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Unfrosted (2024)
Poop Tarts
It may be fitting that a movie about an unhealthy processed breakfast food (full disclosure: never had one) turns out to be unfunny formulaic celluloid that should have stayed in the can to turn into vinegar.
I am a fan of Jerry (as is just about everyone who knows his work) and recently saw his standup in Las Vegas, where he turned out his usual quality comedy that clearly reflected the skill and workmanship he put into it. I laughed non-stop for 90 minutes.
But this is a dumpster fire, from start to finish, and tarnishes the reputation of all who appear on screen as well as those responsible for its production. Of course this drek of a movie will do nothing to lessen the popularity of Jerry's formidable oeuvre, nor will it diminish his billion-dollar fortune. But it's a shocking fall from the very pinnacle of comic heights. I'm not sure that I've seen anything less funny and less entertaining than this, though I was surprised that Hollywood is still able to summons so many freshly polished cars from the '60s. Maybe they came from Jerry's private collection.
No point in calling out any of the other actors. All horrible. And why on earth did Hugh Grant agree to be in it, in a Tony the Tiger suit no less? Money? Really?
The movie doesn't do much good for Kellogg's or Post either (neither of whom, I've been told, knew about the film): in fact, it could be a real "cereal" killer.
Warrior (2019)
East Meets West and Kicks Some Ass
The best way for me to describe this fantastic series is to say that it's what you would get if "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and "Deadwood" gave birth, with the spirit of Bruce Lee in the role of midwife.
I didn't catch the series when it first came out on Cinemax, but was quite pleased to find it on Max/HBO, especially with so little new content in the works and a general scarcity of worthwhile things to watch, movies or series.
"Warrior" delivers on all cylinders: great production value, set design and acting, pulchritudinous women, good storytelling, fabulous music, and simply superior filmmaking.
If you liked "Peaky Blinders," "Deadwood," or "Ripper Street," you won't go wrong with this seductive gem.
Living (2022)
"Living" is Simple and Exquisite
This is a remake of a classic Kurosawa film set in 1953 London. Hard to imagine how a mundane life of a compliant office worker can be fulfilling after the brutal war that the Western world just endured. Sirens in the backdrop provide a glimpse and distant recollection of the recent past, but in this brilliant portrayal of one man's ordinary existence is a dignified escape from the monotony of the day-to-day grind of almost meaningless travail.
Bill Nighy portrays an Everyman, who looks back at a prosaic, bureaucratic life after being given only six months to live. His imminent demise provides the motivation to find meaning in his life. If you want to see acting as it should be and could be done, cease your search.
This is a simple story with a big heart and universal appeal. If you love movies, storytelling, and artful acting, you'll love "Living."
SmartLess: On the Road (2023)
Naval gazing times 3: "SmartLess" is Tasteless
Being from Chicago, I watched the episode where these three self-indulgent narcissists put on two shows on the same night at the Chicago Theatre and ordered Italian beef sandwiches from Portillo's. For me, Chicago plus Portillo's was the only draw; I had not heard of this road show and had low expectations. I knew who Will Arnett and Jason Bateman were but had never heard of the Chicagoan Sean Hayes, though, apparently, he has been a performer with some success.
Suckered in by the Chicago connection, I gained nothing from watching this and lost 45 minutes of my life that I will not get back.
The Chicago Theatre was apparently sold out for their appearance, and perhaps these three stooges had equal success in other cities; so good for them. I guess there is no accounting for taste.
Chicago, and I imagine every other location where they were booked in the presidential suite of a luxury hotel and flew to in their private jet, offers much better entertainment options. Unless you are a masochist, I would highly recommend that you give this "bored show" a miss, even if these entitled clowns came to your home town. Based on my experience, I have no doubt that in every city they descended upon they subjected their hapless audience to emetic stories about their rich and carefree lives-and how great it is to be them.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Nothing Nowhere Never
Watching this movie was an experience I would have rather not had. Sometimes we see, read, or experience something that just does not resonate. Because we are individuals, we will respond to art differently. There will be some kinds of art that some of us will love and some of us will hate. This is an example of art that was destined to be devisive. Taste and sensibility are everything.
I think it would be very difficult to be neutral about this film, or give it a 5. It's either a 10 or a zero. Was it made well? Yes. Was it well acted? Yes. Were the music and special effects well crafted? Yes. On these elements we can be objective, and positive, and probably agree.
But without being judgmental, and only subjective, was it interesting? No. Was it funny? No. Was it clever? No. Is it worth describing? No. Is it worth a second viewing, or even a second thought? No.
But that's just my opinion, as a sentient individual.
So, for me, It was two+ hours of my life I will not get back.
Nope (2022)
Just say Nope
If someone asks you if you're going to see the movie "Nope," just say "nope." You'll have gained two hours of your life.
First, not only doesn't most of the dialogue make any sense, half of it, mostly from the mouth of OJ, the main character, is incomprehensible. And second, a plot of any kind is non existent. To make matters worse, two seemingly meaningful scenes, one of which is replayed several times adding slight details with each playing, are left dangling with no connection to the rest of the "story."
Why two stars and not one? OJ's sister gets a star on her own because she's fun to watch, even though her presence clarifies nothing.
Lacking any sense of drama, interest, or suspense, the movie is simply boring. Actually, it begins on a promising note that lasts about 6 minutes. And it ends with a whimper not a bang. Thumbs way down.
The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)
A haunting and compelling film
Martin McDonagh's "In Bruges" is one of my favorite movies of all time, and in this film he brings Brendan Gleason and Colin Farrell back together again in a poignant, heartbreaking story that is in the absurdist tradition of Samuel Beckett. In fact, without the splendid Irish coastline vistas and verdant countryside, you'd think you were in the theater.
The acting is superb overall and the severed relationship, broken without a cause, at the center of the story elevates this film to a metaphysical exploration of friendship, boredom, aggression, ambition, family, loneliness, hope, and despair.
With a backdrop of the 1922-23 Irish Civil War, this is not a movie that will make you feel particularly good, but you can't ignore it either. It's an artistic revelation.
Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022)
A pretty film, but for whom?
No question, this is a beautiful film of master filmmaking. My understanding is that although it looks like pure animation, it really isn't totally. It was done in collaboration with the Jim Henson studio, so I suppose it's mostly puppetry filmed in stop-motion photography. The effect is quite enthralling and visually creative.
Technically, the movie is a 10. But . . . Having said that, 15 minutes of this foreboding journey into the abyss is enough. Because I can't figure out who this dark and stupifying version of Pinocchio is meant to appeal to let alone entertain. You can't take kids to see it, or shouldn't, and it offers nothing for any adult 16+. There are themes (like the Musolini fascists and heavy presence of oppressive religion) in this script that either are not in the original (the setting is WWI instead of the late 19th C when the original Pinocchio was written) or I just can't recall; but in any case, they seem out of place in a fairytale, even one with heavy moral messages. Yet the writing here is quite juvenile, making the movie, in spite of its aesthetic appeal, seem ponderous and, well, wooden. On top of it, it's a musical! Yikes.
Full disclosure: I couldn't make it to the end.
The English (2022)
How the West Was Lost
The only reason why this gets even two stars is because of the beauty of the landscapes and the cinematography. Very nice. Otherwise this is a waste of time. I watched 3 episodes (well two, actually, and went into a coma halfway thru #3) and then gave up.
So many good Westerns out there , but this is not one of them.
No reason to pile on with what went wrong here, but the lack of a story of any interest is primary. It just doesn't do the period any justice. The BBC should stick to British and European history-themed narratives and leave this genre to those among us who have roots in this space.
Pennyworth (2019)
More Like a Pound's Worth
So refreshing to watch a series that really entertains-with great acting (everyone is spot one; love the Queen), writing, set production, direction, special effects, editing, music, pacing, and exuberance all around.
Although it's positioned as an origin story, in this case Bruce Wayne's (AKA Batman) future butler (long before Bruce was born), it's really a standalone "period" piece, set in a fictional post-WWII London (sometimes it seems like the '60s, sometimes earlier), which anticipates the political division and nationalism that saw the rise of fascism (and the rivalries today). But that's just the backdrop to a fast-paced, first-rate action thriller.
Without revealing anything, I'll simply say that the finale of season one is both hilarious and over the top. Really sets you up for season two, which I enjoyed just as much. It too ends with a jaw dropper.
If you liked, and here's a quick list of my favorites, not necessarily in order: Ripper Street; Peaky Blinders; GOT (of course); Gotham; Boardwalk Empire; Breaking Bad; Queen's Gambit; Succession; Watchmen; The Americans; The Knick; Mad Men; Sopranos; Deadwood (series and movie), then you will like this gem. More like solid gold.
Highly recommend it.
House of the Dragon (2022)
Borders on a parody
Almost all of the elements that made GOT an artful paradigm without peer are missing here. Everything is just off enough to border on parody.
It's not so much a storyline as an explanation. And in the end, who cares?
Not a single character has any of the charisma that drew viewers to even the most minor character in GOT. Oh, there is one, but she's killed off halfway through the first episode.
The costumes look tired, not ancient. The knights look like something out of a production of Don Quixote.
The violence, cruelty, and sex? Either cringeworthy or fake. Certainly gratuitous, as if it's obligatory given audience expectations.
Alas, I'm not even interested in seeing if episode II is any better given the grave false start.
Update: no improvement after two episodes; if anything it went down a notch. Basically a boring medieval soap opera.
In the end, very disappointing. I think the producers thought GOT was a Marvel franchise instead of what was arguably the pinnacle of small screen serial filmmaking with nearly perfect attention to detail.
Midnight Mass (2021)
And there will be blood
Good acting and excellent cinematography makes this bloated series watchable, but only at 1.25x speed. Otherwise you'll be nodding off every 10 minutes, even if you enjoy a religious parable that an angel-cum-vampire can sink its teeth into. If you get my drift.
As soon as you grasp the "mystery" of what's come over the mere mortals on this make-believe island, surely by episode 2, the rest unravels quite predictably, which pretty much makes the bloody mess a bloody bore.
Music is OK, though.
The Anarchists (2022)
Anarcha-Puke-O
You really have to have nothing else to do with your time to watch this so-called documentary about a bunch of losers/self-proclaimed anarchists who think they are going to change the world from the beaches of Acapulco by gazing at one another's navels, defying all authority, dragging their poor kids into this abyss, book burning, and just running amok (they call it partying).
I lost the will to live after the first episode, thought, perhaps there would be some redemption in episode two, but, alas, no. Episode three? No thanks.
You can only hope that by episode six a giant wave crashes on shore and washes the whole human waste away.
This almost motivated me to cancel my HBO subscription. But I need to finish "Succession" first.
P. S. The 1-star rating is a negative 1.
The Outfit (2022)
Wears on you like a custom-made suit
A nearly perfect film, with superb acting and a storyline that will keep you guessing. Mark Rylance (the "cutter" whose more than a tailor-and, as we learn, even more than a cutter) and Simon Beale are masterful, and the young cast around them acquit themselves very well. Zoey Deutch shows real chops as she plays both a demure spectator and crafty dream seeker with equal believability.
This is a well-written, well-directed, thoroughly enjoyable period piece (1956 Chicago) that avoids clichés and entertains with wit and class. There are just enough surprises to warrant a second viewing. Even the cutter's narration has a role deeper than to simply instruct the audience on the complexities of the craft of creating a quality two-piece suit.
Refreshing to see an artful screenplay together with quality filmmaking for a change.
The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window (2022)
Parody Schmerody: Luckily even the title is forgettable
It's possible that I've watched something that has insulted my intelligence as much as this series has, but I can't recall what it was.
This series of 8 episodes drained four hours of my life that I won't get back, so if you are reading this and want to take my word for it (based on my good taste alone), you can thank me for sparing you the pain of sitting through this unfunny, worthless hot mess of implausibility. It's not the genre's fault; this was just poor execution (writing, acting, continuity editing, plain old commonsense, current standards) from start to finish.
Why any actor with any self worth would participate in this calamity is beyond me. I guess people will do almost anything for money, even put their self esteem on the chopping block.
Doraibu mai kâ (2021)
Worth the long ride
The movie is long, and could have been shortened without losing its impact, but it's still well worth the ride. If you are familiar with Murakami, you will expect the merging of western and eastern cultural tropes and literary references. And although the movie can't explore human emotions, frailties, longings, and dreams the way Murakami's stories and novels do, it comes pretty close-with great acting and characters who bend morality and accept their own humanity for good and bad.
"Drive My Car" is a reference to the Beatle's song, of course, but it's also a literal reference to the main action in the movie, where the protagonist-invited as a VIP director to mentor actors from several different countries and cultures to a theatrical festival in Hiroshima-is chauffeured around town in his own late-model Saab by a young female driver hired by the festival brass. Although there are several key events that take place during the drives and at the rehearsals, the real action takes place "under the hood."
The Tragedy of Macbeth (2021)
MacBest
What a tour de force. This is a movie that not only makes the "Scottish Play" accessible, but because of the way it sounds and makes you feel, delivers a unique experience.
The acting is terrific and Joel Coen's interpretation is fresh and modern while staying true to the canonical text. The editing was seamless and enhanced the pace of the story without sacrificing meaning.
Of course you need to be familiar with the play (preferably having read it) to enjoy it. But that's obvious from the title; it's "Macbeth" straight up, not a story based on the play. Having said that, prepare to watch, listen to, and be thoroughly entertained by truly masterful performances of a masterpiece of English literature presented by half of an iconic director duo.
Two Weeks to Live (2020)
Don't think twice, it's alright
This is a sweet, dark comedy that is easy to watch and easy to like. The script delivers and doesn't try too hard but manages to get just enough laughs, with both wit and goofy stunts.
The real star among a very competent cast is Sian Clifford, who played Claire in Fleabag. She never breaks from her character as the hard-ass mother who channels her inner (female) Bruce Willis
Six short episodes that make for a fun diversion without insulting the audience.
At the end you'll think it was worth 2.5 hours of your time.
Mare of Easttown (2021)
Bad first name, bad story
If you don't start out with a good story, and well-wrought characters, no talent will keep the audience's attention. Neither Kate Winslet nor Jean Smart, two of the best actors in the business, could save this dead horse, or should I say mare. The story is trite, sophomoric, and without any spark. It's what you get if you cross "The Hillbilly Elegy" with "Mystic River" and give it to a nine-year-old to edit.
I would take this ole mare to the back of the barn and put it out of its misery.
Cobra Kai (2018)
A Kick Below the Belt
This is just a terrible series, full of cringe-worthy scenes and dialogue.
I'm no prude, by any means, but the kinds of antics that the series has high school students engage in are simply morally and culturally depraved. Any one of the acts these 16-year-olds do on a regular basis, with no consequences, would be reason to cancel this series let alone the way they are piled on: bullying, drinking, smoking weed, cheating, fighting, ditching school, mocking authority, hit-and-runs, wasting time with non-stop video gaming and texting, telling dick and vagina jokes.
And the adults are just as bad-and incredibly dense and irresponsible. They play practical jokes like juvenile delinquents. The writers want us to believe that a 50-year-old has never heard of Facebook and has no idea how to refer to a URL. It's supposed to be funny? Evoke sympathy? Lame.
Plus, it's not entertaining. It's horrid.
Definitely worthy only of the trash heap of very poor TV.
Sorry I couldn't give this 0 stars.
The Queen's Gambit (2020)
Let's Play-What a "Joy"
This is one that you have to see to the end. It won't let you down. If you liked "The Hustler" (based on a novel by Walter Tevis who wrote the novel that was the basis of this film) and the acting that made that story breathe, dance, and take you to the extremes of human triumph and defeat and everything in between, then this series is for you.
Great atmospherics that make a perfect setting for fiction that creates reality without any schmaltz. Taylor-Joy is the real deal and is able to pull off everything that's thrown at her. And the rest of the cast make her even more believable. This is a treat from start to finish, and don't get distracted by thinking it's about chess-anymore than "The Hustler" is about pool.
The Vow (2020)
Vow not to watch "The Vow"
This bloated, over-baked so-called documentary could have been done in one episode, maybe. As it is, it got worse every episode. It's one repetitive scene after another. The people who put this together should have their cameras taken away.
I've watched nine episodes, fallen asleep during each one, and missed nothing. There's only one episode left and I think I'll fall asleep before it starts. In the end (or penultimate end) you could care less about the so-called leaders or so-called victims, and largely they are the same people.
Read the press accounts and be done with it. This is no Theranos scandal, and there is nothing to learn from it.
The Trial of the Chicago 7 (2020)
The Chi 7 deserves a 10
I think Sorkin exercised more discipline than usual in putting this film together. The script was clear, literate, and gave the right tone to each role. The editing also was excellent in bringing in flashback events at the right time during the trial, which kept the pace going forward while providing key background details. He kept the drama high, even though the history and conclusion is well known, by leaving out some of the intermediate details. He trusted his audience at just the right times without compromising the story.
Can't say enough about the entire cast. Brilliant job from the seasoned veterans down to relative newbies. SBC was beyond great as Abbie Hoffman, but the entire cast worked magic together.
Must see; this is one for the ages.
The Invisible Man (2020)
The Invisible Movie
I just don't know what's wrong with any director who shoots a film in the dark. Why on earth would you film a movie that no one can see? Unless, of course, it's "The Invisible Man." Eureka!
Congratulations, you have lived up to the movie's title, in spades. Since I can't see anything, I can't watch it. BTW: the lightbulb has been around for some time. Use it.
Just as an aside, Elizabeth Moss has to be the most overused, overrated actor of all time. She almost singlehandedly ruined "Mad Men," but that was just too good. "The Handmaid's Tale" was so bad that even she couldn't stand out in the swamp. Still, she was unwatchable. In this movie she was unwatchable, but literally so.
In the meantime, I'll wait for the sequel: "Everything Illuminated."
Coastal Elites (2020)
Inspired theatre, beyond entertaining: A new art form
This is a gem, and a tremendous theatrical gift. It's timely, heartfelt, humane, but on top of It all, a showcase of amazing talent. Bette Miller is superb-a true icon-but the cast of five all really bring it on.
One of its great achievements is it feels like live theater and not a sterile Zoom call. So great art can happen even during forced isolation.
I watched it twice, and will watch it again.