Change Your Image
jimmehford
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Lists
An error has ocurred. Please try againReviews
The Twilight Zone: The Wunderkind (2019)
You get it?
It's about a child president! Like Trump! Who's like a child! So this is like real life! With the president! Who is a child! Like this child! You get it? I don't think you get it. Let me try to explain it again to you for forty minutes.
Joe Pera Talks with You: Joe Pera Reads You The Church Announcements (2018)
wow
Its me. This whole episode. Its me.
All of this.
Him calling the radio station. Him talking about it. Him showing more people. Him listening to it on loop.
Its me.
All me.
The Upshaws (2021)
im hoping this show gets way more meta
It feels like this show only could work on Netflix, and challenge the status quo that most sitcoms have. Especially about sitcoms with dead beat husbands that constantly gaslight and take advantage of their spouse.
The things he does to his wife would never fly by in real life. So for his wife to have the final straw in the middle of the season, it hits too close to home.
I'm curious to see where this show goes.
Plus, it's legitimately funny lol.
Big Top Pee-wee (1988)
It's just not good
What I love most about Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, The Pee-Wee Herman Show, and Pee-Wee's Playhouse is the fact that the world he lives in is really unrealistic. His hyper, eccentric attitude is matched with how unrealistically realistic the world around him is. Because, as much as I love the character of Pee-Wee, the thought of having him as a neighbor or as a friend sounds annoying and tiring. He's a literal manchild, spoiled brat who makes a scene if things don't go his way. What makes Pee-Wee so funny is how the other characters react to his antics in exaggerated ways.
Pee-Wee's Big Adventure has scenes such as the normal acting "Satan's Helpers Biker Gang", but has a weird after reaction to him dancing to Tequila. It also has scenes of Mickey, the escaped convict, react to Pee-Wee's weird antics by going along with a disguise plan in the middle of a highway checkpoint. These are things that would never happen in real life and it works because Pee-Wee is never annoying to these characters. He makes up for it in the most unrealistic ways he can, and we end up loving him for it.
The reason why I bring up all of what makes Pee-Wee enjoyable in other movies is because it never worked here. Pee-Wee lives on a farm, away from suburban townsfolk, and has a fiancee that loves him. There is a scene in the movie where Pee-Wee literally harasses and causes a scene because he wants a pickle from a busy storekeeper. He literally cheats on his fiancee with another woman and sees no wrong in what he did. Even the circus people he meets are nowhere close to being as weird or interesting as Pee-Wee, and end up being more normal than he is, which makes the movie set in a realistic world where Pee-Wee is not an enjoyable person to be around.
The romance subplot just feels so out of place for a Pee-Wee story. It was funny for Dottie to be in love with Pee-Wee in Big Adventure because he has no interest in girls because he's a literal child. Two women love Pee-Wee and he returns those feelings at the same time, and it's so weird and out of place.
People openly show their annoyance with Pee-Wee, which does not help the audience view Pee-Wee any better. There is a rule in storytelling. If there is an annoying character, make them annoying to everyone else, but never the viewer. What makes Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck so endearing is how unrealistic the rest of their universe is whenever they do annoying things. When there is too much to compare to Pee-Wee's manchild behavior in a real world where I know I would want to avoid him, I can't help but want to stop watching. Almost no one likes him in this movie.
Pee-Wee Herman is supposed to be a static character who never changes in the end of his stories. Of course, he'll learn some moral, but overall, he stays the exact same in the very end. This is shown in Big Advnture, his two Broadway shows, and every episode of Playhouse. Here, it feels way too out of place for him to learn any lesson about his character.
Overall, the film reminds me about how annoying and not entertaining he would be in real life. I don't want to be reminded of that. I want to enjoy his character, not hate it.
The guy literally cheats on his future wife and starts a tantrum over a pickle.
Blair Witch (2016)
The biggest disappointment since my son
You know the whole thing about the first one where we have a set goal, realistic reactions, and a mystery to what the ghost looks like? And an overall suspense of what the ghost can do?
Welp. They show the cockadoodee ghost. Trees are the enemy. The characters are so memorable. It ends the exact same way as the first one, while adding nothing new to the lore.
When it tries to be a story, it's really bland. And when it tries to be scary, it falls flat. Remember when the first movie used two cameras and it helped make it feel more authentic? Welp, let's give them a million. Authenticity doesn't matter when you don't give a crap.
Fantastic Four (2015)
A boring, dull, and uneventful movie.
Whenever I see a bad movie, I like to keep an open mind and try to enjoy it regardless of its critical response. If I can be entertained on my own, I will say to the naysayers, "Screw you then! I'll watch me some Freddy Got Fingered!"
Fant4stic is something I've been wanting to watch for a really long time. I keep hearing it's really bad and I needed to see just how bad it was. And was it as bad as everyone says it is?
yes. its really that bad
Here are the reason why this movie is terrible: (also i cant say spoiler alert because there's literally nothing to spoil) 1) The pacing: The entire movie is just build up, but it never stops the build up. I was forty minutes into the movie and I wondered when it was going to start. They build a portal thing to another dimension, get powers, and out of nowhere, the government is using them as weapons a year after they have powers. It just jumps from nothing happening, to everything happening, to nothing happening again. Nothing happens in this movie. Nothing action packed, nothing exciting, nothing terrifying, just nothing at all.
2) The characters: How can you make Michael B. Jordan so boring? The Human Torch is supposed to be a wise cracking, impetuous member of the team, but in this movie, he ended up being too serious and not funny at all. Reed Richards is just so boring. He has nothing relatable going on with his personality. He is just smart and knows things. That's it about his character. Ben Grimm is just there. Sue Storm is the stereotypical female character that doesn't like fun and wants to do her work. I don't remember anything about any of these characters. Victor Von Doom has the most interesting character in the film, but the film is never consistent with how he is supposed to act. He's supposed to be the evil genius with a plan up his sleeve, but he ended up genuinely becoming friends with his colleagues and just becomes evil out of nowhere.
3) Dr. Doom: He sounds evil. He looks menacing. He acts like he's dangerous. Yet, the film never establishes why he's like this. He becomes evil out of nowhere. They never explain why he's doing the things he's doing. They never explain what kind of powers he has. They never explained why he hated the Fant4stic so much. And they just kill him off in a really anti-climactic battle. They wasted Dr. Doom. They wasted a scary and evil villain to make something that looks like a mannequin.
4) Only one action scene. The final battle.
5) There are actually good things about the movie. This is a problem because I really like how they changed it up. They tried to make the chemistry between everyone real. They tried to explain why the Thing says "It's clobbering time." They try to make the government use them as weapons. They try to make everyone get together to make a giant climactic battle between differences in beliefs. But the thing is, the negative things about the movie immediately contradicts these good things. Everything good is then taken away by a bad decision in the movie that makes the good things bad. The chemistry ended up being forced. The Thing barely says his catchphrase. The government spends a whole year off-screen making them into weapons. The battle was terrible. Absolutely nothing works in this movie.
6) Boring: This is just it. It's so boring. Nothing is happening. The characters do nothing. The movie ends when it just begins. The jokes are lazy. The effects are terrible. The logic makes no sense. And throughout the entire movie, I even forgot I was watching a movie about Marvel's Fantastic Four instead of a crappy sci-fi movie.
Fant4stic is amazing. Never have I seen a movie go from 0 to 100 in terribleness. It is truly an epic fail.
and not even a stan lee cameo
The Other Side of the Door (2016)
wow
i didn't have any expectations for this movie but wow this was complete and utter garbage
there is absolutely nothing good about this movie
the scares are predictable and cheap the mother character is the worst the daughter has the worst actor the setting did nothing to establish the folklore or story the ending was stupid the decisions were stupid the characters are stupid
i just don't know what to say other than just say that everything about this movie is bad
i mean the mom was told to not open the door under any circumstances and what does she do? she just opens the cockadoodie door
i genuinely hate this movie this is one of the worst movies I've ever seen
The Boy (2016)
Not great, but not terrible either.
It tried something new. The ending gave me hope for the horror genre, but I wouldn't say that it's a good movie.
The movie centers around character development, atmosphere, and a plot twist to make it's film stand out.
The character of Greta is shown in the film to be a scared character who is trying to escape from her problems and is dealing with her own issues in an unhealthy manner. The film acknowledges this with exposition that is never in the face of the audience. The film doesn't try to force feed the audience with information just laid out on a silver platter.
She develops more and more as a character as the film goes on, and is given that ultimate test in the ending where she must choose her decision on her own and face the consequences of her actions.
I wish I could say more for the other characters, as everyone just seems bland, one dimensional, and forgettable.
Malcolm is the pretty faced, charming neighbor. Cole is the abusive boyfriend. The couple is just strict and played off as weird. Greta is the only character that actually was well developed.
The cinematography and lighting is beautiful. The set is well made and it really gives the movie a dark and creepy atmosphere. Which is a shame as the scares in the movie are predictable and minimal. The movie serves more as a drama or thriller for how the scares can be.
The ending, without spoiling, threw me off and I had my jaw dropped in the theater. I did not expect this kind of twist and had a blast at the last few minutes of the movie.
However, because of plot twists, it forces the audience to reflect on the entire film and see things through a different light since the movie shows you the truth. And frankly, nothing ends up making sense. A lot of situations feel as though they could have been avoided. Certain creepy elements ended up making no sense, such as wouldn't there have been more noise in such an empty and quiet house?
This movie is not good by any means. The pros of the movie are enough for me to say that it was not "terrible", but it is then overwhelmed with the problems of the film.
I'm giving it a four out of ten for at least trying something new. A plot twist that would make audiences have higher expectations for more horror films. Characters that don't seem so bland and one dimensional. It tried. That's the best I can give it.
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)
Quite literally the worst movie I've ever seen.
I love Spider-Man. I really love Spider-Man. He's my favourite superhero of all time. And to have him in a cluttered, passionless, boring, and anger inducing movie makes me depressed.
This movie is such a giant mess. Subplots are everywhere, villains are lazily written, the decision making in this movie is questionable, logic is thrown out the window, and I forgot that Peter Parker was supposed to be Peter Parker.
Andrew Garfield may have done an okay job as Spider-Man, but he did a terrible job as Peter Parker. When I think of Peter Parker, the last thing I think of is a hipster with attractive looks and angsty emotions with a hot girlfriend.
Sure, the Gwen Stacy and Peter Parker romance comes off as genuine, but is it because the script is forcing us to see how much in love they are or is it because Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield are dating?
Max Dillon. wut why how could they what even Electro, I mean, the Riddler, hates Spider-Man because he's an attention seeking whore.
Dane Dehaan was a great actor for a role like Harry Osborne. I loved his performance in Chronicle as an angsty teenager. However, in here, it felt heavily overacted. Whining, evil for some reason, killing people?
On a related note, the movie never explained the motives of the super villains. In every Spider-Man movie, they clearly explain what the plan was for them being evil or dominant. However, once they reach their goal, what happens next? When Harry and Electro team up, they want to kill Spider-Man, but they never explain why. They never explain what to do next. It's so cluttered.
This movie is just a cluttered mess. The movie jumps from subplots including Peter and Harry being friends, Max becoming Electro, Harry having a disease and being in charge of Oscorp, Peter and Gwen having a problem, Gwen going to college, Aunt May having a job, Rhino being there, Peter's parents and their disappearance, Harry turning into the Green Goblin, the death of a main character, and then two unrelated planes about to crash in the final battle.
There is no time to breathe. There is nothing of substance that is good form this movie. The action scenes are quick and don't mean anything. I know who is going to die. I know who is going to live. It's so boring. Everything is happening at once and I can't help but to not care.
If this review felt like a mess, this movie is worse.
And the worst thing is, everything, every single sub plot, every single cliffhanger left in this movie, every teaser and easter egg, is just build up for a sequel that will never happen. Again, why should I care about what's going on if it doesn't mean anything in the end?
As for a movie with nothing going on while everything is going on, this movie is just really really really not good. I detest this movie. It is personally the worst movie of all time.