colinmardell Reviews

Luther: The Fallen Sun (2023)

Great start, let down in the end

[6/10 · 10 March 2023]

Great beginning, acting superb from Idris Elba and Andy Serkis was brilliant, and the supporting cast were equally fantastic. Production top of the tree, CGI really convincing.

The story line begins slightly tenuously with main character in placed unrealistically jeopardy, but that's about par for the course these days. Then for about eighty percent of the movie, the audience follows Luther when he escapes from prison. Then the fugitive leads the police as they alternately track the killer and/or are led by him in and around London.

Then suddenly Luther and the senior police officer Luther are inexplicably transported to Norway. What follows is completely crazy. Suspending disbelief is on thing but the end of this movie is an insult to the intelligence of the audience.

Moonfall (2022)

This is a joke right?

[1/10 · 23 August 2022]

If you can imagine a movie with the combined plots and scripts of Edge of Tomorrow, Armageddon, Deep Impact, Mouse on the Moon, and The Titchfield Thunderbolt you're somewhere close to this cinematic catastrophe. Sadly Dennis Quaid, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Bernard Cribbins and Stanley Holloway were not around to be cast or the director could have turned this into a halfway decent comedy. I don't know what the budget was but if it was more than a hundred bucks they were swindled.

Keep Breathing (2022)

What The Hell?

[3/10 · 20 August 2022]

I think the title is an encouragement to viewers who might have lost the will to live by the end of the last interminable episode. Started poorly and went downhill.

The Gray Man (2022)

Why?

[3/10 · 22 July 2022]

What a load of tripe. Sat through an hour lost the will to live. They could have made about fourteen decent movies with the amount of money they spent on this.

Lone Rider (2008 TV Movie)

Gary Cooper remake?

[4/10 · 15 December 2021]

I'm not saying it was a cliché but, turn it into B&W, and you're back the 1950s watching every western you've ever saw as a kid. All it needed was Rin Tin Tin and the Cisco Kid, a few native Americans with bows and arrows, or a train with a cowcatcher on the front.

10 Minutes Gone (2019)

Watched the titles and it went downhill from there

[1/10 · 15 July 2021]

Acting 1/10 (extra point for being laughable) Script 0/10 Plot 0/10 Editing 0/10 (put together from the outakes on the cutting room floor)

Willis and Chiklis will want every to forget they ever heard of this movie.

SAS: Red Notice (2021)

Really?!

[2/10 · 18 March 2021]

Utter tripe. Had to suspend disbelief to accept they got finance to make this film. Just a succession of cliches from the titles to the credits.

My Dad's Christmas Date (2020)

One Star because they won't allow none

[1/10 · 13 December 2020]

Truly dreadful. No doubt the cast will be doing their best to ensure that it doesn't appear on their resume. Insulting portayal of British people.

No spoilers because it is not possible to spoil this movie.

Is My Daughter Really Dead? (2019)

Good for a laugh.

[3/10 · 7 November 2020]

In the absence of anybody who can: Act, Write a Script or plot, or Direct the crew managed to come up with a halfway decent spoof thriller.

9-1-1: Lone Star (2020– )

Is this a joke?

[1/10 · 1 October 2020]

If so it's not funny. Just about the most patronising attempt to represent every minority group you could think, whilst insulting all of them and simultaneously trivialising emergency services.

Sweet Sunshine (2020)

If You Like Your Coffee Sweet...

[1/10 · 30 May 2020]

The storyline was pure treacle. In the absence of anyone who could act, direct or write a decent script the cast and crew made a courageous attempt to create a vehicle a few quite nice songs. I'm not sure if the cast actually provided the voices for the music, the lip sync was awful but if you closed your eyes and listened they were quite good.

Wish Man (2019)

Hope you like cheese.

[1/10 · 7 December 2019]

Every ironing board movie cliche you've ever seen is represented here in not very glorious colour. The truly dreadful acting is only surpassed by the awful recorded music and poor sound quality. However, the real star of the show is the script, which has all the literary charm of a homework essay from a fifth grade schoolchild.

Holiday in the Wild (2019)

Truly Awful

[2/10 · 5 November 2019]

Sickly sweet z movie, patronising to the locals. Script is abysmal, plot is ridiculous, acting is third rate. Some beautiful photography.

Somewhere Between (2017)

Truly Dreadful

[1/10 · 13 December 2018]

Awful acting, absurd plot, dialogue pitiful. So bad it was almost comical