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Open Grave (2013)
Oh my God.
Now, I'm not a very critic person. I always see a lot of incongruences, bits or lots of bad acting, plot holes and more of the common flaws from a logical point of view in 98% of the films I watch. We probably all do.
Regardless, that's not that much of a curse. I'm very forgiving of these things since I firmly believe that art is beyond any words and logic. But there are films that will make you want to dance ballet in slow motion no matter how much of a metalhead you are and there are films that will make you go irreversibly insane and jump off your window as you scream "WHY, GOD?".
This one is the latter kind of film.
The physical pain that watching this movie produces is unbearable. Jesus Henry Christ. I hadn't seen a movie this colossally bad in years. It's just unreasonable. I cannot get myself to elaborate. It's just brain-damaging. It's so bad it'll liquefy your eyes. It's so laughably ridiculous the laws of physics will turn stupid and you'll start to float and go through solid matter. It's so potently idiotic it'll make you go ape mode, punch the screen you're playing this blasphemy on and eat it. In some cases you'll almost completely lose your ability to speak any language. The only things you'll be able to do is scream and curse.
If you've watched even just a frame of this tragedy, go cleanse your soul with The Godfather before it's too late.
If you have started to see any of the symptoms I've previously mentioned having effect on yourself, there is no turning back. Get your car or steal one if you don't own any, but you need to get away from your loved ones before you start a violent ape epidemic.
Now if you may excuse me, I have to burn the TV I watched this on.
Let's all hope Gandalf forgives us.