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christiannelite
Reviews
The I-Land (2019)
The worst cheesiest low quality production of the year
This is absolutely cheap, trashy, and the worst acting on the planet. Netflix is charging people for half finished shows and this D-List show along with movies you can watch for free. I wouldn't let someone pay me to watch this again. Nope. Save yourself a day it's the worst show of 2019.
Totally mimicking "LOST" but cannot even compare to such an epic show.
Basically these 10 people wake up 39 steps away from one another on a deserted mysterious island. What do they do first? Sun bathe and go swimming. Gtfo! They woke up with no memory of how they got there but that's the first thing they do? They turn out to be in a simulation as they are on death row. I've seen this theory in so many low budget movies. In a future not too far from where we are there's an island and there's always some group of people being sent there to either fight dinosaurs or each other but it's the same stupid story!!! Seen this in 12 different ways and it's still garbage.
Seriously Netflix is either being run by kids or the three stooges because they are absolutely clueless lately. Canceling REAL ORIGINAL MATERIAL and great mysteries. If you value your life skip this garbage.
The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (2019)
Good remake.
It looks like the original. For that I'll give a compliment. Wish it was anything other than Skynet aka Netflix but I'm here to write support for Jason Isaacs and not Netflix. This was well done. 80s baby approved and appreciated! The whole thing was very nostalgic and I do appreciate the artistry. I'm worried about it being on Netflix though, they have a history of canceling shows half done. Don't get attached to this artistry. The more it costs the more likely it gets dropped. This looked expensive as Sin. Ok bye.
Suspiria (2018)
Butchered classic
I really wanted to disagree with these reviews, so I tried it. I'm so mad at myself I will never get the 2:26:20 of my life back. I had to fast forward the first 36 minutes to get to something active. This was like watching a historical 1.2 star movie in class. Classic torture. To hell with Tilda for taking the check for this tragedy.
Breaking Bad (2008)
It's for trash.
I think people really like to see self-destructive people maybe they want to see how the other half lives, maybe it gives them a sense of being a bad ass because they like a show so disgusting, but I am seriously worried when so many people find such trash to be brilliant. I watched it, the show is grimy.
The Church (2018)
A body snatcher stole Mosley, there's no way he did this willingly.
Yo did I miss the intro that this is a comedy? The only reasonable explanation Bill Moseley to this movie was the body snatchers came and replaced his existence. There's just no way. If I could give this travesty a negative -64 I would.
Ok bye. Blessed Be.
Secret Obsession (2019)
Stevie Wonder can see who the culprit is in the trailer.
Yo! Wtf happened here? This doesn't contain spoilers. The trailer and first 5 minutes do. Unless this was a remake of sleeping with the enemy, which I would be furious if they did. This was simply a disgrace to our intelligence.
I prefer my thriller / suspense to be idk .... perhaps Suspenseful! Don't even bother with the trailer not that it matters, it's revealed who the bad guy is in the first 5 minutes but the trailer tells you in 2 minutes. Yeah so there goes the elements of mystery, building suspense, surprise, and the shocking truth. It was poorly written, badly directed, and the actors, well the best one in this Kaka show would be the You're in Good Hands Allstate Guy! The slap in my time's face! I didn't finish. I don't even care how it ends and I have a mental thing, even if the movie is Skata, I'll finish it. This was not worth the disappointment. Ok bye.
Alien Abduction (2014)
This is comedy gold
The movie has something that will stay with me until the end of time.
Spoiler ahead
So this one scene the father encounters an alien and it's the most ridiculous looking Spencer's Gifts costume head in the galaxy but this Fearless Leader of this family freezes in fear screaming like a stabbed banshee and does nothing but drop dead. I have it saved when I need fast laugh.
Ok bye.
I Am Mother (2019)
It's not for the brain capacity of a boiled peanut....
Reading these reviews has taught me why we need directions on shampoo bottles...
Not everyone has the capacity to understand this film. It's not going to hold your hand and lead you to the answers. It unfolds like a good story should.
Start reading books. You'll appreciate the effort in films like this more. It was suspenseful, Mysterious, intriguing, and you wanted to pick up clues if Mother truly had good intentions or not, it should have kept it's audience on edge if they followed. I will say when the Momma Droid started running like the Devil in Legend I had a little bit of anxiety... It will haunt my dreams for my life.
The Silence (2019)
Stop Plagiarism in new Movies.
This film is literally taking from other films that have done well and put it in a blender. We've seen killer bats before, but these look like the creatures that were attracted to sound in Pitch Black. You have a deaf teenage girl like in The Quiet Place abc it's like Birdbox. It's getting boring in Hollywood. It's as if the talent of being original is now a lost art. I can't follow any of these new directors or screen writers. They are all thieves and have the brain capacity of a boiled peanut. I'm done with Hollywood. I rather watch documentaries on YouTube... they are more interesting than what Hollywood is offering. Shame on Netflix. Anything for a damn dollar.
Don't Blink (2014)
Perfect Snuggle Night Horror Night flick
Actually surprised this had such an extensive cast from my 90s nostalgia lol. So ok I had to check it out with my stupid husband, that I'm mad at RN, so I'm not talking to him and wanted to watch a movie alone. But it even intrigued him so we watched together and I ended up talking to him just because I needed some answers or feedback on this. So it served two purposes, my husband can be in my presence again and I was really into it. Don't Blink, you'll miss something, It's weird, mysterious, intriguing, and entertaining. I was entertained by the cast and the storyline. This was wild. Take a night to watch it if you have it on your list. 7/10 .... would recommend.
Lucifer (2016)
I shouldn't love it but I do
It's actually a brilliant show that's both intriguing and entertaining! You get drawn in and very tempted to stick with it. Irony at it's finest. Well I gave into temptation and delivered myself to evil via Netflix. God forgive me for loving the cast so much but it is a great show. I find it similar to iZombie which I love, you have a solid cast that is easy to connect with. I love Mazzy or Mazey I find her just so badass and really a voice of reason for the cast. I'm an ORTHODOX Christian so I pray for forgiveness after watching but it's one of my guilty pleasure. (Hope you get my puns and humor) also worth noting the Star aka MorningStar really looks like he could be Satan with scary eyes that give me a freak out.
Elizabeth Harvest (2018)
It's for people with intelligence
I do recommend this movie to anyone that likes science. It's a brilliant film and with depth. The metaphors shouldn't go unnoticed. Elizabeth plays the part of a submissive wife while Henry is a narcissistic abusive power hungry god complex doctor. A brilliant scientist. Is there a coincidence that there names are Henry and Katherine? I think not. There are no coincidences in this life. King Henry and his daughter Katherine. You will understand why while watching them together.
For the synopsis.
We start with the two main characters in the honeymoon phase. They come home to Henry's smart house. He has fingerprint code locks on every room. He gives her a tour of the home and at the end of the tour, he brings her to a frosted glass door that her fingerprint will NOT open, she's forbidden and must never disobey her husband by entering. But of course curiosity killed the Kat (pun intended) But Henry was well aware that she would in fact enter the room, he was counting on it. Elizabeth has a very deep dark secret and I won't unravel it it unravels itself fairly early in the film. But there are multiple twists after the room reveal that I found intriguing and brilliant. The movie is for intellectuals, not for the brain capacity of a fast and furious fan as another critic noted. If you have the brain capacity of a 19 year old frat boy skip this one you will be bored. No need for the 1 -3 Stars from some reviews as it simply went over there heads.
Extinction (2018)
Intelligent and very clever
I want to address some of these reviews. First of all this movie is easily explained if you actually watch it and can follow a storyline. The reviews on the two kids screaming bloody murder IS VITAL to the storyline. It is easy to understand why I'm so shocked people do not understand why it was important for these girls to show so much emotion and pure fear. That will be explained at the twist. It was literally vital for their characters to show proper emotions to the invaders. They were acting like how any child in war responds. Blows my mind people cannot understand why the director had them so emotional.
Second the twist was incredible and now the Title Extinction has more value.
This is a well written, well directed, and well produced movie if you appreciate sci-fi's. It was unusual and very interesting plot twist. I enjoyed it as a sci-fi lover. You really have to sit and watch this one, every piece of it has meaning and messages to understand. I give it a 10
How It Ends (2018)
Spare yourselves
This movie was Kaka !
I think people in Hollywood are just throwing anything out there that somebody will put money behind to produce and wishful thinking it's a hit on Netflix! This was a disaster a waste of money and more importantly time WASTED that nobody will ever get back who had anything to do with this film.
The title however is suiting there is no ending there's no ending they ran out of money in the budget was over I don't now but there's no ending
The Signal (2014)
Starts slow but really gets interesting
I was bored at first and stopped paying attention but then I came on here and read some reviews that made me want to give it a try. I made the right choice, this movie was amazing and well done science fiction. It plays on different conspiracy theories if you pay attention you can easily pick them up. I'm convinced people that didn't enjoy this film simply need everything explained in every movie they watch I mean SPELLED OUT for them. It was easy for me to make connections and I found the film brilliant. Everything is in fact explained but you need to pay attention to put it together. It's not just told to you. It's a film that keeps you interested and really stimulating your thought process. Other words, if you need a simple action sci-fi then this is above your thought process skip it. If you like a brilliant movie that keeps you thinking then this is for you. The twists were exciting and the cgi was incredible for the budget I was pleasantly surprised. I give it a 10 for all over quality from the plot twist to the action cgi it's a cool movie and I especially loved the ending.
iZombie (2015)
Changed my mind glad I did
Never had any interest for years to watch this show, but when I got sick one day and it was on Netflix, I already finished Z Nation so I was on Zombie mode. It was the best decision I made on Netflix was starting this show. It's my favorite I adore Liv and Clive working together to solve murders by eating their brains, she cooks these gourmet meals with brains. She has a very attractive boss A British doctor with amazing hair and witty. Her best friend is a lawyer at the district attorney's office and her very attractive and charming ex fiancé is still in the picture. They are all a team that work together for the most part. I don't want to give anything away but it's one of the best crime/zombie shows on television. It gets wild so hang on. I give it 10/10
The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)
Thrilling but not logical
They don't even try. These family members practically give the bad guys their life right off the bat. There is 0 logic in this. I understand it's based on true events but if you think two women will just allow a little white Girl to attack them without even trying to defend themselves you're a fool. At least show them trying to survive. The first kill was too easy. There was 1 person in the house with two girls. You're telling me they didn't try to punch her not once to fight for their life?
Delirium (2018)
Psychological Thriller / Horror / thought provoking
This movie begins explaining nothing. First of all.
Second it's great they didn't explain why our main character Tom, was committed to a mental institution for the criminally insane. I mean 20 years and he's 33ish so clearly something awful happened as a teen with his brother Alex. That's all you can put together they tell you nothing till halfway through but it's quite a shock. It's extremely disturbing and intense. Now to the plot. The movie is well done as far as melting a schizophrenic reality with everyone else's reality. It's confusing what is real and what is an illusion. Then strange occurrences start around the house leading Tom to secret passageways and rooms with a voyeur mirror. The passageways have peep holes as it goes through the entire house. The home itself is very interesting. What's even more interesting is how his "episodes" lead him straight to these secret places, they are brought on by strange noises shaking doors opening and eerie phone calls from a private number with moaning and a ton of white noise.... then the brother starts appearing but how can he if he's serving prison time? Is he really home or is it Tom's alternate reality? The phone calls he receives from a private number are chilling. perhaps something from beyond is trying to reach him? Or is it all in his mind?
Game Night (2018)
Fun Night!
Wow this movie did NOT DISAPPOINT! Amazing! Well done in every way. If you're looking for an adventure that will keep you on your toes and in laughter, look no further! This is an excellent film that is nonstop hilarious.
Demon House (2019)
If you're looking for a scare
I'm very critical of horror genre. It's my genre of choice so I'm very particular.
This movie did not disappoint! It was a true terror documentary/ movie. I remember when the original story was blasted all over social media so to see this film I already was expecting the most. It was the most. I highly recommend this documentary horror flick. I will not watch this film alone after watching it with my future ex husband. It's that chilling.
House on Elm Lake (2017)
It deserves a 0
It was poorly produced, poorly directed, the movie is the worst. I wish I could get back the 26.4 minutes it took from my life. I felt like it was going to turn into a low budget porno movie, right before I almost pulled out my eyelashes from the acting that caused twitching in both my eyes. Hope this is helpful.
If you're into self torture, go for it. If you value your time and your self worth, skip it.
Ok bye