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agremlin
Reviews
Immanence (2022)
Run away! Runaway Runaway Runaway!!
I am a very curious person and caught the last 10 minutes or so of this movie on cable and was very confused on what the heck happened here. I then decided to record it the next time it came on cable again to watch the whole movie, maybe it would explain WTF the ending was supposed to be about. I got through about 60% of the movie which was falling apart like a cheap suit. I have no critique of this mess other than "run away!" If you think it will make sense, you have never been more wrong in your entire life. The only part of this movie that has any real connotation connected to religion was the viewers comments of OH MY GOD, this is really bad. I don't know who the writer was, I could look it up but what a waste of time. I can only hope the writer gets what he, or she deserves. What a load of crap! I am astounded that people get paid to put awful stuff like this together. Perhaps it is Satan and it's his way of torturing us, just a little. What an awful mess.
Total Recall (2012)
Great flick, mystified by the horrendous reviews
After skimming a number of reviews I was surprised to found quite a few complained that this action movie had too much action! People, this is not ossello, it's meant for you to sit in the audience, eat popcorn, have a little Pepsi and enjoy yourself. It is not the original movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger. To make the comparisons are fruitless and futile. I found the movie was made with great imagination, skill, spectacular stunts and giving me the impression I wouldn't want Kate Beckinsale chasing me. This was a very very good movie, I might even say it was a great movie. I seen it three times now, that doesn't happen much. It has excellent CGI. You cannot tell the robots are not real. There were a few plot pitfalls but hey, it's just a movie. It is definitely not worth the ratings that the haters be hating it with. I absolutely loved the fight sequences, all of them. As mentioned above, Kate Beckinsale is amazing in this movie. The most beautiful psychopath I have ever seen. If I were ever going to be murdered buy a beautiful sociopath I wanted to be her. My recommendation are forget about all the negative reviews, personally I have no understanding of what these people were expecting but I found the movie pretty good. Not comparable to the original, but on its own it's a great flick! You have my word on it.
Inseminoid (1981)
This is idiotic!
Seriously, how hard can it be for an entire group of people to include at least five guys to restrain or kill one psychopath!!?? Some people found this a well-written story with a few problems. It's not well-written, and it has more than a few problems. Some have compared it as a rip-off of the movie Alien, however it came out only the following year. To me it appears to be just a bit of a coincidence, but this comparison is like comparing one of Mozart's piano concertos to chopsticks. The stupidity of the reactions of the crew upon realizing the threat they faced is pretty much like watching a long version of the Keystone Cops, just not as funny. They did everything that they could possibly do wrong and added a few new things that weren't even in the book of wrong things to do.
Case in point, you know she has murdered her co-workers brutally, instead of sending every able-bodied man with blunt objects, or any kind of weapon knowing that she's a little on the strong side the commander sends takes the doctor and Sharon to subdue the brutal psychopathic herculean woman killer. As the doctor is struggling with her, Commander Holly McKay stands right behind him during the struggle with a high-powered welding gun triggering it needlessly a few times, just feet behind the doctor. You don't have to be a road scholar to know how this scene is going to end. The person who wrote this, did they have to skip kindergarten that day? This is really bad! Horribly horribly awful! And I'm being polite here. Another of many serious flaws is when the commander knows about the death of Barbara at the hands of Sandy, instead of giving an announcement that Sandy has gone out of her mind and is extremely dangerous her instructions are simply to go back to your rooms and lock the door. I'm not entirely sure but a better suggestion would have been, Sandy has gone nuts, we have to go and find her, everyone get together in pairs and make your way to the command room. That way we may be able to organize a search for the dangerous lunatic. Again, just my suggestion. This is written so badly for scientists they're all ignorant morons if they couldn't see this happening and did nothing plausible to prevent it. Seriously, four or five guys can't take down one pregnant female? Really!?
The 12 Disasters of Christmas (2012)
Yep, disaster, that's a good name
This one stank worse than the bathrooms in the Superdome during Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. Just have a few questions here and yes, there are spoilers with them so, let's get started.
Question 1 as the Mayan culture died out in South America would it not be impossible for both The of that culture's bloodline and all of the Rings to wind up in the same location, in North America? What are the odds of that happening? Question 2, on the mountain why did the steam dissolve Mr. Kane however Jaycee and her father had been hit by numerous steam eruptions and came through completely unscathed? Perhaps they had Nomex underwear. Question 3 with the laser-guided stalagmites why is it that no one in this town appears bright enough to get inside? Question 4 when Mary was summoned by the sheriff to the accident site on the road, no other passerbyers, no cops, no other anybody was present at the accident. There should have been someone there who made the phone call to 911 but likely they had something else to do. And in that regard, why did Mary not even check on the other victim in the overturned vehicle? Is it possible that it was that second person in the other car who made the phone call and was just in such a hurry they decided to walk into town? Or could it have been the man in the grassy knoll with the rifle? Question 5, how did this Mayan civilization thousands of years ago hide a ring in a mine that did not exist or would not exist for a thousand years? I'm guessing these guys were good! And Question Number 6 (my personal favorite) is how in perdition's flames did Kane, Mary, Jaycee, and everybody else involved in this fiasco in between make it through the impenetrable barrier of cursed Mayan energy to get to the mine, Grant's cabin, the mountain trail, the ranger station, the Christmas Farm and find the Rings? All of these locales we're outside of the town, you know that place with the impenetrable Death Dome that's sealed everyone inside?
Seriously, who writes this stuff?? Did they have a day off from KinderCare and did it in between recess and lunch period? It's like they're not even trying anymore.
Rush Hour (2016)
Oh my God!! You can't be serious!
The rating of 3 is given only because Wendy Malick who I adore is in this series. I did not see the pilot, and these comments are only about the 3rd episode. There are spoilers here, incredible spoilers but it concerns plot holes big enough to drive a 747 sideways through. I can imagine the writers have to fill 47 minutes and I cannot imagine how difficult that is but my God! Again, these are plot holes so if you have not seen it look away now, or you can watch it and then look away. The episode "Captain Coles Playlist" contains the following snags.
Number 1 murals are generally drawn at street level where people can actually see them not on rooftops. Taggers think of their work as art to be seen and appreciate it. Not a whole lot of people can do that on a rooftop.
Number 2 during a full-on gun battle at the zoo, seven shots were fired not a single soul gets hit. Both the bad guys and the police need serious time at a gun range. Additionally since the bad guys hadn't actually seen the face of the tagger, why did they automatically assume the guy they're chasing is the one they were after?
Number 3, Lee doesn't carry a weapon and is expected to go up against armed aggressors? I know this happened all the time in Walker Texas Ranger but ordinarily if a guy has a gun and you're a police officer you pull out your gun, routinely done by the LAPD all the time. Ordinarily when you have armed bad guys you don't want to beat them up, you pull out your weapon tell him to drop it if they don't do that you shoot them.
Number 4, the understanding that a package of "chew sticks" leads Carter to the house he lived in as a kid as the taggers residence. Unless this house mother is the source who manufactures these chew sticks herself how does the detective conclude that those two things connected?
Number 5, ordinarily when a person dies in a body of water there's usually water in the lungs. The murdered asst district attorney was killed in his home. There was absolutely no autopsy done? Had there been one it would have would have come out immediately that there was no water in the lungs, therefore one could have seen at that point murder instead of assuming loudly it was suicide. It would have been more plausible to make it look like he committed suicide possibly leaving a gun in his hand with a hole in his head. But since he was hit in the face with a rod that wouldn't even come close 2 blunt force sustained in hitting a body of water in his car, a car that has airbags, this was the best they could do? Primo's of his death wouldn't have fooled even the Keystone Cops.
Number 6, upon the recognition between the district attorney and the witness, the witness could have easily said to any of the fifteen officers working around him "Hey that's the guy who was in the room when the man was killed". But the writers still had 11 full minutes of the show to fill. Therefore there is the elaborate showdown where the witness goes back home where the killers would find him ending his life and everyone else around him. This kid is written really stupidly.
Number 7, backed up files on computer are left on the hard drive, not reproduced as more paper files. That would completely defeat the purpose of using computers to backup files. It's supposed to save space, paper, and time when you're trying to research a particular subject in the file.
And number 8, the final battle at the house. All of the bad guys are focused on shooting this one boy yet leave witnesses to the crime everywhere. They have to at that point, leave and try to disappear before more police appear or murder everyone in the house since they have been witnessed trying to murder the tagger. Leaving everyone in the house as a witness in their attempted murder the kid at this point is a futile endeavor.
As mentioned, I haven't seen the first two episodes but from looking at the third I can only imagine if the writing is as lazy as this episode was this series is really not going to last very long. People are entertained only so far by people getting kicked all the time. Then again, I could be wrong, after all Walker Texas Ranger was on for years and that show really sucked.
Dead 7 (2016)
Boy band singers commit atrocities to mankind!
I can appreciate the complexities that go into making movies, it's not an easy thing to do however, there are so many things wrong with this movie, how do I count the ways. The acting, horrible. The writing, atrocious. The plot, ever-changing, but never for the better. Still, it had its good points. I particularly enjoyed the part where it ended. Not so much the scripted ending, just that the movie actually ends. I watched it hoping that it would get good at some point, even blending in the usual "norms" of movies of this genre. That never happened. It was bad from the start, it was worse during the run and while watching it one prayed for the ending or their own demise. The story is by Nick Carter, former boy band singer with a few other notables from other boy bands, I'm truly shocked that the editor while viewing the dailies didn't commit suicide. Then again, I don't know that they hadn't. Many other things that made no sense was the fact that the town was either dirt with dilapidated shacks or modern city with paved streets to include a modern bar with electric lighting, drinks and all the amenities including a pool table. Also of note, it took the heroes two days to get to the mountaintop with a horse, motorcycle, and jeep at the end it took them minutes to get back with a mixture of horseback and on foot, a journey which would have taken the slow-moving zombies a week to make. They put the bad guy, also known as Johnny Vermillion, in jail without searching him as well as no one guarding the prisoner at the jail as to hear a guy with a sledgehammer beating on the wall outside of the jail. Come to think of it, why didn't the bad guy just go through the front door as nobody seemed to be on guard duty? Also, think very highly of actress Debra Wilson. Although I've only seen her in comedies like Mad TV this role was not good. It looked as if she lost a bet and the acting was so over the top unfortunately it came across as ludicrous. The plot of Wilson's character as the leader of the zombie horde was to wipe out the town of Harpers Junction. Question, why? It's a hole in the ground. Nothing more. It looks as if time had already destroyed it. In the lair of the Zombie Queen the heroes seemingly had manage to get separated from one another making it easy for their characters to get picked off. Two of the primary characters carried swords and what looks like cycles. Seriously, these are slow moving zombies. Really, how hard could it be to wipe out the majority of these slow-moving creatures on their by decapitating them. But the epitome of stupidity is as they're within a stone's throw of the bad guys hideout when they're sneaking up to there buildings, they're shouting to one another. Seriously?! Seriously?? This is the time when one should talk in whispers or just simply just shut the hell up. Additionally, when the situation exists of a known zombie horde on the loose why is a town full of people completely unarmed. Seems a little strange when there's a zombie apocalypse and absolutely no one in an entire town has any way to defend themselves. This movie was beyond bad but, on the good side the movie ended. Movies like this reminds you just how nice it would have been to be lucky enough to choke on your own popcorn so at least some of the audience will experience a happy ending. Seriously, this was really bad. Really really really bad! So bad, so so very bad.