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Slam Dunk Ernest (1995)
I can't be too hard on it
First off, I have to say I'm not a real-big ernest fan. I think that's mainly mostly because I'm an adult and I really don't find him much more compelling than any other recurring character in movies made for kids. However, this movie is not that bad. It's a lot better than Ernest in the Army, which I have also reviewed. Ernest is his usual klutzy self and a liability to the team until he gets some magic shoes and , while his antics are definitely still present, he gains the ability to be a great basketball player.
The plot is pretty logical and the ending makes sense. Ernest , true to his character of being a dimwit but having a good heart, decides that winning just isn't worth it if it's going to hurt his friends or the team captain's kid who starts to see Ernest as a role model. There were some funny moments, I didn't want to laugh at Ernest cheerleading the team early in the movie but I couldn't help it. There is some cool basketball action and lots of wire tricks involving a flying Ernest dunking the ball. This movie is not going to set the world on fire but it's decent.
Who's Your Caddy? (2007)
A decent comedy movie
I don't really understand why this movie is rated so poorly. To be honest, I'm not even sure it deserves to be in the bottom 100. I specialize in reviewing comedy movies as a hobby, especially those that have a lot of bad reviews. However, I can't really see why people dislike this one so much.
There are some nice laughs here and there and the music is catchy. There are a lot of celebrity cameos and I think it really does what it sets out to do. By the end I was rooting for C-Note to win the golf game, and he does.My favorite part of this movie was Big Large. Big Large is a great source of funny scenes in this movie and he had some really well-timed toilet humor that came into play when I least expected it.
It doesn't look like it had the budget to be one of those legendary comedy movies but honestly, I think it's worth a try. If you like goofy comedy, hip-hop culture, and golf humor this movie may be for you.
Ernest in the Army (1998)
Maybe For Die-hard Ernest Fans
This movie stunk for me, however to be fair, I'm not a big fan of Ernest movies in general. There was a clever line that made me chuckle a bit about every 30 minutes, give or take. In the end, Ernest takes out the dictator with one of his awful pancakes but there is no explanation as to why his henchman, who is left sitting in the tank beside him, doesn't continue to pursue Ernest. He just turns around and drives away. A similar fate meets the colonel, who turns out to be evil, after he reveals his plan to steal the pluton missile.
A die-hard Ernest fan might like this movie, and it's definitely not bad enough for me to give only 1 star, however, it's appeal is mighty limited. I've heard good things about the other Ernest movies, at least the ones that were not direct-to-video films, so Ernest seems to be a character that a lot of people like. That being said, this is probably not his best performance, but if you just can't get enough of Ernest and his slapstick humor, you might like this one.
Dance Flick (2009)
Surprisingly Decent
I am a B movie reviewer who specializes in "bad" comedy movies. Most of the time, the movies I watch are pretty bad. However, this is one of those cases, in my opinion, that I watched a decent movie. The humor is nothing particularly clever but it did make me laugh and there are some pretty good gags in this movie. The gay guy, I think his name is James, provides some pretty great humor. The whole "Fame" song he does is pretty great. I mean, the jokes are nothing I haven't heard before but just the level they took the joke too was pretty great.
The gag about not kissing in front of "black girls" and then in front of "white guys" at the end is pretty funny. The dance move stunts are surprisingly well done and there is something I really like about Sugarbear or whatever the fat guy's name is. Overall, a decent source of goofball comedy and toilet humor. As is expected, Thomas wins the dance battle and gets the girl at the end. The jokes just keep on coming though. Not every gag made me laugh but one thing I have to say about this movie is that there are tons and tons of gags. This movie probably has as many gags as Airplane.
The Underground Comedy Movie (1999)
No. Just Don't. Trust me.
As of this date and time, this is the worst movie I have ever seen and definitely the worst comedy movie I have ever seen. I have seen all of the "movie" movies. I have seen about 20% of the movies currently on IMDB's bottom 100. I have seen "Movie 43", and, as bad as that movie is, this is kind of a "poor man's version" of that movie. This movie is one of only 3 movies I have ever seen that actually made me angry as I was watching it. This movie has a pretty average run time but it felt like it never ended. The "I hate LA" part sticks out to me as particularly awful. It also contains a punk-rock song that seems to lecture the viewer about misogyny when one of the sketches in this wretched thing is a bag-lady beauty pageant.
I usually try to include some details about the story of a movie I review so that a: the reader knows that I sat through the whole thing and b: to argue my point to the reader about how good or bad I think this movie is. This movie doesn't have a story at all. It is a bunch of terrible sketches that all try, and fail miserably, at making the viewer laugh. This movie is a waste of time, money, and resources. Don't watch it, don't rent it, and do not waste 6 dollars of your money buying it from a flea market like I did.
Theodore Rex (1995)
At least it's not Super Mario Bros.........
When I was going through my reviews the other day I noticed that a lot of them begin with "not that bad". Well, this particular movie IS that bad. I only reviewed this one because Whoopi Goldberg supposedly went to court to get out of acting in it. That is the caliber of movie that I want to review. In this case, I made exceptions for the fact that, a: it's not strictly a comedy, b: it is direct-to-video, and c:it's not particularly well-known.
I will start with the positive aspects of this movie. These are the reasons that I did not give this movie a 1. For starters, I did laugh 3 or 4 times when watching this movie, this makes it markedly better than "Disaster Movie" and "The Underground Comedy Movie." I will warn potential viewers though that some of the laughs were because of how stupid I think the movie is and not because of intentional humor in the movie. Also, this movie has dinosaurs and there's not a lot of content in it that's not kid-friendly. So, I guess I could see a parent watching it with their child. One thing I will say about that though is that there are a lot of movies with dinosaurs in them, made for kids, that are a lot better than this movie. Finally, I give this thing a few points for originality. Is the premise stupid? Absolutely, the premise for this movie is very stupid. However, I can say that I have never heard of another buddy-cop movie where one of the cops is a dinosaur.
Essentially, Teddy Rex gets a chance to be a detective with Whoopi Goldberg's character. They have to work on a case together, Teddy ends up solving the case and exposing his creator as evil and saves the day. Teddy also ends up fulfilling his dream of becoming a detective despite being a dinosaur. How this happens is pretty stupid though. Along the way, Teddy and Goldberg end up going to a dinosaur night club where Teddy falls in love with a dinosaur lounge singer. We also have to content with the "zap-heads" which are annoying creatures of mischief who are never really explained very well. They encounter a Ninja who sells guns after they are threatened by some puppet-creature and his big tough friend who is a caterpillar for crying out loud.
Seriously, I would recommend avoiding this movie if you can. There is nothing really great about it. It is probably a kid's movie but it's kind of a "poor man's" version of a kid's movie, if that makes sense. This movie is stupid, boring, and generally a waste of time. It is, however, better than Super Mario Bros. and it doesn't quite crack the top five in the list of worst movies I have ever seen. I would confidently say, however, that it would be in the top ten.
The Emoji Movie (2017)
Once you get past the obvious....
This movie is a: a shameless money-making ploy for kids with phones and, b: a gigantic corporate advertising vehicle.However, once you get past that, there is actually some fun to be had. Yes, I went easy on it because it's a kid's movie but really, so is "The Master of Disguise" ,and this is leagues better than that.
Gene is actually kind of a compelling character in some ways. James Corden's character provides some pretty good humor for what we're dealing with here. In the end, Gene finds himself, and gets the girl, or at least the girl emoji. This is not before a few colorful and surprisingly interesting scenes. There is even a little bit of fun to be had for adults, probably for parents if they happen to be watching along with their kids. At one point the whole text-world is about to get deleted and a poo emoji starts punching a fan!
Some of it's a little hard to process in terms of relating to human-like emojis but I doubt the movie's target audience will care. The end does kind of contradict the premise of the movie to start with but really, I'm an adult, and I'm overthinking this. If you don't have access to this or don't want to watch it first, take it from me, long story short: it's a decent kid's movie.
The Room (2003)
This movie is like the world's best inside joke
I watched this movie 5 years ago and I still quote it. I still recommend that people watch it even though the ending was spoiled for me by critics on Youtube. There aren't very many movies that are so bad that they're good, as acting has evolved you usually don't find movies with acting as bad as this one in it. This movie, however, delivers. This is one of the funniest bad movies I have ever seen and I don't even drink alcohol. This movie is actually funnier than the Ed Wood movies that I have seen.
The acting is corny at best and bizarrely funny at worst. There are three sex scenes, one in which the music skips. One of my hobbies is reviewing bad movies, I specialize in panned comedy movies actually. I would not recommend very many of the movies that I watch to my friends but I would recommend this one, especially in a group setting.
The sheer ineptness of the plot, script, and especially the acting is staggering. As far as the actual content goes you will find so much weird stuff in this movie. In one scene it shows what three or four people ahead of Johnny (the lead character) orders in a coffee shop. Why? I have no idea and neither will you. There are numerous scenes where Johnny and Mark throw a football back in forth for fun and one has them all in tuxedos! Why? Again, I have no idea and neither will you. The movie can be a bit depressing at times I suppose but the unintentional humor will likely have you laughing so hard that this will matter very little.
This is a one of a kind cinematic experience. Is it a terrible movie? Yes. Should people watch it? Absolutely. Seriously, watch this thing and wonder how it was even made, filmed, and financed. If you watch this with your friends you will likely have a great time with a terrible movie.
Tusk (2014)
B Comedy Gold
This movie is great, I don't know how good it would be if it were spoiled already but wow...how did they even come up with this? Part of it is that walruses happen to be one of my favorite animals although I do not fancy them nearly as much as the movie villain. Justin Long did great work, I almost felt sorry for him over the course of the movie.
At the end of the movie he does kill the villain. I usually spoil movies I review more thoroughly but in this case, I have to let a potential viewer find out on their own. Give this movie 15 minutes of your life and you will not be disappointed. I'm still laughing at this and wondering what kind of feverdream made Kevin Smith think of the premise lol.
Jack and Jill (2011)
Not great but not THAT bad
I find myself in an odd position as I am defending this movie a bit, even though I know it's bad. This is not a great movie but really, 5 razzies? I think they were a bit hard on it. People say that Adam Sandler has lost his ability to make good movies these days but there are redeeming qualities to this movie. The fact that the homeless guy runs away from their dinner is pretty funny, it capitalizes on the whole awkwardness of everything. The "Jill" character actually has some decent character development, for a comedy anyway. The biggest complaint I see with this movie is just that it's stupid but "Billy Madison" and "Happy Gilmore" were both pretty stupid and people love those movies.
I laughed a couple times watching this movie, it wasn't a total drag. I easily remember the ending, which I can say is better than most bad comedy movies. In the end, Jill runs off with Philipe (I don't know how to write the tilde on this keyboard but it's over the "E".) It's a bad movie but I think that it is underrated simply because the hate is so intense for it. Al Pacino's wacky performance is actually kind of charming at times in it's own dumb way.
Anway, is it grea?t No. Is it a bad movie, yes. However, I have seen a lot worse movies. People who think this is the absolute bottom of the barrel should really watch something like "The Underground Comedy Movie" and see if their opinion of it is still the same.
Soul Plane (2004)
Not great, but not horrible
I thought this movie was going to be awful from what I've heard about it. To be honest though, I didn't think it was that terrible. Now, it is true, not only do I watch bad movies as a hobby but I specialize in B-comedy movies, so maybe I've just seen a lot of movies that are worse but really it had some degree of comedy. It has some funny toilet humor but is careful not to overuse it. In the end, the main character lands the plane, although he lands it in Central Park I guess. The humor is low-brow and if you're the type of person who can't stand stereotypes or dumb jokes in general then don't watch it. The part with the co-pilot is decently funny and the acting is alright. It reminds me a lot of the movie, "Who's Your Caddy?" except that that movie is a little better in my opinion. It might be fun to watch in a group setting and laugh at how bad it is. Overall, I understand why it's not well-liked but I think people take their hatred of it a little too far.
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
Not horrendous but definitely not memorable
This movie cracks the bottom 100, at least at the time I'm writing this review, but it's really just very mediocre. I guess if you really love Eddie Murphy's acting you may like it. A few of the gags made me chuckle, and the robot bodyguard was kind of interesting. I did think that the fact that the villain is a clone of Pluto Nash himself was kind of lame but it did make for a few decent jokes. In the end, Pluto Nash saves the day, it has a happy ending which is probably good since I think it may have been marketed as a kid's movie. Nash gets to keep his club and everything is alright in the end. Not a terrible movie but not a laugh-out-loud great comedy, or even a good comedy at that.
Space Mutiny (1988)
I give it a 2 for quality but a 5 for unintentional comedy
This is one of the most unapologetic "Star Wars"/"Battlestar Galactica" rip-offs I have ever seen. This is a bad movie, and no doubt a rip-off but it's not entirely unenjoyable to watch. For one thing, the things that the heroes and villains do, without getting caught on the SAME ship, are mind-boggling. For two, there are car-chase scenes in this movie with the dumbest looking car-type vehicles I have ever seen. Some of the lines are so bad that they're quotable. This is an awful movie, but it's near-perfect viewing for people who love bad movies if that makes sense. Due to the success of "Star Wars" I have a feeling there are probably many movies like this on the bottom 100 but this one doesn't even try to hide it.
From Justin to Kelly (2003)
Why is this movie so painful?
If I could give this turkey a 2.5 I would. It seems like it takes forever. I did laugh, on occasion, but good grief is this one hard to sit through. It's a musical, so people bursting into song and dance is normal, but even those scenes seem really contrived and like the actors are trying way too hard. This movie has a lot of really stupid things in it. The guy with the bleach-blonde hair raps at one point. There is a hovercraft-ball game thing to decide a relationship conflict. Toward the end of the movie, Kelly sings a long duet to nobody for about two minutes, although Justin eventually appears. The scenery of the beaches and swimsuits were about the only redeeming qualities to this film. The last song and dance scene is so pointless. This movie is all kind of pointless. Kelly and Justin sing well, but I can't imagine this being a big thing even back when American Idol was relevant. It kind of reminds me of "Glitter" but somehow it's even more painful.
Date Movie (2006)
I gave up three times before I finished this.....
I bought this movie from a flea market and watched it at home. I watched a few minutes of it and gave up three times before I finished it. Worst of all is, this is probably the BEST of the Seltzer and Friedberg spoofs. I'm not kidding. If you think this is awful you should see 'Disaster Movie". Bad plot lines, things that make no sense (Like the lead getting Liposuction as part of "Pimp My Ride".) , ridiculous names, ugh it goes on and on. I mean I guess you could argue that the "Andy" character provides some sex appeal or something but this movie has very little appeal. However, it wasn't as nonsensical or unfunny as "Meet the Spartans", or "Epic Movie", and it's actually a pretty long way from "Disaster Movie". I think I might have laughed a little at this one, which is more than the others.
Alone in the Dark (2005)
The absolute minimum in terms of character development....
To preface this review, I don't think in-depth character development is mandatory for making a passable movie. "The Expendables" for example, nobody except for film critics watch that series for the plot, but the action is sensational enough to make it a good movie if you like fight scenes. This movie was not like that. Yeah, there was a lot of action but it all played out the same way and the scenes were very similar to each other. I got really tired of just watching stock scenes of people blasting aliens with machine guns over and over and over again. The first couple of times it was alright but I wanted to know more about the characters and they told me practically nothing. I get that they were going for more of an action movie feel but it just bored me and I felt like I'd watched a dull movie without a story at the end. I would give it actually give it about a 2.5 but that rounds up to three I suppose. It's not the worst video game movie I have ever seen though, I will give it that.
Eegah (1962)
The musical numbers....wow!
About 5 years ago I set out on a quest to watch as many bad movies I could stand and this was one of the first ones I saw. The budget is low, and it's a "caveman meets Beverly Hills story", to give you an idea of this movie's quality. However, what makes this flick strictly better than a lot of stuff I have watched since then is that it's so easy to make fun of. There were five or six times that this movie was quite (unintentionally) funny. I've watched comedy movies where I have laughed quite a bit less. What makes this movie so bad, and so funny (at points), are the stupid musical numbers. There are 3 or so of them and they're so bad, oh so very awful. The guy's girlfriend is named "Roxy" and one of the musical numbers is all about a girl named Valerie, what the crap!? If you want to watch a classic bad movie and laugh at one of the corniest flicks in existence, this is it. If you are bored by the rest of the movie just try and stay for the awesomely bad musical numbers.
Glitter (2001)
This is what an "Average" bad movie looks like
It took me two tries to get through this movie. Although it did have redeeming qualities, it was kind of boring. If you're a big Mariah Carey fan, I suppose this would be about a 5 but other than that, in my humble opinion, it falls into that "average-bad" category. I can explain what I mean. I've seen a lot of bad movies, for proof you can read some of my other reviews on this site, which are mostly of Bottom 100 movies. When you have seen as many b-movies as I have, some stand out as being alright, while some are just unbelievably terrible and you can't understand how they were ever made. Glitter is between those two categories. It's got some decent music in it, and things do go on (Unlike Gigli or Ishtar). However, it is kind of underwhelming and boring. What really took this movie down a couple of points for me was a unique volume problem. Mariah Carey's acting is okay, but she speaks her lines very softly. This makes me crank up the volume to hear what she is saying. However, leaving it up came back to haunt me later in the movie as there are scenes that are pretty loud and will blast your ears. In conclusion, this is a dime-a-dozen bad movie. It's not super-painful but it's also not quite good enough to be one of those underrated low-budget movies.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
Very boring but there are some redeeming qualities
This movie is mostly just boring, hence the low rating. However, there are some super lame special effects that make for some unintentional comedy. Basically, martian children are bored and boring. They even need sleep spray to get them to sleep. So the martian council asks some super old guy what to do. The answer...Santa Claus! They don't have one, so they kidnap one! This movie wins points from me because it's such an absurd concept that the fact that it even exists is somewhat novel. You get about what you would expect from this movie. Including (but not limited to) Santa Claus fighting people, lasers, low-budget robots, and one of the worst excuses for a polar bear costume I've ever seen. Seriously, that is one of the most remarkable parts of the movie. Essentially, one of the worst things a movie can be is boring, and man is this movie boring. Almost (not quite) on the level of Gigli. However, humor, however unintentional, saves it from being quite that bad.
Santa with Muscles (1996)
Well it's not the worst Santa Clause Movie...
I consider myself a fan of b-movies. When people tell me a movie is awful, I am really curious about just how awful it is. I have watched lots of awful movies, but one thing I can't figure out is why so many of the worst movies ever made involve Santa Claus. Seriously, there are three just in the bottom 100 on this site right now alone! It's about what you would expect from Hulk Hogan, and there are some decent fighting scenes to take the edge off of the stupidity of the concept you're dealing with when you watch it. Basically, Hulk Hogan is a tough but compassionate guy who dresses up as Santa and kicks butt. Oh, and Ed what'shisname plays one of the least convincing villain roles I've ever seen. Stupid? Absolutely, but it has some good fight scenes to go along with it. At least it's not a boring idea, a bad one yes, but not a boring one.
Zaat (1971)
Unintentionally funny but stupid even by b-movie standards.
This is a bad movie, I think my rating is probably a bit generous because I have watched so many b-movies. However, it has two redeeming qualities. Unintentional humor and the fact that it is one of the weirder weird movies I've ever seen. Essentially, the guy is a disgruntled scientist with a lot of weird lab equipment and free time. The lab is pretty funny, as it has all kinds of arbitrary lab equipment, which, perhaps, looked less low- budget in the seventies when the movie was made. Anyway, the guy has some kind of obsession with trying to turn himself (and perhaps others) into catfish that can walk on land. I'm not kidding, and it gets even weirder... The scientist then goes on a bit of a revenge-killing spree and kills several of the scientists that doubted him on something some many years ago or wouldn't help fund his research, I don't really remember which. Anyway, the guy gets a crush on a blonde woman and decides that he wants to run off with her and form an empire of sea creatures (I'm still not kidding).Does he make it? I won't tell you. However, I will say that the police in this movie are remarkably bad shots.
Gigli (2003)
A movie where nothing happens
I will say this, in terms of celebrities, I do like Jennifer Lopez. However, this movie is really awful. I don't even know where they were going with this or what they were trying to get at. Essentially, they kidnap a guy with a disability under duress from a mobster, and then practically nothing happens. I'm serious. Yes, there is the whole "finger" thing but they can't even make that dynamic. After that it's pretty much just pointless scene after pointless scene until the sex scene between Lopez and Affleck. This movie reminds me of Super Mario Brothers in terms of how much time it wastes doing nothing and being boring. And the end, pretty uneventful. It reminds me of one of the things I've learned as a b-movie watcher. Almost anyone can handle a bad horror or sci-fi movie, but only b-movie warriors should watch bad comedies.
The Creeping Terror (1964)
A Must See, and, yes, I am serious
This is bad cinema at it's absolute finest. I would recommend this film to anyone who likes comically bad movies and to the average person as well. Within, the first 10 minutes of this film, you will see stock footage of a rocket-launch played in reverse used as an alien spacecraft landing, complete with the REWIND-LINE! The monster itself is laughable, it's not quite as stupid-looking as the one in "Robot Monster" but it's pretty close. You will easily be able to distinguish the people under the monster-suit and even their shoes throughout the movie. Probably the best moment for the monster is when it invades a jazz concert and "absorbs" everybody. I won't ruin that for you though. Seriously, this movie is so bad that it's mind-boggling and entertaining to boot. It is a particularly great watch if you are up really late in the night and don't have to worry about waking anybody up with laughter. I cannot give a Z-Movie a 10 but this kind of movie is why there are B-movie fans like me out there. Don't expect to learn anything but if you watch this you will probably have a pretty good laugh in the process.
Ishtar (1987)
A bad movie, but in an unusual way
I remember watching Ishtar on Netflicks. I'd heard some things about it, mostly bad things, so I decided to give it a go because one of my hobbies is watching movies that people hate. Rogers and Clark, the little band from the movie spend a long time in New York or wherever they live before getting to Ishtar. They crank out their little songs and the songs are bad. The songs are supposed to be bad as there are references to the group being awful in the movie. However, the songs are not bad enough to have me laughing at Rogers & Clark. The whole movie is kind of like that. So after what seems like 30 or 40 minutes of backstory and messing around in New York, the guys end up in Ishtar. I was hoping it would get funnier from here on out, and I was sadly mistaken. Through a series of events they end up riding a blind camel out into the desert, and yes, that gag made me chuckle a little. However, that was the only gag that did, in the entire movie. I won't ruin the ending for people reading this. It's not really a good ending but I won't ruin it for anyone.
However, this movie is incredibly unremarkable. It is ridiculously boring. It's not so bad that you want to throw stuff at the screen. However, it's also not so bad that it's good like The Room and movies like that. This movie reminds me of Super Mario Brothers in that it could put coffee to sleep. It's not quite as bad as that one though. If you want to watch it, remember that it has a long run-time and prepare to be bored.
The Master of Disguise (2002)
Uniquely Painful and Amazingly Unwieldy
The Master of Disguise is not the worst movie ever made, but it is very very bad. It is a family/kid's movie so I try not to be really mean because I watched it as an adult. However, there are so many things in this movie that are bad and a lot of them are hard to ignore even then. What is really bad about this movie is it's not "all in" on being a kid's movie nor does it market itself especially well to an adult audience. For instance, jokes about Al Pachino and butt measurements are fine, for adults, but children will not get them. Dana Carvey's lead is almost too simple. For example, he channels the energy needed to impersonate people well by simply chanting, "become another person" or "become someone else", kids will get it, but I think even children would prefer something a little more cryptic and clever. One thing I will say, on the positive is the flatulence gag. As an adult it's not funny but the running gag with the villain laughing himself until flatulence would probably be very funny to a kid. The most confusing thing about this whole movie is the "blooper reel". There are entire sketches in the reel that look as if they put in almost as much effort into as the actual movie, it wasn't very long, why not put them in? I'm serious, this is a short movie that probably has the longest blooper reel in history. In conclusion, this one is painful. However, it's not just boring like "Super Mario Brothers" nor is it a complete waste of time like "Disaster Movie", so I give it a 3.