Change Your Image
levelheader99
Reviews
Final Exam (1981)
Final Exam must be taken at a proctologist's office...
The Final Exam must be a rectal exam because you'd have to be a big ass to like it!! Talk about a total waste of 90 minutes, what is there to like about this film? A couple of the characters are quirky and likable, but it's more of a mixture of Revenge of the Nerds, Halloween, and any other college comedy you can think of. The film has zero action for the first hour after a post credits slaying, then the killer gets busy and you start wondering who this could be. Just when you think this stinker could just possibly redeem itself, noooooo the killer has no motive or identity. One of the basic fundamentals of a mystery story is that a new character cannot be introduced as the killer if he has not been introduced earlier in the story in some way. That's what totally destroys this film.
After watching the film, it really seems as if there was some type of breakdown in the filming or editing of it. The lame professor never returns to be seen after his introduction earlier in the film. If I had to make an assumption as to who the killer should be, I'd say the policeman. He was going after the pranksters, which made sense. I'll give the benefit of the doubt and assume there was footage lost after filming and this mess had to be culled together and released to recoup some money. Bend over... your Final Exam is ready.
Survival Zone (1983)
The Horrible Zone...Beware, You've Been Warned!
Another of the endless Mad Max ripoffs, and this one ranks with the stinkinest of all time. I don't mind a few stinkers, and I love the campiness of these late 70's/early 80's post-nuke films, but this is probably the worst film I've seen since Blair Witch 2. After a WWIII holocaust, we look in on the lives of a few survivors who are about to cross paths. We have the scum biker gang, the all-American dad and child with a foreign sounding wife and daughter (who have an old man as a mock grandpa),we have the last 2 remaining horses on planet earth, a convent of nuns, and finally a loner stud lookin' for action any way he can get it.
All I can say is, all of the horrible clichés are in affect. Absolutely nothing happens for about the first 50-55 minutes except a lot of garbage talk about the way things were and how retarded man is for destroying everything. The rest of the film cannot be considered action, horror, or science fiction in my opinion. You just have to make a whole new genre for films like this and call it the Sh*t genre. You could fit this 90 min. film into a 25 min. TV show package.
The editing is horrible also, and you have the feel that some scenes (including the ending) needed more extensions onto them to help tell the story, but I have a feeling this would just prolong the pain of viewing it even more. Please be warned, there's a good reason why less than 30 people have rated this film.
Savage Weekend (1979)
Substance DVD version is cut
My 1 out of 10 rating is for the Substance (Music Video Distribution) DVD version of the film. Very disappointing release of this obscure slasher movie. This DVD has all nudity and extended violence cut from the print. If you want this uncut, get the old Paragon VHS version. I figured this would be a VHS quality picture put onto DVD, but I didn't think it would come out chopped to bits. If you can't get these films out uncut, then just don't release them. This DVD makes the film look horribly dull, and pointless. In actuality, the uncut film is not bad if you like this genre. Boooooooooo to Substance. Makes me wonder if their other DVD releases are cut also including "Pranks" and "Tanya's Island"?
Girls Nite Out (1982)
A slasher that could have been super.
Girls Nite Out is one of those films that could have great if just a few extra touches would have been used. The acting is good for the most part, Hal Holbrook solidifies the cast as a stern campus security head. The story is fair, nothing you haven't seen in a horror film a million times. The look and atmosphere of the film is very good. With alittle less stupid comedy, some more graphic killing (eye gougings, decapitation, gut spilling), alittle more suspense leading up to each killing, and an overhauled ending, this could have been a real winner. Pass on this one unless you just want to see it for the 80's campus nostalgia. Oh yeah, the whole film is chock full of the worst mind numbing oldies music, UUUGGGHHH!!!
No Retreat No Surrender (1985)
Before there was grunge, martial arts ruled Seattle!!!!
No Retreat, No Surrender is not a true Van Damme movie although he plays a small role in it as the bad guy. It's more of a "Karate Kid"/"Breakin'"/any teen revenge film you've ever seen kind of movie. If you can overlook the horrendous acting on everyone's part, and the things that just sort of happen by coincidence, you'll grow to love this 80's cheese-fest.
This movie is unintentionally hilarious, and is a must see for 80's martial arts fans. Jason, the main character, has a black friend R.J. who is a skateboarder/breakdancer/rapper/Michael Jackson impersonator, truly a one of a kind! The boom mic has almost as much camera time in this film as Van Damme. The playground push-ups scene with R.J. and Jason is a 10 out of 10 on the gay-as-hell meter, you have to see it. And finally the huge main event, martial arts competition, final showdown is held where?... A high school gym!! Love it.
The Australian "Force Video" DVD release is excellent and uncut. Very nice picture quality.
Waiting... (2005)
I don't mind silly, but this is just lame...
When you sit down to watch a comedy that you think may have potential to be really genuine, hilarious, and have some crude adult humor thrown in beware, it may turn out to be a total stinker like "Waiting...". I thought the idea of the setting, an everyday boisterous steakhouse, and the comedy of Ryan Reynolds would make this a hit, but the film blows on every level. The plot is non-existent, there are no jokes, the single attempt at any comedy (I won't spoil it, as if I could spoil anything about this crapper) is beyond childish and is used over and over throughout this 90+ minute root canal. Stereotypical, lame, and stupid are just a few words that come to mind.
Who voted this as a "10", children under 12 who snuck the DVD from their parents and watched it late at night while all were asleep??? Pleeeeeaaasseeeee!!!!! How do these scripts get through to be major films? Also, please, enough already with the huge overblown "UNRATED" DVD versions, so you added a 5 second scene and now the film is sooo much better than the crap fest that we saw in the theaters, all I can say is NO.