choppyno Reviews

The Island of the Fishmen (1979)

Don't Judge A Film By It's Cover

[7/10 · 4 August 2005]

This movie surprised me. The box is misleading, the tagline is misleading and the costumes and tone of the film are misleading. The movie is quite gory, well-acted and beautifully shot. The special-effects are top-notch and seem to be ahead of their time, until you realize this movie came out in 1979, not in 1963 like it's tone would suggest. It is a unique take on the Dr. Moreau story, and one of the better versions filmed. The first fifteen minutes are the highlight and the most shocking, but the film doesn't ever really fall apart. Definitely worth-seeing if you are a fan of dramatic costume/horror classics and gore-fests.

Maniac (1980)

Top of the Food Chain

[9/10 · 28 July 2005]

An absolute stunner. Spinell hand-crafted this first-person account of a berserk damage-case prowling for women to abuse. No one chases him, he is never in any danger of being caught, thus leaving him trapped in his dementia but confident that he will complete his mission. Unbelievably gory and artfully disturbing with some obvious low-budget drawbacks, but it plays much more serious and believable than it may have possibly intended to be. Spinell never got the mainstream attention he deserved, though he broke into a number of big pictures (Rocky, Taxi Driver, Godfather II), he was possibly too much of a distracting force on camera. He puts his all into this personal project that he created the story for and gave himself one of his few starring roles in. Spinell rages and quivers straight through this one, so sweaty that you swear you can smell him as victim after victim are BRUTALLY murdered in continuously original ways. Uncomfortably bizarre and bloody, you've never seen an 80's slasher quite like it. Scores have tried to imitate it, ripping it off easily as few have seen or heard of this one. Tom Savini's astonishing make-up FX are more startling when they scream up at you out of a no-budget acid-trip like this , and his cameo is absolutely unforgettable. A small blood-soaked masterpiece of psychosis, murder and sexual exploitation.

Bloody Birthday (1981)

Kids Slay The Darndest Things

[7/10 · 28 July 2005]

An absolute classic of 80's scare flix. This one isn't like any other as it pits pint-size, wild-eyed, psychotic youngsters with an urge to kill against all the grown-ups in town. Bud from JUST ONE OF THE GUYS (80's gold again) plays one of the killer-kids and he's paired up with one of the little girls Jake Blues tries to purchase in the BLUES BROTHERS. There is a third blond boy, but he keeps disappearing from the movie for whatever reason. The violence is hilarious at times and also surprisingly gruesome in spots. The demonic gang of smiling kids, though somehow possessed by extra-planetary means, bear little resemblance to the droid-ish Children of the Damned, who never thought to use pistols, crossbows and shovels to kill those pesky adults. Julie Brown (not Downtown Julie Brown-the other one) shows her rack, like three times, as she dances around in her bedroom. This movie is a rarity that I cannot believe I missed growing up in the 80's. This would have been my absolute favorite movie as a kid if I had seen it. Where is the sequel the ending begs for? This movie is just incredible. Seek it out at all costs.

Fright Night Part 2 (1988)

Equal Sequel

[27 July 2005]

Charlie and Peter return to slay ferocious 80's bloodsuckers that still walk the earth after the duo's first crusade in 1985. This casting of original players is vital to the movie's success. 3 years later, Charlie has convinced himself that the events of the 1st film never happened except in his mind. Slowly things around him begin to suggest that maybe he wasn't crazy for thinking that vampires are real. Great acting from a script that holds the tone of the first film perfectly. Sadly, no Chris Sarandon in this outing, but a great job by Brian Thompson of Stallone's COBRA fame, in a small supporting role. All in all equal to Fright Night and a perfect example of big-budget 80's horror.

The Dead Pit (1989)

Dead Pit = Dead Solid

[8/10 · 27 July 2005]

Brett Leonard (Lawnmower Man, Hideaway) gives us in his directorial debut a pastiche of De Moro's HELLHOLE and Fulci's CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD, and it holds it's own with those two heavy-weights from opposite poles of the extreme-film spectrum. This movie has raving mental patients, psychotic doctors, people being buried alive, ritual murders in boiler rooms, flesh-hungry zombies, high-quality gore effects, and hot women. Very atmospheric for taking place in a clichéd setting = a mental asylum. Probably the creepiest one caught on film. There are dead bodies all over this movie. Amazing dialog like this doesn't hurt either: -"My God! You're a Doctor! You're supposed to be saving lives!" -"I've done life. Now I'm doing death." Not a disappointment for zombie fans looking for something different, or slasher fans doing the same. Solid. A must see.

Lucifer (1987)

Worth a Look

[4/10 · 27 July 2005]

Goodnight God Bless was much better than I expected after seeing the preview that appears before the film on the VHS version. The movie does have quite an intense and shocking (if not bloody) opening sequence. This is a decent mix of religious horror, cop drama and straight-up slasher 80's films with an original premise and some believable acting from unfamiliar faces, namely Emma Sutton in the lead role. A maniac is murdering people and witnesses claim its a priest. Some genuine suspense, not much gore or skin, but entertaining. If you enjoyed Maniac Cop or God Told Me To then check it out. Not the best of B-Movies but worth a look.

Blue Monkey (1987)

A Puzzling Gem

[6/10 · 21 July 2005]

I've seen this movie so many times that I am on my second VHS copy. As I am writing this I am burning it onto DVD, because I'm not sure it's even available in that format. Well...It should be! If you like campy horror/sci-fi movies then you'll love this puzzling gem. And for the love of Pete, it's got Steve Railsback(X-Files, Lifeforce, Helter Skelter, Devils Rejects)!!! This is a movie about a quarantined hospital under attack from a ravaging bacterial disease outbreak, and worse. No, not a blue monkey. Worse.

OK, so I had to finish the movie and stop writing for a few minutes. This movie is great for a lot of reasons that come up around midnight. Don't expect to be scared, though there is some great bloody gore. If you like The Terror Within, or Dead Pit or stuff like that, you'll love it. If you think any movie with an alien since the release of Alien is a rip-off of Alien, then go rent Alien.