sclafunk Reviews

Santa Inc. (2021)

Watch out for the Equity Brigade

[1/10 · 6 December 2021]

Hands down the most awful content I've ever witnessed in my life. Nobody buys this social justice brigade nonsense anymore, let alone the fact that absolutely ZERO human beings think or talk like this , even taking the relentless & incessant mind control social engineering in every single thing these days, out of the equation. Be a decent human being, work hard, cause no harm & take no crap, and I don't care what you do in your home.

This is meant for kids. This is meant to be something kids are deterred from watching, making them want it more, and having the thematic propaganda sink into their developing brains. Their vision is a new world order.....

Eternals (2021)

Cosmic marvel is going to be wrung out for every cent at price of the storytelling.

[2/10 · 12 November 2021]

Two Thumbs way, way, way up; except out of ten Thumbs. Cosmic marvel is going to be totally demolished. Systematically deconstructed, whilst adding numbing, emotionally distant CGI action, for the lowest common denominator to enjoy at the expense of any complex meaningful storytelling whatsoever. Enjoy!

Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021)

U can't even laugh at it for being bad.

[2/10 · 19 July 2021]

LeBron has the emotional range of a brick wall. The biggest facial expression he makes the entire movie is the photoshopped smile on the poster. This was an abomination of blasphemous proportions. I dunno what blasphemy even is, but this is probably it.

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

These Studios really think we are idiots.

[2/10 · 27 December 2020]

I dunno where to even begin with this, the latest installment of "green screen plays filmed, & animated in post". I fell asleep 3 different times, once during an action scene. That's how dull they were as a whole. It took me over 4 hours to watch it. Do with that tidbit what you will, but know I'm not a fall asleep during movies kinda dude. Honestly, I would've written a better script than this for free, had I seen it beforehand. No wonder The Studio put their whole entire slate of releases on Digital streaming. Or maybe I have rampant out of control misogyny, and am incapable of admiring films with strong female leads. That must be it. Silly me. Disregard this entire review sans the last couple sentences. I promise to do better.

Mulan (2020)

Mediocre

[4/10 · 5 September 2020]

Completely superficial wanna be crouching tiger hidden dragon, emotionally distant movie. It's very hard to articulate as to why. Something about the acting seems like they're not fully invested, almost like you know they're simply in front of a green screen for hours on end whilst filming, with very little actual acting, behind dialogue, being done. It's not horrible, at this point Disney production value and budget are so high, it's next to impossible to make something than isn't At the very least enjoyable to look at for a couple hours. I would skip It and show the kids, House of Flying Daggers, I did. It wasn't even close which they enjoyed more.

Ilana Glazer: The Planet Is Burning (2020 TV Special)

So so so so disappointing

[3/10 · 10 January 2020]

I think she needs Abby. Broad city is pretty great, but based on this. I don't think Ilana has been doing standup very long. She has charisma but the writing is super weak. She should Stick to surreal absurdist type stuff it's def her strong point. I get it, discrimination sucks, and there are hateful people in the world. I'm so tired of hearing about the same 5 woke topics, beyond that, at this point it's simply lazy and over safe. I can't wait for the first comic or writer to evolve us past this pretend to be woke to appease/entertain/ market to a bunch of people who pretend to hate capitalism.

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee (2016–2022)

Orange Man Bad

[1/10 · 7 November 2019]

I don't vote for president. I don't emotionally invest in the process whatsoever. I remove myself and try to pull the objective truth out all of it. This tho, is unbelievable. Pure manipulation, emotionally targeted & driven rhetoric. The entire ep i happened to catch was making fun of trump. That isn't an exaggeration, the entire thing which culminated in climbers proving they could climb over the same wall DT is building. I get it, orange man bad. This is branded as "comedy news", of which there is none. Regardless of political leanings, It really scares me if people regularly watch this program. Reality has gotten so polarized if I point out an objective fact that happens to look good for trump, I must be a trump supporter, one of two extremes, no middle ground. Show such as this are exactly why. Divide and conquer. Project Mockingbird. Mk Ultra.

Death Note (I) (2017)

No thank you.....

[1/10 · 13 June 2019]

Why? I don't even understand why this was made. The anime this is based on is, IMO, one of the best stories ever told by humankind in any medium. Binge that instead of this. The cinematography is kinda cool in this, the live action remake, and Willem DaFoe was a good choice as the voice of The Shinigami. Those are about the only positives I can find. The guy who plays Kira is awful. There is really no build up, and an hour & a half isn't close to enough time to build the incredible world in which this story takes place. Seriously tho, watch the original anime. I'm not an anime fanboy by any means but when there's a good plot, it can be one of the best mediums to Effectively tell A story....

Wine Country (2019)

Really disappointing

[3/10 · 14 May 2019]

I didn't think Amy P would make something so unoriginal. There really isn't much of a storyline and honestly most of the jokes derive from making fun of itself for being exactly as predictable as you think it's going to be. It has about 17 too many dancing to cheesy old school song dancing scenes. If you took those out it would honestly be under an hour long. U can also tell so many scenes were just the Actresses fooling around and improv-ing, but not it a way that fits within the movie or even the characters. U can clearly feel them fooling around out of character. There were a couple funny jokes, but the whole thing feels like Amy taking care of her friends and paying them to hang out in Napa. I dunno, I was really disappointed in the lack of creativity here, and for all the talent in the acting there's a whole lot of phoning it in. It's like the movie cane second to a bunch of middle aged women having an excuse to hang out. Compare this to parks and rec and tell me it's even close to the quality. That was so well done, and this simply isn't.

Guava Island (2019)

Rigged reviews

[5/10 · 26 April 2019]

This was awful. So many sites have been caught rigging and inflating review scores for movies, mostly marvel/Disney, but there's others as well; that are essentially social engineering. I'm guessing this is one of those rigged scores. An overwhelming majority of the 10 score reviews on here are generic statements that can be applied to any movie by Accts that have only reviewed this movie. The only reason I gave it a 5 is in honor of Rhianna's Fivehead. That thing is an evolving ecosystem.

Desus & Mero (2019–2022)

Helped my stomach

[1/10 · 17 April 2019]

If you have an upset stomach, watch this: it will certainly clear out toxins with the quickness as it's intelligence community backed rhetoric is guaranteed to induce nausea. Better than Pepto, Tums, and Imodium combined. Go ahead and throw me a "not helpful" but also don't forget to check out my entire review page and thumbs down all my reviews. The only reason one would do that would be a result of being forced to process a truth one doesn't want to accept. People who simply Don't agree with a take on a tv show don't do that.

Beyond all that. If still you feel cognitive dissonance creeping in, simply go on social media and pick and choose the reality you prefer to be in, Facebook will take care of what you need to see and believe. ¡¡¡¡¡STAY WOKE BBs!!!!!

Love, Death & Robots: Helping Hand (2019) Season 1, Episode 11

Hahahahaha

[10/10 · 20 March 2019]

This was one of my favorites. People are honestly on here, talking about "it's not realistic." It's a sci fi cartoon. chill tf out. This was super intese and made me cringe. It was good storytelling. Haha, it's not realistic. Smoke something and enjoy it, holy moly.

Love, Death & Robots: Lucky 13 (2019) Season 1, Episode 13

Eh

[4/10 · 20 March 2019]

I think this is by far the weakest one in the whole anthology. It's by no means awful, but compared to the rest, it's weak storytelling. It almost seemed like it was gonna be a commercial for something that never got pst the editing room but was sitting around so they used it. It's just has this weird "corporation trying To be hip" feel to me.

Love, Death & Robots (2019– )

What a pleasant surprise

[10/10 · 18 March 2019]

Netflix, this is what we want more of! Not "Tidying Up with Marie Kondo". I mean, can it get More dull than that? I know how to clean my house.

On to the positives: This came out of left field. I Always check at the end of a month what's coming up in the next one on Netflix and this was def not on the list I saw, Bc it totally would've grabbed my attention immediately had it been. I love anthologies, sci fi, and animation; this checks all those boxes. There really isn't even a bad episode out of 18, all under 20 mins I believe; but there are at least 2-3 stelllar short films in here. All are at least good, most are somewhere between "good" & "stellar". They range from brutal & violent, to dark comedy, to straight up goofy. Def NSFW. Please Netflix, take note of this overwhelmingly positive reaction. Make and buy rights to more of this kinda stuff, PLEASE!

All that being said, there is def some NWO Technocratic conditioning and predictive programming going on here, just be aware of that, develop and maintain a sense of symbolic literacy, and it's less likely to permeate into our un/sub-conscious......

Edit/update: second season is absolutely abysmal maybe 1 decent episode out of 8....

Glass (2019)

I'm Sorry it wasn't packed with Lowest Common Denominator CGI superficiality

[10/10 · 27 January 2019]

There is no way anyone can sit here and tell me with a straight face that this wasn't deeper and done with more passion & attention to detail, without going overboard with fanboy service than any Marvel, (I'm sorry, Disney I mean), or dc movie. These characters have real motivations. It wasn't: let's get discouraged by a big bad guy for 5 mins, only to rally and win every time. Don't tell me that's not how the sequel to Infinity War is gonna go. How much better would it be if Disney didn't tell us for 3 years that Captain Marvel is gonna come save the day in the trailers, and it was a surprise? I mean Marvel/Disney was telling us this before Infinity War and she wasn't even in that.

As a real comic book fan, seller, and collector for over two decades(I'm 33), who stopped reading Marvel & DC for the most part Bc of the constant story reboots and 72 variant covers to one issue cashgrabs; I thought this was a brilliant original take on superhumans. Especially Bc we are in a time when Disney cares about nothing but wringing every cent out of the concept, and DC can't seem to figure out how to edit a movie. Honestly I would say don't even read any reviews, good or bad. Doing that before a movie like this is going to subconsciously cause you to look for either negatives or positives and judge the movie as it happens, rather than enjoying and reacting to it as a whole. I thought this was masterful story telling. When this is put with Unbreakable & Split, it's easily the best and most original, creative, super hero trilogy in existence. It's not perfect; the pacing is a a little slow in the middle, but necessary exposition and still interesting. Bruce Willis just seems old and tired, a bit like he doesn't have it anymore; but M Night does a good job of dealing with that. I'm giving it a 10, Bc this is what should be going on in the genre as a whole, and so many people are hating on it with absurdly low scores. Sorry if u want CGI, even without it the fight scenes were dope. There's plenty of that already and much more coming down the pipe, why do u have to hate on this tho? Let it be. There's no way this is a bad movie, objectively speaking. You may not like it and that's fine, But don't poop all over it for others. I mean one of the greatest storytellers Alive, Hideo Kojima, absolutely raved about and loved this flick. That has to mean something.

Tidying Up with Marie Kondo (2019)

Sinimalism to throw out books.

[3/10 · 18 January 2019]

I am going to start cluttering my house again Bc minimalism is getting way too cool for me. It's also gross that she encourages people to throw out books. I can't watch this. The documentary on Netflix, Minimalism, is much better. This whole thing just seems so fake to me.

Janoskians: Untold and Untrue (2015)

Truly beyond Awful. Can't even think of a word that accurately portrays how horrible these guys are.....

[1/10 · 14 January 2019]

No idea who these people are but it's beyond depressing this is what kids find funny today. Every single joke was played out, and trying way too hard. I guess they think their Australian fans don't watch American tv Bc some of the sketches they've done in the past are blatant rip offs of stuff like jackass. This entire movie consisted of them saying things they don't do like hanging out at the library all day; it's funny bc the library is for losers! And these tattooed cool guy hipsters aren't the type to actually hang out there. That's why it's funny! It's such a wild idea that they'd be at the library. Another go to in this awful flick is the gay joke: oh we met in men seeking men on craigs list! Bc it's a weakness to be gay! And they aren't weak, so it's so zany and wild to say they met on a men seeking men online ad, and also why a makeup tutorial for men was so funny as well! Another blatantly stolen idea. The doll in the runaway stroller gag, so beyond played out and stone 12 times over. It's really sad honestly, and goes to show how engineered the movie and tv industry really is. There is no such thing as a path to fame, It's not hard work or even a little bit of luck, and clearly talent has nothing to do with it. Most celebrities today have been groomed to be a puppet pushing really dark occult stuff under the surface of whats outwardly being presented. Who knows if that's the case with these buffoons, but I assure you the Katy Perry's and lady Gaga's of the world werent discovered based on their talent of stage presence, they were groomed from birth and are probably more miserable than anyone reading this.

Magic for Humans (2018–2020)

Dishonestly framed

[4/10 · 12 January 2019]

A lot of these tricks, the guy who they made think was invisible comes to mind as the most prevalent example; are set up with actors, and bad ones at that. Watch that gag, now knowing this, and it's cringeworthy how bad he is. A couple others are video editing and camera work. The host/magician rubs me the wrong way. Just my opinion. Hipster Criss Angel. ¡¡¡MINDOUCHE!!!

Lowlife (2017)

Fantastic low budget indie pulp gloriousness

[10/10 · 9 January 2019]

I loved this movie. If u don't go in expecting The Godfather, I don't see how anyone can hate on the ambition and creativity of the storytelling within. The acting, or casting more accurately, is phenomenal. The female inkeeper deserves an an award, she was really next level, really dove in and went for it all. All the characters are multi dimensional and deep, and their motives make sense. The Nazi who hates Nazis but had to do what he had to do to survive in prison is genius. I would love to see a sequel. Seriously, if U enjoy non linear story telling that makes you think while at the same time not going overboard with obscurity, this is a good choice. Def has some Tarantino influences, but at the same time one of the most unique movies of 2018. It's not perfect, but for the budget it had to work with it comes damn close. You know what kind of movie this is going in, don't expect cgi craziness and big budget nonsense and I really don't see how anyone can hate on this. 10 from me all day, for sure, if for no other reason than to bump up the 6.3 it currently sits at. There is no way this movie should be below a "7.5", bare minimum. I understand it's def not gonna be everyone's cup of tea, a good amount of violence, implied or otherwise, but You don't have to give every flick that doesn't completely blow you away a "1" On here. Enjoy!

Lucifer (2016–2021)

Thinly veiled symbolic power

[3/10 · 3 January 2019]

People do not understand. You can think you're different and unique but when we watch shows like this, our guard is down. Deeply dark ideas in media content such as this, thinly veiled as fantasy entertainment, permeate into our subconscious and therefore, eventually our character, making up whom we are as people. "Priests"(druids mystics, whatever you call them) have always had sway over the world from the shadows, always advised the leaders of men in isolation, and the present is no exception to this. First of all "luciferian" is not satanic. 2 different things. The ruling elite of America and the world, believe Lucifer is the true savior of humanity. I'm fully aware we've been conditioned to retract instantly and abruptly from ideas like this, but the truth is glaringly obvious when we get off the internet and read a book. This all goes back to Helena Blavatsky and Alice Bailey and even Rudolf Steiner to a degree. These people composed the United Nations doctrine. Essentially they believe that we live in a gnostic prison under a false god which is neither good or bad, but ignorant for lack of a better term. They believe Lucifer is the true savior of humanity, the archetype of rebellion against tyranny, and has worked throughout our history to free us from bondage. The fruit from the garden of eden, according to Gnosticism/theosophy was allegedly Lucifer providing us with the tools we needed to evolve our consciousness and begin to break free from the false god. A demiurge secretly conceived and hidden away by its "mother" Sophia, to avoid trouble with "real god"; incidentally creating our universe in the process(fun fact: the Apple logo represents the forbidden fruit, Apple with a bite taken out). Please by all means look up "Gnosticism". this is not my belief, i am simply defining something super pervasive in our society as humans, but veiled under the surface. Point being; these shows stem from these bizarre beliefs. This is not writers randomly pitching an idea, although it was based on a graphic novel by a self admitted theosophist writer. Shows like this are a co orodinated effort, part of a larger Crowleyin agenda to slowly decimate abrhamic religions and the consciousness produced by them.

This is not a bad show honestly. But I wish people would be more aware of where this stuff comes from. The preceding is in no way conspiracy theory. This is well documented stuff, needed imo in any discussion about lucifer in art or any other context. We've been conditioned to view it as so ridiculous no one bothers looking into it for fear of being ridiculed and ostracized. Believe it or not, Hitler carried The Secret Doctrine, essentially Blavatsky's manifesto, with him wherever he went, and got the heinous horrible idea for holocaust within its pages. Even people who don't believe in theosophy concede that.

This stuff is not a joke and opening up yourself to content like this invites in bad energies and entities with it, whether you believe in it or not. The people pulling the strings would be ecstatic if you don't believe it. If you do, however, you probably understand belief is magick. Belief is power. Belief is a variable that makes us more than the sum of our parts. Watch what you want, ya dig, simply try to be aware, for its way too easy to fact check everything im saying. These weird occult philosophies dictate reality. Everything we were taught in history class is a joke, specifically designed to make this stuff seem laughable and deter us from diving down the rabbit hole and discovering how powerful our human consciousness truly is. We are tricked, most predominantly thru TV, to place arbitrary limits on ourselves and our consciousness, limiting our impact on a reality that is far more malleable than we are led to believe. I used to be like you, reader rolling your eyes, I laughed at people who talked about this nonsense. That is, until I got off the internet that manipulates our feeds into echo chambers, and started reading 100-150 year old books; which made the truth plain as day.

I don't know what their end game is, or much that's going on among our ruling class, but I can guarantee you to the highest degree the foundation lies in my preceding words, and I'm sure as heck way closer to the truth than anything you're gonna see in the media; unless of course you've developed symbolic literacy, then it's everywhere. These are the quasi-secret occult rules they play by. That I can say with certainty. Stay aware, stay awake(not woke tho, that's the same people trying to hi jack a movement) Educate yourself. Understand the power of symbols and rituals, and ask yourself why the same ones keep popping up over and over and over. Godspeed. I wish you all the Best in all your endeavors.

Nathan for You (2013–2017)

Unbelievably creative and hilarious

[10/10 · 24 December 2018]

There is nothing else like this on tv, never has been never will be. There were episodes were I was literally rolling the floor uncontrollably laughing so hard. I yearn for more Of this show, tho a season 5 seems unlikely at this point. Multiple campaigns from this show went viral, you're gonna watch it and be like: "OMG THAT WAS HIM!?!!?l". Multiple corporations have stolen his ideas. I can not say close to enough good things about this show. You're honestly better off knowing little as you can just hopping in, you won't stop, make sure u have time to binge Bc you're gonna wanna...

The Kominsky Method (2018–2021)

Blows my mind people are calling this A "masterpiece"

[5/10 · 12 December 2018]

This show is nothing more than entertaining superficial filler. The leads def phone in their performance at times, and it kinda just takes things that old people google(this is legit how Netflix picks their themes, buying user data from social media and google, and taking the most common things a Certain demographic is reading, and making them into subplots, look it up) and makes fiction out of them. This show was not bad it was not good. Decent mindless tv.

Deadly Runway (2018 TV Movie)

One of the best films of all time

[10/10 · 6 October 2018]

Have you ever thought about modeling? This is the movie for you.

Forever (I) (2018)

Wasted potential

[6/10 · 14 September 2018]

By No means bad. I could watch Fred armisen all day, I just love the dude. This show really impressed me with its first few eps setting up the story. It posed a lot of questions I would've liked to have seen addressed which woulda lead to better world building. There are a lot of deep existential themes in here, or rather attempts that don't always land, would probably be a more accurate way to state it. I can respect the effort tho, as it's not overly condescending or preachy like a lot of other Amazon shows. Sometimes the chemistry bt the leads didn't feel believable as a forever type thing. Ending was a cop out, and honestly not a lot really happens in the last half of the season, which I guess is kinda the point within the context of stagnance of marriage, but they set up a bunch of intriguing mystery and just don't really answer it, it's like the show was filmed by 2 different ppl who didn't know what the other was doing sometimes. I would've liked to have seen the reality they're in further addressed. It's like the creators had all this ambition to start with and kinda burnt out by the end, it felt kinda rushed at times. Having said all this, I don't wanna poop all over it, there's a genuine creative and artistic effort here: it's defiently shot well, it just misses as often as it hits, in my humble opinion. It's still worth watching. A second season that addresses some of these issues would retroactively make the first season better, but seems unlikely. Honestly it's better than a 6, it's more like a 6.9, but i didn't feel right giving it the full 7.

Harlots (2017–2019)

Noise.

[3/10 · 21 August 2018]

Cinematography is decent, if low budget, I like the way they used color to add tone to the atmosphere. That's about the only positive I can find. Acting wasn't great. Typically this isn't my cup of tea anyway, but using EDM and dubstep and heavy metal bordering electric guitar in shows about 18th century England should seriously be against the law. Almost as bad as dubstep remixes of Kanye and Jay-Z in The Great Gatsby remake. It's totally counter productive to the atmosphere aforementioned. My lady wanted to check this out and I enjoy historical period pieces so I obliged. She ended up not liking it either. Honestly I couldn't get over the mismatch of music no one over 25 listens to in a show very few people under 25 are going to watch. It made it feel too noisy and cluttered. I may have enjoyed the show if they used music more conducive to the time period in which it is set. I'm sorry to harp on this, but I can't picture what went on in the writers room that lead them to think this was a good idea......