Change Your Image
zacharymccorquodale
Reviews
The French Connection (1971)
Incredibly poor storytelling
This movie made me want to punch a hole in the wall.
Heavy Rain (2010)
Absolutely infuriating to play, the story would almost be worth it if the game wasn't designed by a 3 year old.
The voice acting it god awful. The voice actors should genuinely be ashamed of their work on this game. There's a main character with what I can only assume is a Bostonian accent and the voice actor absolutely butchers it, making the time you spend playing as that character (like 1/4th of the game) unbearable. The kids' voice actors also did a horrible job, they all sound vaguely European for no reason. Also, everyone pronounces "origami" like "origammy" throughout the entire game. Why would you have every character mispronounce the name of the killer every time it comes up? (which is a lot of times) It's just flat out annoying and there is 0 reason for it.
The controls are somehow even worse than the voice acting. The motion controls flat out don't work unless you yank your controller in the direction you're told to move it. There are times where you have to shake the controller, and in order for it to actually register your movement you have to shake the controller so hard that if you replaced the controller with a baby, it would die.
Also, you have to hold R2 to walk and use the left analog stick to change directions, which is the absolute worst way I've ever seen a game take on walking. This is the only game I've heard of where you have to press 2 buttons to walk. It makes your character hard to control and generally unresponsive to the direction you're telling it to go. You also have to do a quicktime event for every little insignificant thing your character does, making the game incredibly boring and tedious.
Also, the writing is like how a 5th grader would handle dialogue in a creative writing assignment. There's a scene where a women has just failed in an attempt at suicide, and a private investigator character asks her right after saving her "Are you okay?" Like dude she just tried to kill herself she's not okay, use your brain you are a private investigator.
The plot is interesting, but the game is completely demolished by being one of the most poorly designed gameplay experiences I've ever witnessed. I just don't get how David Cage wrote out a good story, and then just let it be ripped to shreds into this clunky, time wasting, awfully acted, infuriating mess of a game. It really is a shame.
(The game really is like a 4/10 but I wanted to rate it 1/10 just to bring down the average rating).
Omoo-Omoo the Shark God (1949)
Genuinely entertaining and amusing
First thing you need to know is that there a scene where a man runs out of ammo in his revolver so he just chucks the unloaded weapon at his enemy. Fascinating.
All these people are rating 1 star acting like it should've been a masterpiece. It's a 57 minute movie from 1949 about a shark god, it's gonna be cheesy. Go in expecting a cheesy old adventure movie and you'll come out having enjoyed it.