alucifer Reviews

Paranormal Activity (2007)

not scary and really boring

[1/10 · 24 October 2009]

i knew that with all the hype around this movie it could not live up to it and i was right.but i never thought it would be this boring.i just about fell asleep a couple times during this.nothing is scary in this movie at all.there were a number of scenes where a black entity could have shown it self and been blood scary such as the attic scene.a shadow and a weird voice,footprints,blanket pulled and a person pulled off the bed and a little fire.that is all that happens in this very dull movie.how this made it into a theatre is anyones guess .i have seen better and scary videos people have made on youtube.so if you want to get bored and waste your money go see this

Halloween II (2009)

halloween 2- the return of ghost wife

[5/10 · 3 September 2009]

hhahahahahaahhahahah was this a comedy?.what the hell was sherri moon doing coming back as a casper ghost.this ruined the whole movie with all those laughable scenes of her.get rid of her.she died in the first move.zombie must be whipped because i can't think of any other reason to bring sherri moon back.another thing that ruined the movie was the fast headache editing during a lot of the kills.hard to tell what was going on most of the time.keep the camera on one view and leave it so we can see some gory murders.go see final destination and have fun at the movies without ghost wife's and crappy editing.do not go see this movie you will regret it.

Silent Venom (2009 Video)

watch it for krista allen

[5/10 · 24 May 2009]

this is one of the worst movies about killer snakes i have ever seen.the cgi is so bad it looks like a cartoon.you will laugh when it shows the giant cartoon looking snakes.the only reason i sat and watched all of this movie is because krista allen was in it.even with the brunette goddess in this it was tough to sit through.also Luke perry was in this so that is another reason to hate it along with horrible special effects.so if you are a krista allen fan i suggest on giving this a look but if you are not a fan you might as well forget about watching this because you will regret that you did.when will movie makers learn that cgi is to fake looking unless you have a big budget.

My Bloody Valentine (2009)

amazing

[10/10 · 19 January 2009]

i am a huge fan of the original my bloody valentine so i was excited to see this remake.it is not as good as the original but it is well worth seeing.i seen it twice.once in 2d and once in 3d.the 3d is so clear except for a few parts where they have things held out at you.for some reason sometimes it was a little blurry.but don't let that stop you from seeing this in 3d.the miner looked real scary and his uses his pick axe in every way possible to kill people.lots of brutal gory killings and a long full frontal nude scene and you have all the things that make a good slasher.so go out and see this in the theater and support it so they can make a sequel.

Hatchet (2006)

old school American horror.what a bunch of bull.

[7/10 · 5 April 2008]

this gets a 7 only because of the gore effects.like another viewer posted this was so over hyped.i was a teenager during the early 80's slasher boom so i can tell you this is no old school horror.this is way to slick and glossy looking to be old school.and what's up with the film trying to be a comedy.none of the true old school slasher flicks had stupid comedy like this did.the director even said he's not a big fan of horror combined with humor.but he must be a huge fan of the combination because we get way more failed attempts at humor than horror.then he says what's up with all these pg-13 horror movies.i'm a fan of Asian horror and a lot of those are pg-13.so what.if every horror movie had gore wouldn't that get boring.one thing those pg-13 horror films have that hatchet doesn't is that they aren't irritating comedies and they are scary and the actors can actually act.lets hope the hatchet sequel will be old school because this wasn't at all.

War (2007)

this should be called bore not war.

[5/10 · 24 August 2007]

so i bet everybody just can't wait to see a spectacular martial arts showdown between jason statham and jet li.well guess what.it doesn't happen.just got back from seeing this lame movie and i would like my money refunded.there is very little martial arts action in this movie.maybe a big five minutes worth of fighting.all there is in this movie is boring gunfight that we have seen in every action movie.i was waiting for the big fight scene between jet li and jason statham and when the met at the very end of the movie they fought for maybe a minute.yes you read that right.if you are a martial arts fan do not go see this movie.

Black Christmas (2006)

hahahhahaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahaahhaa

[5/10 · 30 December 2006]

comparing this remake to the 1974 slasher classic is like comparing jessica alba to rosanne.this stupid remake wasn't the least bit scary at all.the original is a scary well made slasher that totally blows away the movie that gets credit for being one of the first slasher movies.of course i'm talking about the way overrated halloween.if you want some graphic gore then you can't go wrong with the remake as it does have some good gory kills.the only reason it gets a 5 out of 10 is because of the gore.the killer whose name is billy was so scary in the original.in this one he's not scary at all.how could a short geek in red pajamas be scary.one more thing these bimbos in the remake aren't near as hot looking as the lovely olivia hussey.

Fangoria: Blood Drive II (2005 Video)

mistress juliya .howard berger and greg nicotero. WOW

[9/10 · 30 October 2006]

volume 2 of horror movie shorts is released from the worlds most expensive horror magazine.there are 8 short horror movies and i liked 5 of them.a couple of them were stupid comedy's that i found irritating not funny.but if you like gore you will find that here too.and as a bonus you get the hot and sexy mistress juliya hosting the DVD.now just that should be enough reason for any male to pick this up.also worth the price is a tour of knb studios.now if those three letters don't mean anything to you don't call yourself a horror fan.oh yea there is also an interview with irritating and overrated crappy actor bruce campbell if anybody cares.

Grizzly (1976)

grizzly is pretty dam good

[8/10 · 23 July 2006]

man am i ever sick of hearing about grizzly being a jaws ripoff.who cares.take this movie for what it is.exploitation animal run wild b horror movie.i have liked grizzly since i seen it on TV in the late 70's.but now i just got my official shriek show two disc DVD in the mail packed with extras.if you are a fan of 1970's killer animals on the loose horror movies then i suggest you grab yourself a copy of this DVD.how can you go wrong with a killer grizzly tearing apart horses women and children in gory killings.this is one of the best killer animals on the loose horror movies i have seen.now get on ebay and buy this DVD right now

Bog (1979)

hahahahahahahaha

[1/10 · 23 July 2006]

WOW where do i begin to describe this complete waste of time.i bought this on VHS for a dollar at a flea market and after watching it i realize that it is also the cost of the budget.the creature is so stupid and funny looking it could easily be on sesame street.but the puppets on sesame street are made way better.this is obviously a ripoff of humanoids from the deep about creatures from the sea that mate with females.humanoids from the deep is a classic and this pile of crap is a headache.the acting in this is worse than bruce campbells acting if you can believe that.no matter what you do do not watch this movie you will regret it.

Eating Schoolgirls: Osaka Telephone Club (1997)

brutal Japanese movie

[8/10 · 10 June 2006]

just when you thought you have seen everything demented and disgusting in a movie comes along eat the schoolgirl.there is something in this movie to just about offend anyone.intestines falling on the floor after this lady gets gutted and she picks them up and tries to stuff them back in is just one of the many scenes in this movie that will offend.this movie might be hard to track down but i suggest that if you like your horror brutal and sick then search this movie out.you will never see anything like this playing at a theatre that's for sure.just don't have anything to eat before you watch this movie believe me you will be sorry

TNA Wrestling: Phenomenal - The Best of AJ Styles (2004 Video)

incredible

[9/10 · 7 June 2006]

if you want to see fast paced high flying action forget the boring wwe and buy this DVD you will love it.aj styles does some unbelievable moves on this DVD that i have never seen done before.every match was good except the cage match with jeff jarret who i think does not have any talent at all.the only reason he is champion is because him and his dad own tna.no big deal having one dud match out of a two disc DVD .if you want something a bit more exciting than your lame ass john cena and boring big show you better go grab this incredible action packed DVD right now.you will see some really weird and high flying moves that you have never seen before.the only reason it gets a nine instead of a ten is because of the lame jeff jarret match

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

hot vampire chick

[8/10 · 7 June 2006]

wow. this new underworld movie is so much better than the first one .you can't even begin to compare the two.evolution has way more action and stunts than the first one and it has a hell of a lot more blood and gore something the first one lacked as far as i'm concerned.kate beckinsale is back once again as the vampiress selene and she kicks ass big time.there are a lot more werewolves this time around and lots of good battles with really gory results.so go buy this DVD right away if you like seeing a hot vampire brunette killing werewolves while wearing real tight leather outfits.lets hope selene comes back to kick ass again in another sequel

Beyond the Darkness (1979)

joe d'amato is a god

[10/10 · 4 June 2006]

another classic late seventies Italian gorefest by the late great joe d'amato.this is one twisted movie about a guy who digs up his girlfriend and preserves her and keeps her in his mansion.there is some great demented gore in this movie so i suggest if you are reading this that you buy this from shriek show who always put a awesome exploitation Italian horror.as a bonus on this incredible DVD you get a good interview with the lovely cinzia monreale who plays the dead girlfriend and her twin sister.she was in another classic Italian gorefest lucio fulci's the beyond playing the blind girl emily.so all you gorehounds stop reading and go get this masterpiece to add to your Italian horror DVD collection.

Toolbox Murders (2004)

awesome slasher movie

[10/10 · 4 June 2006]

finally a gory slasher movie that is comparable to the early eighties slashers.this remake kicks the crap out of the boring original that's for sure.hard to believe this was made buy the same guy that made that horrible comedy chainsaw massacre 2.tobe hooper has not made that many good movies besides this one there is the original chainsaw massacre and lifeforce.this movie has got some incredible and inventive gore scenes in it.the killer has a gory deformed face that kind of reminds me of the way darkman looks.no cgi in this movie at all and the location in the hotel is great dark and dreary.the return of the slasher film is here and it is called the tool box murders

Firecracker (1981)

horrible fight scenes

[4/10 · 4 June 2006]

this has some of the worst choreography i have ever seen in a martial arts movie and believe me i have seen a lot.the not bad looking blond who stars in this cheese fest obviously doesn't know a thing about martial arts.cynthia rothrock would laugh so hard if she seen this woman's pathetic fight scenes.as other people have mentioned is the fight scene where her dress gets ripped off of her body and the a sickle gets swung at her cutting off her bra leaving her wearing only her panties.if you want to see women who know how to fight get a DVD with cynthia khan or michelle yeoh and cynthia rothrock and stay away from this badly acted and badly choreographed pile of b-movie cheese

The Grim Reaper (1980)

george eastman is the man

[10/10 · 4 June 2006]

just got my 2 disc anthropophagus DVD in the mail the other day put out by those awesome folks at shriek show.this movie could have used a couple more gory killing in it but i'm not going to complain to much and what there is for gore in this Italian classic is pretty bloody and gory.george eastman is perfectly cast as the mad cannibal who stalks a boatload of tourists on an island.i am a huge fan of joe d'amato so when this came out i threw my old bootleg in the garbage.disc two has a sixty seven minute documentary and interview with d'amato so just that is reason enough to buy this DVD..so if you are a fan of gory and cheesy Italian horror buy this right away

Intruder (1989)

classic late 80's slasher

[10/10 · 4 June 2006]

this gorefest came out in 1989 and was butchered by the sensors of course.but if you get the uncut edition you will see lots of inventive graphic gory killings created by the masters of gore effects knb.i had to buy a bootleg dvdr from ebay but it was money well spent that's for sure.anybody with the slightest interest in 80's slasher movies must buy this movie.it is pretty much Friday the 13th in a grocery store but who cares none of these 80's slasher movies are ever original.we just like to see people get killed in the most inventive ways possible.so quit reading this and get on ebay and buy this right away if you are a true slasher fan you must own this slasher gorefest

The Burning (1981)

awesome 80's slasher

[10/10 · 4 June 2006]

forget that pile of crap scream and i know what you did last summer and watch the burning a real slasher and not a preppy slasher like the two i mentioned.they will never make slasher movies like the burning ever again unfortunately.besides high tension and toolbox murders remake nothing has come out besides wannabe slasher garbage.if you want to see very gory murders created by the god of gore effects tom savini then i suggest you get a copy and make sure it is uncut.this has a classic killer with a burned face picking off teenagers with his big pair of gardening shears.this is a Friday the 13th clone that has never had a sequel and i don't know why it is way better than most of the Friday sequels

Batman Begins (2005)

another boring superhero movie

[4/10 · 4 June 2006]

i have hated all the batman movies that were ever made so i wasn't expecting much when i seen this one.this is one long and dull movie.there is so much talking in this movie the should have called it batman speaks.and that irritating katie holmes doesn't help matters either playing batman's boring love interest.when you make a superhero movie Hollywood it sure would be nice if you had some action in it instead of a bunch of long dull and boring dialog.what a boring movie this is and i thought all the other batman movies were boring.i just can't wait for the the next superhero movie Hollywood put out because that means i'll be back on here telling you not to go see it just like i'm telling you not to go see this one.

BloodRayne (2005)

kristanna loken and lots of gore

[8/10 · 3 June 2006]

why does everybody hate this movie so much.come on guys we have the sexy kristanna loken killing in very gory ways.so whats not to like.who cares if it's a b-movie .at least i wasn't bored like i was watching lord of the trends i mean rings.this is a movie for gorehounds for sure.i was a huge fan of the video games and they made this movie just like the games.a hot female vampire killing people.the gore in this is incredible just like in the video game.this is way better than most of the crap that comes to theatre's.go buy this DVD right away because the more money this movie makes the better.i want to see kristanna come back and star in bloodrayne 2

Martial Law II: Undercover (1991 Video)

awesome martial arts movie

[7/10 · 10 September 2005]

the other person that reviewed this on IMDb must have seen a completely different movie than i did.everybody has their own opinion though.this stars two of my favorite martial arts actors.jeff wincott and cynthia rothrock.so you know there is going to be lots of good fight scenes in this movie.cynthia rothrock once again proves she is the queen of martial arts movies as she does some amazing kicks to the head in her many fight scenes.and just like he did in martial outlaw jeff wincott delivers some brutal kicks and punches to the villains.so my advice to anyone looking for a martial arts movie with lots of fighting in it should go buy this movie.

Martial Outlaw (1993 Video)

lots of martial arts action

[7/10 · 10 September 2005]

now here is a movie martial arts fans will definitely enjoy.i wish all of jeff wincott's movies were as action packed as this one is.i don't think you will be surprised to find out that the plot is nothing you haven't seen before in other b movies.but who cares about the plot in a martial arts movie.all us fans want to see is nonstop martial arts fighting and that is what you get in this movie.jeff wincott is awesome in this movie showing off some good high kicks to peoples skulls.this movie and martial law 2 are the best movies that jeff wincott has starred in that i have seen.this movie isn't as action packed as martial outlaw 2 but any martial arts movie fans will still really like this movie

Tough Beauty and the Sloppy Slop (1995)

what a waste of cynthia Hahn and yuen biao

[4/10 · 9 September 2005]

wow was this movie a big let down .it stars two of the best martial arts fighters i have ever seen and it doesn't do anything with them.cynthia Hahn is one sexy hot Asian goddess but she barely fights at all in this movie.yuen biao is also wasted in this movie and i don't know why since he is an incredible fighter.now any movie starring yuen biao and the lovely cynthia Hahn should have lots of martial arts fighting in wouldn't you think.but not this movie.they each have a few quick really brief fight scenes and that is all you get from them.unless you are a huge yuen biao and cynthia Hahn fan avoid this movie.the movie gets a 4 because cynthia is so hot looking.

Spider-Man (2002)

the comics were good but the movie isn't

[3/10 · 9 September 2005]

when i was younger i was a huge spiderman fanatic.i used to have lots of the spiderman comics.but after sitting down and watching this movie now i am not a spiderman fanatic anymore.if they would have concentrated on the action as much as they did on the boring waste of time love story i would have liked this.hard to believe sam raimi made this mainstream comic book bore since he is the one who made the awesome evil dead.of course most people who like this movie won't know that anyways because this movie was obviously intended for ten year old kids who wouldn't be interested in evil dead.since most movies that are based on comic books suck it isn't much of a surprise that this movie did too.stay away unless you're ten years old.