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Reviews
Unit Eleven (2020)
Absolutely one of the worst movies I've ever seen
I've seen some tripe in my life, but by God this is so bad. So bad I Implore you to watch it and see how far you get.
Bunch of airsoft mates think they can make a movie. Spoiler.... They can't.
When I'm on my deathbed I'll remember this movie and wish I had that time back that I wasted.
War of the Worlds (2019)
Absolute cats p1ss
Let me get the spoilers out of the way first.
You'll think you'll see aliens early on, you won't. There are robot dogs... And not as even good as the actual robot dogs you see on twitter videos.
Near the end of this boring series you get to see an alien ship. It's made of tiles and steel grates. Zero budget whatsoever.
And then.. Then you see the aliens... And the aliens are HUMANS! Yes... Humans!
Remember when V (original) strung you along in that first episode... And when the aliens appeared you were devastated... Because they looked human?
Well this does this for 8 bleeding episodes.
At least V quickly showed us they were really lizards
One off the worst series ever. They should all be ashamed. If you didn't have the budget to do it properly... Why bother at all?
In between all this is a lot of talking and walking and "character development" you'll just want them all to die.
3022 (2019)
Omar should have stayed with Dr House
He should have, as it is far more interesting than this dull space drama. It's confusing too as it flits back and forth between timelines. I can only image omar thought there'd be some ace special fx around this movie instead of the terrible ps2 style cut scenes instead.
Dull, dull.. With more dull... And a dull ending.
1 out of 6 - cats piss.. But as this site is out of 10, I'll settle for a 3.
Avoid like the plague... Or the leprosy Angus dad has in brave heart.
Trick (2019)
Tricked me into watching til the end
Warning. Contains spoilers.
What a terrible move. First let's get the good stuff out of the way, there's some tremendous deaths, lots of blood and gore. And basically that's what the three stars are for.
Omar epps and some woman I can't be bothered looking up are the worlds most incompetent cops.
A teen goes nuts and kills a load of buddies then becomes indestructible, taking bullets... Taking a Michael myers fall onto concrete. Blah blah seen it all before.
He then comes back on Halloween each year and kills loads of people.. Just once a year. What's he doing the rest of the year? How's he fund his lifestyle? Each time the cops fail to capture him and he somehow manages to run or dodge bullets. He also seemingly manages to teleport.... But.... More on that twist later.
The worst part is the incredible amount of foreshadowing going on. The killer must hope his victims happen to be in the places they are in order to kill them in the most elaborate of ways, well he gets lucky every time. Everything goes to plan. To be fair.. The murders are good... But man you will be tired of the acting and plot way before you get to see the cool stuff.
There's a doctor early on... Who doesn't look like a doc. He looks familiar
. But I couldn't put my finger on it.... Its all apparent at the end.. But you know he has something to do with it.
Anyway.. Let's fast forward to the end.... Our incompetent cops end up getting stabbed... But omar manages to take the mofo out.... Omar can see the guy in question isn't the original suspect.... And then the movie turns to scream with a cut n paste twist.... Only x 10
Thr kicker is there's only loads of killers.. All dressed the same. All different heights, weight, sex. But all dressed the same. Well this explains the teleport action right? Well it would but the same actor plays the killer all the way through... So when you see this bunch all dressed the same but looking so very different you want to throw the remote at the TV.
So... Omar having killed the killer is then repeatedly stabbed about 5 times.. A proper stab and twist... Weird how no one can kill him despite all these stabbings.... Then the original killer turns up... In a wheelchair... See he's been like that since the night of the original murders.
Anyone question him how he got like that? The docs who treated him? Nope?
The cops not check hospitals after the original incident? Nope
So the film looks like it will end with omars death... But no we go back the hospital where the killer works or lives or whatever. The dodgy doc is still about and it appears one of the cops is also a copycat killer. How did this guy recruit so many folk? Never explained. So it's at this point you figure out the dodgy doc is in on it.. And then I realise who it is... Its the guy from scream... He's aged like a fine vinegar. That explains why they've copied the twist from scream. Ahhh it's all apparent now.. But no it didn't make up for the fact this was a terrible movie with terrible acting. Good deaths though hence 3 stars.
By the way, omar is also in another netflix movie called fatal attraction.... Terrible terrible stuff.. Even worse than this. Netflix.. What is happening.... Crap endless documentaries and crap movies. Stop doing stuff yourselves and just buy in the programmes and movies like you used to do.
The Mist (2017)
Quite possibly the worst show I've ever seen
Seen the movie, it was pretty good for a low budget flick. So I had some hope for this.
So first episode starts off OK, a couple of gruesome deaths and hints at the nasty creatures in the mist. From here on in its downhill all the way. Terrible acting, despicable characters whom you will simply want all to die...no redeeming likable characters at all. And inconsistent lore compared to the movie. Terrible visual effects and all round garbage. Planned on quitting after episode 3, but kept giving it the one more episode in the vain hope it redeemed itself having the strong subject matter to fall on.
Nope...utterly total dirge. I'm surprised it's scored so highly on both IMDb and metastatic because this really does deserve the lowest score possible
The Gracefield Incident (2017)
Below average Sci f horror live footage movie
So I'm giving this movie a 3 simply because there's some decent tension and jumpy bits. The acting is definitely some of the worst I've seen, especially from the main actor. The plot is ridiculous... I mean lose an eye in an accident then create your own prosthetic eye with a phone camera inserted into it to justify an angle for the real life footage. The full creature fx are poor, with very poor animation. But the sections with an arm or a hand are quite good at providing jumpy scenes.
And the balloons...the balloons...
Only worth a watch if absolutely nothing else is on