slammerhard Reviews

Jeanne Dielman, 23, quai du commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (1975)

Before Youtube videos there was Jeanne Dielman

[2/10 · 4 April 2023]

Sure, there can be overlong films that are really interesting, such as La Maman et la Putain, but exercises in boredom like this one have more in common with the unwatchable experimental films of Andy Warhol-where you get 200 hours of a static shot of a building or a person sleeping. Yet, I still get it why someone would like to make such a film.

To a certain degree, this type of cinema did once have a purpose, but not any longer, since anyone can now make this type of cinema using his mobile phone.

The only thing you need to do is pick your theme and keep the camera running. Who knows, maybe one day your film will be on the top of the list!

The best way to view Jeanne Dielman is on Youtube, one of those five minute summaries. You will get what's it all about without wasting a lot of time. Time that can be utilized for a better purpose, such as trying to make a better film on your smartphone!

Why Try to Change Me Now (2023)

Great visuals, muddled narrative.

[6/10 · 30 March 2023]

Muddled narrative, impressive visuals Those who like the cinema of Diao Yinan and Jia Zhang Ke will not hesitate for a moment to invest six hours of their time for this adaption of a famous Chinese book which has not yet been translated into English.

A crime drama set in a poor city in Northeastern China, Moses on the Plain (the original Chinese title) is about a series of murders and the subsequent investigation that take place over the time span of a decade or so.

Things move pretty slowly in the first couple episodes-think Angelopoulos, think Bela Tarr-but as our protagonist grows from young troublemaker to rookie cop, things start to get interesting.

Unfortunately it's all build up with very little pay-off. The last episode is a big bummer. Writing is all over the place, nothing make sense, large gaps in narrative, and let's not talk about the censorship, which ensures that all of the deaths occur off-screen.

Not much in terms of character depth and motivation. By the time the whole thing was over I still had no idea why the victims were murdered and who did the killing.

This show lacks anything that resembles a logical crime solving procedure where you go from A to B, from B to C, and so on. But if you're a fan of slow European art movies where not much happens, you may likely enjoy this one.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

The Italian Mad Max rip-offs from the eighties were far more intelligent!

[6/10 · 27 November 2022]

Story is stupid beyond belief. We start from A to B, and when we reach B, we get to meet a ridiculous gang of granny bikers before we turn around and go back to A. That's about it.

In the future this will be known as the Mad Max film where the protagonist becomes a background extra in his own film. Not to mention that you can't call it Mad Max if there is no Mel Gibson.

Sure, the stunts are great, but they're basically repeating the same stuff from the previous films, albeit on a bigger budget. The big difference is that the previous ones did not have such stupid sequences like the sandstorm in Fury Road, nor did they insult the viewer's intelligence with the introduction of "strong female" type characters. They might have well named their film MAD FURIOSA or something like that, but that would have damaged the film's box office so why no stick the Mad Max logo onto this one?

The film concludes with the rather disturbing notion of replacing the old elite with a new one. This is what is eventually going to happen to all the heroes of the cinema world. Get replaced by female/androgynous parodies of male archetypes.

On a positive note, the way language is used in this film is very interesting. The decline of civilization comes along with a decline in the way a language is spoken. Which in a way, shows us in an exaggerated manner, how Australian English has deviated from the standard norm.

Decision to Leave (2022)

A flawed effort that fails to impress Asian and Western audiences.

[6/10 · 11 November 2022]

It seems that this director has lost the skill to make good films. Compared to other Korean thrillers such as New World and Yellow Sea this is a rather poor effort. By trying to charm simultaneously both Chinese Censorship bureau and European festival board members, the director has made a film which is unable to decide which audience group it wants too target and at the end fails to satisfy either.

The presence of Tang Wei was probably a calculated move to guarantee the film will hit the Chinese screens. Most of the time, Decision to Leave plays like a less edgier version of modern Mainland noir such as Wild Goose Lake and Black Coal Thin Ice. Storyline is ludicrous, perpetuates lots of old fashioned cliches from Asian love stories. Lots of cinematic references, the most interesting one being the one with the hand cream from The Housemaid (1960.) Tang Wei is good, but there is no chemistry between the two leads, and the male protagonist is too bland in terms of appearance.

Flawless production design is nothing new in Korean cinema. As a matter of fact you will spend more time ogling over those speckless interior spaces rather than the drama unfolding before your eyes.

One a positive note, at least there is the presence of former pop idol Lee Jung Hyun . Not that she does anything special, but she is always good to look at.

Those who happened to be impressed by this film should check out the far more superior examples of China neo-noir such as the films of Diao Yinan, Bi Gan.

The Golden Glove (2019)

The most depressive view of humanity since Mondo Cane

[7/10 · 9 October 2022]

Someone called this a "truly ugly piece of German cinema." The truth is that the German people are a truly ugly piece of humanity and the director is just showing us this reality. How they drink themselves to stupidity and say horrible things to each other. An essential part of the German way of life.

The Golden Glove is a piece of extreme cinema which owes it's legacy to other renowned pieces of filmmaking such as Jorg Buttgereit's Schramm, The Human Centipede 2, Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer, Christiane F, Trailer Park (Troma).

It's not particularly gory, but the murder scenes-and the sex scenes that occur before the killings-are almost unwatchable, mostly because the female victims are so unattractive, stupid, and desperate.

In this film, the spectacle of the human body is the source of the disgust. When you are young and possess a healthy body, you are unable to see that the hopeless bums we laugh at, have desires and hopes like the rest of us.. Maybe because deep down we know that one day we shall become like them. Our bodies will sooner or later turn into a "disgusting spectacle," and this film forces this reality into your face. The director further reinforces this statement by making the only pretty girl in the film, immune to the evils that occur around her.

It's no surprise the negative reviews. Most film critics are cowards when it comes to the way they express their opinions. You know there is something wrong when the only good things they can come up with about this movie is "great era reconstruction" or "great sets."

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Lots of LGBT propaganda

[5/10 · 14 July 2022]

Not as good as they say.

First hour is okay-if you decide to ignore the blatant lgbt propaganda shoved into your face as early as the establishing shots.

The gradual introduction of the multiverse will leave most viewers confused, since we never get a clear idea of how things work.

It simply is a plot device which allows the filmmakers to get away with anything.

From sixty to ninety minutes the action kicks in and things get better, but it does not last for long. You will know when the good part is over because The End is going to appear on the screen.

The trouble begins after the fake ending credits. The remaining forty minutes are the most goddamn awful thing you've ever seen. It was excruciatingly painful to deal with those. Each second was a masterclass in cringiness, sappiness, and ultra boredom. Kinda like a Chinese blockbuster, only worse!

A Safe Place (1971)

The Inland Empire of Tuesday Weld

[6/10 · 19 June 2022]

This extremely silly piece of filmmaking in which Orson Welles does magical tricks and talks in a funny accent, is a (failed) combination of early seventies Antonioni ( Blow Up, Zabriskie Point) and American hippie cinema (Psych Out, Head).

I like what Tuesday Weld did in Lord Love a Duck and Pretty Poison so I decided to give it a shot.

She is not very convincing as a hippie chick, not only because of her restrained style, but also because of her looks and the way she dresses. Or maybe the New York hippie scene was kinda lame compared to California. You decide.

Jack Nicholson was creepy enough and he makes you wonder how stupid girls were back then, giving it for free to every Tom, Dick, and Harry.

This film is all over the place and does nothing but copy filming and editing techniques from far superior films.

It would have called it a waste of time, if it wasn't for the last five minutes where some sort of explanation is given for the previous 85 minutes of Mumbo-Jumbo.

Then everything kinda makes more sense although I'm not sure if all viewers will get it.

It seems that Tuesday Weld died when she was a little girl but does not remember it. She is trapped in some sort of purgatory.

The silver ball stands for her soul, and the Orson Wells character is Death.

What David Lynch did with Mulholland Drive and Inland Empire, this film did first. For this reason alone, you may want to check A Safe Place.

The Sadness (2021)

The ultimate experience in sickening violence.

[7/10 · 29 April 2022]

In terms of script, The Sadness is a generic zombie film that uses the covid pandemic as a starting point. What makes this film rise above the sea of dreck you call "contemporary horror films" are the scenes of extreme violence that will bring you back to the golden days of Lucio Fulci and Tom Savini. No fake looking CGI here, most of the grue is provided via extremely realistic prosthetic make-up and tons of karo syrup.

Even more upsetting to most viewers, will be the scenes of sexual violence and rape. You see, the "zombies" in this film want to rape you before eating you, and despite some of the most disgusting scenes of sexual violence happening off screen-the eyeball sequence-viewers that belong to the "politically correct" spectrum will want to skip this one.

In terms of carnage, The Sadness rivals Braindead, Ichi the Killer, and The Raid 2. A flawed effort, yet essential viewing for all sick puppies out there.

Fireball 500 (1966)

"Behind every pretty woman is a behind."

[7/10 · 17 April 2022]

Being a fan of the Frankie and Annette beach party films and all things A. I. P I was eager to watch this film. Some people are gonna come out and say how corny these films are but if you are into this kind of thing you will not disappointed-despite the fact that Fireball 500 is far from being a classic.

This one will remind you of an Elvis movie and there is even a girl from an Elvis film. Annette does the usual good girl act, Fabian butts heads with Frankie, Harvey Lembeck does the bad guy, and I wish there was more of Jo Collins.

Compared to the Beach Party films, the songs here are nothing to brag about. There are some memorable lines and some of the destruction during the racing scenes is impressive.

Fast cars, pretty girls, silly moments, and lots of impressive...behinds. Do you need anything else? And let's not forget that mouth! I'm talking about Julie Parrish.

Directing Hell (2011)

A documentary about the master of Greek "loser" cinema.

[6/10 · 25 February 2022]

I first discovered the films of Nicholaidis in the late 80's on late-night TV and double-feature after midnight screenings. What attracted me to these events was the second feature-usually an American or Italian horror film. The way I had to sit through films that I would not have chosen otherwise to see. On two of those occasions the first features were the Nicholaidis films Glykia Symmoria and Kourelia Tragoydoyn Akoma.

Singapore Sling came out a couple of years later, and everyone was rushing to the theatre to watch this tale of bloodlust, weird sex, and bodily fluids. The only major turn-off was the black and white photography, which didn't do much favor to the shock scenes.

Despite its reputation as a cult film, Singapore Sling didn't put its director on the A-list. He spent the rest of his film career making films that were poor imitations of his earlier successes. Some of these are considered downright unwatchable even by his most devoted fans.

A couple of years after the director passed away, this little documentary showed up. I don't know exactly what the title means-maybe it implies the director is still making films in the otherworld. The trend of two- word titles where the first word is a gerund verb has certainly been overused and most definitely owes its existence to Lawrence Block when he came up with the title "Killing Castro."

The footage that makes up Directing Hell can be divided into two sections. The first one is mostly friends of the director-filmmakers, actors, musicians-shooting the crap. Their stories are probably too cryptic for uninitiated viewers, but that's ok, since it doesn't seem likely that someone unfamiliar with the films of Nicholaidis will sit to watch this documentary.

We all know that a documentary is only as good as its subject matter- despite the director's choice of some rather unusual camera angles. It's as if he was trying to direct an art film. Unlike other documentaries that take a similar approach-The Art of Killing comes in mind-at least he does not overdo it.

Apart from the talking heads, you also get plenty of clips edited in such a manner, which may give the (wrong) impression to casual viewers that the films of Nicholaidis were a rapid succession of scenes featuring a lot of sex and violence.

Sure, there was plenty of skin, but the excitement is on the same level as an Alan Robert Grille film. As for the gorehounds searching the next big thrill, you're better off searching elsewhere.

Being pretty much products of their time, the films of Nicholaidis nowadays seem dated. The notion of a post-apocalypse film set in an old factory and an empty movie theatre would not seem very appealing to modern day viewers.

The documentary itself would be better suited as a complimentary feature on a blue-ray release rather than a standalone feature.

As I mentioned above, it's targeted to viewers who are already familiar with the bizarre filmic world of Nicholaidis. A world populated by deadbeats, lunatics, hookers, and junkies. A perfect mirror of Greek society.

Maybe someone ought to have shown these films to the E. U banks before they started lending money to Greece, with a "Don't say we didn't warn you!" memo attached.

Benedetta (2021)

Feminist Nuns Overthrow the Patriarchy!

[5/10 · 4 January 2022]

For the first 90 minutes I had the impression that I was watching a decent film. Paul Verhoeven has done some good stuff during this third period of his career and Benedetta proves once more that he can tread the thin line between exploitation and art. There are a lot of references to the films of Ken Russel and Pasolini, as well as Flesh+Blood, Verhoeven's earlier medieval sex and violence epic. The director does such a good job you won't be bothered much by some stupid things you will notice here and there. For example: Charlotte Rampling's character looks exactly the same twenty years later!

Unfortunately things go very woke in the last act. It's basically the same thing that happens with Last Night in Soho. The whole thing turns into one big silly feminist rant.

They would have probably started the sermon much earlier in the film but were afraid of losing spectators. By doing it this way, at least guarantees that you will keep on watching until the very end, not matter what.

What goes on in the last half hour of Benedetta is nothing but a modern day feminist fantasy come to life.

You get a bunch of angry feminist nuns who overthrow the Catholic Church. It's more ridiculous than Monty Python!

It seems that filmmakers today have forgotten how to make films with strong female characters without having to resort to any kind of propaganda techniques.

Antlers (2021)

A classic of modern horror...NOT!

[4/10 · 28 December 2021]

Rubbishy creature feature that would have been unwatchable without the presence of Kerry Russel.

Very slow film without much of a plot. It bears a resemblance to some of the other films associated with Del Toro, only this one is far less imaginative.

There's an unlikeable kid in a rather unconvincing situation. A scrawny gender-fluid brat is presented as a tower of strength. He takes care of his dad and brother while they're slowly turning into monsters. The same kid also manages to take care of himself and go to school everyday. Makes you wonder, where does the cash for groceries come from?

This is actually one of the few films where you feel more sympathy for the bully rather than the victim. But because a bully is always a bully, he will have to be killed by the monster in a scene which is totally unjustified.

Last ten minutes you get to see the monster. Looks like discarded concept design from Pan's Labyrinth.

Basically what you get with this film is slow build up and lame pay-off. The only good thing is that it does not last very long.

Last Night in Soho (2021)

Dissapointing woke propaganda

[6/10 · 2 December 2021]

This is the type of film which you can actually enjoy but starts losing points when you start thinking about it after a while.

Edgar Wright, has not exactly lost the ability to make good films, but after Scott Pilgrim and World's End flopped, he is more than willing to compromise. Baby Driver could hardly register as an "Edgar Wright film"" and this one though somewhat better, has some serious problems. The crappy CGI for the ghost fx would be more suitable for a third grade Ju-On imitation, and the woke propaganda just spoils everything in the final act.

The visuals of London in the 60's are impressive but they don't do much for the story. Edgar Wright was probably eager to do for London what his buddy Quentin did for Hollywood, but given that the nature of the story is rather low-key, his exercise was rather pointless.

I would like to talk more about the woke points of this film, however that would be impossible to do without spoiling the viewer's pleasure. Let's just say that, once more, it's all about toxic masculinity and nothing else.

Having watched recently the excellent 80's horror-thriller Butcher Baker Nightmare Makers, which shows how to do a film about a crazy female assassin without resorting to any kind of feminist/man-hating propaganda, I am pretty appalled by the condition of the industry nowadays.

From what has reached my ears, many filmmakers are forced to include these elements in their movies or else their projects do not get funded. The days of truly masculine cinema are gone forever.

Rise of the Footsoldier (2007)

Rise of the Real Men.

[9/10 · 1 December 2021]

Toxic masculinity on display! Extreme bloody violence! Motorhead on the soundtrack during the hooligan fights, and some pretty convincing acting from the main cast. Someone ought to give Craig Fairbrass a damn Oscar for his role in this film.

I'm pretty much sure all those who sit to watch this film know what they're going to get into. What is amazing is how much it exceeds expectations. Not only it's a great crime/hooligan film, it's great as a thriller, with enough of the red stuff to put any Eli Roth film to shame.

I believe this film was trashed by the press because every time a woman shows up on the screen it's because: A) She is gonna be someone's punchbag.

B) It's time for some ass-slapping, titty-twisting action.

If you're searching for something to show your dumbass feminist friends, you need not go any further.

Rise of the Footsoldier is a proud film about proud men for proud men. Seek no substitutes...and let them silly feminists keep shaking the bars in their cages!

Titane (2021)

Weird does not always mean good.

[2/10 · 20 October 2021]

If the triple whammy of gender fluid propaganda, moronic script and dumb set-pieces (death by chopsticks, chick shagged by a car) was not enough to make those birdbrains at Cannes walk out of the screening room, then us viewers got to prepare ourselves for a grim future.

Even if there was not much competition this year, there must have been a couple of films better than this one. If you start handing out Palm d' Ors to films like this, then you might as well give Troma a chance.

Any summary of this film is a strong candidate for the most stupid thing you have ever heard. I can't imagine how anyone could ever read such a script and believe a good film can come out of it.

A chick with a metal plate in her head kills people with a chopstick and gets knocked up by a car. She doesn't want to get arrested so she changes her appearance to look like a boy. Believing she is a missing person, the cops pick her up and return her to her firefighter dad. After this point, there is a strong resemblance between this film and the documentary The Impostor about the fella who goes to live with a family pretending he is their long lost son, despite not looking like him.

Her tummy gets larger but most people fail to notice. There is a decent scene when the impostor comes face to face with the ex-wife of the fireman but it's only a couple minutes long. Instead of good quality cinema the director prefers to shoot weird dancing scenes. If you got a dancing firemen fetish thingy, this is definitely the film for you. If you want a good quality French film then you better bring some razor blades to the cinema because most likely you will want to slit your wrists. What other options do you have with scenes like the one where the main actress is dancing on the roof of a bus and seems to have forgotten to put on her prosthetic belly?

The ending seems to have been lifted from other French shockers like Baby Blood or L'Interieur. Here you get the exact opposite of Raw, where the director made a good horror film with a lame ending. This time she attempted to make an horrifying ending, albeit one that makes no sense.

The people behind this film need to realize that a Golden Palm ain't much nowadays. I reckon that unless they learn how to make good films, pretty soon they will be lining up behind Adele Exarchopoulos and Abelatif Kechiche for their unemployment checks.

It Comes (I) (2018)

Totally bonkers movie.

[9/10 · 15 October 2021]

It's hard to describe this film but I will do my best. Imagine Haruki Murakami doing a Jap version of The Exorcist. It's an ambitious sort of film that not many people will get. For starters, it ain't your typical J-horror film even if the trailer behaves in such a way.

It Comes kinda reminded me of the Suspiria remake. It's an art film disguised as a horror film or the other way round. It's complex and the narrative always shifts focus. You don't get to see "it" whatever it may be. Some descriptions of the film erroneously call it a "monster." You're not really sure what it is. Is it a demon? A ghost? A God?

It doesn't matter because what matters is what "it" does to the characters of this film and what matters even more is who are these characters and what makes them tick.

It probably won't make much sense to those watching it a first time not to mention it's long and the first half plays like a family drama. You get to see a funeral, a wedding party, a baby party. These scenes will test your patience if you signed up for a horror film but if you're into Japanese culture they are quite pleasant.

If you hold on for long enough you will see all Hell breaking loose. The outrageous storyline along with the superior visual artistry and the extreme violence, guarantee you a one of a kind experience. The Buddhist exorcism sequence has to be seen to be believed. The mediocre CGI in some scenes-especially the "blood river" is not enough to diminish the impact.

If you have viewed the previous films by Tetsuya Nakashima you pretty much know what you signed up for, other audiences may be baffled.

I'm certainly not going to show this one to my 12 year old nephew who's idea of a good horror film are the latest installments of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween.

One final thing. When you watch this film, make sure to watch it LOUD. Really LOUD.

Lord Love a Duck (1966)

The Sharon and Charlie beach party massacre.

[10/10 · 16 July 2021]

Lord Love A Duck is the cinematic equivalent of Robert Anton Wilson's Illuminatus! Trilogy, full of occult references and some of the funniest scenes ever.

The central theme seems to be that if you sell your soul to the devil you will get everything you desire, the devil being MOLLYMAUK=MOLOCH.

Of course there is a price to success - if you are not willing to sacrifice those around you, you will never reach the top.

The idea of the sacrificial scapegoat is prevalent throughout the film. There are references to Jane Mansfield and Sharon Tate. At some point you will see Sharon Tate dancing with Charlie Manson, and keep in mind this film was made before the Cielo Drive murders.

It's cute, it's sexy, and it's sinister. Its waiting for you to unlock its secrets. If you love this film make sure to check 12+1 , the last film of Sharon Tate, and Pretty Poison, another film with Tuesday Weld that shares a similar theme.

The Perfection (2018)

Ridiculous imitation of Martyrs with the cringe factor upped to 10.

[4/10 · 9 June 2021]

This one starts off as a Cronenberg-Wayne Wang blend with an overemphasis on woke elements that will piss off even the most liberal viewers! The first half is supposed to be set in China but I highly doubt a single scene was shot there. I guess it's hard to go for location shoot to China nowadays so the makers opted for the Canadian countryside.

The writers did not do much research for their script or else they would have known that most long-distance bus routes come equipped with barf bags and that most foreigners travelling off the beaten path are usually equipped with diarrhea pills. Not to mention that you will get into serious trouble if you start insulting the locals.

Well, not everything is bad. Allison Williams shows more skin than Girls and there is unusual product placement. The Chinese vodka which most foreigners find undrinkable.

With the help of "reverse speed," the lamest storytelling gimmick EVER, we discover that this is not a pandemic film but something closer to the French film Martyrs. There is self-mutilation, child abuse, bad white men, lesbians you think are psychotic but turn out good. A lot of people talk about how gruesome this film is, the truth is that most of the gory stuff happens offscreen. If you're a seasoned gorehound, most likely you will be disappointed.

I must admit that the second half looks stylish, something like the Neon Demon meets Black Swan, but there is not much logic in the story even though it is not as stupid as Jordan Peele's Us.

The final scene which reminded me of Santa Sagre is baffling and silly in equal doses.

A failure on many levels yet moderately entertaining. The 90 minute running time certainly helps.

Evolution (2015)

Highly problematic notion of "evolution"

[2/10 · 3 May 2021]

Little boys are abducted, experimented upon, and at the end, are set free to return to their society. Some may wonder why is this happening? It's all because these Lovecraft style beings want to help humanity reach a higher level.

According to this movie, mankind will evolve when males will be able to have babies.

More than anything else, this film is pushing the evil transhumanism agenda. It goes far beyond the average wokeness of most modern day films and shows. This is a film with a very sinister agenda.

Attenberg (2010)

Out of touch with any sort of human experience and emotion!

[2/10 · 3 May 2021]

It's amazing what kind of stuff can pass as an art film nowadays. Some random shots of garden sprinklers, factories, people doing bizarre dance routines and acting like animals. For the sake of "high culture," the slightest notion of coherence and logic has been omitted, so each time the film depicts people doing everyday activities, they got to act like dummies in a shop window. There is some nudity. The director of Dogtooth shows up at some point and gets a bl**-j*b. It must have been a good one because he married the chick in real life.

Us (II) (2019)

Was this film written by a crack addict?

[3/10 · 2 April 2021]

It's amazing this aneurism inducing piece of nonsense made so much money. There is no trace of logic whatsoever in the script. This could be explained if the scriptwriter was a crack addict and his intended audience the same.

This film borrows heavily from two far better films. Coherence made in 2013 and. The One I Love made in 2014 which also features Elizabeth Moss. Once you watch those film you will realize there is not much talent or originality in Jordan Peele's vision.

Hiroshima Mon Amour (1959)

A meaningless exercise in boredom.

[6/10 · 24 March 2021]

The great Japanese writer Osamu Dazai once said that women are bad storytellers because they always focus on the wrong things. This statement certainly applies to Marguerite Duras' script of Hiroshima Mon Amour. You can't even call it a script, it's just an endless monologue better fit for the stage of an experimental theatre-the type where you don't have more than five people in the audience-all of them in close terms with the actors on the stage.

Despite the impressive black and white visuals, the director falls in line with the script and films with the pace of a slug. There are some nice parts about the cultural differences when a white woman dates an Asian man but this film fails to reveal anything about the Japanese psyche and society. It would have worked better if it had been written and directed by a Japanese.

Thanks to the script of Duras, Hiroshima Mon Amour is overindulgent, narcissistic, and not about anything in particular.

Dogtooth (2009)

It's all Greek to me.

[6/10 · 19 February 2021]

Up until Dogtooth the only Greek film to gain such notoriety was Nick Nicholaidis' Singapore Sling, but unlike that one, Dogtooth found itself in the spotlight competing for an Academy Award. Maybe it did not win but it made Lanthimos a household name and gave him the chance to work with some of the biggest Hollywood stars. The next thing you know is that every filmmaker in Greece is turning out weird S*** in an attempt to be the next Lanthimos. Every notion of logic and decent character development got thrown out of the window. All you needed was a couple of actors to do weird stuff in front of the camera to get a shot at Cannes. As a piece of filmmaking, Dogtooth works in a Reservoir Dogs way. It's a mishmash of ideas and scenes from other films. The recipe for Dogtooth is sixty percent The Castle of Purity, twenty percent Shylaman's The Village, ten percent Sitcom by Francois Ozon and some Haneke and Trier thrown in the mix. You add some splashes of bright red blood and sex (lots of it) and you're ready to go. For some reason the actors speak in a weird manner-an idea borrowed from SIngapore Sling. The main concept does not stand up to much scrutiny but at least his mixture of hi art and sleaze is presented in a visually appealing way. Those greens in the back yard sure look great in high-def. Dogtooth was okay at least but you can't say the same for his subsequent efforts. Alps, Lobster, Sacred Deer, all suffer from poor and nonsensical scripts and there is no sex and blood to make your time worthwhile. But the damage is already done. No chance a Greek filmmaker will ever try again to make a normal film about normal people under normal circumstances.

In Search of Darkness: Part II (2020)

Lots of juicy clips.

[7/10 · 18 February 2021]

As much as I like the 80's I must say that In Search of Darkness Part 2 becomes tiresome. Sure, there are plenty of gory clips but the comments by the usual bunch of horror fans, scream queens, and Fangoria Hall of Fame alumni are not enough to sustain interest for four and a half hours! They are mostly small talk and don't provide much insight. The noble cause behind In Search of Darkness Part 2 is to focus on lesser known horror instead of the usual Freddy-Jason-MIchael Myers stuff. What we get here is more Freddy-Jason-Michael Myers stuff along with very quick presentations of lesser known titles-some of it European and Asian. Another big problem is that titles such as Hills Have Eyes 2, Poltergeist 3, Saturday the 14th (!!!) are treated like classics. The makers of the documentary seem to neglect the fact that there was a sharp decline of the quality of pictures in the second half of the decade. This decline is obvious if you examine the covers of Fangoria becoming lamer year after year. As a presentation of 80's horror the makers could have done much better. If they had focused on the good stuff and had made this a bit shorter. Those who are new in horror may find it more interesting. If you've been reading Fangoria since the 80's and have already seen Trailer Trauma 80's Horrorthon and In Search of Darkness Part 1, most of this will seem pointless.

Rembetiko (1983)

Overrated

[5/10 · 17 December 2020]

Like most Greek films this one does not have a sufficient budget for such a theme. As a result the epic intentions are scaled down to the level of a TV production. A significant portion of the film is set in the USA but the director lacked the budget to shoot scenes there. Sotiria Leonardou does a great job but unfortunately the film falls apart after the one hour mark where she sings "kaigomai." This is truly a great moment but unfortunately there is nothing else in the film to match this great sequence. There are scenes that are shot in an amateur way and you can't tell what's going on. DVD quality is awful. Seems to have been taken from a crappy videotape source. Nowadays lots of old Greek movies are remastered for TV and the quality is very good but this has yet to happen with the REMBETIKO.