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Reviews
Kill Her Goats (2023)
What...
I don't even know what this was.
It's like they asked a 12 year old to wirte a horror movie. And he was like "ok, what's it about?"
And they said "nothing". But it's called "Kill Her Goats". So...involve goats in some way.
And the he was like "ohhh killer goats"...I got it.
And they said "no, goats have nothing to do with it. But you like boobs, right? "
And he said "yeah". And made this movie.
There's literally a line towards the end where a chick says "why are there goats?". I don't think it was even in the script.
I almost recommend it just because of how absurd it is.
It's like a Rob Zombie film if Rob Zombie was a child.
Last the Night (2022)
Actually not bad
I really didn't expect this to be any good and almost turned it off when I saw people wearing masks and mentioning bird flu or whatever every 20 seconds but it ended up being a decent revenge film. Brian Austin Green is really good in the role and the kids are such stereotypical idiots, it's hilarious (the girl more concerned about her phone than escaping from the killer is great) . The kill scenes aren't great but that's to be expected when it's gun-based, which isn't common for "Slashers". All in all, it's a pretty decent watch and didn't have the political commentary I expected when it started.
Wrong Turn (2021)
Depends What You're Looking For...
If you're a fan of the Wrong Turn series (which I am) and are looking for a sequel in the franchise, this is not it. If you're open to a reboot or reimagining, I would recommend. Again, I love the series and almost didn't want to watch this because of all the negative reviews but I'm glad I did.
If you shouted "blasphemy!" when Rob Zombie remade Hallowen, DON'T watch this. If you think robot Chucky is sacrilege, DON'T watch this. But if you're just looking for a fun backwoods Horror flick with more of a plot and twists and turns than most, check it out.
And Matthew Modine is randomly in it too so that's pretty cool.
The Lurker (2019)
I wanted to like it...
I saw the bad reviews about the casting but thought I could ignore it if it had enough of an "80's slasher" feel to it because none of those actors were teenagers either but it really was too hard to get past. I actually burst out laughing when Taylor-Compton referred to herself as "underage" to a man who looked like her husband...if not, son.
But again, I could have forgave it if the plot was substantial but it wasn't. It was uneventful and by-the-numbers. I guess if you're a big Horror fan it might be worth a watch if you have some time to kill. But I wouldn't spend money on it.
K-Shop (2016)
Everything in England is terrible...
Is the point of this movie, I guess. Brits are drunk, Turks are boring and psychotic. Boring being the key word. This movie also lasted 2 hours.
Tone-Deaf (2019)
Could have been great...
Without the forced Liberal agenda, this could have been a really cool Horror film. But this film just reeks of 2019 Hollywood. Basically the plot is "men and anyone from the south are evil". Add that to the fact that the lead character (who we're supposed to feel sympathetic for, I assume) has a personality so unappealing, you want her dead 20 minutes in. It was hard to give it 4 stars but again, if you try and ignore the painfully obvious rhetoric, it's not such a bad film. Wouldn't recommend but seen worse.