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Reviews
The Mother (2023)
Sad face for the war criminal.
A movie that attempts to make us feel sorry for a mass murdering, war criminal, human trafficker. The protagonist is upset to find that her gangster, criminal, fellow arms dealers are also selling children. Either she's incredibly naive, purposely ignorant, or dumb. Most Seppo's are all of the above, so it's probably a fair portrayal.
It's also amusing that the FBI is interested in helping her hunt the "baddies", when anyone who pays attention knows that US intelligence agencies are the biggest drug and weapons dealers on earth. In real life, they're the ones that the bad guys in this film are working for.
Either way, she is the "bad guy" of this movie, yes there are others, but that doesn't give her a pass. Not only would I have taken her child away, but I'd have sent her to prison for life. No parole.
Sei bounty killers per una strage (1973)
Terrible.
As a fan of the genre, this is the worst I've seen. Lazy production, terrible acting from the extras, and a story that forgets that it's being told. Other later period Spaghetti Westerns tried new things, and went deeper into their characters. Two stellar examples are 'Keoma' and 'California'.
This one chose the opposite route, digressing towards a pre-spaghetti style, which is incredibly boring and completely pointless in every way.
If you're new to Italian Westerns please don't bother, there's literally hundreds of better options. If you some how stumbled across this movie, don't let it sully your opinion of the genre, check out some better movies.
Elvis (2022)
A fictitious mess
This movie isn't about Elvis Presley, it's about a fictional character in Luhrman's mind wearing an Elvis mask. Complete fiction from start to finish, in no way can this be called a biopic.
In true self indulgent style, Luhrman removes real life controversy, replacing it with made up controversy, filling the gaps with flowery, over the top nonsense. To add insult to injury, the movie about one of pops greatest singers, is littered with generic, modern music.....
Ku bei (2021)
Degeneracy
A sick movie, made by sicko's, for sicko's. It gives me the impression that Taiwan has grasped a hold of the degenerate "values" of the West, in which it's so desperate to be a part of.
This movie would never have been allowed to have been made on the mainland, and rightly so.
The Last Stand (2013)
Same old Yank nonsense
This is no more than a giant grouping of plot holes, surrounded by some movie.
Why did they spend all that time building a bridge over an empty river? Pop a couple of blokes by the river with some climbing gear, and hey presto, home again! No one would've known that the "baddies" were even there.
Ojing-eo geim (2021)
Modern take on Das Capital
This creative new show, which has clearly been inspired by Karl Marx's genius work 'Das Capital', provides an up to date analysis of capitalism and its billions of victims.
Hopefully it stays on track and doesn't fall victim to the very thing that it's critiquing.
Crock of Gold: A Few Rounds with Shane MacGowan (2020)
Very disappointing
I was expecting a deep dive into the history of MacGowan, as well as The Pogues, and Irish music of the 60s-80s period.
What I got was a mish mash of old interviews with Shane, mixed with the occasional camera pan to him falling asleep.
The names of his band members were mentioned no more than once, if at all. Images and video clips of The Dubliners were plentiful, but again, the band or its members didn't get a mention, no room to pay a quick homage to Luke Kelly? Pathetic, and disrespectful. (of course Bono gets a nod, really?)
The one joy I got from this was finding out how supportive Shane was of the IRA, more than I'd realised, and this left me very pleased. Everything else had been covered in previous documentaries.
12 Feet Deep (2017)
Astoundingly bad
I often have to suspense and horror movies as it's my partners favourite genres, and they're mostly below average and predictable, the plots are always similar and highly predictable.
This one looked to be a bit different than the norm so I went in with a more open mind than usual. I was very wrong indeed, it's worse than the average.
Completely illogical at every juncture, the dialogue surely was written by someone working on a school project, and it somehow found its way into the hands of someone trying to lose their job. The two girls wouldn't have the smarts to get out of a stationary vehicle let alone a covered pool.
Don't Hang Up (2016)
As bad as it gets
From the very opening you hope that the bad guy wins and is able to inflict as much pain as possible on the protagonists.
Cliche after cliche, bad acting and plot holes the size of the empty space in the writers brain.
Possibly the worst movie I've ever seen, I'd go as far as saying that anyone who enjoyed this movie should re-evaluate whether their existence on this earth is necessary.
John Wick (2014)
Same old same old
Seen it one hundred times before. Russia bad, USA good, bang bang, the end.
Uninteresting story line filled with average performances and Russian accents that swing between convincing and awful every time they open their mouths.
I don't know why this has become one of those "you gotta see it" movies, I've had more entertaining and challenged bowel movements.
After Life (2019)
Same old predictable Gervais
Once upon a time I could barely contain my anticipation at the thought of a new Gervais offering, that was before I realised that Merchant was the true genius and this is proven every time Gervais releases something new.
After Life continues the drawn out decline of a once cutting edge artist. It's not very interesting and it offers nothing new, just the same old Gervais themes and humour that he's been trotting since his last decent creation and self fulfilling prophecy of Extra's.
Possibly the most vapid and predictable show I've seen in a long while, just because he turns on the waterworks it doesn't make the show deep. Many seem to be fooled and believe the opposite.
The characters are likeable but don't scratch below the surface and the main character is just another vehicle for Gervais to tell us what a nice guy he really is.
The show will appeal to those who cling to sentimentality but won't do mutch for those who require something deeper in order to be entertained.
Apart from a few wry smiles, it wasn't funny, the standard Gervais shock treatment just doesn't shock anymore and it's pretty lame.
Williams (2017)
Well made celebration of a selfish man
As a fan of F1 and Williams I was hoping for more of a team narrative covering the achievements and goings on between various personalities involved throughout it's existence.
Instead I was faced with an commendably honest look at the teams creator Frank Williams.
I hadn't realised what a selfish and somewhat uncaring man he is, it baffles me to see anyone sing his praises after watching this, yet they do.
The movie is full of apologies for him from those who have every right to feel the most aggrieved, I can't fault them personally as family is family.
However, it was well made, insightful and worth watching even if I do have to reconsider my choice of team going forward.
Midnight in Paris (2011)
Disappointing
Contrary to some opinions, this is not an original concept, a similar idea was used for the U.K television series 'Goodnight Sweetheart'.
Having said that, I went in thinking it had all the ingredients to make a good film, it failed.
The actors where generally good and I'll admit a soft spot for the affable Owen Wilson.
Most of the characters didn't develop beyond their opening scenes and I struggled to feel anything for any of them apart from Wilson, this could be due to my Wilson bias.
The trips back in time were lazily written and uninteresting, giving us no more than a checklist of notable writers and artists. One after the other they parade across the screen, most of the time in a completely irrelevant way and gave nothing to the story. One can't help but think that Allen had a list of historical figures that he felt compelled to include, probably for no other reason than intellectual posturing.
The movies "message" was dull and uninspired.
The entire movie is predictable and unchallenging, you will have forgotten that you've watched it within five minutes of it ending.
Doctor Who: Arachnids in the UK (2018)
Very poor
I quite like Jodie to begin with but I've become bored of her quite rapidly, perhaps her character will improve over time as more layers are added.
The story was silly and childish, Dr Who's recent fetish with lesbians continues as does it need to appeal to a more liberal audience. I'm a vegetarian Communist and even I'm finding it all a bit much.
It now feels like an American program and that's clearly it's focus audience now, I think us fans of the traditional Dr Who have to face up to the fact that it's not for us anymore. Oh well we had a good run.