Galdhr Reviews

Bad Education (2022)

Worth the watch!

[8/10 · 1 November 2023]

This film is a brilliant depiction of how easily things can get out of hand - especially an influenced hand.

We see three young lads on a rooftop enjoying their "last night" together, before life takes them their separate ways. What starts as a typical teenage game of bonding and sharing secrets, soon devolves into an action packed nightmare for the boys.

The atmosphere was great from the beginning, beautiful cinematography, good acting and a suspenseful air that didn't let up. A thoroughly enjoyable watch all around, and a big plus for evoking some thought as well.

**Be warned that the movie depicts two cases of sexual assault and some mild gore.**

Leatherface (2017)

Nonsensical disappointment.

[2/10 · 25 June 2021]

They present us with someone who is the absolute embodiment of Leatherface as a kid/teen, he's big, burly, strong, violent and silent. Perfect. But is it him? Nope.

Surpise! It's the scrawny kid, totally normal and talkative too! And he's totally crushing on his nurse, isn't that adorable? This perfectly normal prettyboy just happened to turn into the Leatherface we know because of family pressure and a random disfigurement with a blow to the head. What?

I don't know what they were thinking with this concept. I suppose next we'll get the story of how Hannibal Lecter actually grew up as a vegan hillbilly with an IQ of 10 and somehow was pressured into becoming the most sophisticated opera-loving wine-drinking cannibal ever. Hell, even that'd be more beliavable than this.

Had this been a movie of it's own and completely separate of the whole franchise, it could've been an okey basic slasherflick but as it is? Just horrible, nonsensical and disappointing.

I'm just going to pretend I never even saw this, or that the other kid was actually the real Leatherface.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)

Warmed the heart of an 80's kid

[8/10 · 24 June 2021]

A great improvement from the first movie which honestly was a bit of a let-down.

The sequel seemed to be more true to the original comics/cartoons and the addition of Bebop, Rocksteady and Krang was purely awesome. Just seeing those characters come to life gave me such stupidly geekish joy that that alone made it more than worth the watch. It was also nice to see they put more effort into actually showing more of the turtles' individual personalities. The pace is fast, the effects are great and you're likely not to get bored, assuming you love TMNT.

Is it a memorable Academy Award-worthy movie? Nope. But for a kid of the 80's it sure was an entertaining, warmly nostalgic and fun one. Loved it.

House of Deadly Secrets (2018 TV Movie)

Meh

[2/10 · 23 June 2021]

One of those very predictable TV-movies that you end up watching when you've simply got nothing else to do. It was watchable and the acting wasn't all too bad, but you're better off just skipping it unless you seriously have nothing else to do.

We Summon the Darkness (2019)

Fun little slashery madness

[5/10 · 23 June 2021]

Going into these types of movies with pretty much zero expectations seems to be an effective tactic. We Summon the Darkness ended up being a fun little surprise with that being said.

The pace is a bit slow in the beginning but it picks up pretty fast, the twists are entertaining and the acting isn't that bad either so it's an easy watch. The plot centers around the satanic panic of the 80's and 90's and if you aren't really familiar with that then the movie might seem a bit far fetched or strange to you, but it does ring true to the times.

If you're just looking for a some fun slashery madness and not expecting any serious horror then give this movie a go!

Grotesque (2009)

"Would you die for me? Just kidding!"

[7/10 · 21 June 2021]

This is the line spoken by Aki to Kazuo at the end of their first date, just seconds before being snatched up by the stinky Doctor. Well the Doctor sure wasn't kidding. No wait, turns out he actually was kidding too.

I was debating whether I dare watch this movie or not based on the things I had read, but curiosity got the best of me. Gotta say, not nearly as horrific as what my imagination had conjured up based on all the reviews, but still a pretty grim watch nonetheless.

Don't be fooled, Grotesque it is definitely gruesome, nasty and what you might call 'torture-porn' but; a lot of reviews will lead you to believe that absolutely everything is shown in such horrific detail that you will be vomiting for life - it's not. Many things are implied or hidden with clever camera-angles.

For example you are not shown anything at all in the scenes where the doctor doodles them both to completion; the girl has a skirt on the whole time and you just see a ton of fluids flying around which honestly made a scene that's supposed to be horrific seem more comedic than anything, was she hiding twenty waterballoons underneath her skirt?

The scene where nails are being hammered into the mans peaches isn't shown either, only a few split-second closeups that are so fast and so close that they might as well be hairpins in a muffin, you can barely tell. And his banana being sliced off is neither shown, only the doc holding it in his hand afterwards.

The most dreadful aspect of Grotesque is in the overall physical and emotional pain the victims are put through as well as the cool and calm sadism of the stinky Doctor, as you begin to realize the victims really have no way out and there was never going to be a happy ending for them no matter what he made them believe.

All in all, Gurotesuku is definitely a grim and grisly flick and the final torture-scene is especially gut-wrenching, literally. The overall tone was dark and menacing from the very start, with soothing and cutesy flashbacks to the couples first date, which was an effective contrast.

The actors did a fantastic job, and the female victims' speech at the end is absolutely epic as the Doctor gets his ass verbally handed to him. Just that scene alone made it more than worth the watch.

Hope this was at least somewhat helpful to someone who is debating whether to give this movie a chance or not. Watch at your own discretion though.

Don't Breathe (2016)

Total breath of fresh air, so take a breath!

[7/10 · 21 June 2021]

Don't Breathe presents you with a unique scenario which is very likely to keep you hooked and almost holding your own breath.

There's very little dialogue and that proves to be effective. They did a fantastic job with capturing the atmosphere of non-stop tension and anxiety and it is almost as if your own senses get hightened too as you wince at every little creak and crackle.

And the brilliant cherry on top is that you might find yourself flip-flopping between who you are even rooting for here, if anyone at all.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

Snoozefest

[2/10 · 20 June 2021]

Incredibly dull and eventless. I suppose this might be a 10/10 for those who thought the Blair Witch Project was the scariest thing ever. So if you love it when there's this feeling that something might happen soon but absolutely nothing happens except a few minor jumpscares, this just be might the movie for you.

Creep 2 (2017)

A sequel that does not disappoint

[8/10 · 20 June 2021]

If you enjoyed Creep, you will very likely enjoy the sequel as well.

The premise is pretty much the same and again we see the events through a videocamera, but from a different starting point. Our creep formerly known as 'Josef' who now goes by the name of his victim from the first movie (Aaron), wants to make a documentary about his exploits as a profilic serial killer, so he hires a struggling video-blogger named Sara to do the job.

One might wonder if there's any meat left on the bones to fill up a sequel with since we already know how twisted this guy is based on the first Creep, but yes there definitely is, plenty of meat. This guy is such an unpredictable maniac with his pants perpetually on fire that you're at times just as confused as the poor Sara as to what is actually going on, what is real, what is true and what is going to happen.

Rarely is a sequel as good or even better than the first movie, but 'Creep 2' definitely manages to out-creep 'Creep' and the acting is absolutely top-notch.

Creep (I) (2014)

The definition of 'creepy'

[8/10 · 20 June 2021]

If you are expecting fast paced action, gruesome violence or gore - skip this movie.

Creep is a surprisingly realistic, slow-burning film with a very disturbing undertone throughout. If you're the type that can put yourself in someone elses shoes and appreciate a slow buildup you'll probably find Creep an enjoyable (though disturbing) watch.

The movie begins with 'Josef' hiring Aaron to film him for a day, so most of the events are shown only through Aaron's videocamera.

Aaron does make a few stupid choices in the course of the film where you're almost bound to yell out at your screen, but heck, is there a horror/thriller out there in which the victims don't? I've yet to see one.

The actor playing 'Josef' does a truly remarkable job in portraying this twisted character so believeably that it really sticks with you. He is indeed the very definition of creepy, and that's ultimately what makes Creep a worthwhile watch.

Primal Fear (1996)

Edward Nortons amazing debut.

[10/10 · 20 June 2021]

It is amazing to think this was actually young Edward Nortons film debut, and it's no wonder he won an Academy Award and a Golden Globe because his performance is absolutely phenomenal and definitely reason enough to give this movie a chance if you haven't seen it yet.

The acting is top notch, the script is good, the pacing is great, the overall tone is eerily gripping and this is a movie that holds up no matter how many times you see it, which to me is a mark of an excellent work of art.

Definitely worth a watch.

The Trials of Gabriel Fernandez (2020)

You will never forget his name, or his story.

[9/10 · 19 June 2021]

Truly a heartwrenching, sad and twisted story which is expertly portrayed and told. This documentary is likely to make you feel and imagine things you'd never want to, and little Gabriel's story is one that will probably stick with you forever.

The Last House on the Left (1972)

'Benny Hill' meets 'I Spit on your Grave'

[4/10 · 19 June 2021]

The subject matter and the implied scenes are disturbing in themselves, yes, but as a whole, this movie just left me more confused than anything.

The overall randomness and irregularity in the actors performances, the weird circus-music and sitcom-esque tone make it hard to get emotionally invested in the characters, or to feel any of the horror, anxiety or panic that the victims were in.

If the point was to put two complete opposites together to create some sort of contrast between the happy-go-lucky comical tone and the violence, it wasn't effective. It's like Benny Hill meets I Spit on Your Grave. Not a good mix.

The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch (2020– )

Overspicing a perfectly tasty steak.

[4/10 · 19 June 2021]

Skinwalker Ranch in itself is like a big beefy chunk of meat with so much substance to chew into with all the history and lore surrounding it, but for some reason they decided to ruin this great meat filled with potential by completely covering it in annoying drama and unecessary theatrics that leave you just wanting to spit it out and aim at Dragon, aka the "Head of security", who must be the most pointless sourpuss of a character ever.

It's a shame, because this could have been very interesting, had it been executed a bit differently.

Forged in Fire: Beat the Judges (2020– )

The absolute best of Forged in Fire.

[10/10 · 19 June 2021]

Let's be honest, the judges are what make Forged in Fire what it is. They're just all around awesome, fun, and their mutual chemistry is great.

Seeing them duke it out against other bladesmiths is not only interesting but it really puts a smile on your face. You get to see their personalities in a whole different way and of course watching them do what they do best is obviously awesome in itself.

Beyond Oak Island (2020–2023)

Just recapping mysteries, theories and history.

[2/10 · 19 June 2021]

I actually, maybe foolishly, thought they'd be delving into the mysteries and trying to solve some stuff but nope. They just go over the history of each treasure-mystery, then for about maybe 10 minutes end up going to the site and look around and ponder, maybe do some metal-detecting, look at some rocks, find a rusty bullet-casing or carving and go "Oh! There must definitely be something to this mystery if we'd keep digging!" and then they leave.

Major disappointment. Major bore.

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

Surprisingly entertaining!

[7/10 · 19 June 2021]

As a kid of the 80's/90's who grew up playing Sonic, the movie was a surprisingly fun ride with not many dull moments at all and Jim Carreys performance was the absolute cherry on top - he totally rocked Robotnik!

Definitely worth the watch.

Ma (I) (2019)

Teenish thriller with a dark undertone.

[5/10 · 19 June 2021]

This is definitely not a horror movie, but it does have some dark undertones.

Don't go into it expecting too much and you might end up enjoying some of it.

Most of the movie consists of the basic teenager-drama, drinking and partying, with the only interesting feature being found within the character of Sue Ann/"Ma", who is obviously broken and traumatized from her own past, which the viewer is being told about via flashbacks while her character begins exhibiting more and more disturbed and obsessive behavior as the movie goes on.

Not that bad. Not that good.

Ps. The dog dies :'(

History's Greatest Mysteries (2020– )

Long and drawn-out waste of potential.

[2/10 · 7 June 2021]

The episodes cover pretty much the amount of information that could've been presented in less than half the time, and most of it is jargon and repetition anyway.

The cherry on top is that in none of the episodes is anything really discovered or uncovered, excluding minor tidbits of information that you may have not known before, but which you can definitely live without knowing.

The only episode worth watching would be the one about Shackleton's lost ship, and that is only because of Sir Shackleton and his crew - their story is amazing. But if you're already familiar with their story - just skip the whole series.

Moonlight (I) (2016)

Not everyones cup of slow-paced tea.

[2/10 · 28 March 2020]

I can see why some people appreciate and love the story of Moonlight, and also why others don't. I won't get into whether the movie deserved the oscar or not, as art is always subjective.

Personally I found Moonlight to have great potential along with an amazing cast which did an excellent job. But sadly Moonlight was way too slow for my taste, I found myself wanting to turn it off at several points as my patience was simply wearing off.

I can appreciate artsy movies, for example Mandy - which is extremely lacking in dialogue and is like a slow burning acid trip from the 80's, but still Moonlight wasn't my cup of tea at all. You are supposed to appreciate the silences, moods and gestures of the characters and Moonlight is indeed more about the mood, the feeling, the raw and simple story of man - which can be beautiful in it's simplicity. So I can see why it divides opinions, why it is amazing for some and a sedative for others.

If you can enjoy and appreciate a simple story being told very slowly, with quiet scenes and pretty much with "nothing happening" for a majority of the movie, you should definitely give Moonlight a go, there's a 50/50 chance you'll love it.

But if you know you're really not into slow paced flicks with barely much happening at all, you're better off skipping Moonlight.

Mark of the Devil (2020)

Basic possession flick with a twist.

[4/10 · 27 March 2020]

Honestly my hopes weren't high, so La Marca del Demonio didn't disappoint.

The plot is pretty much what you'd expect from a possession-movie, with a minor twist; the priests' sidekick is also possessed by a demon.

The acting is good, way better than what you usually see in similar movies, which was a pleasant surprise. The mood, setting and music are also pretty good throughout the film; dark, haunting and gritty.

I would have rated the movie higher, had it been longer - giving the story and characters more depth. It felt a bit rushed and the story was left with enough holes to leave you annoyed, like we aren't getting the full story.

All in all, your basic possession flick. Not awesome, but not that bad either.

Rebirth (I) (2016)

A freaky ride with madness!

[7/10 · 14 March 2020]

I am glad I didn't buy into all the negative reviews of Rebirth, and decided to give it a chance.

The movie didn't get off to the best start. I admit being annoyed in the first few minutes, and not feeling the main character at all - but as the movie progressed, I found myself glued to the screen, feeling everything he was. My pulse was racing, I was mad, I was confused, I was anxious - it was awesome!

Rebirth takes you on a seriously freaky ride that keeps you going WTF pretty much throughout, getting strange and claustrophobic; it really shows the mechanisms behind the likes of ponzi/pyramid-schemes - why people get into them, how they're lured, tricked and ultimately why they stay and even endorse them to others.

Great watch, very surprising. Dont believe the negativity - give it a shot!

The Bad Batch (2016)

Could have been awesome - but nope.

[2/10 · 13 March 2020]

I would have loved to have loved the Bad Batch, but sadly there was not much to love.

The premise of a dystopian desert wasteland where funky, strange characters and even cannibals reside - including Jim Carrey, Jason Momoa and Keanu Reeves - almost sounds too good to be true right? Well you know what they say about things that sound too good to be true.

Sad to say, The Bad Batch was bland and drawn out, with not much feasting for the eyes, the ears or the mind. It started out promising, but quickly went downhill. The plot is honestly nonexistant, as is the dialogue,...and action? No action.

I have to give props to whomever designed and put together that huge boombox with neon-lights though, but that's pretty much it.

This could have been such an awesome movie. Meh.

Cam (2018)

Great potential, horrible disappointment.

[3/10 · 13 March 2020]

The movie starts off surprisingly good, intriguing, and different.

Cam manages to suck you in pretty quickly, and it gets creepy and strange very fast, but sadly it starts flailing and ultimately failing. And the ending is just beyond disappointing.

Cam never reveals any explanation to what happened, why it happened, who did it - absolutely nothing is resolved. So basically and sadly, you will be wasting your time if you end up watching Cam.

Would not recommend.

Mandy (I) (2018)

Different, Lynchian, amazing!

[8/10 · 13 March 2020]

I had read some reviews of Mandy so I knew to expect something a bit retroesque and different, but still I wasn't prepared for how awesome Mandy actually was.

Mandy doesn't have much dialogue at all, which to be honest is refreshing for a change. The characters are gritty, funky and strange.

Watching Mandy was like every screen was a work of art, one after another - never knowing what the next screen would show. I was mesmerized by it. The colors, the lights, the filters, the music and the ambiance in this movie are amazing.

Mandy is also very David Lynch - many of the scenes were awesomely and hilariously Lynchian, the kind where you want to almost poke your own eye out, which was just the cherry on top.

If you are looking for something fast-paced with lots of fun and great dialogue, Mandy isn't for you. But if you're into the funky 80's, if you can appreciate retro cinematography, if you dig David Lynch and a very metal atmosphere - you'll probably love watching Mandy.