Change Your Image
leejoseth
Reviews
Next in Fashion (2020)
YOU ARE FABULOUS DARLING
Really liked the first season, but season 2...
The main problem is the presenters ...there isn't any chemistry, Gigi is just very bland, there isn't any warmth to her at all, she's not funny or witty she does floats round in various outfits.
Tan tries to be funny, well I think he is with that dress sense, he wears the most awful clothes it's like he's raided Joan Collins wardrobe.
The main problem seems to be the challenges the "designers" are given.
These challenges don't give us a chance to see their design ideas, because they are the most ridiculous challenges ever.
"Today we want you to make a dress out of cement and tarmac" it's that bad.
They should be given a fun challenge then asked to do an evening look, a day look a fuller figure look etc so we get to see their clothes.
But the outfits they eventually make are the most ugly clothes you could ever witness on a runway
Like something school 6th formers would show at end of year "fashion show".
Everything looks unfinished, with thread's hanging off. Just messy yet they are praised by the judges.
Surely they need to be able to frigging sew to go on this show!
And who would want to wear these horrors, just the most ugly creations ever, just ugly ugly clothes!
The rule here seems to be ...make it street & make it oversized and Tan & Gigi will love you!
Or better....patch work ...who doesn't love denim patch work flares....
Back to Tans horrible dress sense ...he really needs stop dressing like he's a rich old woman from the capital.. where's Katniss when you need her!
The Lair (2022)
Carry on up resident evil
This is one of the most entertaining films I've seen in ages.
But for all the wrong reasons.
Treat this as a comedy and you're away.
It's absolutely hilarious. Really one of the best laughs I've had in a long time.
It's like the carry on team does resident evil in Afghanistan...
So many things are really bad with this movie but nothing comes close to the lead actress.....she's absolutely dreadful.. she really can't act ...she's really really awful, like a cockney resident evil Alice
They even stick her in brown leather jacket at one point.
All the other soldiers are in full uniform yet she's mincing about in a vest
At best she's EastEnders material....think in tabard working in laundrette.
But she's not the only crap actor here, everyone gets a their chance to shine.
The script is absolutely dire.
The monsters are just naff, all rubber suits with bendy fingers
Please watch this movie ...with your mates a few beers ...you will laugh
can't say no more.
Stuck (2022)
Dull & duller
It's a middle class couple living in messy shabby chic home working in advertising and doing meditating...not much else to say about it.
Dylan Moran is his usual dry almost depressive self.
He plays the same weary character he's so good at, making sarcastic comments about happy hip waiters etc
Morgana Robinson tries, she makes you almost smile she's got the effected voice and boho London look off to a tee.
The other characters aren't Worth mentioning because I can't actually remember them.
It's got that motherland feel to it, same dreary London streets. & pretentious cafes but unlike motherland it's just not funny, there's no laugh out loud moments not even a chuckle it all feels a bit dull.
Hall (2020)
Like watching CCTV...
A frustratingly slow movie,
3 people laying on a hotel hall carpet. One of them crawls along for about 60 minutes thats about it. Nothing happens. You keep waiting thinking something will happen soon...but no.
Breach (2020)
A new low for Netflix
It looks really cheap, the beginning was dire...
I've seen better effects on drag race.
I can't really comment on the acting because I only managed 10 minutes. Think horror channel on a Tuesday probably 1am.
The Bay of Silence (2020)
Absolutely awful
I lasted 20 minutes and believe me that was an endurance. Nothing makes sense, no acts like these weird creepy people. Probably one of the worst films I've half seen. Avoid
Semi-Detached (2019)
Dire
It's dreadful. It's a right farce, every character is awful everyone shouts everyone runs about people pop out of bushes.
It's all very amateur.
Poor Lee Mack looks like a knackered Rough sleeper.
You'd probably have more fun putting a brick in a tumble dryer & listen to it clanging about then watching this garbage.
Stargirl (2020)
Nothing new here
I'd avoided this because of the name but after reading the positive reviews I gave it a go.
It follows the usual story we see in every series/film new kid trying to fit in.
Star girl/Courtney is pretty but dim, it's hard to actually like her she's constantly rude to her stepfather who seems fairly nice and goes against every bit of advice.
Can't help but think if they'd given her some depth this show would work.
But she's just annoying.
Her stepbrother is worse he's really annoying it's like someone told him he's playing Seinfeld, like some creepy mini adult.
It's the usual characters at school the jocks the mean girls the nerds. The mean girls are the worst, Cindy looks about 40, two idiots wearing crap clothes with crap hair and somehow they are popular....???
She recruits...various misfits from school but they are also one dimensional characters. You can predict the story, it's nothing we haven't seen before.
The writers must hate teenagers or not have any kids because no one talks like this lot.
Sex education as better developed characters
And Buffy is over 20yrs old & knocks this dead.
I'll probably give it a couple more episodes then let it drift off...
Snowpiercer (2020)
Slow
Watched the first episode, but it was a effort not to turn it off.
Boring. Can't really offer anything more.
Fantasy Island (2020)
Yawn
You know within the first 5 minutes it's gonna be dreadful. So it's my own fault for sitting through it.
Annoying crappy actors you hope will die a horrible death.
It's like a cheap day time movie.
Poor acting no plot cheap special effects.
By the end you are left wondering what was that all about.
But special mention must go to Michael Peña who walks round with his hands in his pockets & a blank expression on his face the whole time.
I actually thought he'd be revealed to be a robot but no just another crap actor.
Good Boys (2019)
Just awful
Only managed 15 minutes. Just feels forced & it's uncomfortable to watch. Not sure who it's aimed at, too much swearing for kids, too childish for adults.
Locke & Key (2020)
Frustrating
It starts with Hill house vibe but it never really goes anywhere, not really sure the point of the keys in fact the kids seems quite bored with them.
Don't think I've ever watched something where every character is so clueless.
But the main two siblings take the trophy.. selfish idiotic stupid annoying..Particularly Kinsey I hated her I kept thinking maybe she'll eventually develop but no she remained extremely mean & stupid with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
The mother wanders round like she's got dementia leaving her young son in a large new house while she goes shopping or out at night this is after their father was murdered...absolutely bizarre behavior.
Everyone makes stupid decisions over & over & over. To the point you hope they get killed just to end their stupidity.
The writers and director should be fired.
McDonald & Dodds (2020)
Wooden
It's the opposites crime fighting due we've seen numerous times.
It's fairly gentle, think Rosemary and thyme.
Black Street wise cop paired with bumbling old weirdo who's actually a genius.
Main problem for me the female lead-McDonald is dreadful, wooden, extremely unlikable & she's also thick, she's like a one dimensional Catherine Tate character, coming out with stuff like "LOL".
The Police chief is also really wooden and unpleasant.
Dobbs- Jason Watkins is fairly decent though but no one really gets to shine.
Plot is the usual nonsense lots of red herrings till the big reveal and everyone then sings like a Canary.
I can't help but think if they'd made McDonald more likable & witty it could have worked but she's just horrible sneering idiot.
Star Trek: Picard (2020)
Slow & Borging
TNG passed me by but I loved Voyager & equally love Discovery (sorry).
So I was really looking forward to this, the Borg & seven of nine were back!!
actually they aren't. 4 episodes in and not very much has happened.
There's lots of backstory & flashbacks, there's lots of talking, it's very wordy and at times confusing, in fact they could actually be discussing a recipe for baked Alaska and I'd be none the wiser because I've start to drifted.
We have some sort of blade runner story, a secret Romulan conspiracy which everyone knows about.
And we know the Romulans are baddies because they wear black gear. The Federation is controlled by women. The Borg are dormant. And the only friends Picards got are Irish Romulans?
These 4 episodes could have been wrapped up in 20 minutes.
And each episode follows the same routine..lots of talking, new location..lots of talking..a bit of action towards the end of a episode.
But finally seven of Nine shows up.
Myhusband said it might start picking up now and that's the problem for me I'm waiting for it to start get going. But after the preview of episode 5 I'll be waiting a bit longer, Picard & crew dress in drag to visit free cloud cue lots of laughter, my heart sank when I saw this. Please wake the Borg up to save this show.
The Witcher (2019)
A hairy Xena
I don't understand the huge 10/10 for this. It feels cheap and the acting is poor. Even Henry starts to grate after a few episodes his constant puzzled look & eh get annoying and I can't understand his infatuation with Yennefer she's such a boring character I'm sick of seeing her and Who would have thought a orgy could look so boring.
The modern campy dialogue is off putting.
The story is all over the place, like they've chopped chunks out during editing.
It feels very 90s, Like Xena or charmed.
There isn't really any characters to rooting for. After 4 episodes I'm was getting frustrated by it.
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (2017)
What happened?
Enjoyed 1st & 2nd series, struggled with the 3rd. I managed 3 episodes and given up.
Miriam's starting to grate she's an extremely selfish character, she's grown very unlikable, not a good mother or friend to anyone, her act just isn't funny a bit of observation & swearing that's it. Would a female comic swearing really make it big in the 1950s there isn't one joke or gag in her act.
Her parents are totally different characters from season 1. her mother returning to the old family home lots of servants fanning her, what the hell was that about?
Her father with the beatniks was just annoying.
There is still too much Joe, I literally had to stop myself pushing the forward button when he appears but I did fast forward those awful Shy Baldwin songs that seemed to go on forever.
it's all a bit French farce now lots of running in to a room shouting & dashing back out, everyone shouts and over acts. It's a shame because you can see it's a loved show and beautifully made.
Prospect (2018)
Low budget
I read the positive reviews so was looking forward to watching it. It's very low budget the space shuttle looks something high school kids could knock up. The planet is basically a just Forest, nothing Alien about it. They wear space suits to breathe yet can live in tents. And the space suits look really cheap. The acting is ok. But the story doesn't seem fully formed why are they there, who are the bounty hunters what is the alien queen(we don't see her), nothing is explained if the stones are so precious why did they leave them behind. In the end I felt I'd wasted a hour on nothing.
Tales of the City (2019)
Dull
I watched the first episode, but it was a struggle mainly because it was really really boring. Mary Ann returns and one thing is obvious, she can't walk in heels, at the party she wobbling round like she had stilts on.
Every PC box is ticked, in bold maker but one Minority group is missed, the gingers not one to be seen. And we have Ellen Page playing the same miserable angst ridden character she always plays I almost expected her to whip out a violin, I can totally understand way Mary Ann dumped her the first time around. But I did like the sound track.
Office Uprising (2018)
Stink stank stonk
After reading the reviews I thought I'd give it a watch. Should have known better. I lasted 20 minutes & fast forwarded some of it. It's got a really bad 90s feel to it.
Poor acting Poor characters all looks really really cheap, the special effects make-up seems to consist of a bit of red eyeliner. It's not fun or clever.
Serenity (2019)
Beautiful empty vessel
Matthew McConaugheys arse is a thing of beauty. That's probably the only good thing I can say about this movie.
It's all just a mess. Nothing makes sense. Did we need the sex scenes. The twist was just bizarre and made the movie absolutely pointless.