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Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Vengeance Factor (1989)
Where's the Court Marial?
This episode is little more than a Riker vehicle masquerading as a touching way to show the soft side of Number One.
First off, he shows an interest in Yuta. Why? She's the servant of the head of state of a planet but he is intensely drawn to her. Some type of power move? Likes to be in control? Well of course not because when she attempts to reciprocate his affection he blows her off because she doesn't see him as an equal. Why would she? She's literally a servant and the second in command of a starship is hitting on her.
Secondly, the whole virus plot is completely contrived. Two whole people in the entire history of the planet have died from this virus and based on an extrapolated picture Riker decides Yuta controls the virus and can kill at will with it. This is a stretch past the point of belief. There could be a million reasons. And how did they know it was the same virus that killed the guy 50 years before? Oh because a computer graphic showed a virus attacking some nerves. Then they go on to explain how it can only kill a certain person with specific DNA, so does Riker do the logical thing like tackle her? Or maybe tell the leader to get away? No, he shoots the guard and then shoots the girl three times - all based on a hunch. Think about that. Someone is standing 15 feet from a person who may have a weapon that can kill only one other person in the entire universe and instead of doing literally anything else you resort to shooting them dead.
Why wasn't Riker court-martialed after this? Last I checked killing an unarmed person was a crime. But it's OK because he fell in love or something and cared for her. Uh...they spent a grand total of 15 minutes together 14 of which were him inappropriately staring at her.
There are so many other problems with this episode, like why do the Gatherers so desperately need to come back just to be put into isolation on the planet? What are they, runaway pets? Get back to your cage, Gatherers, we don't want you really but we really don't want you running around enjoying your freedom.
Completely forgettable episode, never should have been made and the actors probably wish it never was.
Meu Passado Me Condena: O Filme (2013)
Lighthearted Brazilian RomCom
The movie begins as Miá and Fábio are waiting in line to get married by a justice of the peace, having known each other for almost no time at all. From there they go straight to their honeymoon, which will take place aboard a cruise liner with an ultimate stop in Italy. The couple have several issues which develop from their quick marriage - namely they don't really know each other very well.
Fábio is a cheapskate who won't do or buy anything on the ship that isn't included in the package (nor will he let Miá) and seems to think it's perfectly acceptable to only wear soccer jerseys to any event. Miá serves mainly as a pretty face to look at and doesn't really bring anything of value to the film, other than to put up with Fábio's BS and advance the plot.
Soon the couple runs into another couple, and it turns out Miá used to date the man, and Fábio had a crush on the woman since childhood. Of course neither are open and honest, so this leads to problems including the man trying to seduce Miá. Two crew members are also introduced, who have a bet about whether or not Miá and Fábio will split up before the cruise is over and both begin meddling in the relationship. Complicating matters further is Fábio's annoying and immature friend Cabeça, who for some reason was invited by Fábio to stay in their cabin to cruise to Italy (without discussing this with Miá beforehand). From there the couple has to try to mend differences and overcome all of the challenges that they've brought upon themselves.
Overall the movie wasn't too bad, but it's full of clichés and if-only-they-just-told-each-other-the-truth moments. It has several very funny scenes, but you'll probably walk away feeling like you've seen this movie before.
Too Many Cooks (2014)
In A Genre All Its Own
"Too Many Cooks" succeeds not because it is funny or weird, but because it creates an experience for the viewer that is completely unique and original. If you haven't watched it yet, find it on YouTube and give it a view...don't look at the time it's going to take, don't read any other reviews - just watch it and you'll understand why it's so hilarious. In some ways it's similar to the Splash Mountain ride at Disneyland. You begin by floating along peacefully in a cartoonish world, then the sudden drop and the whole ride changes.
The ideal audience for "Too Many Cooks" is someone in their mid 30s, as many of the spoofed intros are from shows which aired during the 80s and 90s ("Dallas", "Falcon Crest", "Dynasty", "Full House", "Clarissa Explains It All", and the list goes on). But then halfway through, it completely changes and takes on a life of its own, spoofing something else, the 80s slasher flick. Then it changes again. And again. Eventually you don't know what you're watching, but you know it's good.
Watch it a second or third time and you'll start to notice lots of Easter Eggs (how many times can you spot the killer before he starts slashing?). But be careful though, the theme song is so catchy you just might find yourself humming it for the rest of the day.
Dead Silence (2007)
Worthless
I was going to come up with a clever summary title, but this movie isn't even worth it. Nothing in it makes any sense and the characters are completely unbelievable.
It starts off with a woman at home alone, of course it's a dark and stormy night. There's a mysterious package with a dummy in it. What do you think she does? Naturally she brings it inside and then it begins to come alive, ultimately killing her by ripping out her tongue. Her husband comes home, finds her dead body and then we flash forward to a scene with the police. There's a stereotypical hard-core detective who, for some unknown and inane reason thinks the husband killed her, despite no evidence, no intent, no confession, and a solid alibi.
The husband then goes back to his hometown to bury his wife, meets with his estranged father, gets followed by the detective (who clearly has nothing better to do). A host of other characters are introduced, and they serve no purpose other than to fall victim to the mysterious tongue-ripping killer.
We learn that the killer is actually a former ventriloquist named Mary Shaw, and her dummies may or may not have been possessed by spirits. She has 101 of them. Why so many? The movie doesn't explain and you really only see one of them do anything. Anyway, Mary Shaw was accused of witchcraft or being involved with the disappearance of a kid and is murdered. She then begins to take her revenge out on those who were involved in her death, only she is now a spirit, and can only kill you if you scream. Apparently it is very hard for people to not scream.
So she goes around killing people, the stupid detective follows the even stupider husband around while he tries to solve the mysteries of the dummies and his family's involvement with Mary Shaw.
This is where the movie completely lost me. We learn that a child made fun of Mary Shaw at one of her shows, so she kidnapped and murdered him. This is the same child that the townspeople accused her of kidnapping and murdering and killed her for. Basically, she is taking revenge and murdering innocent people for killing her for killing an innocent child. Not only that, but she can transport anywhere she wants, take any shape she wants, and for no reason whatsoever, has turned people into puppets by killing them and putting a control rod where there spines used to be.
Why send the dummy? Why not just kill the husband right away? Why make this piece of crap movie? Why bother watching it? That one is easy - don't.