Change Your Image
xletsgetbrootal
Reviews
Hellraiser (2022)
LMAO it's like surf ninjas the "horror" version
Imagine a horror film version of surf ninjas where the kid just carried around his little handheld game and used it to change what was going on around him. It's basicaly the same premise. Who reviewed this film and gave it the OK for release? This movie is SO STUPID , I literaly have no idea what is going on. The Cenobites look like some second rate storm troopers. The whole premise was "follows the source material more closely" uh this movie has NOTHING to do with the short story. I'm pretty sure they made a movie about a random puzzle game and saw they could get the title hellraiser and decided last second to make a hellraiser film. The new "pinhead" looks and sounds so corny, it's hard to watch. The cenobites are so awful. This movie should be called "case of the killer bop it" cause it's more or less about a killer hand game. This is literaly a horror version of surf ninjas LOL.
Terrifier 2 (2022)
The ultimate Halloween theater experience
Don't get me wrong I liked the first Terrifier but this one is a monumental achievement over the first.
Just left the theater on premier night was in a room that was at least 2/3 fill so that was nice, yes this movie is super long but it doesn't really drag until the last 15 minutes it definitely gets a little out there at the rest of the film moved at a great pace with that much blood gore and insane drawn out long kills. Super long mid credit scene so stick around for that. I thought the original Terrifier was about a 7 out of 10 and I would give all hallows eve a 6 out of 10 on a good day but this is a solid 9 there's really not much they could do to make it better. Everyone in the theater was a fan of Terrifier which means no one was upset or offended throughout the movie all the laughs were in the right places seeing it in a good theatre will make all the difference.
The 101 Scariest Horror Movie Moments of All Time (2022)
Great homage to the original, just too short
I enjoy the classic formula they are using my only complaint is that the episodes are too short it feels like as soon as you are settled into each episode it just abruptly ends. Not to nitpick but it is super clean compared to the original it lacks that Gothic punk feel that the original had that just gets you so pumped up to watch horror movies. Also loved all the random people they had on the Original show you never know who you'd see each segment, this is kind of the same few people , mainly some real new age actresses I've never even heard of. But looking forward to each episode! Apparently it needs to be 600 words to submit so just ignore this sentence.
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)
Worst movie I've ever seen
I don't know where to begin. I've never spent an entire movie audibly yelling at my tv and pointing out every last mistake. Dude how could they turn Leon into... whatever that guy was. This was like a joke of a movie I couldn't tell if it was a comedy , this is the worst movie I've ever seen. The audio levels are ridiculous I've never had to spend so much time turning a movie up and down , how could anyone watch this and think it's acceptable to make people pay for it? The guy who plays Chris is the dumbest actor I've ever seen... "get behind me!!" She is behind you moron .... Leon pulls out a rocket launcher shoots it straight at a child and 2 people and they literaly say "rocket launcher ... duck" and duck their heads like yeah sure that will really save you from the rpg.... For the love of Christ please don't let these people touch any type of RE4 material. No one dies or gets shot on screen LITERALY every bullet shot is off screen, then switches tk zombie with a hole in its head dead this movie didn't even try. Bunch of lady heroes shooting shotguns at the ground they couldn't just watch a 5 min tutorial on YouTube on how you'd might hold a gun or is that not important research for your character who's apparently a 10 year military and police veteran.... But shoots at their own feet.. I literaly hate this director and have added them to my blacklist immediately. Please leave it at that and don't destroy any more franchises please.
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
Not a horror movie
This felt like an action film with terrible acting. The female boss lady cop was god awful acting I couldn't stop laughing at her law and order wannabe character. This movie just sucked , the state of horror today sucks.
Crank Yankers (2002)
Such a funny show unless the SNL actresses are on it :/
Melissa doing the Jennifer Lopez skit was so cringe and hard to watch , she and her SNL girls should all be ashamed , all these clowns from aturday night live are so unfunny. I'm sorry but the ladies in this new season suck. They just aren't funny at all. Earlier seasons with Sarah Silverman and Wanda Sykes made me laugh til I cried. Why is no one funny anymore? Saturday night live is cancer and their af free bring crank Yankers now.
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Once you get past Nicole Kidman's overacting
45 mins of this movie is Nicole Kidman trying to complete a sentence, or her doing the worlds worst impression of someone who just smiled a joint , movie is incredible tho a masterpiece of art and anxiety
Hillbilly Elegy (2020)
Wallows in self pity
As someone who comes from a similar household and struggles with everyone I know having addiction, this movie somewhat resonated with me but the characters are so insanely whiney annoying unlikeable and obnoxious. Script is stale and lifeless as if their reading off score cards
History of Horror (2018)
Should be called "Eli Roth begs you to watch his own movies"
I don't think the show has more to do with horror then it does Eli Roth begging people to watch his films he will show someone sitting in a chair and be like "watch as I pay tribute to this legendary horror scene by also having my actor sit in a chair in my 2007 film by Universal Studios please watch it no one likes me help" every time he gets the chance to talk on other documentaries about horror he can't go five words without bringing up his own films which no one really cares about none of them were very good also they take movies that I've been out for less than two years and talk about them beginning to end and talk about the turning points you are now the part in hereditary you all know the part in Midsommar so why are they talking about that part for the few people that may have not actually seen it yet of course I've already seen these movies so I was just a little upset that people aren't going to have the same chance to see the twist as me it was a really stupid move on his part to start bringing up the beheading in hereditary when it's such a brand new movie that's still making its way to audiences that aren't in the horror genre and now they're going to know the twist already because of this idiot it's not Friday the 13th it hasn't been out for 60 years leave it alone and let people enjoy it first quit begging people to watch hostel quit begging people to watch the green inferno every time he brings up a movie I can already tell which one of his films he's gonna beg you to watch because you happen to like the wicker man or you happen to like Jaws suddenly you're going to enjoy hostile or the green inferno as if they were steaming pieces of turds Basically I'm here to say that this man takes an hour every week to talk about how great he thinks he is if I wanted that type of entertainment I would probably go to church on Sundays which I'm sure he will start his own church eventually so people can worship his bleak boring films while he overexplained movies front the back spoon feeding them to you like you haven't seen them every Halloween spoon feeding them to you like you don't know how to watch a film I love horror documentaries I've watched them all I watch 100 scariest movie moments every year which is a little disappointing too but I just finished a new episode tonight and after watching about nine episodes of the show I just can't do it anymore this guy really blows me it truly needs a host who doesn't have his own films and his own business To promote throughout the whole show
Don't Breathe (2016)
No one talking about how this is people under the stairs
Is this not the exact same plot as the people under the stairs? The Rottweiler the crawling through walls, robbing a house in a destroyed neighborhood
The Lodge (2019)
We've gotta do something about these endings
I honestly thought for a slow burn that it was kind of ok. Then that insane "guess your own" ending. First off they tripped off the opening shot of hereditary, then continued to rip off hereditary. Other then that I was actually really into what was going on and then that ending. The same ending as every movie past 2014. Time to give it a break if you can't finish your film
Suspiria (2018)
No
What does this have to do with suspiria? Worst movie I've seen in years and it has nothing to do with comparison