rebelphilos Reviews

Salvage (2006)

Good effort but keep trying

[5/10 · 29 June 2006]

First let me say that overall for a low-budget movie the outcome has merit. The plot was catching but it fails to deliver a coherent conclusion.

The story develops in small-city Appalachia. It starts with a very commonplace situation that could be the preamble to a very lame movie, or a promise that better things are coming to justify the beginning. Fortunately, it is the latest.

In this first fragment, Claire -student at day, night gas station mini-market cashier at night- leaves her job and walks to the road to wait for her boyfriend to pick up her -she hasn't a driver's license-. Her boyfriend's truck arrives but driven by an unknown man, despite what, she accepts the ride. As you are already imaging he harassed her all the way until they arrive to Claire's home, and after some suspense -yes you are right again- the stranger kills her. However, wait, right here the plot starts looking interesting. Immediately after the supposed murder the story goes back to the point in time where it started -Claire leaving her job and walking to the road to wait for her ride- except that some details change.

At this point I said "well, this is going to be interesting", and began to guess which was main concept behind the plot. It looked good for some sort of time shifting and/or parallel or alternative realities. The following sequences reaffirmed that idea but at some point they stopped being consistent with any of the ideas I mentioned before. I made an effort to think of a new one that made better sense but couldn't find anyone except the some kind of no so exciting ghosts-spirits limbo, which didn't convince me completely neither.

Lauren Currie Lewis as Claire delivers a very good performance. She has a placid kind of beauty somewhere between Alicia Silverston and a female version of Jake Gyllenhaal (she could be a female "Donnie Darko" too if the film didn't drift into massive confusion) with evident talent for drama.

Sound and music were outstanding with powerful songs by the rather unknown "Devola".

As said before, keep trying.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

The hills have eyes and the producers too: excellent popcorn horror

[8/10 · 25 June 2006]

When you decide to watch a movie like this updated version of "The hills have eyes" you are not looking for a Hitchcock nor a Kubrick. Not even an Oscar nominee. What you really want is a couple of hours of good plain entertainment, with some smart suspense, a minimally coherent plot, and a good production that should translate in a clear direction, good photography and adequate sound (yes, sound, the main element in the "boo-factor", you know, those moments when the people jump from their seats and screams pop up around the theater).

Well, this movie has all of the above. It provides the kind of entertainment you expect without being too explicit except in what refers to human or mutant butchery that nowadays seems to be a must for the genre. Nevertheless these scenes are very well achieved, rounding an excellent work in cinematography by Belgium Maxime Alexandre, under an overall good direction over his own screenplay by Frenchman Alexandre Aja.

For my surprise this movie does not make use of the usual resource of the hot chicks nor hot guys. Actually there is nothing close to the hot guy stereotype, but even though there is good hot chick material in American Vinessa Shaw (a Kubrick-chick if you remember "Eyes Wide Shut") and Australian Emilie de Ravin (your lovely Claire Littleton in "Lost") playing as sisters, there is basically no explicit use of her sensuality, even less of her natural body attributes. There are two scenes than run together where one after other sister are under some kind of perverse sexual harassment where almost everything is left to you to complete with your own dirty mind.

Again, be aware that this is a good movie form the absolute light entertainment point of few. Don't think not even for a second it's perfect. The plot is full of holes, some impossible stuff happens, but what the hack, the whole idea is just a big impossibility, this is not a documentary or anything like that. So be smart, lower your criticism, help yourself with a drink, a good dosage of sugar or whichever substance makes your mood go smooth, relax and have fun.

America's Got Talent (2006– )

America's got talent, the show has not

[4/10 · 21 June 2006]

Simon Cowell manages to try another spin-off of "American Idol", despite of the failure with his previous attempt "American Inventor".

It follows the same guidelines than "American Idol", you know, a host the three stereotypical judges, an obedient crowd for audience, and some entertaining contestants plus many more that are shown only for their humiliation on national TV, that is actually what most of the public seems to dig anyway. Even more, giving it is an open talent contest, half of them are singers what gives Cowell a chance for a shot closer to the "Idol" success.

Regis Philbin does his job, he always manages to look as a nice guy, I don't think he contributes rising the show interest but is not responsible for the poor overcome either.

Moving on. I may concede that the Idol's judge model settled what seems to be the Holly Grail of reality-show contests, but that's not magic. The chosen court must have some charisma. In the Idol, it was this Cowell's quality that brought attention to the show. But did he manage to put together an attractive set of judges prescinding of himself? Let's see.

Let me start by David Hasselhoff just because he is the only I know. At least when watching Hasselhoff a couple of generations will feel some kind of comfort reminding "Knight rider" and "Baywatch". And it guarantees the show will be sold in Germany too.

Piers Morgan, who I don't have any clue who he is, takes the role of the wise and balanced judge completing his stereotype with a British accent that in America seems -wrongfully- to be synonymous of a higher intellect.

Finally Brandy. No, they are not drinking any alcoholic liquor, but may be you'll need it to digest why this completely unknown -or at least very well forgotten- singer (that is how they introduced her) is the judge that completes the trilogy. When Hasselhoff and Morgan are somehow appealing, Brandy is some kind of hyper-kinetic and overexcited Tasmanian Devil sat in the middle. At some point I felt bad for Morgan whose face seems Brandy preferred target for the uncontrollable spin of her arms and her annoying affection demonstrations.

In his modesty Cowell doesn't realize that the success of his shows is linked to him being in front the cameras rather than behind them. If Simon were in this show not even the contestants would be necessary to nail its success. But this is not the case. Clearly.

Firewall (2006)

Firewall your expectations first!

[5/10 · 21 June 2006]

Lousy script packed in high quality and expensive Hollywood production results in this thriller only good to spend a rainy evening with a good stock of trashy snacks.

What seems to be at the beginning a high-tech commando of hardcore professional criminals able to set up a bank information security chief, rapidly and with no sense at all, deteriorate in a pack of amateur weak jerks.

The rest is a set of incongruences of this sort. Easy situations are hard to resolve when the impossible ones are resolved in a snap. That's how the sophisticated criminals turn dumb, and the dumb character portrayed by Ford (Jack Stanfield) becomes an action hero. Even though Ford manages to keep Jack looking dumb, since it seems that for the old Harrison this is the only mood he can pull out.

The only performance to mention is that of Mary Lynn Rajskub portraying Janet Stone, Jack's secretary. She actually reenacts her character in the TV series 24 (Cloe) and even her boss has the same name as it does in the series. But whatever, at least she reminds you of better things to watch.

Treasure Hunters (2006– )

Amazing Race meets the Da Vinci Code

[7/10 · 19 June 2006]

The time to capitalize in the "keep a secret, break the code" fever after the undeniable selling success of Dan Brown's novel is right now. Hollywood did it first, so focused in seizing the heat of the moment that almost completely neglected any quality control despite the millions it poured on that lousy film.

Now is TV time. Would it spoil it as Hollywood did?

TV approach looked to maximize results by melting in the reality-show factor, an ingredient that by these days is very convenient to include in the mind diet of TV producers and managers.

I have to be honest; I was waiting for the same mediocre Hollywood-like outcome. The promotions already showed too elaborated scenes, too many high quality shots, too much convenient camera angles, and too bright and immaculate artifacts imprinted with codes and clues, that seemed to drift away that reality ambiance so well delivered by jewels of the genre like Amazing Race.

I gave the new show a chance anyway. Of course, it is not the Race, but after the tedious introduction including all the sponsors paraphernalia it was easy to realize that many millions were poured here too. With half of the teams starting in Alaska, and the other half in Hawaii, with no shortage of helicopters, boats or airplanes, soon it was clear this was not going to be a cheap show and that the stakes were high.

The selection of the teams followed some simple standard rules: some hot chicks, some hot guys, the Afro-American team, and some other grouping stereotypes we are already used to see. That's how you have the Miss USA team and the Grad Females covering the brainless-pageant and the party-girls slots, the Geniuses and Young Pros to fulfill the intelligence-college-success fantasy trilogy, the pastor and family, the ex-CIA and the Air Force teams, and the Afro-American buddies because this show has to be so politically correct as any other. One fresh addition though are the red necks from Texas (hard to believe they can even crack how not to lose on the tac-tic-toe but they might surprise later in the show).

All these said, I've to concede that even the too long two-hours premiere, this is not a completely disposable show, and might be a decent exercise to avoid desperate boredom until the new season of the Amazing Race launches.

The pros: excellent production, outstanding imagery and locations, acceptable tasks and tests (code-crackers don't expect any challenge here though), and what seems will be an ambitious journey that will extend beyond borders. You also will receive a little refreshment of high school elemental history as a bonus.

On the other side not very convincing participants. Hard time believing they are "real", some scenes were too obviously mounted and acted, some cameras shots very improbable in an actual low-scripted reality race. And of course so many things so neat and bright that's hard to figure out how the participants get to look more than decent even though in the same day they had to swim, climb, rappel, get soak, etc. Another thing I didn't like is that although this was supposed to be a more brainy contest than usual, again most of the success relies on demanding physical tasks closer to Survivor than to a family-friendly race. And that's why casting an overweight member for the Afro-American team seems an act of cruelty, even more when you see the guy actually can barely transport his body on a horizontal surface, and watch him drowning not once but twice, and suffering to climb a mountain after.

As I said before, nothing new or outstanding will be achieved by this show, but suitable for the low expectations of summer TV.

"Watchable".

Seawards Journey (2003)

A sample of Uruguayan cinema technical skills...

[6/10 · 16 June 2006]

...but that once again fails to deliver a story for these times and its public with demanding and dynamic taste for quality entertainment for their rather scarce spare time.

This a correct movie from the technical point of view, that means Uruguayan movie makers have this goal achieved. It also shows that in the land of revolutionary hero Artigas, in this rather little country sharing the River Plate with Latin America cinema power Argentina, it is perfectly feasible to create films that evolve in sunny stages, with plenty of light, and rather little depressive drama. This is also another not minor achievement since Uruguayan contemporary movies that had get enough promotion to be noticed, seem to follow an unwritten law of delivering stories that don't seem to bring any amusement.

Just follow the following quick checklist. Highly marketed "El Dirigible" is basically a mess that not even the performers understood (actor Ricardo Espalter made it clear to anybody listening to him). "En la Puta Vida" is far away the most entertaining contemporary production but has very little Uruguayan except the writer (the lead credits go to Argentineans and basically all the story takes place in Barcelona) and still falls when it tries to deliver a patronizing message demonizing the condition of Uruguayan women turn into international prostitution (Uruguay has very few shots for minimally descent productions, why waste them systematically in bad propaganda? Believe me, the world already have an unrealistic and extremely bad concept about the countries south of the world). And finally "Whisky" the darker most pessimistic dramatic comedy I've ever seen, the only way to avoid suicidal behavior when watching it is to take it as a pure comedy and laugh about the rather real endemic Uruguayan pessimism (no need to reenact it on the screen).

"El Viaje hacia el mar" marks an improvement by removing pessimistic, dark, or worthless sad environments. But still lacks of a good, compelling, attractive, entertaining story to back it up.

Based on the short story by Morosoli, the most outstanding writer coming from the hills of Lavalleja County (or Department as they call them in Uruguay) from half century ago, is already outdated. Maybe a good piece for a literature class, or for those times mainstream readers, but not anymore, and certainly not for a full-length movie.

The anecdote of this set of all-male and -supposedly- colorful characters taking a long (and slow, very slow) trip to get to know the sea for the first time (that's actually just a hundred miles away) after a life submerged in the hills of Minas (Lavalleja's capital), is weak for modern readers and it's impossible it can fill a whole movie, even if you shoot as slow as your patience can resist.

Well, actually, there is a way to develop a film from such tiny base, the fact that this movie is out there shows it's possible. You just have to master the Uruguayan art of doing the things slower beyond any healthy conception.

Long road scenes where actually nothing happens, showing a truck (yes, you get it a slow truck that was already old and cranky for the fifties) loaded with a bunch of speechless and pretty boring characters, leaves few choices: fall asleep, hope for some surprising twist (a turtle passing the truck would be hysterical and perhaps would change my whole concept about this film), or watch it in fast-forward. Amazingly when you do the latest, everything seems to run still slow, but looks like a more realistic slowness.

But let's focus on the positive side -and that's why I'm giving a rating over 5-, Uruguayan movie makers are already capable of delivering technically sound movies. Let's hope they will finally will find a suitable story for all that talent. Uruguay has outstanding writers, it's just a matter of connecting the dots...

Oculto (I) (2005)

Excellent, modern and creative Spanish cinema with Latin American stars

[8/10 · 16 June 2006]

Dismiss any low ratings given to this film. They must either come from people with a poor understanding of Spanish having a hard time with the subtitles, or from those that consider that good cinema that comes from Spain must be directed by Almodovar or about the miseries of Civil War, or about missing people under military governments, poverty, violence or any other kind of pretty dark stuff if it comes from Latin America.

This is a modern thriller, with suspense, drama, smart story, sharp script, excellent and unconventional camera management, steaming sensuality, and charismatic performances by top Latin American stars Leonardo Sbaraglia and Angie Cepeda.

The gorgeous Natalia (Cepeda) is obsessed with some repetitive dreams she catalogs as premonitions. She catches the interest of Alex (Sbaraglia) as it will happen with any healthy male exposed to this goddess. But she also catches the attention of the plain and shy Beatriz (Laia Marull) who will become the less fortunate character in the love triangle that she completes with her pretensions for Alex, but also the puppet-master in her Machiavellian manipulation of reality to drive Natalia deeply down in her oniric paranoia. Even the skeptic and pragmatic Alex will be dragged in the web of confusion that Beatriz coldly weaves.

I have to concede that the movie begins too sketchy: a lecture about dreams, a long and stiff post-lecture question in which Natalia relates rather plainly her issue some dreams turn premonitions, and Argentinian Sbaraglia faking a Spanish accent. Obviouslly the director was forced to give away too much information right away to allow him to develop all the good stuff that follows. So don't eject the disk too soon, give yourself the chance to enjoy what comes after those few initial minutes. Right after Natalia's boring monologue ends you will be trapped by this film and immediately forget Sbaraglia's faked accent or Cepeda's lame introduction to the story. Sbaraglia will perform smoothly delivering a correct performance as usual, but Cepeda will steal again the screen portraying this irresistible, gorgeous, capricious, fun and outrageous female used to get whatever she wants (I wonder how much of these matches Cepeda herself) but with that fatal (lethal?) obsession. Let me say Cepeda herself is taken from a dream, a contemporary Latin American Briggite Bardot, reassuring she is one of the hottest women alive. And before you complain about my obvious preference for the Colombian as an actress and more, let me round up stating that Spanish Marull delivers a correct performance too.

For those of you guys looking for some skin exposure you won't be disappointed, but be warned Cepeda's nudity may be dangerous for you heart (heart?). You will have something from Marull too. And you gals will have your dose of Sbaraglia too. But let me assure this is just a collateral bonus without which the movie won't lose a ounce of its interest. And let me underscore that none of comments about Angie Cepeda is based on her nude scenes. She is the kind of woman that naturally exudes sensuality even under a dirty overall and two thick coats, in the middle of a tough flu, makeup-free and a week with no shower.

Captain Pantoja and the Special Services (1999)

A jewel of Latinamerican cinema

[9/10 · 10 June 2006]

It's not easy to take a successful novel and make a movie based upon it. No discussion about this. The aim of such adaptations should not be to repeat the book on the screen, but take the essence and identify the best suited passages to develop a script. It's a work of artistic translation at many levels.

This movie is excellent. As a comedy it warranties smiles and laughs, as a drama it may reserve some tears over the end, as a documentary it lets you discover many aspects of the complexity of a country like Peru, and visually it will give you a pleasant experience immersing you in the charming Peruvian Amazonia locations.

I don't know how much is lost if you are not able to understand Spanish. As always happens it is possible that part of the value of this film may be lost if you have to spend time off the main action reading subtitles.

To round up the special beauty of the Amazonia, Angie Cepeda provides the perfect match, bringing to the screen all her exuberant sensuality and femininity as "la Colombiana" ("the Colombian"). I can't imagine a better actress for this character. Angie Cepeda by herself is reason enough for any person who admire female beauty to see this movie, not once but many times. You will fall in love with "la Colombiana" as Captain Pantaleon Pantoja does, and you will also understand why Chuchupe (an experienced brothel manager) refers to her as an inconvenience after his notoriety for driving men to suicide. Angie (born Angelica), an actual Colombian from Cartagena De Indias, is with no doubt one of the prettiest and most sensual current actresses. Today, the Colombian Angelica head to head with the American Angelina (turn in this unattractive hybrid of "Brangelina") wins the race for more than a body (and more than just the body).

But look also for Aristóteles Picho as the hilarious "El Sinchi" the radial journalist that is always around troubling Captain Pantoja's mission.

Also pay attention to Peruvian comedian and also pretty actress Tatiana Astengo as the "visitadora" (female escort, an euphemism for prostitute) known as "Pechuga", character honored with this nickname to celebrate, well, her breast (that's one of the meaning of the Spanish word).

You will laugh a lot, cry a little, learn something about Peru, and re-joy your eyes and soul with one of the most beautiful creatures on Earth. What else?!

Besides, you will be able to fake you read Vargas Llosa's bestseller.

The Boston Strangler (2006 Video)

If you don't have anything else to do...

[5/10 · 9 June 2006]

...it won't hurt you to see this movie.

It follows the conventional pattern of the persistent detective against the clever quasi-genius murderer, but in this case the detective is not willing to prove the guilt of a murderer trying to evade it, but rather the contrary.

Nothing spectacular in this film, but nothing so dreadful either. You won't remember this movie after you see it... ...but you won't feel you completely waste your idle time either.

The story is supposed to develop along many years, with the core in the sixties, a soft twist by the seventies, and a short epilogue by the beginning of the new millennium. But I have to confess that it looks to me as at least the eighties all the time, no way at any point the viewer will even consider that any of the action takes place in the sixties. Even more, if they tell you that it's contemporary it won't be hard to believe so. So there you have one weakness of this movie: lack of temporal credibility.

It's based on the true case that gives its name to the film, and the murdered represented here is actually the one accused, sentenced and killed in prison. The movie respects this but adds doubt about his culpability. This is the core of the plot and the reason-tyo-be of this movie.

Surpraisingly the third credited character (the beautiful and supportive detective's wife) the delicious Camille Lannan was not included in the profile. I've sent the update to make justice to this subtle beauty!