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Rome: The Stolen Eagle (2005)
The Empire Begins
Eager to return to Rome after eight long years of war, Gaius Julius Caesar ends his campaign with a resounding triumph in Gaul - and news of a shattering personal loss at home. In Rome, Caesar's old friend Pompey is counselled by the Senate, who worry about Caesar's growing popularity. Two soldiers are enlisted to find the army's stolen gold standard. Atia is careful to play both sides of an escalating power struggle.
Rome is nothing if not ambitious. And from the first few moments, you can't help but by overwhelmed by this magnus opus. It is, to coin a phrase, "bigger than Ben-Hur". It revolves around three major plots, which I assume will be the big stories for the season. the first: the life of Julius Caesar, and his battle with the Roman Senate. The second: the story of a family in the ruling family of the Julii. The third: the story of a Roman legionnaire, upon his return to his family after years of separation.
The purpose of a pilot is to hook viewers on this new universe (though, arguably, this world is thousands of years old). And, in that respect, it is an unmitigated success. I'd almost compare it to The Tudors with its highly visceral, sexualised atmosphere in retelling a historical story. But it's also similar to The Wire - though not as dense, if one isn't paying attention, you're almost certain to get lost somewhere along the line. This is undoubtedly the reason the series got cancelled in its second season (or high production values, which one gets from the first thirty seconds).
Unlike The Tudors, we have a cast of charismatic characters with which we can invest in. Julius Caesar, as played by Ciarin Hinds, is a captivating, conquering aristocrat with innovative ideas, and a primordial drive for dominance. You fear him, but can't help but look at him in awe. Servilla, as played by Lindsey Duncan (best known for Doctor Who, though Traffik was her better work), is Caesar's lover, and a staunch aristocrat. A pair of equals if ever there was one. The Tudors has Jonathan Rhys-Meyers sneering and Natalie Dormer looking pretty. This is a real power couple. Not to mention James Purefoy as Mark Antony. He deserves mention too.
During this episode, Pompey - co-counsel of the Roman senate - takes action against Caesar after their last alliance crumbles. Caesar's daughter and Pompey's wife dies during childbirth. Atia, Caesar's niece and a ruthless power-player, sends her young son, Octavian, to Caesar's side. She even presents her daughter Octavia to Pompey as a gift, to be his new bride. Though men rule the ancient land of Rome, Atia is one of the shadow rulers - the powerful woman behind the strong man. Titus Pullo (Ray Stevenson) and Lucius Vorenus (Kevin McKidd) are sent to retrieve Caesar's golden eagle. Meanwhile, the 13th Legion leaves Gaul and marches for Rome.
The build up is subtle. But by the end, it has your attention. And you (and I) definitely want to watch the next episode. It's a fantastic spectacle, though it's obvious things are just getting started. The characters don't have much conflict, sadly, but the build up of pressure leading to conflict is used well, and serves to offer great character moments that allow each new character to introduce themself. The battle at the beginning felt a bit short, but was suitably intense and brutal. My only question: why the hell was this cancelled?!
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Not the Phantom Menace
Of course it was never going to be as good as Raiders of the Lost Ark. Are you crazy? It was refreshing to see George Lucas and Steven Spielberg take a different, more B-movie approach to the film. John Hurt was a good addition to the cast. Ray Winstone's character seemed like an attempt at the new Belloq, but was far from my favourite. Shia LeBeouf tried admirably, and succeeded in not being the ne Short Round. The action scenes were well done (though they could have had a better creepy crawly than ants), the exposition integrated well, and the humor a light touch. While Karen Allen should have got more screen time, and the romantic scene that ends the movie seems slightly out of character for Indy, this movie is easily the best of 2008.
I encourage everyone to see it right away.
The Brave (1997)
Criminally underrated
Think of many underrated movies out there. "Chaplin", with Robert Downey Jr. Martin Scorscese's "Kundun". Kevin Smith's "Chasing Amy". Or Troy Duffy's "Boondock Saints".
"The Brave", based on the novel by Gregory McDonald, is among them. Why the critics at Cannes... canned this film, I will never understand. This film should have been released in the United States, and everywhere else around the world, for it is a sensitive drama that truly shows what an artist Johnny Depp is.
Raphael's (or is it Rafael? I'm not sure) love for his family compels him to sign on to star in a 'snuff movie'. For those not in the know, it means he will be killed on camera for money. He hopes this money will be enough to bring his family out of poverty. He takes care of everything in his life before following the trail to his doom.
For a first-time director, Johnny Depp does a better job than many big-time directors (Michael Bay? Are you paying attention?). The score by Iggy Pop also helps the film move along. And it's gripping finale outshines other classic endings, like "Planet of the Apes" or "The Sixth Sense".
This is easily among my Top 100 Movies of all-time. It's far better than many classic movies and current films around. So if the reason behind its unfair dismissal by film critics is justified, then show me the flaws. Because I can't find any.
10 out of 10
21 Jump Street: How I Saved the Senator (1990)
The Best 21 Jump Street Episode Ever
People may think Loc'd Out was good (where Hanson was sent to jail), or that Orpheus 3.3 deserved top billing. Truth is, both episodes are very good... but this is the best. Straying from the formula of "there is a problem with a teenager, the gang goes undercover to solve it," this sees Hanson, Ioki, Penhall and Judy - and even Fuller - fantasizing about themselves saving a senator who was 'nearly assassinated'. Seeing Johnny Depp become Charlie Chaplin, Holly Robinson become a spunky jazz singer, Dustin Nguyen become Bruce Lee and Peter DeLuise become James Bond could have been tacky, but works very well here. And Stephen Williams as a Western cowboy is a nice finishing touch. This gets full marks from me.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)
Not the greatest TV show ever made, but pretty damn close
Some people say Buffy the Vampire Slayer is overrated, and is nothing more than a show about a cheerleader who kills vampires. Some say Buffy is underrated, and people don't appreciate the richness and complexities of its characters and writing.
To be honest, they are both true. Right from the first episode, Buffy destroys the horror movie cliché - when Darla kills the student - and introduces a post-modern take on the tradition of 'vampire slayers'. Most people can't believe that Buffy - a show about an attractive teenage girl driving wooden stakes through blood-sucking fiends - could have the resonance of 'realistic' shows like The West Wing.
The supernatural elements in the series stand as metaphors for personal anxieties associated with adolescence and young adulthood. A mother can take over her daughter's life; a strict stepfather-to-be is a heartless machine; a young lesbian fears her nature is demonic; and a girl who sleeps with even the nicest-seeming guy may discover that he afterwards becomes a monster.
And if viewers don't want to explore the complexities and morals of the show, they can simply enjoy watching a talented cast - Sarah Michelle Gellar, Alyson Hannigan, Emma Caulfield, Anthony Stewart Head and James Marsters being the best of the bunch - battle deliciously evil villains - Mark Metcalf's The Master, Clare Kramer's Glory and David Boreanaz's Angelus at the top of the heap - while dealing with their own issues, like being a werewolf, a Slayer falling for a werewolf, and discovering that your younger sister was created by monks.
So, in conclusion: Buffy the Vampire Slayer isn't the greatest television show ever made (it does have its flaws - see Season Four), but it's pretty damn close.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Welcome to the Hellmouth (1997)
Welcome to the world of Buffy the Vampire Slayer!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a fantastic series that starts off okay. This first episode is a great introduction to the multi-dimensional characters of the show. From the very first, cliché-breaking scene - where Darla, disguised as a female student, kills a male student - it is clear that this is something different.
Admittedly, this episode - like many others in the first season - has its problems, including a low budget and cheesy music. But it's hard not to fall in love with the main characters. Willow's very cute and likable; it's hard not to hate Cordelia, but that's part of the reason we love her; but Giles appears quite one-dimensional, in the Dumbledore-giver-of-exposition role.
The only major problems here are that The Master is pretty corny, and not too interesting; and Luke is far too corny. But other factors - as listed above, as well as Xander and Buffy's first meeting, and Buffy's second encounter with Giles in the library - more than make up for that.
Star Wars (1977)
The Force Is With This
Wow. When I was ten years old, my dad came home and said "It's time to watch some REAL movies." He brought home Raiders of the Lost Ark, Kelly's Heroes... and 'A New Hope'. I was astonished. Raiders of the Lost Ark had the most impact on me, but Star Wars was just as good, if not better - a true epic for all ages.
It's so good it's influenced many films over the years - Serenity, Spaceballs, The Last Starfighter - and some less obvious - Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (a cocky young rogue teams up with an innocent boy to save a princess from an evil supernatural warlord - sound familiar?) - and it really does live up to its reputation.
It's cast of memorable characters - Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Leia Organa, C-3PO, R2-D2, Chewbacca, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Darth Vader... brilliant. If you look for it, there's even a shot of smoking corpses on Tattooine. How that got past the censors...
Anyways, buy some popcorn. Put it in the DVD. Sit on the couch. Immerse yourself in the greatest science-fiction film of all time.
The force will be with you... always
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Cutthroat Island? What's That?
Forget all the bad pirate movies of the past - Cutthroat Island, for instance - and indulge in the first masterpiece of the 21st century. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl was based on a piddling Disney theme park ride and starred Edward Scissorhands, Legolas, David Helfgott, and that skinny girl from 'Bend it like Beckham'.
But this film packs a killer punch with Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), the notorious rock star/pirate with a resemblance to Keith Richards and the coolest hat on celluloid. Without him, we would have an enjoyable if messy romp with non-acting Orlando Bloom, undead pirates, and a hammy Geoffrey Rush. With him, we have an adventure classic.
In fact, I could find only one problem with this film. A roguish outlaw and an innocent boy team up to save a princess from an evil warlord. 'The Curse of the Black Pearl' does bear striking resemblances to 'Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope', but Han Solo's no Captain Jack.
The film doesn't outstay its welcome. Dead Man's Chest, it's sequel, was a nice attempt and Johnny Depp does brilliantly, even without the surprise factor he's fantastic, but here's hoping At World's End returns to the original's brilliance.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
Not As Bad As People Say
I read a review of 'Dead Man's Chest' which said it's plot was too 'labyrinthine' and that Captain Jack should have jettisoned the original cast and sailed into new waters. While bringing a new supporting cast would've been interesting, this film works fine with the original.
Following Captain Jack's (another brilliant turn by the chameleon-like Johnny Depp) efforts to stop Davey Jones (unrecognisable Bill Nighy) from seizing his soul with his deadly leviathan (a Kraken, for that 1% of the world's population who haven't seen the film) the film is a combination of everything that was good and bad in the first film, skipping the so-so bits.
For instance, the set-pieces in 'Curse of the Black Pearl' were good but there weren't enough. In DMC, we get a cannibal tribe, a water-wheel fight, and a Kraken. In COTBP, we got Orlando Bloom. In DMC, we got too much of the non-acting Orlando Bloom.
Sometimes a hit-and-miss affair, but when you have Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow at his height, with this many special effects, this many set pieces, this many wise-cracks ("You smell funny!" "I got a jar of dirt... I got a jar of dirt..."), and this much fun, it's hard to see the problems.
The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones: Treasure of the Peacock's Eye (1995)
Up There With The Original Trilogy
Treasure of the Peacock's Eye, Chapter 17 of the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, is the type of adventure that made Raiders of the Lost Ark so popular. Even the titles are similar! The story follows young Indy, about twenty (and played rather well by Sean Patrick Flannery), in 1919. The war is over, but Indy and friend Remy discover a treasure map on the battlefield. The map will lead to the Eye of the Peacock - Alexander the Great's fabled diamond.
Also after the diamond is an eye-patched villain, a seductive femme fatale who sees Indy as her prince, and a band of ruthless pirates. It boasts inventive action sequences - for a made-for-TV movie - including a battle with a pirate ship.
The ending, however, is a minor letdown. The question on whether the Eye of the Peacock is discovered or not resolved, but many believe it was featured in the opening of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
A good time!
The Mummy (1999)
Raiders of the Lost Ark meets The Terminator
Stephen Sommers is an interesting person. He 'homaged' the Mummy films of old and many other horror classics in his 'Mummy' films and 'Van Helsing.' Van Helsing was good, the Mummy Returns was shite... but The Mummy was a classic.
Not because it was original - hardly - but it didn't try to be more than it was, had time for a romance, great special effects, John Hannah (a brilliant actor) and Rachel Weisz (a fantastic and beautiful actress), Brendan Fraser doing Indiana Jones, amazing action sequences, good humor... and didn't have the snot-nosed kid from the sequel.
But if there was one scene that truly pulled it away from 'Indiana Jones'-ripoff, it was the Museum of Antiquities scene, with the hoard of Imhotep-zombies attacks. This is more in the vein of horror films - but it works spectacularly here.
7/10 - minus three stars because Arnold Vosloo isn't menacing enough as Imhotep, we don't see all of the Ten Plagues of Egypt (which are fascinating), and we don't see Beni die.
The Mummy Returns (2001)
Promise wasted
The first Mummy film was a great adventure. This film showed so much promise - Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, a giant wall of water, an oasis, The Scorpion King, the double-decker bus chase (ripped off from Live and Let Die), the blimp, the fight at the O'Connell's manor, the Egyptian knife-fight scene...
And yet, due to under-acting by Arnold Vosloo, his (in the film) lover, and the kid who plays Alex O'Connell, and a plot that makes no sense at all, this film falls below average... as well as The Scorpion King, who is the worst special effect seen in the twenty-first century.
The John Hannah scenes are great as always, and Rachel Weisz is channeling Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood here, but Brendan Fraser doesn't seem to be doing much. Urgh. What a mess.
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2003)
Indiana Jones goes to Arabia!
Every few years, there comes a truly brilliant game. There was the original Prince of Persia. Then Tomb Raider. Then Halo. Then there was Prince of Persia: Sands of Time. With its lead romancing a princess, battling a Vizeer, and racing through a giant - and proportionally stunning - palace, it's like Indiana Jones goes to Arabia.
The Sands of Time have accidentally been unleashed, and have transformed EVERYBODY INTO SAND CREATURES, except for Farah, the Vizeer, and the Prince, who have been carrying special items (Farah wears a medallion, the Prince has the Dagger of Time, and the Vizeer has his staff). It becomes a race to make it to the top of the palace's tower and suck the sands back into the Hourglass, before they take over the world.
Fantastic graphics and a brilliant story. And - once you finish the game - you can unlock the original Prince of Persia and play that!
Story 10/10 Sound 8/10 Graphics 9/10 Overall 10/10