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naeandalan
Reviews
War of the Worlds (2005)
close encounter of the dumb kind
Just rented the DVD (thank God I didn't see it in a theatre) and was surprised how brutally awful it was. On the awful scale it was even worse then "Temple of Doom" and "The Terminal", Spielberg's previous low points. It's hard to say when and where he lost his "chops", but old Stevie boy doesn't even try anymore. The first 25 minutes of the movie were really amazing and my wife and I were giving each other high fives over the special effects. From the point they got into the only car working and decide to drive it to Boston, you could just remove your brain for the next hour and a half. Nothing makes any sense. Every encounter they have with other people, or aliens for that matter, is just goofy and inane. In "Jaws", Spielberg had some top notch actors (Roy Schneider, Richard Dreyfus and especially the great Robert Shaw) in a blockbuster where they portray actual living, breathing characters. In this "blockbuster", he has capable actors (Cruise, Fanning,Miranda Otto) and dumb-ass dialogue. I felt sorry for the actors. Their director was missing in action and their performances showed it. Hey Steven, step aside and let a hungry director take on your next project. It won't hurt you to miss a few meals, so to speak. I'm waiting for the day when I'm happily standing in line again and smiling from ear to ear after watching one of your movies.
No Time for Sergeants (1958)
you want some kerosene, you get some kerosene
Andy Griffith does a comedic tour de force in one of the funniest movies ever made. Myron McCormick and Nick Adams(Sgt. and best buddy) also give the performances of their life too. Throw in three of the best character actors on the planet(Murray Hamilton, Don Knotts, and Dub Taylor) and the result is solid gold. I can watch this movie over and over and over. The writing and directing are also top notch. Originally a stage play, it transfered perfectly to the big screen. (not always an easy accomplishment) This movie, like the Wizard of Oz, should play at least once a year where a new audience can discover it. A Classic.
Rollerball (2002)
worst movie ever made? nah, that belongs to Swept Away
I actually feared for my life while watching this movie(?), afraid that people walking out would return later and throw Molotov cocktails at the screen. All the reviews (except one's that say this film had any redeeming qualities) are hilarious and I wish I could make a movie just with the people commenting on this abomination of a movie. I hate to beat a dead horse but the green night vision scene was the worst ever put to film. I swear the sound effects came straight from the Three Stooges catalog(thring, thring as the were breaking through fence after fence) Classic. Poor Jean Reno-I hope at least he got payed well. Actually, anyone who had their name attached to this farce should have been sent to Eastern Europe permanently.
Beetlejuice (1988)
"Lets have some laughs round boy"
And laughs it what you'll have in this comic masterpiece. My golf buddies and I quote this movie 10 to 1 over "Caddyshack" on a weekly basis. Michael Keaton outdoes himself and proves that his "Night Shift" performance wasn't a fluke. Some of his lines had to be improvisation because they're just too weird and wonderful. What can you say about Tim Burton that hasn't already been said? He still delivers the goods in 2005. He'll probably never receive and Oscar because the old cronies that vote probably just don't get him. Maybe in 30 or 35 years they'll give him a lifetime achievement award. All you do is watch his movies over and over again. The best movie award every year goes to a movie you might watch once or twice at most. (I'm rambling). Anyway, the rest of the cast is marvelous (Robert Goulet and Dick Cavett-how did they come up with those two). Winona Ryder tries to "steal" the show (get it) and Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis play their parts spot on. Bravo to all !
Category 7: The End of the World (2005)
oh my God
From the director who brought you "Atomic Train", "A Horse for Danny", "Kenny Rogers as The Gambler"," Kenny Rogers as The Gambler: the Adventure Continues"," Kenny Rogers as The Gambler, Part III The Legend Continues"( my prediction-this director and Kenny Rogers get along swimmingly) comes "Category Seven. (not to be confused with "The magnificent Seven). Trust me folks there is nothing magnificent about this piece of dog crap. Actually I could only stomach about fifteen minutes of it so maybe I'm being a little rough on it. It started out with some sort of storm and a lot of shaky camera work. ( It surpassed "The Blair Witch Project" on the shaky meter). Then followed by shakier acting and a movie that appeared to me to be going back and forth between color and black and white every two seconds. I guess the "director" or "producer" may have wanted the cool "Sin City" look. Whatever.
Swept Away (2002)
Madonna and a deck hand end up "shipwrecked" on a deserted island.
Worst movie ever made. People talk about Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space" being the worst movie of all time. I beg to differ. I never thought I would see a worse movie than "Battlefield Earth". I was wrong. Madonna looks like the character Terrence Stamp portrays in "Pricilla Queen of the Desert" Every word out of her mouth was like hearing finger nails across a chalk board. Guy ( I refuse to call him a director from this day forward ) Ritchie should have changed his name to Alan Smithee in the credits, then went into the witness protection program ( if they have one in England ). Did I say how much I hated this movie ?