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EmperorHorde777
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An error has ocurred. Please try againOne no: you need at least $100 to get me onboard
Two noes: $300 plus dinner
Three noes: in the $500 range, plus dinner at an establishment of my choosing
Four noes: $500 - $1000, and if it were worse than I thought it would be, dinner, plus breakfast and lunch the next day, and you have to help me exorcise the movie from my head
Five noes (or more): Totally not worth it. (Assuming you're even able to convince me with money, it would take a bare minimum of ten C notes to even get me to start watching. I would probably need generous persuasion to keep watching - we're talking hundreds here - and any favor I ask granted without question for a week. This includes paying for emotional therapy)
Reviews
Spider-Man (2002)
I hate Spider-Man!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I truly despise everybody's precious Spider-Man. Why? Because he's what's known as a vigilante! A slave to himself! He's got powers. So what? He thinks because his beloved Uncle Ben got shot, he's bound to a life of crime-fighting and indescribable misery, but he's not. He just chooses to live like that. He also seems quite determined to keep it that way, given how he never thinks to take his stupid pictures of Spider-Man to another newspaper. Oh no, he must always take them to Jameson, so Mr. Stupid Toothbrush Mustache can tell more lies about him. He never thought to tell Harry the truth about the death of his father. Nope, he stupidly "promised" stupid Norman that he'd never let stupid Harry know the truth. Either he never thought of it, or he wants Harry to think that stupid Spider-Man killed stupid Norman. He wants to stay miserable. He's such a #$*&ing idiot, and he's supposed to be a hero?????? More like an annoying bug if you ask me, much less a comic book icon. He doesn't make me like spiders, he makes me snort. I wish the Green Goblin beat him till he bled. I wish the Green Goblin impaled him with his glider's blades. I wish Spider-Man died!
Death to Spider-Man! I hope Doctor Octopus dismembers him and paints the city with his radioactive blood!!!!!!
negative three hundred billion gazillion stars of of ten
St. Helens (1981)
The dumbest movie i have ever seen
Call me an immature little boy, but i've had a more profound experience just watching a documentary on Mount St. Helens. To that end, there was actually some real footage of the eruption mixed in there somewhere. Now that was good, about all that actually was good in this dumb movie. (some people might think of this as a spoiler) The actor who plays Harry Truman is. Way. Too. Young. Truman was probably in his seventies, the actor looks like he's barely out of his fifties.
This movie runs about ninety minutes. Am I ever thankful for that, ninety minutes of sheer torture magnified by the fact that they swear (i'm talking S-words here) like it's 1999 just all the time. they must swear at least three times every scene. I'm telling you, it's out of control.
The only good line in the whole movie is "Ahh, hayte bahg pypes!" oh, sorry, translated version: "I hate bagpipes!" That line has become legendary around my house.
1 star is way too many. if given a choice i'd give it 0.00000001 stars. Watch a Mount St. Helens documentary instead.