novella221 Reviews

Hard Candy (2005)

A lot worse than I expected

[3/10 · 15 September 2006]

I was so eager to watch this film and now after watching it I feel very disappointed to say the least. Firstly the characters are so unconvincing, unnatural and both their voices really did my head in, but I suppose that's a personal opinion. Hayley is an annoying, cocky 14 year old. She has so much front it's just so annoyingly unbelievable. The film is slow, and slightly unclear.

I believe this film could have been so much better. I don't understand why some areas were avoided. I understand it's involving a very sensitive subject but if this is what the film is all about at least give it a bit more dialogue. I was confused because it took me a while to realise that this guy was really a paedophile. Obviously we don't need to see things on screen however why couldn't it be that Hayley found inappropriate pictures etc., it would have given the film a bit more to work with. The cheesy lines at the beginning didn't sound right, they sounded so unnatural and the actors might as well have been reading straight from their scripts.

The 'castration' scene was effective in a punishment sense for a paedophile, however how many 14 year olds do you know could have done such a medical procedure? Yeh maybe it is possible with excess research but it was stupid and once again unbelievable. Her constant concern when carrying it out was a bit odd. This girl was mad but she seemed to have some sanity in there somewhere.

Both characters could have been written better. It's always annoying to see some kid manage to do such great things, like drugging a grown man, then managing to pick him up and tie him in a chair and getting him to stand on a chair while she wraps rope round his neck ready to be hanged, and convincing him to jump off a roof and hang himself. Lets face it he could have easily just chucked her off the roof for being an annoying beatch and done us all a favour. Naturally you shouldn't feel sorry for Jeff but his character on screen doesn't really make you hate him except you know he's a paedophile and at the end realise he had some involvement in some girls murder. More than anything throughout this film I wanted Hyley to get her comeuppance. She was annoying and obnoxious and lets face it she was dangerous and belonged in a mental home herself.

The film failed to highlight the problem of paedophilia, which could have been done effectively but also tactfully. The film doesn't make you feel complete hatred towards Jeff even though what he is. It's just not made clear at all.

This film is rather poor, It's watchable but is slightly boring to begin with. The characters are just not convincing. This film could have been so much better, perhaps more actors were needed instead of just 2 with annoying voices.

Wedding Crashers (2005)

What was all the fuss about?

[3/10 · 13 August 2005]

I was very disappointed with this film. It was hyped WAY too much. Firstly, Vince Vaughn? we all know Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson make the best team and Ben Stiller is by far the funniest. Vince Vaughn looked awkward in this film and just didn't have much presence even if he is about 8ft tall!!!The first half hour of this film is very boring. We know it's a comedy but all the women falling for Vaughn and Wilson-who are they kidding? (They're not exactly Orlando Bloom!). Wilson then starts to fall for a girl who he meets at a wedding he crashed but as always she has a boyfriend who just so happens to be a thoughtless git who doesn't respect her. Well to cut the story short the film gets a bit cheesy. There are a few funny moments but not enough to make it a good film. It's a watchable film but I was expecting to be rolling around the floor in laughter when in fact it only just put a smile on my face on a few occasions. This film just doesn't work very well and Vaughn and Wilson don't show much comedic ability. It just wasn't funny enough!

U2: Zoo TV Live from Sydney (1994)

This live concert made me a U2 fan

[10/10 · 4 August 2005]

I have been a fan of U2 for about 10 years now. I remember watching this concert on video when I was only 9 and being totally blown away by it, which is probably why I still love them now. U2 are an amazing band and this live performance will justify that. Even watching it through a TV screen and not being fortunate to be at this concert (1. I was only 9, 2. It is live in Sydney )is breathtaking. Bono's voice is a sound of perfection. He sounds better than on CD which is a rare thing with singers. My favourite performances are 'Satellite of Love' (with Lou Reed!), 'Bullet the Blue Sky' which merges beautifully (from one extreme to the other) into 'Running to Stand Still' which is quite a dramatic performance. This song is just great and I much prefer to watch the live performance than listen to it on CD. This concert is the best I have ever seen and if you're not a fan of U2, then watching this concert will surely change your mind-it made me a fan! Bono is a great showman and really enjoys what he does, just check out that 'close to tears' look he has when he's staring out at hundreds of thousands of fans, when singing 'Where the Streets Have no Name'. The concert couldn't finish better than with a rendition of Elvis Presley's, 'I Can't Help Falling In Love With You'. Some may criticise them for finishing with a cover but it's beautifully done and always leaves me with a tear in my eye. Bono slowly walks off stage leaving you shocked, teary eyed and so pleased because you have just seen the best live performance ever.

Jack Frost (1997 Video)

This bad film is sure to give you a chill!

[3/10 · 1 August 2005]

This is the crappiest film I have ever seen but in all fairness it's watchable and rather funny. I don't think the film-makers intended it to be your typical Hollywood blockbuster quality. It's just a stupid film about a serial killer who gets doused in a load of toxic waste causing a reaction with him and the snow (as it's the middle of winter). He then turns into a killer snowman which is enough to to make you laugh on it's own. This film is really stupid but it's funny. The killings are hilarious.I wouldn't advise you to go and buy it (like I did -the cover looked good!)but if it happens to be on TV one night and you're up for a laugh then stick it on.

I Want to Marry Ryan Banks (2004 TV Movie)

The Sweetest film!

[8/10 · 30 July 2005]

This film was the sweetest and most easy watching film i've ever seen. I don't think it's a guy film but all those girlie's out there should get watching. The film was a lot better than I anticipated. It started a bit naff, especially when I saw Jason Priestly with long hair and pretending to be no more than 18 years old, when he is clearly in his thirties. But trust me it did get better.

Here in the UK the film is called 'The Reality of Love' but 'I Want to Marry Ryan Banks'is an equally good title, as the film is based around the show of that name-let me explain........

Ryan Banks is famous actor who's career is ready to be written off. Something drastic needs to be done. So loyal friend Todd, and agent to Ryan, thinks of a new reality TV series (I Want to Marry Ryan Banks) where Ryan lives in a house with 15 women, whom he must interact with and share dinner with etc. Every week America votes out those women they don't feel Ryan is bonding with well. The finalist is the one American viewers choose for Ryan to marry. Being a 'ladies man' or should I say, 'womaniser', Ryan isn't really into settling down, but the thought of getting his career back on track and also staying in a house with 15 women, it can only make him the happiest guy.

A certain young lady, named Charlie, catches the eye of Ryan throughout the film but she bonds well with Todd, Ryans agent who works closely with the girls when filming the show.This is where the complications begin because Charlie happens to be Americas favourite to win and marry Ryan Banks much against her wishes with the alternative being to face a million dollar lawsuit. Like all cheesy TV films, there is a happy ending.

This film is predictable but enjoyable. There are a few funny moments which can only make it the sweetest film I have watched recently. It's a film only fit for TV but is still watchable and cute!

Lethal Vows (1999 TV Movie)

Not bad for a TV movie

[8/10 · 30 July 2005]

In all honesty I really liked this film, so much that i've seen it about 6 times. Yes, it's a cheap TV movie but it has good acting and a great storyline which should be as it is a true story. It's a sad, but very interesting story and never does it get boring. John Ritter(RIP) is great at playing the sleazy baddie. Not only is this film interesting but it's sure to teach you a few things about 'selenium' which is the 'killer' in this movie. A good film but I hope no viewers get any ideas in such a discreet way of killing another. Just watch it when it's next on and you will know what i'm going on about. A pure TV movie which I think everyone should watch!

Meet the Parents (2000)

Ben Stiller rules!

[8/10 · 28 July 2005]

This film is SO funny. It follows couple Greg(Stiller) and Pam(Polo) who go and spend a weekend at Pam's parents for her sister's wedding. This also happens to be the first time Greg has met Pams parents, hence the title-'Meet the Parents'. Pam's father isn't the most laid back of people in fact he's rather scary and they couldn't have chosen anyone better to play Jack Byrnes than Robert DeNiro. This is a different role for DeNiro from his other films but you can still see his character hold some of his old roles. Poor Greg is taken on a roller-coaster with only himself to blame. You can't help but feel sorry for him as he seems like an outcast especially when they all go and party at Kevin's mansion (Wilson) who's Pam's ex fiancée-I mean can you actually imagine that happening to you, it's so cruel. Ben Stiller is great in this film and I love his acting. He's great at playing the vulnerable, clumsy guy who only wants to keep everyone happy. I mean this guy was never given a chance even from birth when his parents named him Gaylord'Greg' Focker. This film made him one of my favourite comedy actors. He doesn't need to pull faces, and go OTT like the Jim Carreys of the acting world. Instead you feel as though Stiller is a lot like Gaylord 'Greg' Focker in real life which makes him even more likable. The film is great and full of funny moments and no worries, Greg finally ends up in the 'Circle of Trust'.Poor Greg!

Constantine (2005)

I was confused!

[2/10 · 28 July 2005]

Now I have only seen this film once and maybe I should watch it once more but in all honesty I found it very boring. I found it boring because I found it confusing! Maybe i'm a little dumb but I really got lost with this film. Keanu Reeves does not make such a film exciting either. I can't recall him ever changing his facial expression throughout the film . He looked bored playing the part of Constantine himself. It might've helped if a different actor was the lead role but too late for that now. Yes, in a way I can't review the film because every word said sounded like a different language to me and the story didn't make sense but what I can say on a personal note is that it was boring- I got to a point where I was ready to walk out the cinema before it had ended. I felt as though you needed to do a lot of background reading before watching the film. And can someone tell me what was the point of Gabriel? I hated it and don't have the patience to sit through it again-only if I need a good sleep maybe. In it's favour there were good special effects.

The Others (2001)

Great acting&great storyline!

[9/10 · 28 July 2005]

'The Others' is a film I never get bored of. It is beautifully made. I don't want to give too much of the film away so i'll keep it brief. Basically, Grace (Kidman) is living on her own with her two children , Anne and Nicholas, after her husband went to war. She advertises for some housekeepers who come in the form of Mrs. Mills and co. You can tell there's something not quite right about the housekeeper's and they in their own right are quite scary. There is paranormal activity in the house, and child Anne believes she can communicate with a young boy named Victor. A story unravels throughout the film coming to an amazing, unpredictable and dramatic ending.

The storyline is well thought out. This film is so good and different from you're typical ghost film. The acting of all members of a small cast is brilliant, especially the two children. I was shocked at how good those playing Anne and Nicholas portrayed their characters. The acting skills of such young children is worth to watch for on it's own.If you haven't seen this film yet then make sure it's next on your list!

Open Water (2003)

Different but not great

[4/10 · 28 July 2005]

Open Water isn't a bad film, but neither is it a good one. It is filmed in a 'Blair Witch' or 'home video' style which can get a little annoying. It follows a married couple, Susan and Daniel, on their holidays who decide to go on an scuba diving excursion. While out at sea, other members of the party return to the boat ready to go back to shore. There is a miscount and times get mixed up and so the boat returns to shore leaving Susan and Daniel stranded in the middle of the sea of which they are unaware. It does make you think about how daunting that would be and is sure to put off some viewers from going on such excursions on their holidays. I guess this is where the story ends because as you may guess a shark is sure to come and eat them- I mean there's 2 'pieces of meat' bobbing up and down in shark infested water what else could happen. What get's a little tedious is that every so often Susan or Daniel get bitten but it's not enough to leave you on the edge of your seat, especially when it happens 4 or 5 times. You horribly start hoping a shark will come and swallow them whole instead of taking small bites and keeping the film going on and on with nothing but that. A part of you also wants them to get rescued-basically something different than just floating in the middle of the sea. Unfortunately the film doesn't get anymore exciting. It's quite unclear what happens to Daniel-his body gives up I guess after being gnawed at a few times and he floats off leaving Susan. She suddenly is taken underwater in a slightly dramatic but boring ending.

This film is OK. I can see how it would appeal to a certain audience-those who are not fond of the usual Hollywood blockbuster. The film can get slightly boring and could've done with a little more dialogue but not all bad.

Party Monster (2003)

You're sure not to get addicted to this film

[1/10 · 27 July 2005]

I was particularly curious about this film after reading about it an issue of Kerrang and also reading an article about Michael Alig.After watching it I have to say I was very disappointed. The film makers decided to make a film based on a true story but couldn't they find someone a bit more interesting. The film is about a bunch of drag queens who constantly take drugs and that is about it....oh and there's some random murder at the end. The acting is annoying and the amount of drug taking is more than we need to see. We get the point-they're all junkies!

The film seemed to go on and on but not actually go anywhere. I was bored but stuck with it. I was so bored with the storyline...well what storyline? Apart from lots of make up, sparkly clothes and drugs this film has nothing.

It's a boring and pointless film. I don't feel it has done Culkin or Green any help with their careers.I can only imagine Culkin taking on the role out of desperation after not being in a film since his childhood years, and Green should stick to less eccentric roles because it doesn't suit him.Terrible film......i'm ashamed to say I actually own it!

Shall We Dance? (2004)

No thankyou!

[2/10 · 27 July 2005]

This film is very weak. It has a boring and predictable storyline. Basically a middle aged guy, John Clarke (Gere) travels on a train to and from work and every evening as it passes a dancing school he sees Paulina (Lopez) hopelessly gazing out of the dance hall window. John decides to join the dance class but his intentions are unclear. Firstly you think that John is joining to win over the heart of Paulina with his funky dance moves but then you see him happily married to wife Beverley (Sarandon). His relationship with Paulina is slightly confusing. After (many) dance lessons John and Paulina do a 'steamy' dance together where at any point you're waiting for John to land a smacker on Paulinas' lips. Unfortunately, this moment never does happen because I guess in the films' favour that would be predictable. No, John stays faithful to Beverley but you still feel sorry for Beverley because husband John is out having all this fun and he doesn't tell her a thing! In fact he neglects the poor woman. The film does come to one big happy ending which is always nice.

The film I feel is boring and not half as funny as critics made it out to be and trust me, I do have a sense of humour. To give some hope to any readers, it may appeal to people of an older generation, however, I think even Gere fans will be disappointed.

The Good Girl (2002)

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

[10/10 · 27 July 2005]

First things first it must be stressed that if you're not a fan of Jennifer Aniston this film is sure to change you're opinion. I quite like her myself, but her role in 'The Good Girl' is a far cry from spoilt girl and Ralph Laurent employee Rachael Green in 'Friends'.

In this dark comedy Aniston plays an everyday woman who's only enlightenment is working at the Retail Rodeo. She is unhappy in her marriage to Phil, or just bored. What first surprises you is that Phil isn't a bad guy and in some ways you can't understand why she is unhappy exactly, because apart from smoking weed and hanging out with loser 'Bubba', he treats Justine (Aniston) with love and respect. A mysterious young guy named Holden (Jake Gyllenhaal) catches her eye at work. He is an unhappy and troubled teenager which attracts Justine and she befriends him. This is the beginning of a troublesome few weeks for Justine. They start a steamy affair and Justine gets caught up in a lot of bother, to put it in a nice way. Justine is unfaithful to Phil, but deep down isn't a bad girl, hence the title of the film. The ending is somewhat tragic but also happy.

This film is different and surprising. You go through many emotions watching the film. Its a great movie. Yes its not full of action but the story is so dark and there are a few funny moments. Personally Aniston has gone up in my estimation and her acting in this film is brilliant, possibly because it is so different to her other roles in films like Picture Perfect, Object of my Affection etc. Very good!