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illmade
Reviews
Ultraviolet (2006)
Not great but not horrible.
Seems like a lot of armchair critics love to hate on this movie, but that's pretty much what armchair critics do, if they didn't come out with hate filled reviews no one would give a F@<# what they said. It was a stylistic graphic novel esque movie in a era of graphic novel esque movies. Was it as good as 300, or Sin City? No, but it wasn't horrible either. It opened in 2006 a time when people still went to the theater, tickets didn't cost a weeks salary and the theaters had to have something to show. It was a Saturday afternoon filler to keep seats filled till the next blockbuster came out. It did its job, it's watchable, the effects are cheesey but it's kind of fun to watch. That's all it needs to be.
They Talk (2021)
OK for a free-bee on tubi
Okay what can you say about a low budget foreign movie, the tries surprisingly hard to pretend that it was filmed in America. Everyone speaks with a European accent, but we have American flags flying everywhere and a Missouri license plate on one of the vehicles. Most of the actors/characters really need to wash their hair and take a bath, it has a dirty, grungy, smoky feel to the entire movie, which really does nothing to enhance the movie, and actually took me out of it a number of times because all I could think of is my God they need to take a shower. The pacing is incredibly slow, nothing unusual for a low budget foreign horror movie. The plot overall is predictable and plodding. Acting is so so, playing bunch of people that you can't understand why they have anything to do with each other, but that's pretty much the norm for modern horror films. It feels low budget, it looks low budget, it is low budget. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing, but it just gets old after a while. Since it's basically a free movie on a free service, there's not a lot to complain about. Would I watch it again? No. Do I regret watching it? Not really. It gave me something to listen to while I was folding clothes.
The Green Knight (2021)
not for todays audience
I hate to say it but this movie is not for todays audience, through no fault of its own. All the poor reviews just go to show how unimaginative and illiterate, the age of block buster, Marvel extravaganzas have made us. Its a shame really, but what can you do. I guess unless a movie pushes some ridiculous ideology or is a mindless spectacle it is beyond the scope of most viewers. Its far from perfect, its overly dark in places, the dialog a bit hard to understand at times, you actually have to watch it to follow whats going on, and possibly the worst sin is you have to think. Worth watching, but as I said not for the vast majority of todays viewers.
Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments: Malec (2016)
didn't think it could get worse
I didn't think it could get worse but boy was I wrong. each episode is a bigger train wreck than the last. Between the bad acting, lack luster directing, dime-store props/sets, and the non-existent plot, there is little to be said for this mess. I watch it from time to time just to see if there has been a turn around because I honestly enjoyed the book, but since these shows have little to do with the books at least it's not ruining that. I've seen High-school productions that have been better crafted in every way. I honestly hope it's not picked up for another season so I will have no reason to check it out anymore. need more lines to say this show is crap I guess ................ the actor who plays Magnus isn't too bad, there I said something nice.
The Last Light (2011)
a nice little ghost story
A nice little ghost story. I can understand the bad reviews here and elsewhere, after all the American viewing audience has been reduced to the level of a twelve year old. If it's not a Marvel extravaganza Blockbuster, or another re-hash of Lucas's 40 year old trilogy , it's just not worth watching. Right? First it is not a American production so don't expect it to be a roller-coaster ride of thrills and effects, second it's low budget again don't expect it to be a roller-coaster ride of thrills and effects, and thirdly the people depicted are not Americans so don't expect them to act, talk or look like they are. The story telling is quite good, the atmosphere is quite good, the acting is quite good over all. If you're a fan of horror from Ireland, Scotland or Wales then you'll probably enjoy it, if you're not then you wont.
Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments (2016)
Just bad and not in a good way
Bad acting, bad script, bad effects, horrible dialog, did I say bad acting? Doesn't follow books at all! Orange hair, orange hair, ORANGE HAIR!!!! constant whining "I have to find my Mom!" The villain's hide out is Chernobyl (seriously!) Need I say more. Where's Buffy when we need her? Movie was OK. Books are pretty entertaining. This is just awful...... Seems this isn't long enough to make a review, not sure why you need ten lines to say something is awful but hey let's try to find something good say...............Actress who play Isabelle knows how to walk in heals. Ummmm, Magnus is OK. Ummm, Clary's hair is a lesson in what color not to dye your hair, actress who plays Isabelle knows how to walk in heals, OK that's the best I can do. Need to change my rating it doesn't deserve one star,it's get's worse with each episode! Keep hoping for better but it just isn't happening.