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Reviews
Apollo 10 1/2: A Space Age Adventure (2022)
Fantastic yet also self indulgent
Richard Linklater is one of my favorite directors, I have seen basically all of his films, so it was easy for me to see the trailer and immediately become enticed. All I can say is that it delivered, but it just got too sidetracked.
So I won't spoil the movie but it's semi autobiographical, based in 1960s Texas, right around the first moon landing. The narration is excellent but I will say that it gets totally distracted. Instead of totally focusing on the story, most of the movie is spent in flashback mode. It probably has the record for the most songs/movies/shows mentioned in any film. I swear, it just spends countless minutes referring to pop culture. Which yeah, I would have loved to be a kid back then, everything seemed wild and lovely all at once. But that's where this movie is mainly for people who grew up in that era. It quite literally doesn't do more than pay homage to the 60s and show detialed sentiment.
The animation in the film is absolutely astronomical. I hope they win an Oscar for best animation. No matter how much fodder and pop culture babble there is, you can't help but stare at it. Every frame is a work of art. And also the dialogue. Pitch perfect, hyper realistic, filled with idiosyncrasies and soul. Without those 2 elements I would have been more critical.
All in all this movie is worth a watch, it just won't fit every age group. And maybe even for the people that lived within that era. The one buzzkill was the overly indulgent references. It seemed like they could have said more with less. Not hating on the movie but for me a movie needs balance and this was 2/3 memoir and 1/3 fantasy. Not bad.
Killer Joe (2011)
Infuriating, perverted, and ultimately no reward. Let me spoil it.
Seriously the spoiler will save you the time, watch anything else. The scenes were drawn out, the dialogue is pale and sometimes really odd and deluded. The whole pedophilia aspect was so unnecessary. If you have to reach that low to generate an emotion, well pissed me off and grossed me out at the same time. Am I supposed to like seeing this?
So this kid Chris owes drug dealers money or else they'll kill him, he hears about his mom's life insurance policy/Killer Joe from his mom's current husband, Rex. Rex says that if his mom dies, Chris' sister dottie gets 50k. So they hire Killer Joe, cause the kid is an idiot for not taking the hint. The thing is they can't pay Killer Joe up front, so they do what any logical family would do- offer up their 12 year old daughter for Joe to bang any time he wants until he's paid. In reality, after Chris' mom gets killed, the money goes to Rex. Then we find out that Rex has been sleeping with Chris' step mom, his dad's current wife. So then why don't they just get Rex to give Killer Joe his money for the hit? Oh cause this movie is stupid, Joe kills Rex deeming the check useless.
So Chris comes home with a gun hidden in his coat, Joe, Dad, Dottie and Mom are there trying to acting cool after Mom just gave Killer Joe's chicken a blow job for 5 minutes. Joe announces he's running away with their 12 year old daughter and the stupid family tries to act normal. Chris pulls the gun, and oh guess what? The movie drops any and all logic. Mom STABS CHRIS and he drops the gun as Joe tackles him. MOM AND DAD HOLD CHRIS DOWN AND CHEER ON JOE TO KILL HIM. Dude I don't care that him and his step mom didn't get along, but none of this makes sense. And the dad?? Why?? So then Dottie comes out and shoots Chris, killing him, then a shot in her dad's belly. Then she points the gun at Joe- credits roll. It makes absolutely no sense and if I ever meet the person that wrote this I'm spitting in their face. That was a movie ending from blue hell.
The Killer (2023)
Sharp and gorgeous yet nothing original.
I was eagerly anticipating this film. David Fincher making a movie about an assassin? Sounds great. And it was great. Just not as great as I had expected.
The Killer has a hair-thin plot. A hitman messes up a job, his girlfriend is attacked, and he seeks revenge. Whatever joy that ensues mainly comes in forms of immense detail. That's what this movie is about- truly diving into the mind of the perfect assassin. He narrates the entire endeavor (in which he does an amazing job.) So long story short- it's a revenge film.
The action is superb when it happens, yielding one of the greatest realistic fight scenes I've ever seen in a movie. If not the greatest. The violence isn't over the top which I felt like it should have been due to how detailed and cynical the vibe is. But I don't quite care. To me this film had it all- amazing actors, incredible music, sharp shots and lighting, but it just didn't have the plot points you'd want to see. And maybe that's how the book was? I don't know. Either way don't expect some mind blowing story, expect nuance.
All in all, The Killer was dope, just not as frantic as the preview made it seem. Which kind of let me down. It was another reminder that we can always use the same stories, the same meanings that have been conveyed before, it just needs to have a unique finesse.
Thanksgiving (2023)
Friday the 13th meets Scream and Halloween. I want a sequel.
Thanksgiving is a movie I had always hoped would come to life, like Machete did. It seemed like the perfect premise for a new slasher. And now that it's finally here over 15 years later I can say that I wasn't disappointed.
The plot is relatively simple, just the way we like it with these kinds of films. A black Friday tragedy leads to a string of murders exactly one year later, all with the same suspect, a masked killer. The film does a great job of distracting you with "who-dunnit" temptations and cat-n-mouse terror. By the time that we had an understanding of the killer, I was surprised. That in itself was the nice part of the film, yet the justification of the origin story didn't totally gel. I can't spoil anything or say that it's bad, it just needed a bit more understanding, if anything- more time to delve into the details.
The gore is awesome and definitely practical. The mystery aspect is done well considering that the audience, as well as the characters cannot quite understand why these murders are happening. The writing is not bad by any means, it just simply caters to the typical horror tropes of having disposable characters (and some that you actually hate right off the bat.)
All in all it was very well done, great dialogue for a horror movie, music was awesome although I'm not sure if they made a theme song for it. The effects were dope and the whole ride was fun. The only reason I knocked 2 stars off is because the origin story of the killer isn't so believable given the extremes he went to. Go see it.
Saw X (2023)
Really no point to it sadly.
I've loved the Saw movies since I was a kid, albeit the 7th one. They have a formula, disturbing creativity, and most importantly an ever expanding story full of twists. This had hardly any of that.
It starts off slightly odd, we see John is seeking treatment in Mexico for his cancer- then straight to him torturing somebody. As seen in the trailer, he is betrayed and fooled. I won't spoil anything but I can certainly say that it was the most predictable Saw movie yet. Even Spiral had a somewhat of a twist, and I didn't like that movie. This is basically John tormenting people, most times with no chance of survival. The traps aren't that cool at all, they just become more psychological and personal.
I will say that it truly doesn't add to the storyline at all. After seeking for a reason, an explanation, even an Easter egg- nothing. And not to mention, they almost tried moralizing Jigsaws torture porn games even more than ever before. Love the movies but that's exactly why I know that he is a villain. He says he does these things to redeem people and help them enjoy their life but... how the hell can you do that when he makes you handicap yourself?? It's seriously ridiculous in this one. He's a bad guy.
All in all it really doesn't serve a purpose. No cool traps, minimal reasoning, vague explanation of John and his plans and his capabilities. Even the mid credit scene was stupid. I really didn't wanna hate on this movie but the first thing that I said aloud was "that was really stupid." I just hope that they can make one last great Saw movie with John. This revealed nothing and had a good moment or two. Not a horrible movie but I can't wait to watch the old ones after this.
No One Will Save You (2023)
Why?
I'll make this short and sweet because I didn't finish this movie- I just merely reached the halfway point and decided that nothing could possibly redeem the last 40 minutes I spent hoping for something interesting.
So as you can see by the poster for this film, aliens are involved. A lonely, speechless woman fends off 1 alien, then tries to tell the police, only for us to discover that NOBODY speaks. They all just make gestures. Maybe this eventually had something to do with the plot, and it would have been okay to sit through, but there wasn't a single drop of interest for me. Nothing scary, just classic under-the-bed tension and a few jumpscares which don't even work half of the time. Nothing intriguing because nobody talks. Just go watch something good instead.
Cowboy Bebop: Tengoku no tobira (2001)
I don't understand why anyone would hate
Cowboys Bebop was always a stylish show, yet somewhat tame. It's not like most anime where it's over the top and obnoxious. The movie is just as great as the series in my eyes.
A super cool intro, interesting soundtrack, amazing visuals. The story, like the show, is relatively easy to follow. It's just the right amount of juice to make 2 hours feel like 1. The writing is all there as well since everyone that make the show worked on the film unlike most releases where other writers and producers butcher the content. Loved the somewhat hazy feel of the movie, it makes you feel as if you're disillusioned like the rest of the characters- without being confused about what's going on.
All in all I came to praise. I usually try to guess what people think of a movie before I check the ratings, and I was far off. I'd assume it'd at least be an 80 overall, even though that's not what matters. Some people put it beneath the show but I'd say just watch it for yourself. Loved it ever since I was a kid.
Suspiria (2018)
Somewhat astonishing, but mostly ambiguous
Suspiria is an odd film. It's exceptionally well done, the editing is frantic and keeps you on edge, it's unique, and it has some wild moments. But that doesn't hide the fact that the story is pretty simple and rather drawn out for what it is.
As most horror movies go, this movie revolves around the supernatural- only within a ballet setting. There isn't too much that you couldn't guess, yet it also throws in a curveball or two due to the ambiguous nature of the film. It starts off highly intriguing and disturbing, equipped with great cinematography, music, and editing. Then the finale comes in, and while it throws a slight twist, it ends up being super cheesy in comparison to the rest of the film. The bottom line is that this is another arthouse horror flick that stretches out a simple premise as far as it can and leaves the rest up to you. Some may dig it, but I find it to be lazy and annoying. Like, you constructed this behemoth of an idea and then decided you didn't want to explain anything? I don't need word for word answers in regard to the plot but I mean it just seemed pointless.
Overall I'd say that I wouldn't recommend the movie but I wasn't terrible, and it contains one of the most disturbing scenes I've ever witnessed. But one scene doesn't hold up an entire movie. There isn't anything scary, just kind of eerie and bizarre. It is kind of gory but not enough to tell people about. It has style. But that's about all it has.
Barry: wow (2023)
A near perfect show with a somewhat bleak ending, sad to see it go
Barry has been one of my very favorite shows ever since the first episode. It had an interesting premise I wasn't sure that would work, yet it totally surprised me. The show hardly wastes time at all. By the end of season 3 I felt like they got cornered with the plot, and I guess I was kind of right. Season 4 was a little more strung out and serious, with a few plot points missing.
Anyways to get down to the finale. I can honestly say I don't know if I liked it or not. And that's not a bad thing. The show constantly reminded us that even though Barry wants redemption and faces it at certain points, he is irredeemable. He literally killed people and threatened to kill those he loves in order to protect "them" but mainly himself. They never say why or who or how, but Barry usually insists that if anyone knows about his job, everyone dies. But Barry is like the only hitman for Fuches so I'm not sure what that means. End of the day I think he was just lying to get let off whenever he faced punishment. My point being that, no matter how funny or quirky or awesome the show can be at times, Barry is not headed down a good road and cannot turn back. No matter how much he prays, says it's the last time, says he can move on, his brain is cracked. He lives in a delusional form of his dreams, something he wanted with Sally- a family. And he got it. But all the praying and Abe Lincoln references didn't hide how sad and isolated their family life was, how deluded and distraught Sally became.
All in all, it wasn't a bad finale, and it did make sense. I just wish it had a little more emotion to it rather than seeing everyone turn cold. But once again that's what makes it a great ending, it didn't sensationalized anything ever. And with the story we've watched unfold, you feel for the characters, like you're life is doomed with them as well. Barry was a total treat. Most TV SUCKS. But this show just had a bit of a drawn out 4th season, which is fine considering how wonderful the rest of it is. Can't wait to see what Bill does next.
Infinity Pool (2023)
It really needed something to build up to
Straight up, Infinity Pool is not some mind bending thriller with a twist, or a full on horror movie. It more or less takes a simple concept and let's it stay simple, ending up as more of an excercise in excessive content. It's super violent, super sexual, and structurally underwhelming once you reach the end.
Plot- A writer ends up on an island for his vacation, meets supposed fans of his book, accidentally kills a man, and faces a death sentence. Except for the other option of cloning himself and having it killed. And that's about it. The islanders become more and more unhinged, doing whatever they please in a gleeful carefree manner. It makes you wonder until about halfway through the 3rd act. Then you realize there was almost no point.
Writing- Great. Had unique moments and believable, realistic dialogue. Some things threw me off. I just really wish they explored more of the cloning aspect.
Characters/Acting- Everyone was exceptional, especially Skarsgard. Mia Goth is really good but she plays kind of an annoying character, leading to moments of goofy acting. The side characters were all pretty similar, all seeming enlightened and careless.
Quality- Music was great, the trippy scenes are superb, the gore is nasty and stomach turning when it comes, the cinematography is focused and intimate, the setting is pleasant.
All in all, this movie slightly disappointed. With it coming to theatres I thought it'd be a bit more epic and expansive than Possessor, but it ended up being an expensive indie film. I would recommend it, sure, but only to people that watch things for no reason. I mean they basically just do a bunch of weird screwed up stuff and leave to go back home. Not a spoiler it's just like, nothing happens aside messed up antics here n there.
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)
The greatest action film trilogy of the century.
John Wick came out of nowhere. You have such a simple plot, yet it continued to amplify exponentially. I'd rate the first 3 films a "10" but this one was slightly odd.
Don't get me wrong. It has some of the greatest action scenes of all time in it, but there is less action in general when comparing to the previous films. I only had 2 issues with this movie- the first being that the story just seems a little pointless (as if the plot was ever that important anyway.) Secondly it was just more reserved. I understand Keanu has to go through alot of physical strain for these flicks, and that's where I almost felt the same way for him like I do for the "Jackass" crew. It's like, you want them to keep going even though you know it potentially may may be as good as it once was. Believe me though, Keanu didn't lose his step at all. I just feel like this was the tamest John Wick.
All in all, you have Keanu side by side with some of the greatest martial artist actors of all time, several unforgettable set peices, and a suitable ending. I can't rank these films but I'd say 1,2, and 3 are tied for me, while this one is just a dash bit off.
The Girl Next Door (2004)
One of the many gems of 2004
This movie was advertised as a frat boy comedy, primarily highlighting the sexual parts of it. But it turns out to be a genuine movie with an interesting premise for a rom-com.
Plot- I'll start of by saying that this isn't some sort of American Pie rip off. The movie explores the struggle of choosing success over making memories with friends, misconceptions about sexual behavior, and growing up. The ups and downs hit you in the chest, the awkward moments make you feel for the characters, and the things they get into are wild and hilarious. Alot happens in the short run time.
Characters/Acting- Loved every character. All very well played without overdoing it for the sake of laughter. The villain played by Timothy Olyphant is one of my favorite characters ever. The romance is believable and adorable. Really couldn't find a moment of acting that felt out of touch.
Writing- I think that it has very memorable lines, all hilarious and/or touching, with the exception of a few moments. Maybe a few lines in the film feel off kilter and that's the only reason I rated it 9 instead of 10.
Production- This movie is jam packed with great music, and not in an annoying way either. I shazam'd like every 2 minutes. The direction is focused and sharp. Felt like the vibes of American Beauty mixed with American Pie (minus the dark themes of the former.)
All in all it's not a flawless film but it brings such to the table that it's hard not to fall in love with it. Probably one of the only frat boy-esque romcoms that you could actually watch with a girlfriend (although there's quite a bit of nudity in it.)
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Liked it, I dunno why people are crying
In my eyes the first TCM was always overrated, and I found it to be more goofy that it actually was scary/disturbing. Call me crazy but it just doesn't match up to something like Halloween or The Exorcist. This movie is about as fun as a slasher can get so long as you don't get petty and picky.
Short and sweet, the movie is far from boring, there are some creepy scenes, and the gore is crazy violent. Probably the most intense one yet. But as far as scary... I don't know what people want. How scary can it be to hear a chainsaw from 20 yards away? I mean these movies have never understood a chainsaw, the thing is loud, and you have to start it. So before any movie dorks go bashing this for not being "real" or "raw," revise what you've seen in the past. Not one of these movies has been amazing. I actually liked the 2 remakes they made in the 2000s. Texas 3D was dryer than bark though, and I'm sure Leatherface sucks. This was fun so why knit pick? The ending was almost stupid but then it totally threw me off.
Not a GREAT film but definitely a hell of a time. It's horror I mean what's next, give Jason Statham an Oscar for best chin-kick? Get real and enjoy yourself.
Aqua Teen Forever: Plantasm (2022)
Aqua finding their groove again
Aqua Teen has always been a gem in my eyes, yet they can be completely deceptive. You can never expect, nor trust where a certain story (or mixture of nonsense) will end up, but that's why I love this show. This movie was surprisingly straightforward and I loved it. But of course, the trademark mannerisms are on point.
Don't look at the thumbnails for the film, you'll think it's some sort of superhero ripoff. This movie mainly plays off of the Amazon corporation, which yes I think it's a lazy step, but they make it work somehow. The main villain in the movie is kind of annoying and certainly not like the alien spider or Mr. Wong from the dickesode- he's not surreal, he's just a power hungry weird guy with a man bun that does yoga. But all I can say is that fans will be satisfied, there are epic moments for the characters, and it's amazing to see them separated only to unite again.
All in all, the movie has some of the greatest ATHF moments of all time, seriously. But the dull parts are flimsy and lame. Without them, this would have neared perfection. Oh and don't worry, the theme song is exquisite.
Hanna (2011)
Ehh, it's pretty looking. But what is it trying to be?
Hanna is basically one of those movies you can judge from the trailer alone, and you'll probably be accurate. I didn't want my expectations to come true, but they did.
This movie isn't bad at all- it's just bland, unoriginal, and only allows for moments of amazement to come few and far in-between. The music is probably the high point, the cinematography and editing are perfect, the acting is convincing.... it's just not that cool of a movie. Okay, a kid separated from the outside world with superhuman genetics only learns to hunt and kill- nothing else. But then she just runs the whole time, and you guessed it, people are hunting her for her capabilities. Ends just like you'd guess. I dunno, there were alot of elements of detail, sincerity, humor, darkness, mystery- yet none of it did anything remarkable. All in all, it gives you the perfect premise for an action film, but becomes some sort of flimsy thriller with very few thrilling moments. You know the main character is a child, a trained killer, and hunted by the government... and that's about it.
If they wanted to give us a story revolved around a child assassin, they could have at least made it raw and compelling. If you like movies with perfect presentation and nothing else, this is for you. Otherwise I always try to ask- what did they try to show us? What did they want us to feel? I predicted every move of this film, and I'm a simp.
The Menu (2022)
A great meal with a lame dessert
The Menu does one thing I pray every movie can do- it doesn't reveal itself in the trailer. You may think you have an idea of what the movie is about, but you'll be thrown off entirely. Yet, that factor of The Menu just isn't that dillectible.
For the most part, this movie is highly enjoyable. I loved the parody of the elite social class, the well-written banter, the method of jumping from character to character in one room all while maintaining a protagonist. The cinematography, the editing, the music, the syle, the acting- all of it kept me thinking "wow I love this movie." Then it got into the last 20/25 minutes... let down. A movie with such suspense under such unique circumstances, a story that had us wondering if it was a who-dunnit or some sort of deranged murder plot...stuffed down the drain. It's a classic case of modern suspense/thriller/horror films, they leave almost everything to the imagination. I'm sorry, I like watching a movie and guessing at what may come next, what the reasoning for a plot point is, why a certain character acts a certain way. Ambiguity is fun in doses, but not for an entire plot. No spoiler here but you basically never understand why anything in the film happened. It gives you gorgeously curated scenery, sharp acting, spiffy dialogue, yet entirely leaves out any sort of revelation in terms of what you saw and why. Nothing here is over the top gross, nothing is scary, it just coddles you through a tense mystery without ever capping it off.
Overall, I can't say I'd suggest it, because it was only good until the end. But it certainly is much better than most. The high quality had become overcooked and confusing because of a a mere 25 minutes.
Licorice Pizza (2021)
Really good but not a masterpiece
If you have seen a Paul Thomas Anderson film, you can pretty much guess how it goes. A scattered yet linear plot line, ambiguity, and alot of music. That's pretty much what this is, yet it's kind of a romance in subtle form.
Loved how it starts, doesn't miss a beat. The story kinda dances around in ways that make it hard to tell how long it's been in between scenes. The tension between the 2 protagonists (who absolutely kill for first time actors) is mainly what pulls you through the whole thing. The scenery is gorgeous, the dialogue is good per usual, the music is lovely but personally I think PTA uses wayyyyyy too much music. It's actually the reason I couldn't get through Punch Drunk Love, the constant music can be unbearable. Loved the appearance from Bradley Cooper but he was under utilized for a movie that basically meanders through time with minimal direction. It's a hang out film. I thought it was going to end a few times and then I found myself wondering where it'd all go, because like with anything romance, you expect there to be some sort of revelation at the end no matter what. It definitely brings you up, down, and all around in a chill way.
All in all I think it was a great film, maybe a bit too long for what it is, maybe a bit too much music (very loud at times,) and some of the character logic was odd, but that's to be expected with this director. I think I'll like it more the 2nd time.
Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot (2018)
I guess I loved it more than others
Won't Get Far on Foot looks like another cutesy little tale about a disabled man finding happiness within a newfound talent, but it's really about the human struggle, and taking life for granted. It's brutally honest, uniquely humorous, and all around just a beautiful film.
The story is based on an autobiography written by the man portrayed by Joaquin Phoenix. The way it plots the events that took place is a bit jumbled for about the first 30 minutes, and then it finds clarity. Don't let it throw you off at first cause I almost did. All in all, this man went through a rollercoaster of ups and downs before finally setting aside his grief, and you feel it in the film itself.
Acting was pitch perfect, not a dull, corny moment to find. Jonah Hill gave a criminally underrated performance, but then again he wasn't given more than a few scenes to show his range. Seriously turned me around about him. Joaquin is one of the greats. And the idiosyncratic writing made it all feel so warm yet surprising.
Overall, this is one of the finest tearjerkers I've seen, nor just because it wants to make you cry, it wants to show you a life lived. And it nails the imperfections and unexpected elements of life. A movie with something to say about love, ability, addiction, and forgiveness- I dug it.
Terrifier 2 (2022)
The bar has been raised
Modern slashers seem to rely on something they never have before- an intriguing story. In fact, I feel some films that are labeled as slashers (like "Pearl") don't really slash, they just rely on a scene or two to shake you up. This movie is the definition of a slasher, multiplied by 3.
If you've seen the first movie, you expect that there really isn't a story, and if there were one here, most viewers wouldn't care. And it's perfectly fine that way. This movie doesn't waste it's time trying to make some interesting, unique backstory or some plot twist revelation. No. It does what it sets out to do, which is to horrify and entertain without any confusion. This is probably one of the goriest movies you'll ever see, yet at the same time, there are moments of rest. It's not NONSTOP as people have claimed, the scenes are just unseeable.
Overall, I'd say that this movie is somewhat of a cultural moment. Just like you did with The Human Centipede, you'll want to show this to anyone and everyone just to see their reactions, just to have a blast watching something depraved. It's probably the greatest B Movie I've seen. Blurs the line between trashy entertainment and just plain amazement upon the twisted creativity.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Just go watch a B-Movie Slasher, at least then you expect trash
The 1st two remakes were slightly polarizing at first glance, but once I saw them a 2nd time I realized that they produce the same, if not more fun than the older sequels. Sure the plot was a bit rescrambled from the past, and there are goofy moments, but all in all, they're good. I walked into this this expected at least to be on par with the others..... they may as well have shown Season of the Witch instead.
Okay these aren't spoilers, just what you should have seen in the trailer. Michael disappears for 4 years (we literally never find out why, and for some reason he hides in a sewer in Haddonfield) and he meets a disgraced teen named Corey who accidentally killed a kid. Even though he's innocent, Michael "sees potential in him" apparently and decides to pick him up and stare into his eyes, showing that he's transferring evil into him. Next thing you know, yep, he wants to kill people for no reason. My jaw dropped. Why wasn't this shown in the trailer? Corey is basically the new Michael, for Michael only pops in around the middle, and near the end. And that's all I'll say about that in case if you really wanna waste your time watching a film that doesn't scare, horrify, make you wonder, let alone simply follow its own established story. The writing is weird, the pacing is slow, the plot placement is pointless, the new Michael successor Corey was by far one of the most offensive inclusions in any of the Halloween films. WE CAME FOR MICHAEL MYERS.
All in all, if I weren't watching with my family, I would have boo'd and walked out half way through. I don't know what kind of drug Danny McBride and company used while making this movie, but I certainly would never take it.
Entergalactic (2022)
More of a promotional tactic rather than a film
I love Kid Cudi and almost everything he does, always have- besides WZRD and his Speedin Bullet album. Even in film, he's relatively capable. But this movie was basically just like one giant music video with a flimsy love story in the backdrop.
Kid Cudi plays Jabari, a street artist. He has a run in with an ex, says that he made a mistake with her, and unexpectedly meets the perfect person shortly after. I'd love to spoil it because there is nothing to spoil, but all I can say is that the love story had no weight, no drama, no spice to it. Just 2 of the same kinda people having fun and then facing a dilemma together. The movie spends most of it's time in music-video-montage mode; playing virtually every song from the album, as well as just showing Jabari taking mushrooms, smoking, and drinking.
All in all, the movie had nothing to say, nothing original to show (the animation is basically Spiderverse,) and of course we couldn't get away without 1 "woke" comment. A white girl asks her black friend why she rules out all white men entirely, and the black girl responds by simply saying- "Oppression." Me and my friend looked at each other and cringed. Plus the amount of millennial lingo and emoji conversations included just make everyone in the movie look like wimps. Hard no for me.
Sabotage (2014)
David Ayer's writing is infantile
Okay to be honest, I havent even finished this movie, let alone get halfway through, because the plot setup is beyond stupid right from the start.
A DEA task force breaks into a cartel mansion (with just one truck, and they enter the front door) in order to destroy money. They steal some of it before blowing it up. Next thing you know, boom, plothole. The DEA begins to interrogate the operatives and SOMEHOW they knew that 10 million was missing EVEN THOUGH THEY SHOWED THEM BLOWING IT UP. And then, within the same instance, they warn the operatives that "the cartel is going to come for your neck if they find out that you robbed them." Like um, they'd be mad regardless!! They'd go after the DEA for destroying their 200 million!!
I mean come on, Training Day was a triumph, but this is literally some crap I would have wrote as a teenage boy, went back to, and completely thrown away. Movies this lazy need to be banned.
Dead Ringers (1988)
If it has a theme, I'm not sure, but it's quality
I've been watching some of Cronenberg's films lately, and I've noticed that almost every movie has a gross scene in it. This one is rather sparing, in place of a romance/bromance story that delves into obessive personalities.
The movie kinda makes you think that it will play out as some weird science fiction horror, but it eventually drops off the element and takes a deeper route into psychosis. It's about twins and the bond they feel they cannot break, and how that drives them both in the same direction. Their physical appearance drives them in the same direction, and they do take advantage of the fact that they are indistinguishable. The ending kind of just meandered off into tragedy, yet the movie is extremely unique and well written. Jeremy Irons is a beast as the twins. Didn't like their love interest though, she was just annoying.
Overall it's worth a watch if you can accept a movie with a "bleh" kind of ending. Not a bad or good one, just kinda tapers off until the credits hit. Very fancy movie.
It Follows (2014)
Overrated.
It Follows has a strange plotline to begin with, but it surprisingly makes it work- for about half of the movie. I'm trying to see the genius in this film, but I won't watch it again.
First off, I wasn't sold on the concept of the film, I just came for scares and good quality. While it is expertly filmed and the music is original and intense, some of the scares get a bit old after a bit. These scenes typically involve someone walking in an eerie demeanor towards the main character, and I will say some really stuck.
The characters in this film were a little bland for me, I don't need outlandish types, but it seemed like they were all half asleep until the IT started following again. The writing was awkward at moments, and great in others. My main problem with this film is that it's just lazy in it's story. Sure, things happen, but we never get an explanation (that's not a spoiler in my eyes) and the ending is almost entirely predictable considering the events taken place before.
Overall, I'd say it's alot better than watching a total piece of crap horror film you've never heard of, but I wouldn't go up and down the block praising it. If anything I'd just youtube the scary scenes because there are a few hitters. Otherwise, yeah, I don't see the hype.
Superman Returns (2006)
Nostalgia doesn't always age well
I remember seeing this when I was about 11, and at the time, I thought it was super cool. Just to be able to see Superman do his thing on the big screen with all of the fancy FX, it was interesting. But that's about all I remembered of it, and that's all it really has... kinda.
Okay before I bash on this film, I will say it had some great elements to it. 1, Brandon Routh is great as Superman and looks eerily close to Christopher Reeves. 2, there were big cinematic moments to remember (i.e. The bullet crumpling on Supermans eyeball.) 3, for the time it was released, the FX were awesome and honestly still look good. But anyway.
Even though Routh made a great Superman, he's given completely silly dialogue, as well as the rest of the cast. This movie seems like it was the by-product of mixing up creative forces, under and overediting, and confusion. I mean, it starts head-on, then slows down, then the plot just tosses in random events of existential crisis (but not even a fun amount.) Basically you could sum up the story in 10 seconds, yet still have questions. The Lois Lane character is so confusing, DOES SHE KNOW CLARK IS SUPERMAN? Why is she so coy towards Superman, when she gave birth to his kid? The writing was just so basic that it seemed the real sizzling parts were saved for 1 or 2 moments.
Overall, it was nice as a kid, but even as a kid, I was probably still bored. Or just not cynical enough to see how drawn out it was or the poopy dialogue. Man of Steel was way more awesome.