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Reviews
The Starving Games (2013)
Doing justice to the original
As a movie, this does not amount to much. The jokes are not all that hilarious, the acting is not all that brilliant, the plot is not all that engaging, the special effects are not all that terrific. But, it is not pretentious. It knows what it is, and does it relatively well. However, I would recommend it only if one does not have anything better to watch. In the final analysis, the truth is that this movie is significantly better than the original that it is spoofing. This is no big achievement, for just about anything would be better than that ridiculous piece of turd. The Starving Games inherits that ridiculousness - but that's part of the point of the movie.
Firefox (1982)
Mildly enjoyable
I remember having had some fun when watching this first when it came out in the early 80s. It is by no means a memorable film, but some of the action scenes are engaging. Something that I always found intriguing is that a few of the special effects are really well crafted (e.g. the sonic shock wave shaking up trees and splashing up water on the ocean) while some others are astoundingly pathetic (most notably some shots of the MIG 31 in flight - even in a movie 10-15 years older they would have stood out as unforgivably pedestrian).
Leaving this aside, there is some plot silliness - for example, it's difficult to believe that Gant always remembered to think in Russian when controlling the plane, only to forget it at first, for dramatic effect, when he really needed it in his final dog fight with the other MIG 31. Also, the scene in which Gant makes contact with Semelovsky strikes me as a bit strange, for the latter responds to Gant's call with a sound that can only be described as a pig-like oink. It doesn't seem to be there for comedic relief though, so I can't help but wonder why they did it that way.
In summary, by no means a great movie, but a decent two hours of escapism that leaves no permanent message in one's neurones.
The Pink Panther (1963)
One of the most annoying movies ever, thanks to Peter Sellers
I'll never understand why The Pink Panther series has become a classic. While mildly entertaining at times, the whole thing is thoroughly spoiled by the intensely stupid Clouseau, extremely annoyingly played by Peter Sellers. If what they set up to do was to come up with an irritating, irksome movie they sure achieved their goal. Why anyone would want to sit through Peter Sellers' idiotic antics in this movie is beyond comprehension. What he does would be cute and amusing in a child. In an adult, it is plain creepy and irritating. Its saving graces: Solid craftsmanship behind the movie, the beautiful Capucine and Claudia Cardinale and the always reliable David Niven. Come to think of it, had they got rid of Peter Sellers and made his character a bit less stupid and irritating, the movie would have been thoroughly enjoyable. It's just a shame that Peter Ustinov didn't play instead.
Battlestar Galactica (2004)
Quite bad, actually
I have a few problems with this series. First, there is very, very little science in it. Second, the storyline is almost preposterous. Third, it is full of irritating characters. Fourth, it is shot with hand-held, shaky cameras, only adding to the irritation. Fifth, it lacks a minimum of internal consistency, particularly on the technological side - they can do FTL jumps, but some of the equipment that they use (e.g. those clunky phones) was already obsolete twenty years ago. Sixth, the religious subplot is ridiculous, at best. Seventh, the main sexy character looks more like a cheap drag queen than a sexy woman (There is no accounting for tastes, although I am still unsure if she really is a woman?) Eighth, the story happens to take place in space, but for the most part it could happen just about anywhere - the space setup is very seldom used with any effectiveness or relevance. Ninth, too many of the characters are seriously mentally unstable. Tenth, the fighter pilots are depicted as a bunch of opinionated, immature cretins; I for one hope that real fighter pilots have more maturity than that. Eleventh, the story is very little more than a cheap soap opera, rather than a serious sci-fi show. Twelfth, the civilians in the flotilla seem to be, by and large, a collection of morons and/or crooks; it did not take me long to start rooting for the Cylons - at least until they started displaying some idiocy of their own. Thirteenth, the series is terribly pretentious; in fact it is just a soap opera.
I am very sorry about Edward James Olmos and Mary MacDonnell, two actors whose work I have enjoyed in the past. Mr. Olmos at least gets away with playing a character compelling at times, but Ms. MacDonnell's character is an utterly pathetic figure.
All in all, the only other recent series that to my recollection can compare to this, as far as how bad they are, is Star Trek Enterprise. They are both insults to what sci-fi is all about. In a nutshell: If you are into soap operas you'll enjoy this series. If you are into science-fiction, especially with an emphasis on the science side, you will probably hate it. If you are into both you will of course enjoy the former aspect, but you will probably not think much of the latter, of which there is very little.
Nostradamus: 2012 (2009)
Almost worthless
A documentary clearly made to stir fear and uncertainty. No scientific basis or common sense to it. Nostradamus's quatrains have no predictive power whatsoever, but a lot postdictive one, as people reinterpret them to fit historical events that have already happened. This documentary just dwells on the most sensationalistic aspects of Nostradamus's nonsense, letting imagination go unrestrained on the basis of some verses that can be interpreted to fit just about any event.
In a nutshell, this is an almost worthless program. No doubt the History Channel will be making money out of it (which is of course the idea) because of the many gullible viewers out there who have yet to develop any critical thinking. However, the seriousness and credibility of the History Channel are now seriously besmirched.
The Code Conspiracy (2002)
One of the worst movies ever
This movie is so bad, that I hardly know where to begin.
First, the basic premises are preposterous. The so-called "keyless encryption" is a nonsense - How do you determine who is authorized to decrypt some ciphertext? Second, the explanation given to Rachel is something embodied in lots of security protocol (e.g. SSH and SSL) and "keyless encryption" is neither necessary nor desired. Third, the way the developers at the encryption company (I forget its name) are portrayed is hilarious in its inaccuracy. Fourth, the "God's code" stuff is something clearly inspired in the Bible code nonsense, something that has been debunked as lot of silly mumbo-jumbo long ago. Fifth, the plot starts focusing on the "keyless encryption," only to be ditched halfway through. Sixth, with the exception of David Warner's, the acting is stilted and amateurish. Seventh, Ms. Alonso clearly shows that she is a "has-been" big time. Eighth, it is not good even for laughs.
This is all a shame, because it starts off fine. All in all, this movie is thoroughly deserving of the relative anonymity in which it lives. A complete waste of time.