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aaronsciortino
Reviews
Fresh Meat: Episode #1.2 (2011)
Mediocre
There's a few very funny moments here and there, but this episode overall is just a bit dull and forgettable. Like most episodes of this show it has some very funny quotes, and right off the bat JP and Howard are already very funny and loveable characters. This just really lacks an interesting or compelling storyline or any remarkable events to really make it stand out as a memorable episode. It does have a distinctive storyline about the house mates deciding to throw a party, it's just really not that funny or entertaining compared to other episodes of this show. It's also quite inconsistent with laughs, there's some hilarious quotes once every now and then, but then it slows right down. Not the greatest episode overall.
Parks and Recreation: The Master Plan (2010)
Simply not funny
Yet another episode with not a single laugh or anything close.
Parks and Recreation: Leslie's House (2010)
Mediocre
Such a shame that after such a lackluster first season, season 2 started off strong and then just quickly lost steam and fell flat on it's face. The scripts for these later season 2 episodes are severely lacking any jokes or interesting and memorable storylines just like the first season and it's trying to figure out what to do with the characters and nothing is working. This Jerry character is not funny in the slightest. He's just this boring, fat old guy with absolutely no charisma or personality and he's only purpose to the show is that everyone in the office bully's him. If anything he's character is really more sad than funny. Mark has got to be the most boring character ever to appear on anyone's tv screen and the human equivalent of a white wall, and this storyline with Andy being jealous of Ann and Mark has dragged on far longer than necessary. All the episodes have the most completely random, weird and unfunny storylines which I'm not seeing the point of at all. We've had an episode about two penguins getting married, an episode about a f#@king power bar being unhealthy, an episode about everyone in the office doing paintings ect. And I'm still not seeing what the purpose is of a show being about working in a parks department. All this could maybe at least work if it had a funnier set of characters like the office which it's desperately trying to be but not with this lackluster cast of characters.
Parks and Recreation: Sweetums (2010)
Boring and not funny at all
This episode had a lame and uninteresting plot and zero jokes in the script.
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
Extremely repetative
Interesting to watch at first, but as soon as you realise that it's the exact same story being repeated over and over again there's no point in watching it anymore. The orphans find a new home and think they're safe their, count olaf shows up in a disguise and mr poe doesn't believe them, they expose his tattoo, they escape. They find a new home and think they're safe their this time, count olaf shows up in a disguise and Mr poe doesn't believe them this time, they expose his tattoo, they escape. They think they must be safe this time, but count olaf shows up again in a different disguise, Mr poe doesn't believe them for this third time. They expose his tattoo, they escape. It's basically this exact same story for every book in the series just with a different home for the orphans and disguise for count olaf, and some of them are absolutely boring with the challenge they face and how they escape. No creativity at all in the writing
Mallrats (1995)
Boring directing work
How to direct a Kevin Smith movie:
Hold the camera infront of the characters while they talk. That's it. Just keep the same shot going for the entire scene and don't even bother trying to anything remotely interesting with the camera work or filming equipment. Just as long as you can see the characters and hear them talking, that's all that matters.
Complaints aside, a lot of the dialogue in the script is pretty funny which I give it some credit for, I'd be lying if I said the movie just wasn't funny at all. Although at the same time as having funny dialogue, it's also excruciating to watch with how unbelievably boring the camera work is, how basically it's directed and how little thought or effort is put into the direction work. It's like there wasn't even a storyboard drawn for it, they just decided to hold the camera infront of the characters so you can see them talking and did this for every scene in the movie without even bothering to think of any interesting shots. Probably the worst and most boring cinematography of any movie ever. Also, it barely has a plot. It's just about two guys going to hang out at the mall cause they got dumped by their girlfriends? Could be somewhat interesting if they got up to a bit more while they were at the mall but most of it was just watching them walking around and their day at the mall wasn't even that eventful for a movie
The Big Bang Theory (2007)
The worst excuse for "comedy" ever to hit tv screens
There have been geek sitcoms before the big bang theory that were actually funny. Spaced and the it crowd. The big bang theory takes on the geek sitcom formula and it does it painfully wrong. All it does is come up with the most cliched and generic ideas possible of what a nerd is (wears glasses, likes comic books and superheroes and can't talk to girls) and it just shows that and that's what the jokes are accompanied by a laugh track loud and constant enough to make your ears bleed. Spaced and the it crowd went far beyond typical nerd stereotypes to create actual humour out of the characters being nerds (e.g getting fired from job for hating the phantom menace so much, punching someone in the face for hating a superhero ect) whereas the big bang theory can't think of any jokes to make so the jokes are just the nerd stereotypes. Haha laugh cause they're at a comic book store, what nerds. Haha laugh cause they're talking about superheroes, that's what nerds do right?
It's a show about nerds for idiots who know nothing about nerds
Teachers (2001)
Boring
Watched the first episode of this. Says it's meant to be a comedy drama but it hasn't been the slightest bit funny at any stage and I'm still not seeing the comedy side of it at all.
Housos (2011)
Garbage
As an Australian, I apologise for this unfunny, stupid cringeworthy mess of a show
Fresh Meat: Episode #1.7 (2011)
Best episode of series 1
Consistently funny, the scene with JP and kingsley hiding in the bathroom together goes down as one of the greatest comedy scenes in history
Fresh Meat: Episode #1.6 (2011)
Amazing
The first episode where you start to truly fall in love with the show. Really funny and also very emotional and heartfelt, the scene with JP and Oregon's horse is definately a highlight of the show that puts a lump in your throat
Fresh Meat: Episode #1.4 (2011)
Not the greatest episode
One of the more boring and forgettable episodes of fresh meat. Doesn't really have much of a storyline at all and very slow. A few really funny quotes in it
Fresh Meat: Episode #1.1 (2011)
Great start
A really good first episode to the show. I love how awkward it is throughout the whole episode and it becomes really nostalgic later on in the series. Plenty of the most classic funny quotes of the show are in this episode. It has an amazing, beautiful ending song for the final scene and credits, which I'm fairly sure was composed just for the show. Song My only complaint is it feels a bit slow, has a bit too many boring scenes that drag a bit.
Fresh Meat: Episode #1.5 (2011)
One of the weakest episodes of fresh meat
Definately the worst episode of series 1. It just feels a bit random and pointless, following this student protest when there's never been any mention about an upcoming protest in any of the previous episodes and it just wasn't interesting to follow at all. Not really any funny moments in it, quite a bland episode
Fresh Meat: Episode #2.6 (2012)
Fresh meat at it's absolute best
Without a doubt this is the best episode of fresh mest. Almost an hour of just non stop gut busting laughter. All the scenes with JP stuck on the ledge are absolutely hilarious and I'll never forget how hard I laughed all throughout this episode the first time I saw it
The Hateful Eight (2015)
Absolute snoozefest
With no exaggeration, this is probably the most boring movie I've ever seen. Way, waaay too long for a film with such little plot to offer. 3 hours of watching a group of people sitting around in a cabin, having pointless conversations that go on forever and walking around in the snow while they wait for a blizzard to go away. That's legitamitely what this movie is about. Everything about this just feels absolutely tedious. I've seen slow films before but the extent of slowness that this film reaches is just ridiculous, you need serious caffeine to be able to stay awake through this. Trust me when I say THIS. MOVIE. IS. SLOW. Very, very, unbelievably slow. You might be better off watching paint drying instead
Workaholics (2011)
Immature and stupid
A show where legimately more than half of it's humour is dick jokes. I hate that it does this but for some reason It always constantly feels the need to resort to dumb juvenile humour for middle schoolers in every episode, it's actually a challenge to find one episode of this show that doesn't have a long conversation about dicks, and sometimes there's even entire episodes about dicks. after a while it really starts to get on your nerves that this is all the humour they can ever think of and groan so much whenever you hear the dreaded word "dick". It's the writers go to every time they make one genuinely funny clever joke once in a blue moon and can't think of anymore material, talk about dicks for five minutes, make dumb simplistic jokes about them that require no creativity or cleverness whatsoever (ugh your dick is so small, my dick looks like blah blah blah), or base the plot for the entire episode around dicks. This show is honestly so stupid, if you're older than the age of 12 with a matured adult sense of humour and not in middle school anymore I really wouldn't recommend. It feels like a show for a juvenile 12 year old who just discovered sex and find swear words and dick, poop and fart jokes funny. It gets a 4 only for it's occasional actually funny content, but the immature juvenile humour it constantly resorts to for the majority of every episode really couldn't possibly be any less funny and becomes unbearable at points
Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (2016)
one of the most pointless sequels ever made
dear god this movie was awful... seriously what on earth was the point of this movie being made? you want to know what the plot of this movie is? it's literally just an exact rehash of the first movie only this time the people living next door are a sorority house of girls rather than a frat house of boys and it's only used as feminist propaganda. that's the plot right there which is terrible. it made no sense, because the whole concept of the first movie which made it so good is that the frat house of boys keep partying hard and pulling pranks and that's why the neighbors go to war and they're trying to get rid of them. in this one, why are they trying to get rid of their neighbors? they didn't do any good pranks, they didn't throw all these awesome parties, they did nothing. there was not a single laugh throughout the whole entire movie, the comedic deliverance was just absolutely pathetic it was nothing but just a bunch of weed, d!ck and period jokes. all the slapstick was done with really poor fake looking cgi so it's impossible to laugh at since it just looks way too fake, and the whole movie was filled with really cringey, overly obvious, AND completely wrong feminist propaganda being shoved down your throat. for example the sorority girls claim that the college housing committee is sexist towards women because they get kicked out of the house more easily which is obviously not true, they call zac efron's character sexist because he called them gross for throwing their bloody tampons at a window, and in one scene a women says "that's not sexist if it's against guys". also there's a scene where two guys get married and kiss to support gay marrage. this movie was clearly only made for political correctness, and they achieved by just completely rehashing a funny movie and ruining it. awful, utterly pointless sequel.
Fresh Meat (2011)
a show that will have you laughing and crying through every episode
absolutely brilliant show. for starters it is unbelievably funny. it is up to this day the best show I have ever watched for shock humour and has some of the craziest hilarious things happening. I don't think I will ever see anything greater in a comedy show than a guy getting stuck on a cliff and surviving by jumping on to his friend's head, or a dentist accidentally drilling a whole through their patients cheek. the show is consistently full of very funny dialogue and intriguing and interesting conversations and debates which Seinfeld fans would love. the characters are amazing, anyone just has to love JP he's probably the greatest party animal character ever created, even better than stiffler. there is a very fun teen party vibe to the show where the housemates are always doing drugs, playing drinking games throwing toga parties, turning a whole room into a bong room.the drama in the show is very interesting as it focuses on the lives of university students as they are stressing to cope with university life. failing exams, getting kicked off of courses, trying to sort out their future, financial issues, sleeping with the wrong people etc. it also focuses on stress of living with housemates such as friends keeping secrets from each other, relationships, paying rent and issues with the house. the show uses this beautiful piano music piece written by the show writers themselves which is played in multiple episodes, every time it's played it creates an amazing emotional vibe. some scenes are very emotional and guaranteed to put a lump in your throat. this is definitely a must watch