Change Your Image
MarshFlats
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Lists
An error has ocurred. Please try againReviews
Point Break (1991)
An interesting premise with a somewhat dissatisfying ending
Though I liked the movie as a whole, the cookie-cutter romance that starts the moment guy sees girl and sprouts into passionate love within days/weeks is, as always, trite and dull.
The police captain okaying an undercover operation, only to expect results less than a week later was completely unrealistic. I understand that managers always expect the impossible, but you'd think a veteran officer would comprehend that Utah's mission would take patience.
Did Bodhi have a reason to go for the vault in the last raid? They had a perfect streak going, not just for months, but for years, and then he gets greedy. I know Utah was present, so maybe he wanted him to get shot/caught, and it was their last robbery ever, so maybe it was for the adrenaline rush, but it seemed rather careless.
The ending was quite disappointing. Johnny Utah uncuffs Bodhi and allows him to surf out into the giant storm, which could be a powerful symbolic gesture of respect for the game, if not for the fact that Bodhi was responsible for the death of all his crew and Utah's partner. I know the implication is that he'll die in the storm, but after the devastation Bodhi caused, Utah should want to deny him any satisfaction from the once-in-a-lifetime wave, as well as an escape from repercussions. Not to mention by letting him go, Utah is likely to face serious discipline from the police force, if not criminal charges for releasing a captured criminal.
Overall, Point Break has a lot of good qualities, such as great acting, a unique premise, and unique details like the Ex Presidents robbing banks, forcing Utah to rob a bank with them maskless, and the whole skydiving scene, but it was definitely a bit rough around the edges.
The Mummy (1999)
The highest rated terrible movie I've seen
This film desperately seeks to imitate Indiana Jones, and nowhere does it hit its mark better than with its flat, annoying, and incompetent female lead. We're introduced to Evelyn with an over-the-top display of clumsiness, knocking over rows of library shelves. This incapability continues throughout the film, most notably when Evelyn quips that "no harm ever came from reading a book" before awakening Imhotep from death.
Rick is not the most charming protagonist, from when we first see him and he gets Evelyn to kiss him. A classic forced romance with little-to-no chemistry. Jonathan is useless. Beni is disloyal and self-serving from the beginning, but Rick seems to forget it a few times as he once again places trust in him.
The "10" Plagues are unleashed during the reincarnation of Imhotep, which makes absolutely no sense. Imhotep, Anck Su Namun, and Pharaoh Seti I are all Egyptian historical/mythological figures, while the Plagues of Egypt are of Biblical origin; the conflation between the two muddles the story while providing no richness or quality. In addition, we only see half of the plagues anyway, missing frogs, gnats, flies, and the death of both livestock and first born sons.
The plagues we do get to see don't even have any relevance to the story: water turning to blood, flaming hail, darkness, and locusts are given visuals once and maybe a line or two before they're wholly forgotten. The boils do actually seem to affect the story.... In that they somehow translate to mind control over the victims.
The CGI was likely decent for the time, but nothing outstanding and doesn't hold up well.
Overall, the movie is one cliché after another, spoken and performed by undeveloped characters.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Not as Good as I Hoped
I heard a lot of great reviews going into this movie and was very excited to watch it; unfortunately, it didn't quite live up to my expectations.
The movie starts with about fifteen minutes of introduction to Evelyn's and Waymond's characters, the laundromat they run, and their daughter Joy. It was a great start to the movie with interesting characters, relationships between those characters, and unique circumstances.
Then we moved to the IRS office, which brought with it the start of the shenanigans. We are given the same infinite multiverse theory that every sci-fi show proposes, and at first I rolled my eyes.
I hate this theory because--while it could be true--the vast majority of universes would consist of us doing stupid and abnormal things like switching your shoes to the wrong feet or eating chap stick... I loved that this movie leaned into that idea, utilizing the bizarre possibilities to access other universes. This is when I really started to enjoy the movie.
Then we meet Jobu Tepaki, the main antagonist of the film. I feel like we meet her way too early. There could have been a tense build-up to a reveal of her identity--Joy--but instead it was anticlimactic and predictable. I suppose this gave Evelyn reason to maybe kill her own daughter and instead decide to become another Jobu, but something about it made the pacing rough for me.
I will admit that I didn't realize this movie was a comedy until I was watching it. There were parts I really appreciated, like when Jobu says the Ketchup is organic--that was very funny. I appreciate one-off jokes like that, but am not a huge fan of big plot points being gags, like the Bagel being the end of everything, and I don't love comedy just being absurd concepts, like the hot-dog-finger universe. Also, instead of being a throwaway bit, we also got probably at least 5 minutes in that universe across the movie, which seemed rather excessive and got stale fast.
Call me a hater--probably true--but I like a solid, serious plot to really get me into it, or I need it to be a full comedy. I'm not saying there can't be a balance of drama and comedy, but I'm not a fan of dipping so far into the absurdity while trying to maintain a serious and emotional story line.
I enjoy when a movie has a bit of a moral; usually it's a bit subtle and more of a theme then blatantly telling the viewers what to get out of the movie. But in this case, they bombarded us with multiple blatant morals: Waymond says several times in a row to just be kind, which is a good message, but felt super random and unnecessary; Joy talks about how we only have specks of time with each other; the rocks say how we're all so small and stupid. I just felt like they tried to pack in all these takeaways like homework at the end of a college class.
Also, the infinite multiverse theory says that anything that can be done has been done in another universe. But does that actually mean it would be possible for our consciousness to be in a rock or a pinata or a 2D animation? Seems like a stretch to me.
I felt the pace was off from when we first met Jobu, but that was especially felt during the last 20-30 minutes. The movie felt like it was wrapping up for almost half an hour, but kept throwing us into different tangents before finally coming to a close.
I won't deny there were things about the movie I really enjoyed: (most of) its take on the infinite multiverse theory, a lot of the cinematography was interesting or downright beautiful, and there were definitely some parts that made me laugh out loud. Overall, though, I couldn't take the stakes seriously because the villain's terrible creation was a freaking bagel.
Stargate: Atlantis: Enemy at the Gate (2009)
Rushed is the appropriate word
I love Stargate as much as the next guy, and that's why I'm honest when they mess up. This should have been a two-part episode, with several preceding episodes to lead up to it.
For example:
The wraith figuring out how to make a super hive by integrating a ZPM should have been its own episode.
Atlantis sending a team to recover additional ZPMs based on Todd's intel should have been its own episode.
Atlantis testing and implementing the "wormhole drive" should have been its own episode.
Once all of that excess info was extracted and the show was given an hour and a half finale, there would be plenty of time in the episode for a couple good ship battles between the hive and Earth's various warships, and ultimately a realistic final battle between Atlantis and the hive, rather than Atlantis just suddenly having the ability to travel across the universe with barely any risk and a single nuke destroying the ship instantly.
(Not to mention I really think we should have gotten a bit more closure on Ford. It would have been really nice to team up with him in the finale, with him either finally getting off the Wraith enzyme or dying, as a nice bookend to his story.
On top of that, there was no time at the end for necessary closure for any of the characters. Realistically, we should have seen Teyla go back to be with Kanaan and Torren among her people. Most everyone else would likely remain on Atlantis, but more time would have given more time for Rodney/Jennifer to talk about their future, Sheppard to get another well-deserved promotion, and a handful of other ways to wrap up the show.
El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019)
Not Bad, But Not Really Necessary
As most people who are watching El Camino, I am a huge fan of Breaking Bad, and think it's probably the best show ever made; however, I didn't let that influence my judgment of the movie. I know how to separate my love for the show and the characters from how I feel about this movie. And this movie was good, but nothing special.
Of course it was fun seeing Skinny Pete, Badger, and a handful of other characters who had appeared in the show, and luckily no one's inclusion felt forced. Jesse would of course visit his friends first, he'd need Joe to remove the car, he spent a lot of time with Todd, etc. And they didn't just throw in Skylar/Marie/Walt Jr., which was nice since we would only have needed to see them if this film was about Walter.
The flashbacks were tasteful: not overbearing, but enough to give direction to Jesse's continued story line. Above all, they made sense. Gilligan didn't have to scramble for there to be conflict for Jesse: it all came naturally. Of course there would be cops looking for him, and it is logical that he'd look for Todd's money to use as an escape, since Jesse spent time with him.
When we got to the man who could make Jesse disappear, it was also nice that he retained his word and character, and didn't just willy-nilly accept Jesse as a patron without repercussions for that first pickup. One of the most interesting characters from the show that continued into this movie.
I was waiting for and expecting the ending to throw some curveball, as the show often did, though that didn't really happen. That's not to say that the concluding battle wasn't pretty cool. The duel was a fitting way to end a franchise located in the desert, and while I enjoyed how Jesse beat Neil, I think it was predictable that he had the second gun in his jacket, since we'd just seen it.
Jesse's personality as a whole was well preserved in this movie, as he really didn't want to kill the "cops" and those same guys later at the welding warehouse. He shot only when he had no other options, and he let the last guys go free because he's not a killer at heart.
In classic Gilligan style, there were a few moments of detail that most people wouldn't even think to include in the movie, such as when Jesse's jacket catches on fire. The heat from the pocket gun he had just shot would be hot enough (I'm assuming) to start a fire on fabric, so it was a cool moment.
And of course there were some fan-service easter eggs, from the blatant tarantula to the obscure pull-away floor panel in Jesse's house that resembled the one Walt created to hide his cash in the White house. These hides were not intrusive and were scattered infrequently, which I appreciated. I enjoy catching those allusions, but I don't want every shot or piece of dialogue to be referring back to the show.
Going into this movie, my and most people's main concern was that they would ruin things from the show. Characters, events, or other, it's always a worry that an afterthought to a great show will be messy and forget how to fit into a specially curated show. El Camino does a great job at upholding the integrity of the show.
Thank god Walt didn't come back to life or anything (though I felt Gilligan would know better than do something like that). And having just a single flashback with Walt was perfect, though the scene didn't seem particularly needed. They talked about college, but since Jesse ends in seclusion in Alaska, it's not like he's planning on applying to University (I'm assuming).
Unfortunately, I think Gilligan was too focused on upholding the show's integrity that he forgot to make a truly remarkable masterpiece like the show was. The movie was by no means bad, but I could frankly take it or leave it.
Overall, I think this is a good movie with some good character and dialogue, but ultimately, it isn't necessary. I'm not mad that it was made, but I feel basically the same about the ending of this movie as I did the end of the show: Jesse's free. And if I feel the same, then the movie doesn't feel mandatory.
I will continue to recommend people watch Breaking Bad, since it's amazing, but when they ask if they should watch El Camino, I won't push one way or the other.
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Definitely a Laugh...
The Thor franchise has been bad since 2011, and Ragnarok did nothing to change that.
As is often the case with poor superhero movies, the villain was simply not compelling. Hela has some serious daddy issues, which is fair since he imprisoned her for years because she was too good at her job. But because her father imprisoned her, she now hates all Asgardians? She kills hundreds of them just because she can. She has no real motivation.
She's also called the goddess of death, but she really just wields hundreds of pointy rocks. Hela should really be called the goddess of stalagmites/stalactites.
As for her sidekick, Skurge, it's abundantly clear that he's only in the film as a plot point, as he's given no character, few lines, and an overly obvious aversion to Hela's actions from the beginning, which leads even a slightly intuitive observer to assume he will change sides near the end of the movie.
Though this movie is revered as a fantastic comedy, it required an overhaul of Thor's character in order to given him such a sense of humor. In the first Thor movie, he was humorous through misunderstandings of human interactions, such as the smashing of a mug in a diner when he was finished with it. In Ragnarok, however, Thor is making quips that sound like they should be coming out of Tony Stark's mouth; he's sarcastic and witty in a way that the Asgardian brute shouldn't be.
I won't deny I had a couple laughs at this movie, but overall, it just isn't worth it.
Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019)
Another Bad Spider-Man Sequel
I am among the majority of people who believe Tom Holland to be the best Spider-Man to date (except for Shameik Moore as Miles Morales, of course), but not even Holland's depiction of the iconic Peter Parker could salvage a screenplay riddled with so many blatant plot holes.
For the first hour of the movie, as well as the trailers leading up to its release, the viewer is made to believe that Mysterio, alter ego Quentin Beck, is not a villain, but another superhero. But anyone remotely familiar with the Spider-Man comics will know him to be a villain (I've read only a handful of them, and I knew this going in). And while we're entertaining the possibility that the writers inverted his role in this movie, we're given dull "villains" to face. Mindless elementals are not compelling as villains and add to the obviousness of Mysterio's clear purpose in the movie.
When it's finally revealed that Mysterio was indeed playing Parker to get to EDITH, we are bombarded with the worst vomiting of exposition I have ever seen in a movie. Beck speaks for what feels like ten minutes to illuminate us of backstories for characters that we don't care about and that the writers apparently don't care about either, as they're seen minimally in the rest of the movie.
Once Beck finally has EDITH, he's discovered to be a charlatan much like the Mandarin from Iron Man 3 (which should have been indicative that this style of villain is inadequate). Quentin's lack of powers makes for a lackluster and unsatisfying final battle, as Parker fights a bunch of drones, rather than having much of a real combat with Mysterio at all.
The Doctor Strange-like scene where Mysterio traps Spider-Man in illusion
after illusion makes for a really cool cinematic experience, which ultimately becomes hollow when Mysterio never uses the illusions to that extent again. He could have used this technique later to deal with Spider-Man, but instead he projects his Godzilla creature and makes Parker believe he's dead for about three seconds.
Other issues:
As much as I like Maria Hill, she has no place in this movie. She wasn't even included as a deus ex machina or anything; she's just there. Even Cobie Smulders seems to know how extraneous her character was, as the few lines she does have are uttered lackadaisically.
Nick Fury, while not as irrelevant as Hill, really doesn't need to be in every single Marvel movie. Happy could have likely filled much of the role of mentor/boss for Parker, or better yet, Hill could have done the job and actually have mattered.
MJ was an interesting character in Homecoming because she defied the giggly schoolgirl trope from the previous Spider-Man franchises. In Far From Home, her character reverts back to that archetype, because god forbid Peter fall for someone who is more distant and sarcastic.
Overall, a huge disappointment, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised with a Spider-Man sequel being bad.