fad-38798 Reviews

Files of the Unexplained (2024– )

The lowest form of 'documentary'.

[1/10 · 15 April 2024]

Absolutely terrible.

Take a few opinions, find some material from Facebook / Instagram that supports the 'fact' you want to frame as sensational, add an interview from an emotional victim and we have 'Files of the Unexplained'.

If this is the standard for Netflix documentaries I'm not sure I'll bother with any more.

Evident with every episode that no effort has been taken to fact check the material presented by partisan 'experts'. Some old police records are taken as fact, some or not but no real explanation as to why, except for a talking head saying 'I think this...' or 'I think that...'. For a 'documentary' there is an alarming lack of scrutiny.

This is probably the worst TV I have seen in 2024. Maybe this decade...

Damsel (2024)

A film made as a cash grab on the under-12s.

[1/10 · 10 March 2024]

Simply, rubbish.

It's not often I watch. Film with no redeeming features but this is one of them.

It is a glitzy mish-mash of tired old tropes led by a 'damsel' who is equal parts olympic athlete, warrior, engineer and fire-proof.

We have so much CGI it should have been made as an animated feature. At least then the acting would have been better.

And speaking of acting. There is very little, probably the best by Robyn Wright but I think that might be from habit and not direction.

The lead is very poor, from fluctuating accent to performance, some of which i will put down to having to 'act' in front of a green screen while looking at a broom.

This is an unabashed cash grab from youngsters pestering parents for pay-to-view. Everyone involved should be ashamed for cashing the cheque and giving nothing in return.

Argylle (2024)

Very Hallmark...

[1/10 · 5 March 2024]

Before you rip me a new one, remember this is my opinion only.

Cavill has killed his chances of ever being Bond with this film. And I doubt it has enhanced the career of anyone else associated with it.

The film has nothing new to offer. The plot is a re-tread, more than one big-name has phoned in their performance (Cena, I'm looking at you, but you're not alone). The script is poor, the dialogue not convincing and acting a tad wooden.

I'm struggling to find a redeeming feature. I couldn't even muster a laugh at Cavill's haircut even though it deserved one.

And speaking of Mr Cavill. This is one of his worst performances, although playing the same character is nearly everything he appears in must be a bit tiring.

Anyway, I think everyone gave it their best go so I won't ask for my money back.

Death and Other Details (2024)

Poor start, now in dumpster fire territory

[2/10 · 20 February 2024]

I watched this because it has two actors I respect, Mandy Patinkin and Rahul Kohli.

Started out as a 'Glass Onion' rip-off, progressed into a tedious 'culprit of the week' rut ringing various cultural bells en-route. The truth about the boat is where we jump the shark.

And on episode 7 we go all Freaky Friday...

Character development is poor, what there is, is centered on our female anti-hero who frankly doesn't have that much of an interesting backstory.

The script is poorly paced but well delivered by an engaged and talented cast. The plot and central conceit are very poor, whole story could have been the Glass Onion crew's 'Murder on the Nile' moment but fails abysmally.

If you are going to tell a purposely convoluted story, at least do it well. So far, Episode 7 is just lazy.

Anyway, don't think I'll watch the last episode, not worth the the investment, and after seven episodes thats saying something.

The Truth About Jim (2024)

How not to make a documentary.

[1/10 · 18 February 2024]

This documentary is very poor. I should have listened to the other reviewers and not wasted my time.

Essentially, a grand-daughter believes her step-grandfather (Jim) was a serial killer.

No evidence is presented, the whole premise is based on familial horror stories of a very unpleasant man.

The style is essentially a monologue from the step-grand-daughter interspersed with led interviews of other family members who present an example of bad behaviour. No male members of this large extended family are interviewed until Episode 3.

The narrator (grand-daughter), makes unsupported leaps of logic to make connections and is careful to place her emphasis on certain facts and not others. Likewise, the narrator speculates to fill in gaps, yet presents these speculations as facts themselves.

In episode 3 a 'Zodiac Expert' is introduced to force a connection between the narrators step-grandfather and the Zodiac Killer. No explanation is given to support this 'Expert' status although this random bloke does say he is not a policeman or connected to the police. No evidence is presented to say 'Jim' was ever considered by the police or FBI.

Episode 4 introduces a former FBI profiler. This is a paid for slot, and I would ask for my money back, the profile is so generic even I would fit the profile. Then we are introduced to a random private investigator who sets the scene for a DNA sample analysis from Jim's old belongings. When we get to the DNA analyst, he seems confused. He cannot remember what item the DNA came from, but we can definitely say it is Jims. Eh? The whole process is presented as something important, but in reality, Jim has so many children a useable male familial DNA match could be constructed from that. No need for the made up DNA process in the documentary.

Anyway, the evidence is compiled and it is taken to the Sonoma County sheriff's office. The interview was un-filmed, but we are told in a contrived car conversation that despite many others making similar claims to the Sheriff, they 'we're going to look at this..."

The documentary ends with a generic statement saying the police continue to consider all information etc. And a cold case investigator is looking into it. Doesn't come anymore generic than that.

Overall, a complete waste of time.

Not sure if the cameraperson using a tripod to steady the image would have helped.

Monsieur Spade (2024)

Well filmed tedious existentialism that fails the sum of its parts.

[3/10 · 28 January 2024]

It is slow. Very slow.

This slowness does not build suspense it builds tedium.

Good pacing can save a poor story, here we have a mediocre story pummelled by poor storytelling at a glacial pace.

The cinematography, sets, lighting and camera work are excellent. Great use of colour to capture the sixties.

The acting is variable. Individually it can be very good, as part of a ensemble it can appear strained, especially any actor having to sit through a Monsieur Spade monotonous monologue where the dialogue frequently makes little sense. A kind of word salad delivered like a performance in its own right.

Use of flashbacks is poor, both visually and context. I was never clear on their purpose until long after, when the story had progressed past me caring.

And Clive Owen's accent is atrocious, both his French and American, very distracting.

3/10, must try harder.

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

I expected better

[4/10 · 20 January 2024]

Unbelievably derivative coupled with no imagination.

While it has scale, it lacks scope, very little is developed, just ideas thrown at a wall to see what sticks, then that is ignored for something new and sparkly on another wall. And that goes on for over two hours.

I was unsure as to what I was watching, was it a rip off of Star Wars or Games of Thrones? Harry Potter or Star Trek? Every scene has been done in another movie, dialogue is repetitive, even the scenes that add nothing to the story.

Acting is uneven, dialogue is strained, delivered in a portentous whisper or a weird abstract accent, just because...

The story lacks structure. It's a convoluted Seven Samurai / Magnificent Seven mish-mash where the originality stems from there being six, not seven protagonists.

Standard tropes are held out such as Asian woman being good at martial arts and having swords, black guy with dreadlocks, bad guys with blue skin and acne, boss bad guy dresses like a nazi. The usual stuff.

Anyway, not holding my breath for the next instalment and I think the 'Snyder Brand' has suffered a heavy hit. I can see why Disney turned it down.

Beacon 23 (2023– )

A swing and a miss...

[1/10 · 10 December 2023]

Two stars for the acting.

This programme is what you get with good actors who have a poor script and the very minimum of story.

I have never seen such a patronising and poorly written story put on screen. Every science fiction cliché is shoehorned in at some point (just made it to episode 6 but won't be going any further) but poorly managed and it appears added because it could be added.

The pace of storytelling is painfully slow, the conceit of the AI being the singular (and unreliable) narrator doesn't work because the 'character' lacks depth and seems at times incompetent. As the all-seeing operator it doesn't see much.

Anyway, pulling the pin on this one. A shame, as there is little intelligent science fiction on TV at the moment, but this just isn't working.

The Curse (2023– )

Good idea poorly executed.

[3/10 · 17 November 2023]

So far, I don't think it has what it takes.

Despite very good acting and delivery, great production values and excellent minor cast I don't think it delivers.

The concept is interesting but the delivery lacks pace. Either too much is happening or the build up is too long and the denouement too weak to justify the time and effort. Frustratingly so.

I realise the objective is to highlight the cringe factor of human situations but it comes across as contrived, a series of very variable sketches lacking form, and while it tells a story, it's a tedious story that telegraphs the ending.

Overall, pretty post-modern but fails to deliver what counts.

Trancers 6 (2002 Video)

Rubbish, through and through.

[1/10 · 14 November 2023]

I enjoyed Trancers 1 through 5. Classic 'B' Movies.

Tim Thomerson carries the previous films, he has screen presence and carries the movies through a variety of short-comings by sheer personality and humour.

Which brings us to the 6th instalment. Oh dear...

There is no Tim Thomerson. All the previous 5 instalments failures are repeated a plenty in this single film, with no real actor to provide support or guidance, a contrived plot, poor script, terrible dialogue and zero delivery.

Direction appears non-existent, perhaps with some professional guidance the film would be less of a toilet and the actors have aspired to a better performance. When the director sets the bar so low, poor actors will not aspire to better.

I wish I had not seen this film. I really don't.

Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)

Will only be loved by fanboi's

[1/10 · 29 October 2023]

I know nothing of the game so reviewing it as the 'horror' film it claims to be.

It's no horror film. I've seen scarier adverts.

While the film has great visuals, these visuals are limited to the animatronics and half a derelict pizza place.

What acting there is, is good. Likewise the soundtrack.

But where it all falls apart is the paper thin plot, that is told rather than shown.

First third of the movie is merely an exemplar to explain the game. The rest an extremely linear story that fails to explain itself.

At no point is there any horror. Not even an atmospheric build-up.

While the animatronics are good that in itself does not make a good film.

I'm told the idea comes from a very popular game. No doubt these fanbois will think me a heretic who 'does not get it'. But I'm a movie-goer, not a gamer and this very poor film was at the movies.

Keep in mind I'm reviewing the film, not the game.

Foundation (2021– )

If you enjoyed the books, you'll enjoy this divergent TV show.

[9/10 · 10 September 2023]

If you have read the books and enjoyed them, this show will not diminish that.

The story is divergent enough to still be intriguing and engaging without trampling on your memories.

The production values, CGI and concept of visuals are stunning.

Minor new characters have fleshed out stories that both contribute and support the richness of the story.

While nearly all performances are very good, Lee Pace stands out through his powerful manically tinged performance and literally carries half the show single handedly. The other half of the show requires a lot of attention as Jared Harris acts a complex multi-facted (literally) character that fills the spaces between Lee Pace's Empire with backstory and detail.

To be honest, I was a bit wary when I heard the Jewel of the Science Fiction genre, Asimov's Foundation Trilogy was going to be attempted for TV. In practice, the show is a very good sidewise adaptation that results in a most entertaining tv show while not tarnishing the original material.

Put preconceptions aside and give it a go, I hope you will be as presently surprised as I.

Otherwise, watch it simply for the performance of Lee Pace.

Marlowe (2022)

More wooden than a wood thing.

[1/10 · 8 July 2023]

Absolutely terrible film.

All the actors seem to think a 'detective noir' means no acting required.

Beside poor acting we have a weak story and poor dialogue that is poorly delivered.

The CGI is good, about the only redeeming aspect, until you get to the end of the film with CGI overload.

I cannot see a reason for this film to exist, unless the streaming service thought they might be able to con the viewer into thinking it was a real Chandler story and not fan fiction.

The big mystery is how they managed to get Lange involved? She is criminally underused but does do her best with terrible lines.

Neeson has been dining out on Schindlers List for 40 years, if this is the best he can do, happen he should hang up his boots.

Anyway, you have been warned...

Star Wars: Visions (2021– )

Mostly boring, mostly niche.

[2/10 · 10 May 2023]

The skill of the animators is high in nearly every episode and they act as a good showpiece for their work.

Unfortunately, not much else is positive.

The stories are niche, very much second to the art.

The stories are mostly boring, but nice to look at.

Dialogue, music and everything that is not visual seems second rate, including much of the voice over work.

The skill of the animators is high in nearly every episode and they act as a good showpiece for their work.

Unfortunately, not much else is positive.

The stories are niche, very much second to the art.

The stories are mostly boring, but nice to look at.

Dialogue, music and everything that is not visual seems second rate, including much of the voice over work.

The Wandering Earth II (2023)

A solid science fiction film. Enjoy!

[8/10 · 16 April 2023]

Very good story, has vision, has action and has heart. The story is told from multiple points of view, with characters that one can relate to, even the morally challenging characters are presented with potential to be redeemed.

The film itself is well acted, with very good effects and this carries the story. The film comes in at just under 3 hours but it didn't seem like it. It's a big story, it uses the running time well.

Dialogue is good, even the subtitles and well delivered, photography, score and editing are very professional; shows the China film industry can deliver as well as Hollywood and Bollywood. Bodes well for the future.

The uncharitable could say the film is a projection of soft power by China, I enjoyed it as science fiction story told on a grand scale and took it at face value. It's entertainment (and good entertainment).

I hope you enjoy the film as much as I did. I enjoyed Wandering Earth I, I enjoyed Wandering Earth II better.

Django (2022– )

This could have been very good.

[3/10 · 26 March 2023]

But it's not.

Assuming you have HDR on your TV and you can see what is happening...

The story is convoluted and the flashbacks not handled very well.

The acting is very variable, even by the recognised names.

While the photography is good, it does not make up for the bad acting. Characters performances vary between wooden to manic.

And the accents. Very poor, especially Ms Rapace, most distracting.

The Django character has appeared in several spaghetti westerns over the last fifty years. This series does follow in the established genre but has sacrificed clarity for pretentiousness.

If they make a remake, remember to turn the lights on.

Vesper (2022)

Tedious, miserable and boring but well shot.

[3/10 · 6 October 2022]

The technical bits are all very good, well shot, good cinematography, appropriate (and miserable music) and generally good acting, not that good acting was really needed given the script was inert.

I found the story weak, the pacing glacial and the plotting very poor. As a result, no tension, no real character development and a complete lack of cohesion.

And that miserable score, terrible.

The whole film could have been an effective 15 minute short and had more impact.

This is a film that will not improve anyone's CV.

I have no idea why this film exists except as an exercise in individual crafts. Some are good, most are bad, but none combine to create a film as a whole.

I did watch it tpo the very end hoping for enlightenment, but it's nearly two disappointing hours I won't get back...

La Brea (2021–2024)

So bad, it's bad. Really bad.

[1/10 · 5 October 2022]

A show with no redeeming characteristics.

Poor acting, very poor script, cheesy acting and zero direction.

So bad, the wooden actors actually look and sound like they are reading a script. Every line is delivered like it is the most important plot device in the series, every nodding head after a line is delivered is amateurish, one step above the actors mouthing each other's lines like a school play.

Every actor thinks they are the star, every actor acts like they are in experimental class. Simply terrible. Who greenlit this?

I have no comment about the director or lack of direction. Obviously, there was none, and I suspect the director simply dialled it in, which when you think about it is pretty impressive.

Looking forward to hearing it's been cancelled.

House of Hammer (2022)

Two hours too long.

[1/10 · 2 September 2022]

Armie Hammer has some serious questions to answer.

Unfortunately, this 'documentary' does no favours to the victims. They are portrayed in a poor manner, not only have they been used by Armie but also by the documentary makers. This sensationalism devalues their stories and possibly undermines any criminal case to be made. The aunt just comes across as bitter, and I had to laugh at the closing credits on her final scene, so very internet culture. Overall a very repetitive programme, and while Arnie comes across as a very dodgy individual, the "revelations" about the rest of family will only be news to anyone who has never read a history book.

Each episode ends reminding us that the police are kinda looking into this, but as yet no charges have been brought. The longer it is until any charges are brought, the worse this 'documentary' series will age.

On a personal note, I think Arnie is a crap actor, no wonder his movies bomb...

Moonhaven (2022)

Tedious. Poor story, poorly told

[1/10 · 4 August 2022]

This show has no redeeming qualities.

Uses old tropes in unoriginal ways, the story is poor and unnecessarily complicated. The language is stilted and not well delivered, the acting is terrible (and I think poorly cast).

While the show strives for bleak it delivers boring, tedious and unsatisfying.

Absolutely nothing original.

Underbelly: Vanishing Act (2022)

Overly long, overly boring

[3/10 · 16 April 2022]

The same story could have been told in half the time with no loss of coherence and probably making a lot more interesting programme.

As it stands, far too much time spent looking at things, looking out of windows and watching people walk, none of which adds anything to the story or informs us about the characters.

Thinking about it, it's really boring. I thought because it was part of the 'Underbelly' stories it would be tight and gripping showing Australian society from a certain perspective. What I got was a waste of time.

Top Boy (2011–2023)

Top show, innit?

[9/10 · 7 April 2022]

Watch the first two seasons from 2011 and 2012 before the slightly lesser Netflix seasons, gives context to the complex relationship between Dushane and Sully and all that ensues.

I'd heard a lot about Top Boy but always skipped it thinking it typical Channel 4 fare, all noise and no story.

Anyway, not a lot on at the moment so gave it a ago. I was wrong, this is top quality character driven TV, and what great characters!

The first two series manage to be a tremendous story and also social commentary, the Netflix seasons a good story, well presented but the social commentary not handled as well.

Kudos to Channel 4 for creating this, a real gem of British TV, it's up there with The Wire, Sopranos, and Breaking Bad.

Glad I was proved wrong.

The Witchfinder (2022)

Why?

[1/10 · 19 March 2022]

I watched this on the strength of This Country which I really enjoyed.

I did not enjoy this. It is well the BBC tell me in the product description that it is s comedy, I would not have known otherwise.

It is insensitive. While supposedly 'race blind' casting, this does not apply to the slave role.

I made it through one episode. I won't be watching another.

The Guardians of Justice (Will Save You!) (2022– )

Less than the sum of its parts.

[2/10 · 18 March 2022]

It's not very subtle, and it's not very good.

It's almost as if Netflix set itself a challenge of how to use their considerable resources to develop something below mediocre.

Good production values, cheesy dialogue (intended?), poor acting and poor delivery, and the dumbest plot possible.

And why wildly fluctuating media?

More a collection of vignettes connected by voice-overs. Works for a couple of episodes but not much beyond that.

By episode 4 I felt I was watching a children's programme but the subject matter and language belays that. Most confusing.

Anyway, if you have time to waste, watch yourself and make your own mind up. Who knows, in forty years it might be a classic?

Naomi (2022)

Lazy.

[1/10 · 2 March 2022]

Unoriginal story, poor acting, fairly decent production values for what it is.

Unfortunately, what it is is not very good.

The Flash and Arrow are far better both in story, script and acting, so not sure why Naomi (and Black Lightning and Stargirl) are so below par considering they share so much in production, direction and story.

One of the key weaknesses is the acting, a good actor can make good with a poor story and script. Unfortunately a poor actor will reduce the best story and script to something like Naomi...

Watch it if you are a DC TV universe completist, if a casual viewer, give it a miss, there is better out there.