clivejamesrd Reviews

Attack of the Meth Gator (2023)

This movie is way better than. . .

[6/10 · 11 February 2024]

"Wanted Man" with Dolph Lumpen and Kelsey Jammer. At least x3 better. The gator is more believable than the entire cast of the aforementioned stinker. And like another user reviewer stated, it deserves a sequel and I dare say even a prequel should be considers as these low-budget extravaganzas seem to have no problem getting financial backing.

And another telling point is that the plot is quite believable. So much meth in circulation these days, you know it's just a matter of time before some gator enclaves get in on the trend. More meth-loaded gator stories, puhleez.

Starz might consider a series as well. "Bayou Vice".

Expend4bles (2023)

Really great movie. . .

[2/10 · 17 November 2023]

It's all about some actors who thought, "You know what, we should get a paycheck right about now. It's not that we need the money but we need something to do and if we gonna do something, anything, at all, we should get paid too!" So after a lot of calling around to find out who's busy and found no one was too busy, they then decided to make a movie in a franchise rather some thing from scratch. Why?

Well, that's anybody's guess. My guess is that it too the least effort to make that decision, least effort to write a blah screenplay, least effort act and by the time the public wises up they would have moola in the back and back to being idle again until the bug bites and get's them stirring again.

The Giza Killer (2023)

Classic. He came, he saw, he killeth.

[7/10 · 18 September 2023]

Not much fuss. Not much muss.

A different cereal killer style series, this one. Very understated, emotion free, for the most part. Believably evil killer diller. The fact that many of the victims were kinda annoying made me think of A Shock to the System, a few times during the episodes. But Jaber was not near as sympathetic a character as Michael Caine was in his movie. So while that movie messed with your values a bit, there was no such frisson in this series. Very watchable, though. Especially as the average runtime of actual story was about 37 mins. Kept things moving right along. An easy binge. . .

The Island (III) (2023)

Unwatchable Dreck Award Winner

[3/10 · 10 August 2023]

This movie is 100% miss able. Within minutes I knew I was in for a raw deal. The only reason I stick it out was so I could say I saw it and have every right, therefore to trash the steaming pile. . .

Bad writing, bad acting, bad directing. It you took a nap while it was on, you got the best out of the deal. This is not a joke.

Now, an aside to the shillers that "reviewed" this mindnumbing hogwash, if you are gonna shill don't go over the top with your 10 star ratings and your raving review. It's waaaaay too obvious that "here be unalloyed, unashamed shilling". Those are red flags. A good shill is a 6-7 rating and some toned down texts that tries to show some balance in your dreck. Serve up some appreciaition for this and for that. Then mention one or two places that could have been better. Stuff like that.

Whatever you do, always remember that yes, a rose is still a rose even if you call it a venus fly trap.

Conversely, a full outhouse is still is still a full outhouse even if you call it the Waldorf Astoria.

The Collective (2023)

Straight to the Steaming Pile Pile

[1/10 · 5 August 2023]

This movie has absolutely no redeeming qualities. It's not even a good bad movie. It's just a really and truly awful movie that should never have been put before the public. Bad acting. Then really bad acting. Then really, really bad acting. Everybody, including Don and Tyrese, just phoning it in from a really distant galaxy over a terrible connection.

Okay, just for balance, I'll mention the single one good thing in the whole movie. A few of the panoramic shots were well done and visually interesting. The 2 female henchmen are bad in every way. Just name some criterion, any one at all, and the verdict is 'terrible.' Flat. Boring. 1 star is like ten times more than it deserves.

Crosscurrent (2016)

Interesting movie

[30 June 2023]

Not really the kinda thing that appeals to the Non-Chinese culture. I agree with another reviewer on this point.

Cultural exchanges are fine and Chinese culture is rich, but somethings just don't make the cut. Take birds's tongues pies for example or stewed cat, well, some aspects of Chinese literature has a similar cringey-chill response.

But here is an interesting aside. The longest river in China is the Yellow River! You wouldn't believe my surprise when the brother of my Chinese ex-gf, told me that the source of that right is a place that sounds like this in the English pronunciation: Ipee Stan Ding. I was laughing about it for days. Then he told me he made it up because I likes to mess with peoples' heads.

Still pretty funny, tho'.

Maximum Truth (2023)

And now, the maximum truth. . .

[2/10 · 24 June 2023]

This weak kneed sack of corny, rated a lofty 5.9 stars at the time of this writing, was rated exactly 8 times to high!

Not only that, my friends, but the name is a misnomer as well. It should have been called "Maximum Steaming Pile" or at least subtitled as much.

All that said, this movie is the kind that if watched with while under the influence of some delish ediblies or at least a 3 blunt high, the rating would instantly vault into a perfect 10.

Not only that, but because you would not remember a single thing from watching it in that state, except that you laughed until your sides hurt, you would be inspired to watch it a second time!!!!

Yes, my friends, in very cloud there is a silver lining. . . .

Love & Death (2023)

This is very, very good. . . .

[8/10 · 4 May 2023]

Some great performances all around. Olsen, Dallimore, Plemons, whom I'd never have cast for this role, but he's in the pocket, doing a mix of innoncence and guilt and naivete in a very delicately balanced, suave way. I didn't know he could do that. By Olsen is in her element from the onset.

This is not your classic love triangle story at all. No "Ask me no question, and I'll tell you no lie," kinda deal. No sireebob. The slow moving wind up is pitch perfect. Also, in this one there is a massive axe. And it's no secret that there is an axe, 'mkay? That's not a spoiler at all.

But even though you know it, and you know you know it, when it joins in it is still an "Oh my goodness gracious, look at that thing! Is this really happening?" A very savory moment or as my Latina chickadee would say, "Dios mio, muy sabroso!"

White House Plumbers (2023)

WHP is not to be missed entertainment. . .

[10/10 · 2 May 2023]

First of all, let me say this about about that, the meant to be funny bits are beyond excelling. I laughed so hard I had to playback to laugh again, they were so much delight But I'm a no spoilers kinda guy so that's that about that. Except I have to say that the Hitler speech scene just by itself, deserves an award!

Then, the not meant to be funny bits are hilarious too!!!!

Justin's Liddy, well, I didn't have a clue what to expect, but once I saw the meeting with the FBI scene, I knew Justin was a casting scoop. I'm at a loss for words.

I am a looooong time fan of Woody so I expected him to milk his role for all it was worth and he did not disappoint.

I always thought Woody and Matthew make a great duo, but I think Justin and Woody could be better. And all three in the same movie or series would be something to blow a roof or two off.

I cannot find words for the raid on Fielding's office.

But the next scene of the firing and rehiring, wow!

I mean, wow! Nope. Sorry. I mean WOW!!!!

Hahahahahahahahaha If other episodes are half as good as ep01, I'm in for a good time! I am!

Lucky Hank (2023)

Too many neurotics, not funny, depressing. . .

[4/10 · 13 April 2023]

I count myself a huge fan of Bob's work, so I was stoked about this coming out. But by the third episode I had to face the fact that I just was not feeling it. But I didn't write my take until now because although I stopped watching I was giving my mind time to figure out why the show didn't take for me.

I think I have it in one sentence now, so here goes: This show is bogged down and lacks forwar momentum because too many neurotic characters sharing the same story is just boring, uninteresting. It's not comedy if it's painful to watch/listen to one scene after another just going from neurotic husband to neurotic wife, to other neurotic colleagues, to neurotic students. I agree that it is ultra realistic in that it reflects a real world possibility, but it's not entertaining. Woody Allen is the master of the high concentration neurotic characters brought together but this crew can't capture that Allenesk vibe at all. Total snooze fest. Not fun or funny, just depressing.

Snowfall (2017–2023)

Binge watching and now 4 seasons in, I'm ready to talk. . .

[9/10 · 4 April 2023]

This story is 99 kinds of awesome. Would our government flood our cities with drugs to raise money to fund an op not approved by Congress.

That's the seeming question at the heart of this story. But that's not really the question that needs to be asked.

The real question is "Whether with or without Congress on board, is there anything our government would not do out of the conviction that we are the good guys, and that the ends justifies any and all kinds of means of getting there?" That is the question at the very heart of many, many, many episodes in our history: Vietnam, Iran-Contra, the Iraq war, Native American genocide, Treaty-breaking, Slavery, on and on and on. . . We always claim the high ground. Yet history hugs the low ground. So here's the kicker, if you want to understand the character of an individual, you look into his/her history.

If you want to understand the character of a nation, a people, you look at their history, too.

This is the way. . . .

Glass Onion (2022)

Unwatchable dreck

[25 December 2022]

What a waste of talent. I hope this movie loses money so whoever is behind it and thought to make it this way, then to throw it at the public are all ruined and unceremoniously evicted from the movie making world. For good. The chief failing is that there is a sameness to all the characters. Everyone is overdoing their role. Some a bit less and some a bit more, but they all are. And so the net impression is that the movie is in love with itself. Asking you, the viewer over and over in diverse ways, "Amn't cute? And amn't I cute. And what about me, over here, amn't I cute." Bleeechhhh!

I got bored and was fighting sleep so at the 39 minute I aborted. Life it too short.

The Gray Man (2022)

What a waste

[2/10 · 23 July 2022]

This movie had the potential of kicking off a sleek action franchise that would compare favorably to The Old Man tv series or even to Bond, but instead the Russos deliver a forgettable steaming pile comic book version of the half-wit demographic. Mark Greaney should sue.

Mad God (2021)

Brilliant metaphor for existence

[10/10 · 16 June 2022]

This is the meaning of life when you peel away all the frilly embroidery that we create "to improve it and make it nice" which is supposed to be a virtue. But how can self-delusion be considered a virtue. We all know that's a huge mental health issue. And for those who go beyond the stark reality and impose a "god" on this unseemly business, Tippett is saying "Okay, you can conjure a God to put your behind at ease, but face it, you are talking a mad god." So, with or without god, you have a mess. That's what it is. Make do with it, make it as user friendly as possible, why not? It helps to pass the time, after all, but let's be clear, there is no need to will yourself in to making it out to be something it's decidedly not. It's brutal and ugly and pretending it isn't does nothing to the facts. Nothing at all. Dust to dust, ashes to ashes.

It this awful. Is it bad news. In short, is keeping it real a vice or a virtue? Or to re-cast that, is a willful illusion better than the naked truth?

The answer to that question, which is a valid one, is another question? Do you prefer to know you have cancer or pretend you just have some passing discomfort that will probably dissipate by morning? I mean, knowing it's going to rain gives us the option to take an umbrella or some other means for comporting ourselves. We don't consider pretending that rain is not a thing, do we?

We, that same logic applies to this Tippett's Mad God. Kudos for him sticking it out and getting this made and released.

Tom Swift (2022)

Lived down to my expectations. . .No stars.

[1/10 · 1 June 2022]

The books were juvenile tripe back in their day and there's only one direction to go from there. I watched on episode just to see what they would do with it, and whew, what a boring mess on all counts. In a steaming pile competition the fumes from this one would clear the hall.

Should never have been made, but having made it, should never have been released, but having foisted it on the public, should be sentenced to a working furnace. As for spoilers, you can't spoil this doo-doo.

David Byrne's American Utopia (2020)

In a word, stupendous!

[26 May 2022]

In another word, uplifting!

And yet another, engaging!

In two words, brilliantly arranged.

The show is about connections. Neural, interpersonal. And David draws connecting lines that fit into his theme with some songs old and some songs new. And borrowed from Janell Monae, too.

The total effect is something transcending the musical concert experience. Stop Making Sense was one of a kind and so is American Utopia, lifting the audience beyond the stratosphere where Stop Making Sense still orbits all these decades later.

Of course, props must got to Spike Lee for getting that dimension so we can get the Broadway effect on our screens. I would so love to find out Spike's take on the show as to what so moved him about it and its creator that he put his at into the ring for documenting this event, nay, this experience. Hat's off, Mr Lee.

And for Mr. Byrne, wow, man, David, as a fellow Baltimorean I'm proud to say that I have loved your work from the jump, in Talking Heads, then not waver or flinch for your solo output. Loved it all, but for sure AU is a new zenith. Keen to see where you would go next after this. Get those cranial connections humming, man.

The Problem with Jon Stewart (2021–2023)

I love you, Jon, but you need to dust yourself off. . .

[3/10 · 25 May 2022]

. . . and get back in the game, amigo. The 'font of wisdom' gig is not for you.

You were never that fellow. Your vehicle is satire. Skewering the absurd, the human follies. Lampooning 360 degrees. . . That's what's interesting about you.

Don't become a crusader who is sometimes funny. Be a funny man who sometimes crusades, a la Carlin, Twain and so forth. You still got it, you need to tap into that Jon. In your own trenchant fashion.

Still go after the causes, but make sure you stick in the funny knife and twist.

Go out and do some stand up to loosen you up and get your 'snap' back. Bring that edge to your tv show. Also, get a squad of robust writers to give you the laughing yet hard-hitting material.

There is no reason on earth that you can't best Colbert in the ratings game. At this point, he's become as run of the mill as any other aging host from central casting. Not as juvenile and lame as Corden or Fallon, but not as interesting as Kimmel. There is no excuse for that. Just refuse to ever phone in a single episode.

Start by admitting that font of wisdom guy is not you. You are font of punchy lines and getting the laughs and slipping into our ribs the raising awareness of the wrongs between the side splitters.

Every episode 2 parts satirical riposte and 1 message. You'll win me back and I reckon a whole lot of others.

Devils (2020– )

I watched seasons 1 & 2

[10/10 · 14 May 2022]

10 stars! I binged season 1 and today I binged season 2 and this had many things going for it, dealing with banking/finance, tracing apps and manipulating users, romance, intrigue, betrayals, murder, and good dialogue and many attractive men and women all of whom aced their roles, so good directing too.

And a real achievement, the story itself is intricate and realistically complex, yet not leave you at a lost to fall it in all it's permutations.

This is good stuff. Pay no heed to the wannabe critics' comments/analysis, because I read them all, at none of their laments were worth spit.

Try it, at least. This is good entertainment. Deserves 8 stars at very least. Ten from me, because I really enjoyed it. Could not unbinge.

Black Site (I) (2022)

Steaming pile alert.

[1/10 · 6 May 2022]

In a word: Boring In two words: Unwatchable dreck.

On the plus side, this is a really good mystery.

It's a mystery how such bad movies get made.

Another mystery is that the purveyors of these steaming pile movies have not realized yet that they must factor into their budget a tidy sum to pay people to come see their crappy movie.

Clowns in the Woods (2021)

This is the ultimate horror movie. . .

[10/10 · 8 April 2022]

A perfect 10!!!!!

I know this because I'm tooooooo scared to watch it!!!!

You see, I just know it's going to be maximum horrible. Stephen Kink, take note, pal. Thsi here is the real deal.

You can't get better horror than that., folks.

The Outfit (2022)

Well done, this one was. . .

[9/10 · 7 April 2022]

The runtime of 1:45 was a breeze. When you watch a movie and the time just flies, you know you are hooked. In mere moments I was all in for this one. We need more well-crafted, well-casted, well-acted movies like this. And the twist on "shear and shear alike" ooooh, that was a deft touch, the cherry on top.

Halo (2022– )

OMG! So awful. . . .

[1/10 · 31 March 2022]

20 mins into this steaming pile, my brain organized a Trillion Cell March to protest. They turned out in Tee shirts that said, "We don't wanna die! Why are you trying to kill us off?" They also had banners that said, "We are re-routing your saliva to dowse your synapses and stop them from firing?" Scrariest thing that I've even experience since Jan 6th. 2021.

But my favorite part of the whole Trillion Cell March melee was the banner that said, "If this is a halo, you'll never make a said of me!" Clever.

Moon Knight (2022)

Only 9 stars, because I have a serious beef

[9/10 · 31 March 2022]

Everbody who is somebody knows that Dale Carnegie says that to win friends and influence people one of the dire requirements is that one must be "Lavish in his praise" so I was p o'd when at 40'58" the run credits only until 45'32". Why so short? Skimping on the praise, like that? So disappointing, I gotta tell ya. Such misers, these people. Would it have kilt them to do an additional 5 minutes? I wouldn't be surprised if Oscar quits the just to show solidarity with his mates that didn't get their due. Too bad Will Smith is not in this one.

Jim Gaffigan: Comedy Monster (2021 TV Special)

Big Pro and. . ...

[1/10 · 23 December 2021]

A bigger con. The pro part was this show is very suspenseful. I hung on for 30 minutes in waiting for the funny bits to kick in. And wouldn't you know, there wasn't any. So while the suspense seemed enticing, the lack of stuff to laugh at made me feel conned. So one star.

As far as 'spoilers' well that's impossible. You can't 'spoil' this show no matter how hard you try.

The North Water (2021)

Enjoying this series right up to hairline. . .

[9/10 · 5 August 2021]

I mean, good golly miss molly, this is exceptional tv storytelling from every angle. Plot, direction, the landscape, the cast. Man against nature, check. Man against each other, check. Menacing evil, check. Colin Farrell in the turn of his life, check.

Riveting stuff. As my son used to say when he was five, "This is gooder than Princess Bride," when he'd moved on to binging the Emerald Forest for over a month. It's an inside joke with us now. When I called him to recommend the North Water, I said "You're gonna love this one. It's gooder than Princess and Emerald rolled together. "