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Reviews
The Fog (2005)
The Fog is not as bad as most people say
Having recently rewatched The Fog, I have to admit that I like it more than I did at an earlier time, hence why I changed my rating from 6 to 7. I may change my rating again at a later date.
The film is very intense, rather disturbing, and quite violent. It makes the original 1980 film tame by comparison (which is interesting to think about when you consider that version was rated R while this one is rated PG-13).
Indeed, this version does pay some homage to the 1980 film. As with the earlier film, we have a ship called the Elizabeth Dane with her crew, including Blake as the captain. And, like the earlier film, Blake and the rest of them suffer from leprosy.
More homage to the original film comes with the names of the main characters, although there are some notable differences.
The death sequences are notably more violent in this film compared to those in the 1980 film. Sean's death is particularly disturbing when a knife is shown impacting one of his eyes before he falls dead on the Seagrass.
Andy's aunt (I forgot her name) also has a very disturbing death scene when a ghastly hand comes up from the sink and grabs her arm. Her flesh turns black and she becomes a burned-up skeleton!
The only negative thing I can say is that I don't like the flashbacks to what happened to Blake and his crew on the Elizabeth Dane. I saw it once in the opening scene. Showing it again slows down the film in my opinion.
But, other than that, this was a decent film. I may bump up that 7 rating to an 8, although I still like the 1980 version more.
The Honeymooners (1955)
My Overall Review Of The Series
I don't know if I've seen all 39 episodes, but I do believe I've seen most of them. They are rather funny at times, but a surprising number of them have sad endings. Occasionally, there are sad moments in the middle of an episode or two.
One of the saddest endings, in my opinion, seems to be when Ralph thinks he's going to be a Hollywood star after impressing a theatrical agent in a play similar to Romeo and Juliet...in this case, Frederick (Ralph) and Rachel (Alice). But, when the play owner wants Alice to be the star instead of Ralph, he is, understandably down, even though he gives Alice his blessing.
Another heart-breaking end to an episode is when Ralph's boss, Mr. Marshall, gives Norton the job Ralph can only dream of...a bus driver supervisor. After Ralph yells at Norton, he realizes that he's never going to be anything but a bus driver. He decides to apologize to Norton and congratulate him on his new job.
I could go on and on, but there are several episodes with surprisingly sad moments that make me...a grown man...shed tears. This is rather alarming for a show that's supposed to be a comedy.
Anyway, moving on past the sad scenes, there are quite a few hilarious scenes, as well. Some of the funniest scenes involve Ralph and Alice arguing (with him threatening to send her to the moon) or Ralph throwing people...most often, Norton...out of the apartment. One of my favorite hilarious moments is when Ralph bulges his eyes, livid-style, just before he explodes.
Nobody could replace Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden and do it the way he did it. He was the best Ralph there ever was. The same can be said about Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden, Art Carney as Ed Norton, and Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton. To be honest, I never cared about the original Alice, played by Pert Kelton. Audrey was a much better Alice in my opinion.
It's a shame that there were only 39 episodes. I believe that there could have been more if they could have come up with more ideas at the time. Couldn't they, at least, have a grand finale with their 40th episode? Perhaps, it could have been a compilation of hilarious moments shown during the previous 39 episodes. Maybe, it could have ended like this:
Ralph: "We hope you all enjoyed the show. We all had a lot of fun here on The Honeymooners. The Nortons and the Kramdens would like to wish you all well. Thank you all for the being there for us. May you always have a laugh. Farewell, everyone."
(Applause)
That could have been a fitting end to this classic sitcom.
Empire of the Ants (1977)
Scary, violent, and gory...but a really good film.
After a colony of ants feast on radioactive waste, they grow into the size of us humans...and begin to now feast on some tourists that have been invited to a "paradise" property owned by a scam developer.
The remaining survivors are forced to fend for themselves while trying to escape the giant man-sized ants. Eventually, they find refuge at a nearby town when a seemingly nice sheriff picks them up and takes them to a nice hotel to rest until they can get back home. But, not everything is as seems.
The sheriff and everybody in town has been "brainwashed" into working for the ants, led by the queen ant. Now, the survivors face a new problem. They are threatened to become slaves to the ants unless they can destroy the ants.
This film is extremely violent and gory...especially for one that was given a PG rating. Although this was before the PG-13 rating came into existence, EMPIRE OF THE ANTS is gory enough to warrant an R rating...with or without the existence of the middle rating. How it was rated PG instead of R is quite beyond me.
Charlie's death, in particular, is extremely brutal. His face and the side of his head are very bloody during the attack. And, if you look very carefully, his chest spurts blood for a split-second after the giant ant rips it open with its mandibles.
But, Charlie's death isn't the only gory death. Most of the other victims suffer brutal deaths, as well. The Lawsons and Larry have very violent and brutal deaths.
All-in-all, this is a very good horror film, despite how brutally violent it is. I'm actually surprised that many people expressed dislike or dissatisfaction for the film. Oh, well...each to their own. I enjoyed this 1977 horror film.
Don't let the 6/10 stars fool you into thinking I hate the movie. It's just that I like other movies more.
Planet of Dinosaurs (1977)
It's not Jurassic Park, but it's very good!
Until I saw JP, this film was my favorite dinosaur movie I've seen. I don't get the negative reviews it has. What did people expect for a 1970s film about dinosaurs?
WARNING --- SPOILERS BELOW!!
I enjoyed this movie a lot when I was a kid long before I saw JP. The music was really good...and scary at times. The characters performed fairly well. And, the dinosaurs were really good to see. The large spider scared me as a kid.
The death scenes are quite graphic for a PG film, even for the 1970s, but the most graphic death is that of Harvey. He got impaled by that horned dinosaur that I often mistake for a Styracosaurus. I don't remember its real name, but that's not the point. The point is that Harvey died graphically and bloody. When he lands after falling from the cliff, look closely and you will see his stomach torn open!
Such a gruesome death is even gorier than ANY death from the Jurassic Park/Jurassic World franchise. Planet Of Dinosaurs could---and SHOULD---have easily been rated R! How it got by with only a PG rating, I'll never understand.
I know that the PG-13 rating didn't exist when this film came out, but it easily crosses the line into the R category. While Harvey's death is definitely the worst, the other deaths might be able to pass for a PG rating in the 1970s (and PG-13 today).
Cindy's death is only mildly bloody and it's over very quick. The remaining deaths are the same, pretty much, with one of them (I forget her name) occurring at night. Basically, it's Harvey's death that pushes the film too far, and why I think it should be rated R instead of PG.
I can't believe that people find this film boring, dull, or humorous. I guess they didn't really get into the movie, as I have. I was entertained...scared at times...and grossed out when Harvey was killed. I would hardly call that boring, dull, or humorous.
I may have to change my rating from 6/10 stars to 7/10 stars. I found it better than other dinosaur/monster films before. Only the Jurassic films are, in my opinion, better than this film.
Success! My former rating of 6/10 is now 7/10. That's where I'm keeping it from now on. Okay, my rant and review is over.
Lifeforce (1985)
Creepy, Gory, & Disturbing
I saw "Lifeforce" in its entirety only ONCE! I found it very creepy, gory, and quite disturbing, to say the least. I won't give away any spoilers, but it's not for the faint of heart. Some scenes are really unsettling. If you haven't seen it yet, be warned that it has an R rating for a good reason.
Halloween (1978)
Doesn't deserve an R rating...
Like "The Fog" released two years after, "Halloween" is very tame for the Restricted rating. It has some really good scares and a few jump moments, but violence and gore are very limited for a horror film. There are more graphic movies released during the same era that are passed with PG ratings ("Jaws", anyone?), so it makes no sense for this film (not to mention "The Fog") to be stamped with an R rating. Why can't these two R rated movies be rated PG with the disclaimer: "May be too INTENSE for children"? That's the disclaimer "Jaws" had and, as I said, it was more graphic than either "Halloween" and "The Fog".
Naked Attraction (2016)
It's...okay...
I've only seen a few episodes of this show at this point, thanks mostly to YouTube, but I have one really big problem about it. I feel that eliminating five out of six potential partners based on physical appearances is really unfair for those that get eliminated. They're being judged on their outside appearances and not for their personalities. As such, most of those who get sent home are often the best ones for a date.
If I was on this show, I would want to take each of the six...one at a time...so I could get to know them and their personalities. That way, I could decide which one is a keeper based on who they really are and not what they look like on the outside.
Rated 6/10
Snoopy Come Home (1972)
This is the SADDEST of the Peanuts specials!
And, I thought that scene in "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" was sad. I'm referring to the scene where Schroder keeps switching tunes and making Snoopy change from being cheerful to crying. That doesn't hold a candle to how sad "Snoopy Come Home" is.
Although it's not sad all the way through, the sad parts are extremely dramatic. For me, the saddest parts are during Snoopy's farewell party (except when Snoopy opens up all the presents to reveal many bones) and the extremely dramatic song we hear Charlie Brown sing in a voiceover. It's especially sad when Charlie Brown pours himself a bowl of cereal, but is too sad to even eat it. It really is impossible to watch without shedding some tears.
Anyone with dry eyes after watching this movie must have no emotion at all. I haven't seen this film in many years, but I just watched it very recently on YouTube and it brought back all the same emotions as when I last watched it years ago. While a few scenes are happy...and, dare I say, comical...the intensely sad scenes more than make up for them. Even at the end when Snoopy finally comes home, I can't help but shed tears because of how sad this movie has been just 5 minutes earlier. I can't cheer up THAT quickly.
Jaws 2 (1978)
JAWS 2 is the best of the three sequels!
Sure, it can't top the original 1975 classic, but this film is definitely the best of the sequels. I won't diss JAWS III (1983) or JAWS: THE REVENGE (1987) because, in spite of what most people think, they are not terrible movies. Not as good as the first two films, obviously, but not terrible, either. Moving on.
While most people seem to criticize the first hour or so of JAWS 2, that's the part of the film I like the most. I know the second part has more excitement with the shark attacking the teenagers on the sailboats and Brody needing to get them out of their situation and all that, but there's something about the first part that I find more likeable. It could be a number of reasons...
(1) The shark only makes brief appearances and you hardly see much of it - similar to JAWS (1975) where you don't see much of the shark until later on in the film.
(2) It builds up the tension as you wonder when and where the shark will strike next after we've seen it attack the water skier and the boat driver.
(3) It gives Brody more time to realize there's another shark in the water while everyone else dismisses him.
(4) I can relate to the scenes on land more since I don't go swimming at all...and thus, can imagine what it must have been like to know a shark is in the ocean and not knowing where or when it's going to attack next, as was mentioned in #2.
(5) Some other unknown reason.
Regardless, it's a great film and it doesn't deserve the negative criticism it's been receiving. Of course, JAWS 2 will never be as good as JAWS, but to consider it a bad movie is really low. I know there are those who praise this film and I appreciate that. But, to those who negatively criticize it, it's definitely uncalled for. I guess it's just a matter of tastes. Not everyone is going to like this film.
One other thing: this is the only JAWS film in the franchise where I actually agree with the MPAA rating of PG. It has intense violence, but gore is very limited and not ONE of the victims is shown being eaten by the shark. It's implied, of course, but it's not actually shown, unlike what the other three films in this franchise have shown. Before I end this review, let me share what ratings I would give the four films in this franchise.
JAWS - R
JAWS 2 - PG
JAWS III - R
JAWS: THE REVENGE - R
That is all for my review.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
Second best in the franchise...
While the original 1993 film remains my favorite movie (not just of the franchise, but of ALL TIME), this film is a very close second. From the trailers, it seemed like the Indoraptor was pure evil, but after seeing the film itself, I realized that it had been abused, teased, and tormented that drove the animal mad.
I don't truly believe it would have killed Maisie Lockwood had it actually caught her in the iconic moment seen from two of the trailers. When it reached out from its cage, notice that it simply brushed her hair. It could have nabbed her, pulled her into the cage, and eaten her if it truly wanted to.
The real monster was Ken Wheatly. He was terribly cruel and when the Indoraptor bit his arm off, I was hoping it would bite his head off. Other antagonists included Eli Mills and that dinosaur-selling greedy b*****d (Gunner Eversoll) who wanted to make a fortune, despite Henry Wu's protests.
There are at least THREE tear-jerking scenes in this film, not just one.
(1) The one everyone knows - when the Brachiosaur is on the dock before it's engulfed by the lava and smoke.
(2) When Zia operates on Blue and tries to remove the bullet in her leg while the poor animal struggles to stay alive - especially when Blue sheds a tear.
(3) When the dinosaurs are trapped in that room as it fills up with toxic gas before Maisie releases them.
Those are the scenes that made me emotional, though I doubt those are the only scenes in this movie that have that effect on me.
Since the Indoraptor isn't as evil as I had thought from watching the trailers before I saw the film, I must say its death scene is a little bit sad for me. Granted, it's not as emotional as the scenes above, but it still has some drama to it.
I can't decide if Henry Wu is an antagonist or not. In some scenes, he appears to be, but not in others. It's like, he is, but he isn't.
As much as I love this film, it still could have been better. For one thing, the Indoraptor should have bitten Wheatley's head off, rather than his arm. For another, Blue should have gone with Owen and the others at the end. He asked her to come with him and told her that she would be taken to a safe place. Perhaps, that place could have been at Owen's cabin after he finished building it.
How is Blue going to take care of herself this time without Owen? Will Blue die in "Jurassic World III" (whatever its title happens to be in 2021)? Suppose she encounters deer/bear hunters in the woods and they shoot her between this film and the third one. Now that she's in the United States, there's no telling what will happen to Blue without Owen. While she wanted freedom, I think Blue would have been better off going with Owen and the others.
Jurassic Park (1993)
My all-time favorite movie...but, it needed something more - Part 1
Very few films get a 10/10 star rating from me (most get 9/10 or less) and JURASSIC PARK has made it to this high rating. It is my all-time favorite film out of ANY film. The sequels fared well, but none of them got higher than 9/10 stars.
However, even my favorite film is not without its flaws. These are based on my own personal opinions and not actual flaws from the film itself. When I say "flaws", I mean there could have been things to make my favorite film even better than it already is. So, without further ado, let me say what would have improved this film that it didn't feature.
1 - THE RAPTORS
No, I don't mean they should have had feathers, as many people have said many times over. What I mean is they should have had much more screen time and depicted as less vicious than they were. They have become my favorite of all the dinosaurs...and probably one major reason this is my favorite film. I sympathize with them and fiercely defend them.
Let's start out with the intro scene when the Raptor is being hauled by a large crate and about to be moved into a tight security pen. For the Raptor inside, it must have felt like it was about to go to a prison cell. Indeed, the pen itself DOES look like a security prison for inmates. I'm sure this must have scared and confused the animal. So, what does a confused, frightened animal do? Defend itself...hence, the scene as it played out. It grabbed the first thing that was within its reach. Unfortunately for Jophery, it happened to be him.
Now, let's go to the scene when they feed the Raptors a sickly-looking black bull that even I would never touch, let alone eat. Do you REALLY think the Raptors actually ate that thing? Notice when the harness is lifted back up, there is NO blood on it? At least, I never noticed any blood on it. What I believe they did in the pen is cut the animal loose from the harness and shook the trees to put on an act for the visitors. If I were a Raptor and was offered that bull to eat, I'd have thrown up from the sight of it. I suspect at least one of the Raptors did the same thing. The sound of them "devouring" the bull while the trees shook may have been one or more of the Raptors vomiting.
Mr. Arnold being killed by the Raptor in the maintenance shed may have been a defense action...or, perhaps he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Since his death was never actually depicted...only showing his severed arm on-screen...it's possible that he may have teased and provoked the animal into attacking him. Who knows? And, Muldoon's death was justified. He hated them from the beginning and wanted them destroyed. The Raptors weren't stupid. They knew they had to get rid of him before he got rid of them.
When it came to the Raptors "stalking" Tim and Lex in the kitchen, I believe it was a mistake. They initially came for the food that was left on the table in the dining room, but the kids misunderstood and went to hide. Why did the Raptors follow them into the kitchen? They probably thought the kids had more food in the kitchen. After all, what do you think kitchens are used for? Although it seemed like one Raptor was charging at Lex (only for it to bang its head against a shiny cabinet after being fooled by her reflection), I believe its intention was not to kill her, but merely catch her. Perhaps, it was hungry and believed she could be a chef and maybe wanted her to make some food.
But, once it was injured, it became angry and believed these humans were a threat to them. That belief set the remainder of this film in motion as we've seen it. One Raptor was kicked in the face by Grant, which only made the Raptors even more angry than before. By that point, they were on the defense and attempted to defend themselves from Grant, Ellie, and the children until the Tyrannosaurus Rex showed up and finished them off.
Speaking of Ellie, I forgot to mention why the Raptor seemingly "attacked" her in the shed. All the noise she and the equipment were making probably got its attention and was curious to see what was going on. When she started screaming, the Raptor was probably confused by this two-legged creature and probably wanted to try and help her calm down. Unfortunately, Ellie took it the wrong way and, thus, the scene played out as we've seen it.
At the end of the film, there should have been a stowaway Raptor hiding in the helicopter when the survivors were flown away from Isla Nublar. This also goes for each of the sequels. All five films should have had a Raptor that goes home with the survivors. That would have made this film (and its sequels) even better than they were.
End of Part 1
One Dark Night (1982)
A very good frightening movie, but PG?
How did this get a PG rating when "The Fog" (1980) received an R rating? This has gruesome corpses in various stages of decay (including one with maggots on/in it) and...
(SPOILER ALERT!!)
...when Raymar himself is killed by his daughter, his face melts and we can see the flesh being ripped off with what appears to be brain matter from the top and back of his head before one of his eyeballs flies off. Then, his face shrivels up before he collapses dead.
The only "gore" in The Fog was when...
(ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT!!)
...one of the ghosts is attacked by Stevie Wayne and, after receiving its own hook in its face, it turns with worms wriggling on its face for about 2 seconds. Sure, the death scenes are intense, but most of them are implied and there's NO BLOOD AT ALL!
So, I say again...why is One Dark Night given a PG rating while The Fog was given an R rating? I say the shoe should be on the other foot!
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Why such a low rating?
2.9? Okay, I know this film is the weakest of the franchise, but it doesn't deserve a rating THIS low. I gave it 7 out of 10 stars, at least. The shark may look fake at times, but were any of the sharks in this franchise even remotely realistic? And, don't even get me started on the "sharks don't roar" argument. Each film in this franchise depicts a shark either roaring or growling. So don't single out this film with that "logic" while ignoring the rest of them. You want real sharks? Go watch a documentary about them! These films are meant to be entertaining, not to be thought of as real.
Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922)
Great classic, but...
This is one of those rare iconic films about vampires that predates Bela Lugosi. It's a great classic, but I'm not too fond of the updated music they changed to this film. I much prefer the original film with the original music. The original was eerie and spooky on its own. There was no need to change the music. Once more, modern people have to ruin classic original films.
They did it with Jaws, Critters, Jurassic Park, The Terminator, a bunch of other films (do I even need to mention the original Star Wars trilogy?) and now, Nosferatu. Why can't they leave classic films alone? If it ain't broke, don't "fix" it.
Blue's Clues: What Is Blue Afraid Of? (1997)
This episode is surprisingly scary!
There are some brief mild scares throughout this episode. But, after Blue and Steve skidoo into the haunted house, it becomes very frightening! It's not so much the little ghost named "Boo", but rather a few other things within the house. By far, the scariest moment occurs when we see a picture frame depicting an old scary bearded man that moves his eyes a few times during the scene. I'm a grown man almost 40 years old and this moment still makes me cringe! Don't get me wrong. I love "Blue's Clues" and this episode is no exception. It's just a lot scarier than any other episode I've seen.
Suggested Rating: TV-Y7 or TV-PG for brief, but frightening moments.
Serpiente de mar (1985)
Why such negative reviews on this film?
Unlike most of the other reviews, I personally enjoyed this classic 1980s film about a giant sea monster that, after awakening from an atomic bomb blast, goes on a rampage and begins attacking anything in its sight. It begins its attack on a sea vessel and sinks the captain's boat. He and a few of the crew manage to escape, but the rest of his crew is not so lucky.
He is under scrutiny from everyone who believes he was drunk for losing his ship due to other mishaps in the past. But, when a woman who witnesses her friend's death by the monster teams up with him, they set out to find someone who will believe them. Nobody does --- until they team up with a wise old professor.
The monster then attacks a lighthouse and kills the owner before turning its attention to a boat dock and kills the dockmaster. The man who witnesses the dockmaster's death is the captain's mate who now believes he was right all along and apologizes to him when he meets up with him later. The four of them now have to fight the monster.
With what? Flares. They don't intend to kill the creature...which is much better than other "monster movies" where it dies at the end...but, instead, they want to drive it away. When the monster returns, they put their plan into action, but not before it attacks a helicopter and kills the pilots inside. Then, it attacks a bridge and almost destroys a train in the process. The train manages to make it across, but the last car...a tanker car, I believe...becomes dislodged and explodes after splashing into the water.
The monster manages to escape and the professor assumes it may be heading for the United States. How I wish a sequel had been made showing it attacking some U.S. coastal communities. Anyway, the film ends on that note and the captain and the woman fall in love.
While this movie may not have the best special effects, it doesn't deserve the negative criticism it got. There's also a subplot where a survivor from one of the attacks is killed by some unidentified man who looks like a secret agent. He suffocates the survivor by putting a pillow over his face.
As far as I know, this film is either rated PG or PG-13 (depending on various sources). Considering the amount of violence and language depicted, I'd place my bets on the PG-13 rating.