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Reviews
Blinded by the Light (2019)
Piling it on THICK
Wow, I mean, congrats for getting this made but it was diabolical, cliche, boring and missable.
I didn't care about any characters, not because I'm heartless but because the film sucked.
The W*ite saviour girlfriend was particularly nauseating.
Don't pay to see this.
Night Out (2018)
Plain... bad.
Respectfully, this was awful for the following reasons:
It seems as if Amelia was trying hard to get chosen by the BFI for funding so whimsically ticked every popular box of this era:
A Black
Muslim girl
Rebelling
Drinking
Smoking a "drug"
Seeing an edgy white woman
Falling in love
It was just too cheesy and obviously written by a non-lesbian. Maybe a woman who "used" to waste other women's times but not a lesbian. There was no emotion in the protagonist because I imagine the script was based on fetish or a past phase.
When asked about why the writer chose to write this story it's because it "happened to her"... Another non lesbian dipping her toe into the lady pond, fetishising lesbianism then going back to safe hetero-land. Her telling of the story made it very bland and for that reason, unbelievable however the topic and casting would obviously get funding.
It's easy and not-sacrificial for a white (yes, Iranians are white too), non-muslim (your received pronunciation accent means you were probably raised non-muslim), straight woman to tell a lesbian "Black, muslim, lesbian love story" because she doesn't have to live with the shame and other negatives that come with this identity.
The writer should have left the story alone because she did it no justice. It wasn't hers to tell. I don't care if her father was the president of Shiraz, the storytelling was inauthentic.
The Curse of La Llorona (2019)
La Trash-ona
This film wasn't bad, it was worse than that.
It followed every trope in the book, BADLY!
Every character was insufferable and the script must have been thread-bare.
The casting was tragic - every actor gave a less than garbage performance and much of their reactions made no sense.
Every two minutes there was senseless shouting and screaming which added nothing to the film's story or tension.
At this point the makers just trying to milk money out of people's pockets - do NOT pay to see this film.
Luckily I saw a free screening.
Save Me (2018)
Miscast, underwhelming story and unrealistic acting.
I didn't enjoy this show for the following reasons:
It was poorly casted - The actors bring no character to their roles. In particular the lead man, Nelly, was miscast because he was too posh to play the character well.
The quips they tried to add were just cheesy and didn't flow well particularly in the police interrogation scene in the first episode. They should have street cast for less actor-ish people and more realism.
The story was boring and their personal drama were dull so I wasn't invested.
Everything was just too unrealistic.
2nd episode the friend refers to chips to add nothing than drive home the fact that he's working class. It's all just so forced. Middle class actors in working class roles
On a positive note:
It's good to see a mainstream story involving inner-city Black British and white working class people on Channel 4 though.
The Witches (1990)
Great film.
Fantastic film from start to finish.
The story, the characters, the actors, all brilliant.
I loved it and still do. I recommend to kids and adults alike.
Kidulthood (2006)
Wow. This is BAD!
*Deep sigh*
This is BAD! I'm just watching this in 2018. I can't blame the awfulness of this on the chance that it's aged badly - its just BAD. Bad in 2006 and BAD now.
I watch well-written "urban" French and American films all the time and they don't age as badly this.
Is the excessively unrealistic amount of swearing supposed to cover up the bad acting and threadbare "story"? Because it didn't work.
Terribly casted, terribly written, terribly acted, abysmally directed.
It's a shame that Britain just can't do "urban" films correctly.
This film is worse than any review can convey.
Everything Noel Clarke does is BAD.
Cidade de Deus (2002)
Seriously good film, it's "foreignness" is IRRELEVANT
Seriously good film, it's "foreignness" is IRRELEVANT
The cinematography, the narration, the pacing, the energy, the interwoven story-telling. This film is fantastic. It's a shame that its "foreignness" matters.
I love seeing the feeling of these characters and the way it depicts revenge and the cycle of violence. It's MAD!
If you don't speak Brasilian Portuguese, watch it with reading glasses and enjoy.
The Intent (2016)
Bad, bad and terrible.
Everything that the two writers make is AWFUL. Who keeps funding these two?
Bad writing. Bad plot. Bad dialogue. Bad acting.
Embarrassing. And Femi keeps talking about a part 2. He's delusional. Usually the first film has to be good to warrant a part 2.
American Gods (2017)
Hooked from episode 1 and that's not easy.
Great show. Good to see that Ricky has made a career after Hollyoaks and Strictly Come Dancing. I didn't know it before but I now know he's a great actor.
The story is dark, mysterious, gripping, thought-provoking, sometimes funny and INTERESTING. A breath of fresh air.
Sherlock (2010)
No thank you. Very unlikable.
Wow,
This is garbage.
Sherlock is unlikable and annoying. I'm 25 minutes into the first episode and can't stand it. However, with such a high rating I've got tot force myself to try and see it through.
It's written relatively well but the story is bad and the characters are bad. No thanks
Queen Sugar (2016)
Really bad.
This show is awful.
It's full of posturing and severely lacking in substance. The plot plods along, boring scene after boring scene. Everything is sad and miserable. Nothing redeeming about it. The writer should have read a few screenwriting books.
The posters and cover art look great but that's about it.
Collateral (2018)
Not good. BBC, sort it out. People other than men over 50 can write
Did TV always used to be this forced?
I found this hard to watch. There was bad dialogue where seemingly everyone was trying to be cool. The characters' interrelatedness is strained and unrealistic. Why is everyone a caricature?
I imagine people of the writer's demographic loving this with its unnecessary one-liners because just like the writers, they don't live in the real world and think that London is as ridiculous as its written in this tripe.
The casting is FORCED. I appreciate diversity but not diversity for diversity sake. Give the people some rapport.
The pizzeria manager is a cockney... Not realistic and just tacked on for diversity sake. "The council will be 'round in an hour"? WHAT THE HELL is the point of this line? To drum in how "common" they are?
Billie Piper couldn't act her way out of a wet paper bag. She's literally TELLING us the story rather than the writer SHOWING us what's going on. Why would she be having a go at her baby father like that? It just didn't fit.
Lesbian vicar... Tacked on.
The main police woman... Her lines are jarring and unrealistic. Her moralistic jibes are COOOORNY.
According to the police officer it's too late to order a pizza but the MP's girlfriend goes to a cafe to write a letter? Cafe's close no later than 7 usually. It's 3am and the killer gets on a train from Waterloo? UM, last train leaves waterloo at 00.42... Why even add that in there? They're adding EVERYTHING for no reason all in the pursuit of a twist yet its so bad and boring that I don't care to see what the twist is as I'm not invested.
BBC, PLEASE GET SOME WRITERS WHO HAVE LIVED THE LIVES OF THE PEOPLE THEY'RE WRITING ABOUT. Not some over 50s man with an overactive imagination.
McMafia (2018)
They're going for style instead of story and acting and they've failed MISERABLY.
Such a cliched, boring, flat show.
I think the writers may have wanted to write something like The Godfather as mafia/crime shows get audiences but the writing is just weak, like most BBC things.
I wonder if the screenplays are originally well-written, then the BBC flattens them to fit in their criteria of boring, overly-postured shows.
Hard Sun (2018)
Worse than bad...
Ter-ri-ble!
The writer seems out of touch. Adding characters but no life to these characters.
Too many unrealistic escapes from danger and why were they fighting on the beach? Why was he suggesting incest? Out of the blue he just goes crazy and starts attacking her personal life? There isn't enough character nor relationship development to make me care about either of these characters.
Where is their backup? They fight crime alone with no phones, no radios and no backup! I know its fictional but it's not supposed to be fantasy. So much more could have been added to enrich this show. It seems like the writer was in a rush and forgot to add anything to make this whole.
Also, beginning of episode 2 he's just been beaten the crap out of and he's hobbling then all of a sudden he has super human strength to run? Not realistic and tired. We've seen these superheroic types before. *Yawn*
Why did the mom buy the son sweeties like he was a naughty 5 year old? He's a murderous grown man. She visits him in prison and they say nothing valuable, these scenes are too empty, they don't set the pace, perhaps the writer is holding things back for later but no... Just get more story please and fill in the empty gaps.
Episode 2: The police officer has been kidnapped by a bunch of "bad" guys yet no one, not even his colleagues are looking for him? I could go on but I'm exhausted by the plot holes.
The End of the F***ing World (2017)
Trying too hard and failing miserably. I do NOT recommend.
I'm checking it out now. It seems to be carried by the music that they have chosen to play throughout the show. And the fact that it's really trying to be American. From the colour tone to the wardrobe, interior design and the locations and angles.
I'm not enjoying the snappy-trying-to-be-funny dialogue.
Perhaps I'm going too far but will this not encourage teenage girls to do stupid things like date/stay with psychopaths/killers?
They've written in a dancing scene for no reason other than to try and look cool and Tarantino-esque. They failed miserably. Neither character has any redeemable features.
All in all, it's over-stylised, predictable with its wannabe humour and personalities thus not so great so far and I see through it.
Perhaps it would have worked better as a film. It absolutely doesn't work as a series for me.