay scared friends.

Kurt Smillie.

Troll Hunter (2010)

Great Imaginative Norwegian Found Footage/Horror

[9/10 · 25 August 2015]

Trollhunter is one of those rare gems that only comes along once in a while. You go into it expecting to pass a few hours and by the time the end credits finish rolling, you're still thinking "Wow that was great!"

The movie follows a documentary style film crew investigating a recent string of strange and bizarre bear deaths in Norway. Whilst investigating, they start to follow a strange man who seems to know more about the situation than is being leaked to the public.

The movie starts off at somewhat of a slower pace and really hits it stride towards the halfway point. Once they learn of the strange man's profession and subsequent hobby, the action picks up and the plot- line begins to take shape.

The acting is believable and doesn't seem all that forced. The effects for a low budget movie are VERY good especially with the climax at the end of the movie.

My only problem with this movie is that the ending feels somewhat forced and cheap. Given what the characters have to endure and get through it feels like a cop-out.

Overall a great little thrill ride of a movie and the special effects are pretty top notch for a movie of this size and budget. You'll be shouting "TROLLLLSKE" at the top of your lungs before you know it.