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Reviews
Neurotica. (2019)
Waste of Time
I love Karen Gillan. Her acting in this is very good.
But the direction and lighting are annoying and bothersome, with the blink-cuts and the strobes, especially since most of us are watching this on our phones late at night, or early in the morning.
The casting besides Karen is really annoying.
The writing is annoying and bothersome and nothing. The writing is nothing. No pay-off. It's not funny, it's not horror or drama, it provides no philosophy or commentary. It's just nothing. Like Nick Kocher used to be this brilliant, hilarious writer, and now he can't make me laugh, ever. I hate to say that, but Nick, man, find a way to entertain us, I really, really do believe in you, from your writing 10 years ago.
Eureka! (2019)
Nothing short film
I love Karen Gillan. Her acting in this is very good. But the writing nothing and annoying, nothing to contribute, no pay off. Not funny, not horror, not drama, not philosophical. What's the point?
The lighting and directing is annoying with blink-cuts and strobes, especially since most of us will watch this on our phones late at night or burnt-out in our office jobs.
Nick Kocher, man. I used to love his early Britanick stuff, but now I find him and his quote, work, annoying and bothersome. I really don't like who he's become as a writer or a person. I hate to attack his character like that, but dude, figure out how to entertain us again, please.
Emily in Paris (2020)
Straight Guy's Review
I love this show. Unironically. It is an easy to watch, comfort show. It's not particularly funny, or witty, or sexy, but it is extremely digestible. You put in on, you turn of your brain, and you genuinely develop an affinity and investment for the characters. We love Lily Collins. We love all of them. I can't explain it, other than we do feel for them and we want better things for them.
It's got good lighting and good casting and a decent budget. It's watchable. It's easy to remember. It's not realistic, at all. But it's relaxing. It's more stupid-hot than Paris Hilton could ever dream of attaining. It's dumb, simple enjoyment.
The fashion is good, and the drama is good.
It's a Wonderful Knife (2023)
Direct Ripoff
This movie is a direct, Blumhouse to Blumhouse rip-off, of their other movie from 3 months earlier, Totally Killer. Only Totally Killer is awesome and funny, and this is unfunny and boring and lame. This is a 1. Totally Killer is a10.
Both blonde teens. Both slasher-based killers. Both Back to the Future rip-off plots, with 2 killers.
This one has a needless gay subplot with the 2 leads, so outta pocket.
This one has Justin Long who has never been in a good horror movie. Ever. Not once.
This one has Joel McHale who can't act.
The one is too scared to mention angels or anything Christian, IN A CHRISTMAS MOVIE, so it uses the aura borealis lights. Lame.
The Jeselnik Offensive (2013)
Best Show Streaming
This is the best show currently streamable, on Paramount Plus. This show has my family and friends howling laughing, warm in the face. I mean, the writing is phenomenal. This show is genius. This show is not held back, it's not filtered and dissected by the PC-police until there's nothing left. This show is refreshing humor.
It is so nice just seeing people have fun in comedy. The guests are brilliant. The sketches are brutal, but they bring us closer together.
This is show was cancelled, and it needs to be renewed. This show is such an uncut gem of potential, and it brings us closer together, because it shows us that we can enjoy being our unfiltered selves.
The Curse (2023)
Unwatchable
Worst Emma Stone property. I don't like her anymore. I think of lot of us Emma Stone fans have not liked anything she's done since La La Land (which still had a stupid, sad ending). She's not making good choices. I think we're done with her. She keeps sinking her own career.
This is nothing. This is uncomfortable to watch. This is not funny. This is not comedy, horror, or drama. What is the point. The acting is uncomfortable. Wow. What a colossal waste of time and money. What were they thinking? Is Hollywood over? Paramount should just shut-down. We get it for Star Trek and SpongeBob and then cancel it as fast as we can.
Habit (1995)
Pretentious Turd
Wow, so douchey. So boring. Vague, doesn't show you the goods, or say that the goods are present. C-grade sex scenes. Creepy, dirty, douchey new yorkers, making less of an argument for NY tourism. So slow. Boring. Snoozer. Douchey lead/writer/director. Skippable.
Head of the Family (1996)
Shockingly Good
Strong, well-done dialogue. Good sex scenes. Good horror elements and violence. B+ FX. One of the best Charles Band films. Good casting. Very watchable. Do it up!
The Stylist (2020)
Brea Grant Harbinger
Brea Grant is the harbinger of bad C-movies. If she shows-up: leave. Ever since her run in Heroes, she hasn't found a boat that floats. Get out. Don't invest time. Just run.
Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987)
Slow & Poor Audio
It's a pretty standard full-moon pic.
Slow in the middle. And all dialogue is near-inaudible due to bad mic'ing. But it's alright. Worth a watch. But stream it for cheaper instead going for disc.
After Midnight (2019)
Waste of Time
Dumb, incoherent plot and ending. Goes back and forth, because it is not confident in either story, and thinks it's so edgy.
That blonde actress is a harbinger of crap C-movies, if she shows up, leave.
Lead can't act. Hipster characters.
Weak monster for about 10 seconds.
Just skip.
Spiral (2019)
Garbage Plot
Not horror. Not good. Dumb, uninspired, boring, beat-ya-over-the-head plot. Bad acting. Bland, forced-PC characters.
Completely skippable. Standard shudder trash.
The Black Phone (2021)
Skippable
Annoying cast. Bad lighting. Dumb plot. Meh and generic, start to finish.
Glad this dude didn't direct Multiverse of Madness, and he gave it to a good director.
Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town (2010)
Just As Good As Show!
It's just sketches and characters with a plot. Well done. Excellent way to spent 2.5 hours! Comedy comfort food! Fun! Hollywood should have them write more original scripts!
Shoresy (2022)
R-Rated Ted Lasso
If Letterkenny had an equally-touching and uplifting comfort show version of Ted Lasso.
Great fights. Hot cast. Excellent dialogue. Hilarious, and doesn't take itself too seriously. Watch it!
Conversations with Friends (2022)
As a Normal People fan, this is skippable garbage
Just dumb, boring, long, meaningless, go-nowhere writing, with completely unenjoyable characters and cast. I loved Normal People, deeply, but this is unwatchable.
Unlikeable actions, unlikeable plot, unlikeable polygamous characters who do not treat each other with respect.
Demon Wind (1990)
Skippable
Sorry Joe Bob, this one does not live up to the hype. Barely watchable. Horrible acting, writing, FX, editing, cinematography, directing, weak lighting. Just save your time and do anything else with it. Pass pass pass.
Scream (2022)
Big Steaming Pile
Wow! Worst one yet! Killed off the 1 good character in this one! Wow! Cast can't act, characters aren't written enough. Lackluster, slow, and boring start to finish. Fire these writers.
Enuattii (2017)
Skip It
The monster is super weak looking. Worse than the original lobstery Predator suit. Mouth kinda moves, no other movements. No noises. Good actors don't stay. Good characters do nothing. Slow slow slow. 2 good dialogue lines by extra soldiers. That's it. Skip it.
Most Dangerous Game (2020)
Painful Writing
Painful and awkward, writing and acting. The leads are excellent (Waltz & Hemsworth)! But the co-stars are awkward, with inaccurate delivery, and the summarizing of plot, dumbsplaining all backstory, over and over is so weak.
Direction is good, but it does move too slow to enjoy it.
Let Us Prey (2014)
Dumb Ending Ruins It
WTF with that ending. Not to mention totally unnecessary on-screen rapacious bad stuff. Budget clearly runs-out 20 minutes to the end with lots of bad CGI. Stupid script.
Aknyeo (2017)
Camera Too Shaky
Only movie to ever give a headache. Couldn't watch more than 5 minutes. Only free action movie I ever gave up on. Horrible headache, because the camera was too shaky.
Subspecies (1991)
Other Reviews Lied
Wow! Right from the start! What a stinker! Wowwwww! Garbage. The budget, the acting, the FX, the cinematography, the music, all trash. Trash, trash, trash. Wow. Bad. Waste
Skippable.
Monstrous (2020)
Dumb Dumb Dumb
Atrocious characters. No enjoyable writing. No good writing. Another dumb streamer steamer millennial trash Shudder film, that made you want a refund even if you saw it for free.
The Unnamable (1988)
Unwatchable
Slow. Slow pacing. Dumb characters. Poor audio and cinematography. Takes too long to get there, and doesn't pay off when it does get there. Such a stinker.