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Reviews
The Lion Guard (2015)
I think The Lion Guard is an insult and a mistake.
No offense, but personally, i think this show is an insult to my childhood memories of The Lion King. I was a child in the 90s and grew up with The Lion King. The Lion King came out when i was 4 years old and was one of my favourite Disney movies of my childhood and of all time. I even loved parts of the sequal, The Lion King 2 Simba's Pride as an 8-year-old. I still have all of my Simba, Nala, Kovu and Kiara toys from my childhood.
But I really don't like this sequal to it at all.
The songs in it are very annoying and bad and they just lack character, melody, meaning and depth, because they are too wordy, random and fast. Simba's new son is very, very annoying. I hate Kion's high, stupid, irritating voice. And his character is very boring and a goody-goody-two-shoes. He always does everything right and never makes any mistakes or gets into any trouble. Kion is always able to take down any enemy he encounters in a matter of seconds with "the roar". This makes the storylines very, very tedious, repetitive and boring. Because the same thing happens in every episode of The Lion Guard. Kion's best friend, Bunga, is extremely annoying and irritating. Bunga is a total mistake. And together, both Bunga and Kion are like the two "Scrappy-Doos" of the series, as in "the giant, big mistakes" who never should have been included in the story at all. I hate Bunga's stupid voice and stupid, repetitive catchphrases (e.g. "Unbungalievable" and "Zuka Zama"). And i think Disney are always being very sexist, because they never made Kiara a hero, even in The Lion King 2. In the Lion King 2 and in The Lion Guard, Kiara is often portrayed and displayed as a scared, helpless and weak victim, and often needs saving, protecting or rescuing, just because she's a girl/lioness. Kiara is Simba's heir, but just because Kiara's a girl/lioness, they always make Kiara into a damsel in distress and a victim who always needs help, and they decided to give Simba a new son with the role of defending and protecting the Pride Lands. Technically, Kiara is Simba's second born cub. I read in an original book of The Lion King that Simba's first born cub was originally a boy cub. And in The 6 New Adventures book series, Simba's first and only child was a son. They named him Kopa. So, technically, Kiara should have been the second born cub and the leader of The Lion Guard. The hero and main character of the original Lion King film of 1994 was a male lion and heir of The Pride Lands (Simba). We have already had a male hero of The Pride Lands in The Lion King. So why do we need another male heir and lion cub being the strong, tough hero again in a sequel of The Lion King? Why did Simba specifically have to have a son to lead the lion guard? What was wrong with making a lioness the hero of the sequal to The Lion King for a change and a difference in contrast with the original film? What was wrong with giving Kiara the role of defending and protecting the Pride Lands? Is it just because she's a girl, and is therefore deemed as too weak to defend The Pride Lands? Furthermore, if The Pride Lands already have a King and Queen to rule The Pride Lands, who lead a pride of lions to protect and defend the territory, why does Pride Rock suddenly need a whole new team called Lion Guard to do this job? If there is a Lion Guard defending and protecting The Pride Lands, then what's the point, importance and role of the King and Queen of The Pride Lands? The Lion Guard outshine the The King, Queen and the first born Prince/Princess of The Pride Lands, and make them look pointless and useless.
This is why this show just upsets the original storylines of The Lion King and is an insult to it's memory. It was a bad idea. And it's a very cheap, badly made, crap show. The animation is terrible. It's horrendous. I wish they would take this off TV and stop producing DVDs of it. It's just awful. It upsets me whenever i see this show advertised. So i just prefer to pretend that The Lion Guard doesn't exist.
Summary: I think The Lion Guard is an insult and a mistake.
The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar (2015)
This is an insult to my childhood memories of The Lion King
This is terrible. It's really, really bad. The only thing good about Kion is his cool red tuft of maine and his banging red paw mark on his shoulder. Other than that, Kion is very annoying, but not nearly as annoying as the stupid honey badger, Bunga. Furthermore, this is incorrect; Simba's first born cub born at the end of The Lion King was a boy cub; a book i had of The Lion King before The Lion King 2 Simba's Pride came out established and confirmed this fact. Disney only decided to make Simba's first born cub a girl in The Lion King 2 because they didn't want the second movie to be too similar to the first. So, furthermore, technically, if Kiara exists, she would have been the second born cub. Therefore Kiara should have been the leader of The Lion Guard. If they wanted to make a sequal to The Lion King which was different and contrasting with the original film, they should have had a plot where Kiara was the leader of The Lion Guard and was being trained to control the roar. They should have had Kiara's older brother from the Six New Adventures, Kopa, as the cub born at the end of the first film, and they should have wrote a storyline where Kiara becomes the hero and saves The Pride Lands; for once the hero should be a girl, not a boy. Kopa could have been jealous of Kiara inheriting the power of the roar, when Kiara's a girl, while he only gets to be king. And Kopa could have had a plan to kill Kiara, but then could have been tricked by Zira's son, Nuka, who is also jealous of his little brother, Kovu being destined to be Scar's heir and new king. Nuka could have pretended to be Kopa's friend and pretended to relate to Kopa by sharing his jealousy of his younger sibling. Nuka could have then led Kopa into a trap, infulenced by his mother, Zira. And then Kopa could have gotten killed by Zira, Scar's girlfriend, and her followers, hence Zira being exiled to the outlands. Kiara could be destined to lead the guard and rule the pride lands, and could have gone through intense training to control the roar. And she could have had the cool red hair and the shoulder paw print. This on the other hand is too predictable and inrealistic; Kion is already strong enough and doesn't need training, even though he's a cub. And the same thing happens in every episode. They need to cut out the annoying animal characters with high, stupid voices and their stupid catch phrases, put in better characters and stop making the tough, powerful hero a boy every time. Disney are so shallow-minded, sexist and stereotyping. It's infuriating! It's so bad, i wouldn't even rate it with one star.