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Reviews
Thanksgiving (2023)
Bland and not scary
Thanksgiving is anouther in a long line of mordern horror films
where within the first 20 minutes you are rooting for the killer.
Yet again all the main characters are horrible, self obsessed stereotypes .
For me the kills could not come quick enough and sadly they didn't .
Slow pacing and totally lacking any real build up of tension.
This could have been a film that was knocked out by anyone of 100's of
B-movie Directors , the fact it was made by the same guy who made Hostel and The Green Inferno
shows his heart really isn't in it anymore.
Nothing new in the kills department ,nothing new in the filming and even the music is very forgettable.
Feels a lot of the time like a made for TV movie. The lighting is flat and boring ,the sets and settings have no atmosphere and the worse thing a film can have is padding. Lots of unnecessary scenes.
If you like watching films about kids on their phones this is for you.
Deadstream (2022)
Way more scary than you think it's going to be
I did not think this would be a film I would like. Kind of think it's all been done before but this is a a gem .
It's fast paced . Great blend of horror and comedy and when I say horror I mean really scary stuff.
The effects are very well done and the use of Go-pros works incredibly well . You never get bored of the mainly one person on screen and pretty much all of the time watching you are just on the edge of your seat waiting for something to jump out due to the nature of the way it's filmed .
I might be going out on a limb but I think this it the modern day version of the Evil Dead. There are things going on in the background so keep your eyes open ..
Hellraiser (2022)
Boring with awful characters
A big part of any horror film is your desire to see someone escape , to survive because you care about them or feel for them.
After 20 minutes I wanted everyone dead and as quick as possible, and I didn't really care how it was done.
This is a lacklustre remake that no one wanted .
As for the horror element , re-watch any 70's horror movie . Chances are it's better made and will actual scare you .
You know what's coming because it arrives so slowly you have a chance to make a cup of tea and get back in time so see it.
The Cenobites themselves seem embarrassed to be there, although they do look very new and shiny like they are off to some S&M club and want to look their latexy best.
You might jump a bit if you saw them in a dark alley but you won't run .
The Lair (2022)
Painfully bad on every level
Once again as in the Reckoning
Neil Marshall's girlfriend takes the lead in a film that really needs someone who can act, just even a little bit. Marshall seems reluctant to give her any direction which leads to some truly embarrassing scenes. She, as in the Reckoning, isn't allowed to appear on screen unless looking her utter best. Crawling throught a muddy drainage ditch covered in mud she pops up the other end perfect. Eject from a fighter plane, not a hair out of place.
The dialogue is truly the worse I have heard in years, it may have been written by a A. I program that has collected all the clichés from war films, as has the casting. Hard bitten Major is given a eye patch of course. Black female soldier, has an attitude and is 'street ' A bizarre Welsh/Cockney soldier for no reason.
The interesting side of the story is glossed over and left sadly as the idea is a good one. Could have been a much better film in someone else's hands
I don't know what is going on with Marshall but a keen YouTuber would have made a better film than this sadly.
Krampus Unleashed (2016)
A masterclass in bad acting and bad film making
Truly unbeliever that every single actor in this 'film' is beyond bad . I really believe you could grab a group of people off the street , give them two hours training and they would do a better job. Oh and the movie is lazy in it's writing , editing, pacing , effects , direction and even sound work .
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)
I loved all the resident evil movies however
Think it was a brave decision by the director to film the rehearsals for every scene and use them in the finished film. Also to make every character both stupid and unlikeable.
Halloween Kills (2021)
If you have a book to finish this is a good movie to do that.
Sadly this adds nothing to the Halloween films, you have seen it all before and infact will be showen it again due to so many flash backs.
No jumps in this for me. No screams and no real enjoyment . Quite a lack luster attempt, done better with so many others films.
Boys from County Hell (2020)
Surprisingly good fun horror
This is a well done, fun and occasionally scary film. Nicely shot and directed . It has a fairly fast pace to it. Some very funny one liners but the comedy doesn't get in the way of the horror elements. Definitely worth your time.
Trick 'r Treat (2007)
Very well done
This is a fun horror film , very well directed and comes full circle at the end. Lots of nods to other horror films . Reminds me of the first Creepshow film .
Really worth watching.
The Green Knight (2021)
Arty but not in a good way
A lot of critics are waxing lyrical about this film because they feel they should rather than actually liking it.
It's 60% walking. So much walking. And really, thats it.
The Night Watchmen (2017)
Way, way better then you think it's going to be
This is a very well done movie.
Good acting .
Good script .
Funny and clever dialogue .
Great set pieces and keeps you entertained right to the end .
Really didn't expect that much from it but happily surprised. Even the effects are well done .
This movie deserves a lot more love and should have a place on your Halloween watch list.
Settlers (2021)
Well acted but pointless
Nothing wrong with the performances but wow this is boring.
First 10 minutes I thought this could be ok but it rapidly went down hill to bordom.
The Reckoning (2020)
The reason cinema is dying is people are allowed to make bad films like this.
I was really keen to see this but Wow what a mess. Firstly it's meant to be the 1700's but it looks like it was shot yesterday at a mock medieval town with a group of locals dressed up in hired costumes . Absolutely no atmosphere or grading to give it a 'feel' then comes the acting . You will know the quality of it in the first two minute opening sequence. The lead actress is just awful , utterly unbelievable whither she is trying to drag a sword across the ground or being tortured. Also she looks like she has just stepped out of the make-up truck in every scene. The script is almost no existent just shouts of Witch, she's a witch , go on get her.... Poor Sean Pertwee did his best but can not save it . And finally the music . Clearly not composed for the film just bought the rights to some medieval / dramatic stuff and laid it over the top. Truly there are 100 better fan made films on YouTube, made with more care and attention then this.