colbertmark-65901 Reviews

Shotgun Wedding (2022)

Pretty bad

[2/10 · 27 January 2023]

I gave it a go. Has an okay cast, thought it's worth giving it a try. Really really regretted it. Couldn't find any of the jokes funny, nothing seemed to land well. I think Josh is better suited to action & romcoms. He felt uncomfortable to watch, almost had a vibe that he didn't want to be there. Maybe Armie Hammer becoming a one-time cannibal was good for him, missing out on this part.

I think a younger cast might've been better. Seemed strange that J Lo was the bride & her mother in law isn't that much older. Maybe Zac Effron & Lily James, maybe Emma Stone? Or even Channing Tatum? I don't dislike Josh or Jennifer, just didn't work well in this.

Could be just that i'm getting older and this is the new style of comedies that are popular. I'll take Weekend At Bernies or The Burbs any day over a lot of comedies out these days.

The White Lotus (2021–2025)

Liked Season 1, 2 not so much (SPOILERS!!)

[6/10 · 6 January 2023]

Enjoyed season 1, the characters all had a good contribution to the show. I liked the continuing effect of trying to figure out from episode 1 who the dead body was going to be. It basically could've been any character. Was upset it was Armond because he was my favourite character, and most entertaining.

Season 2 i couldn't get into. None of the characters or storylines were giving me anything to look forward to. In fact, most of them annoyed me a lot, which was completely different with Season 1. And the finale i couldn't understand. Why build up Tanyas' character so much at the end, and put her in a position where she basically won, and killed all the people out to get her, then write her off like that. I wouldn't mind if she was in no further seasons, but her character was great over seasons 1 & 2, could've given her a better send off. It just left me annoyed that her husband Greg that was in on all of this will end up inheriting her fortune. I would've rathered any other character to be one of the bodies, than Tanya.

And if Season 3 has follow on characters from Season 2, might give it a miss.

Scream (I) (2022)

Disappointed- Warning Mass Spoilers!

[3/10 · 4 March 2022]

Here i was thinking maybe they were going to make a good Scream film finally, after the last couple weren't so great, and i was sadly disappointed.

Firstly, the film felt like just a boring re-do of other Scream films. There was nothing in it that made me think 'wow, that's different'!

Secondly, guessing the killers was ridiculously easy. Movie Producers are predictable when casting. They see a girl in a film called Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, playing a crazed nutter, and go 'she'd be great as a killer in this!' Then for the second killer you just have to finger the most famous of the rest. Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaids' son from The Boys! Too easy.

They could've gone down so many better paths. How about 3 killers? What about the sister in hospital as an option? Makes more sense. She had massive motive.

If it were me i would've done this. Had Dewey stabbed in the tussle that killed him, but not so grotesquely. Had 3 killers at the end. Final scene they're in the kitchen explaining the reason why they did it, suddenly ghostface walks in. Everyone including killers are staring in shock, who the hell is this?! Ghostface starts killing them (murderers) one by one. Takes mask off at the end, it's Dewey, Gale & Sidney were in on it. He didn't actually die, and he ghostfaced them royally!

Only bit i liked about this film was Skeet. Great cameo.

The Little Things (2021)

Has moments, but could've been so much better

[3/10 · 8 May 2021]

The things i enjoyed-

Characters were good, especially liked Jared Leto's portrayal of his character. Lots of great side characters too, played by well known actors.

Liked the first 3/4's of the film, the ending went downhill into a cloud of nothingness.

Things i didn't like-

The score had some odd moments, felt like i was watching an episode of a tv show. Didn't fit the scenes i was watching. Would've been better with zero background score.

Some unnecessary scenes like Denzel with the ex wife.

The ending ruined it for me. Could've been so much better. Would've been much better if after Rami got the go ahead from Denzel to accept the cover up at the end, that we (and Rami) discover that Denzel the whole time was the murderer, Rami puts two and two together with the constant Denzel chewing gum and connect it to the 'mouthwash product' found at one of the crime scenes. We then realise the girl Denzel accidentily shot, he had to because she knew Denzel was the murderer, and have the red barrette thing turn out to be a set up by Rami to capture Denzel. Denzel returned to this town to boost his ego and go untraced as the murderer to his young replacement Rami.

But instead we get an open ending, not knowing if the killer is still out there, not knowing what really happened.

Younger (2015–2021)

Not bad

[7/10 · 19 June 2020]

Enjoyable show, i prefer the side characters and their storylines compared to the main star. The main character's storyline can be quite annoying at times, and it's hard to find her likeable in the choices she makes. It's also a little annoying that she's 40 playing a 26 year old, but she unfortunately looks no where near 26. Yep, definitely like the side characters more.

Side note- One thing that has done my head in is i can't get past the fact that the character Lauren looks identical to Woogie from There's Something About Mary, plus Charles' ex Pauline has Garth's mouth (from Wayne's World). It sounds nuts, but when you watch you'll see what i'm talking about.

Rolling Thunder Revue (2019)

Archive footage awesome!

[8/10 · 18 June 2019]

The archive footage is great, but most of the interview stuff is nonsense.

Watching Sharon Stone's terrible performance was cringe worthy. I don't think i've seen a worser attempt at making up fake stories in my life. She was lying so hard i had to skip her bits.

Just enjoy the archive footage. Worth a look.

Kin (I) (2018)

Better than i expected

[7/10 · 1 June 2019]

Not a bad little film, was not expecting it to be this good. Almost gave it 8. Not sure why it's currently got such a low rating on imdb. Franco plays the villain well, ensemble cast were great, the main kid was great. Good storyline, pleasantly surprised.

Game of Thrones (2011–2019)

My conspiracy theory

[5/10 · 22 May 2019]

Corey Feldman has gone on and on for a long time about the people in Hollywood abusing young actors, and that one day they'll be outed.

Well I have a conspiracy theory about the GOT final season. Months before the season came out, several full scripts appeared, with very different storylines to what actually eventuated. Back in 2018 betting agencies started listing betting for the final season. At first, the bet 'who will rule the iron throne at season end' had Bran as favourite (and he remained there for the majority of the time), but a close second was 'Jon Snow's child'. He didn't even have a child. But a script that was here there and everywhere said Dany died during childbirth (Jon's child), and that child ruled at season end.

Now these betting agencies prove over and over they know the outcome of any tv show, they repeatedly give away who will win WWE matches, and who will win shows like The Bachelor and Survivor, before they've aired. So they definitely knew something if they had an odd selection like Bran as favourite from the beginning.

My theory is, we got such a terrible ending, because some naughty dealings were going on behind the scenes, making a lot of people rich.

Let's see if this review gets posted!

Game of Thrones: The Iron Throne (2019) Season 8, Episode 6

Dracarys these writers

[1/10 · 20 May 2019]

If they can wait two years to give us a final season, why not just wait for the books to be completed by Martin?

I gave up on this show several years ago, because once the books finished, and terrible writers took over, the story lines died. What happened to shocking episodes? Like Jamie losing his hand, Ned losing his head, the bloodbath wedding? They all disappeared when the books ran out. And stereotypically boring Hollywood writers took over.

I watched this last season because a friend informed me in 2018 that they'd seen bits of the Season 8 storyline, and what they told me sounded great! Unfortunately, they were wrong, and none of what they said came true. Instead we were held off for two years to receive this butchering of what was once great. My eyes are still burning.

My main issues. The massive season by season build up to an epic fight with the white walker army comes down to one episode that felt like a mad rush to move on to the next battle against Cersei. The scenes were very dark and hard to figure out, a lot of the episode was pointless shots of Dany & Jon on dragons in the sky with little visibility. Bran went for a fly in a crow. Very helpful that, nice going son! Was there any sword fighting with the Night King & his closest soldiers? Nope, a lame attempt by Theon, then Arya easily kills him in two seconds. The fight was not well thought through. Of course your soldiers that die are going to be resurrected, maybe flame as much of the dead as possible to begin with? Instead of sending soldiers toward obvious death. It was a horrendous end to the huge build up against the dead army.

Sam. Let's create a character who likes knowledge and loves to read. So he cures Jora of a nasty skin rash, and creates drama by telling Jon he read in Who Weekly that he's a Targaryen. That's it. Awesome. Maybe push him towards helping with all this reading? Maybe become something like a sorcerer? Help in this last episode, maybe kill Dany in revenge for his family? Nope, useless fatty cures skin infections and creates trouble. Plus a bunch of people die trying to save him. Waste of a character.

Arya. Big build up to being the girl who can take people's faces, utilises it in the final season? Nope. Goes for a lengthy walk with the Hound to go kill Cersei, then Hound says you can leave and she immediately goes yeah okay, seeya. Then stares at a white horse for an eternity last episode, and disappeared this episode and she's still there in the rubble and ashes.

Sansa. She's always been annoying, unlikeable. Are you seriously telling me that when she gets the poos that everyone's picking Bran as ruler on the throne, and says they'll be independent (so she can wear a pretty crown), no one else sitting there is going to have a problem with that?? In reality more of them would jump forward and go 'we'll be independent too!' But nope, Hollywood writers can't kill too many main characters, so let's just give them all a happy ending.

Tyrion. I know he's little, but how many bullets can this dude dodge? It's ridiculous. Varys died, so should've this character. But nope....Hollywood writers! He's loved by fans, can't kill him.

Bran. Can someone please tell me what he ever did that was helpful? He knew the white walkers were coming for him, maybe if you calculate it, he killed more people than Dany did in that last episode! And how is it right that he be ruler? Kids that acted the way he talks, in my school, would've got their heads flushed! And Sportsbet in Australia gave away he was ruler back in 2018, he was hot favourite. He has been nothing but a burden all the way. AND WASN'T EVEN IN A SEASON!

Dany. Every season builds her up to be this strong dominant female.....ooh let's make her power hungry now, and kill her. The version i heard was she did NOT go crazy and kill a bunch of people, she was pregnant with Jon's baby, died giving birth. Baby (as it should've been) became ruler on the throne, because they actually have the right to be there. End of series.

This season was horrendous, this finale episode was nightmarishly plain and boring. I miss Breaking Bad. I miss The Wire. I will never miss the final seasons of this bloodbath. Shame on you writers, shame on you.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson (2019– )

Better than SNL & Amy Schumer Show

[9/10 · 17 May 2019]

I have never enjoyed SNL from childhood through to now, in my forties. The skits were 85% of the time unenjoyable, and if they didn't have a special guest, the show would not exist. It has always felt like it's a bunch of friends laughing at themselves, and not realising the skit they're in isn't funny.

Amy Schumer's show is much better, but still only has about 30% funny skits.

I think you should leave, i'd say i've found 80% at least, funny. Some of the skits i really loved. It's really worth having a look.

And weirdly, there is some special fx in some of the episodes that's better than Game of Thrones fx, but for some reason GOT complains their special fx costs too much.

Awesome show, short episodes, weekend binge for sure.

Archer: Danger Island: Strange Doings in the Taboo Groves (2018) Season 9, Episode 5

Amber Nash comment

[8/10 · 15 May 2019]

Love this show, and i've thought what i'm about to say before, Amber Nash does the best crying sobbing woman voice acting on earth! It cracks me up every time i hear her.

Well done Amber! You're an awesome talent.

Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward (2019 TV Special)

Definitely the best comedic delivery

[10/10 · 12 May 2019]

Can't get past how perfect his delivery is. I've watched this 7 times already, love it. Up there with Thoughts & Prayers.

His one fail, he lost it and laughed during the murder suicide bit. He would've hated that he stumbled there.

If you like dark comedy, definitely give this a look. If you're sensitive.....do not watch this performance!

Lunatics (2019)

Love Chris Lilley, but not his current stuff.

[2/10 · 6 May 2019]

Big Chris Lilley fan, but this current installment, and his last one i watched, just didn't do it for me. My favourite Chris Lilley production was Summer Heights High. And the reason for this is the 3 characters Jonah, Ja'mie and Mr G were characters we already knew before seeing them perfectly portrayed by Chris. They were characters that were easily recognised by us all, and it was so funny because he did it so well. But Chris's more current characters, aren't familiar to us. And that is the main thing he needs to find in new characters. Familiarity. A woman who is a therapist to dogs? It's a ridiculous character, wouldn't surprise me if there were people like this out there, but she wasn't familiar to us. How about a fish & chip shop owner, who always loves chewing the customers ears off about Afl or Nrl, has a daughter side character who's dating someone he doesn't like, always fighting with the bakery next door, covers up the cockroach problem when inspectors come by. How about a promotions model who has had a little facial surgery, wants to look like a Kardashian, works at a laser clinic, has a lot of competition from girls who look exactly like her (fat lips, too much makeup), side character mother is a 50 year old version of her. Or maybe a weird uncle, in his 30-40s, single, can't quite tell what his secret is, there's something definitely a little odd about him, have bbq get togethers and family occasions displaying how clearly awkward he is. Characters that are familiar to everyone. Jonah was perfect, Ja'mie was perfect, Mr G was perfect. I want to see more of that!

Are You in the House Alone? (1978 TV Movie)

Not a Horror movie!

[5/10 · 1 May 2019]

I've fallen into the trap of watching this movie for a second time recently, thinking it's a horror movie because IMDB have it listed as 'horror'. It is not! Thriller yeah, drama yeah, not a horror movie. It's free to watch on youtube if you're interested. Okay movie, but the ending is a bit of a fizzer, and i feel there's an underlying moral to the movie, and that is- 'rich people can get away with anything!'

The Devil's Daughter (1973 TV Movie)

Love Shelley Winters

[6/10 · 16 April 2019]

Shelley is gold in this. She really plays these type of characters well.

Not a bad film. A little over an hour long. I was a little confused why Diane immediately started dating her dead friends' boyfriend. Didn't quite feel right.

Lots of known great actors, i enjoyed it.

Watched it for free on Youtube.

The Hearse (1980)

Not too bad

[5/10 · 16 April 2019]

Watched this for free on Youtube. Not too bad a film. I was a bit confused as to why she didn't just leave! She got repeatedly harassed on many occasions, just shrugged it off over & over! Get the hell outta there woman! The hearse is gonna getcha!

Game of Thrones: Winterfell (2019) Season 8, Episode 1

Not loving it

[5/10 · 16 April 2019]

You've got six episodes left to finish the series, how about not fiddling around, let's make this big! Unfortunately no.

I loved the first few seasons, loved the shocking episodes where things would happen that you would not expect. It now just keeps going downhill for me.

And now this ridiculous wait for this opening episode. The flying on the dragons was not necessary. They could've shown us 2 seconds of daenerys & jon flying off on them and that would've been sufficient. Instead, total time waster. Too many reunions. They took too much air time. Should've factored in some of these reunions last episode of season 7 somehow. The length of the arya hound reunion was how long they all should've been.

They couldn't give us a tiny glimpse of the white walkers? I feel they did this ploy in former seasons, just give us a taste, we're not junkies needing a fix, we're adults wanting an entertaining show!

I am feeling that once this show ends, there will be a mass of loyal fans screaming hooray, and a lot us with many unanswered questions, that longed for the good ol' days of the earlier seasons.

Hostiles (2017)

Good movie, ny version needed subtitles

[7/10 · 7 April 2019]

Good movie, great storyline and characters, good casting. The version i watched was on Foxtel in Australia, had no subtitles, needed it during the native american languages spoken, and the beardy talking was quite muffled from a lot of the actors. If Casey Affleck had been in it i probably would've blown my brains out with frustration!

Hellraiser: Revelations (2011)

Terrible

[1/10 · 2 April 2019]

The whole time i thought it was Bobby Moynihan as Pinhead. No offense to this actor, but he really didn't look like a Pinhead rep. Storyline was terrible!

The Salesman (2016)

Bit of a fizzer

[3/10 · 1 April 2019]

Haven't seen too many Iranian films, not sure if in Iran this is a great flick, didn't do it for me. About 20 minutes too long, not sure who i was supposed to be siding with, fizzer of an ending. Looking back, i think i may have been too distracted by the husbands' furrowed eyebrows, throughout the whole film! The thing that got me the most, a horrible thing has happened to his wife, he seemed zero sympathetic! Academy Awards bungled once again.

Arrested Development: Family Leave (2018) Season 5, Episode 1

Not good

[3/10 · 2 June 2018]

In Australia we had a tv show that was popular in the 80's & 90's called Hey Hey It's Saturday! People liked it, but it got to an era where its' style of comedy wasn't funny anymore, so it got the axe. Years and years later the host of the show tried to resurrect the show, and it was clear it was never going to work.

Arrested Development continuing has that feel. It had two awesome seasons at the start, and it just can't re-enact it. Someone is trying to keep it going but it just isn't there. I'm not even sure why the actors agree to come back and try to keep it going. It is known that there are issues amongst some of the stars, and i even heard that Portia is retired from acting and did a lot of green screen shooting. Feels like they're just doing it for money and maybe to catch up with old friends.

This first episode just wasn't right. Why so much Ron Howard narrating? Why white borders on the screen for previous season flashbacks? The storyline is rubbish, there's nothing funny at all, i don't know if i'll watch anymore episodes.

Big fan of seasons 1 & 2 but i wish they'd just let it go. Please! If you don't, how about this, give me an equal blend of every character in each episode, give me Mrs Bluth's politically incorrect comments, Michael being duped by his family, Mr Bluth on the run, Tobias in some embarrassing situation, Gob in a depressing situation, less non-stop music, less Ron Howard, good blend of non-family characters like Henry Winkler, yada yada yada

The Lives of Others (2006)

Ending made me tear up

[9/10 · 12 May 2018]

Awesome movie. Def worth seeing. I told my wife i had something in my eye, but the ending made me tear up like a little girl. Feel good ending like...Shawshank Redemption-ish.