TheCorniestLemur Reviews

Mr. Robot: eps1.3_da3m0ns.mp4 (2015) Season 1, Episode 4

F o r e s h a d o w i n g

[10/10 · 7 September 2022]

Right, so...this is a weird one. I remember watching this episode for the first time and...still being interested, but having absolutely no idea what nearly anything in Elliot's crazy withdrawal hallucinations was supposed to be conveying.

And to be fair to myself, I really do think that you would need to have watched the whole show to fully grasp what's going on in this sequence. Now that I have...holy crap, this episode is a masterclass in foreshadowing. However, I completely get it if anyone considers the whole withdrawal trip scene to be pointless on their first watch, and it does take up a considerable chunk of the episode.

All I can do without spoiling everything is assure you that it is anything but pointless, and anyway, I think it reveals just enough subtle little details about Elliot's character to feel like it isn't just there for foreshadowing reasons.

Sure, neither Darlene nor Angela's parts of the episode are as fascinating as Elliot's, but they are both necessary, interesting on their own, and don't feel like they kill the pace or make the episode boring. And anyway, writing something as fascinating for either Darlene or Angela when we haven't delved into their minds nearly as much as Elliot's would have been virtually impossible as far as I can tell.

If you don't get it upon first watch though, I get it. I'm not gonna come to your house with a pitchfork. Promise.

Edit: I've decided that, at least for a while, I'm not going to be writing reviews any more. For the sake of time, my mental and financial health, other things I want to be doing, etc, etc, you get the point. It could be for a short time, but I won't lie, it could be forever. Depends on how it goes, but I'll still be rating things so you can get mad when my opinions are wrong...just not in as much detail.

Mr. Robot: eps1.2_d3bug.mkv (2015) Season 1, Episode 3

Them Swedes, huh?

[9/10 · 6 September 2022]

Context: I'm Swedish.

But Tyrell is really starting to show his crazy side at this point, and I love that. He's easily the most entertaining character to watch because you just never know what he'll do next.

I will however, say that I don't think it's made clear enough exactly what his plan is later on in the episode. The guy who he gets to take him home is seen for like two seconds before that scene so you don't recognise him, and I don't even think that the guy he's targeting was mentioned by name until the very end.

You still get the impression that he's up to something dodgy, so it's not a huge deal, but I did get a little confused by his last scene.

Some other little nitpicks are that I think Shayla's actor feels a little...held back somehow, and I find it really, really funny that they chose to have child Elliot also wearing a black hoodie as though it wouldn't have been obvious from the dialogue that it's Elliot as a child.

Some of you might also think it's a little unrealistic that Elliot is willing to work with Mr. Robot again after the events of the last episode, but trust me, that is anything but unrealistic once you get to the end of the season. If you are watching this for the first time though, then I totally get how you would feel that.

And speaking of Elliot, his part of the episode is hilarious and tragic all at once, as he tries to adapt to a normal life, and the results are funny, but also sad because you want him to be okay. Thankfully, his relationship with Shayla is really damn sweet and you feel as though there is a chance for him...before it all comes crashing down.

Side note, his monologuing about people's "bugs" is brilliant the whole way through.

I forgot just how much of a ponce Ollie is, but man do I want to whack him. Thankfully, his and Angela's plot line around the dilemma of them being hacked is shaping up well, so it's not like he's unbearable to watch.

If I remember right though...the next episode is where things get reeeeeally whacky.

Sunshine (2007)

Courage The Cowardly Dog is a lot different then I remember

[8/10 · 4 September 2022]

There is some bad science in this good sci-fi.

I don't get very angry at nonsense science in sci-fi, but I do get the slight sense that something went a bit wrong when I can see something wrong with your physics. I got a D in GCSE physics, for reference. I can still tell you that the Sun's gravity is not strong enough to distort space-time, the only thing with gravity strong enough for that is a black hole.

What I do want to talk about is the fact that this film DEFINITELY ripped off an episode of Courage The Cowardly Dog that has nearly the exact same plot. No, I'm not joking, it was called Mission To The Sun and it came out several years before this. More than that, I looked it up and I seem to be the only person on the entire internet who's noticed this.

That said, you most definitely wouldn't get the same experience with the two. If anything, this feels like Danny Boyle and Alex Garland saw that episode and decided to play it straight and serious. And if they would ever like to team up again in the future, I'd be more than happy to check whatever they make out, because after The Beach was...eh?, and 28 Days Later was really good, this was absolutely fantastic. They just kept getting better.

I do think there's quite a bit of room for improvement though, but we'll get to that. Something that doesn't leave room for improvement in this is the acting. Start to finish, every single performance in this is brilliant, and if Cillian Murphy would like to keep working with Danny Boyle too, I'd be A-okay with that.

The narrative and symbolism in this script is easily the most interesting I've ever seen from Alex Garland (although I haven't seen Ex Machina or Men yet), and Danny Boyle took that script and made it even better when filming it. The lighting, the cinematography, and the production design are all jaw-dropping, and the fact that all this was made for just $40 million is beyond ludicrous.

Oh, and of course that score is absolutely gorgeous. You already know that.

However...I have a lot of praise for this, but the ending does go off the rails a bit. I don't have a problem with the villain in concept, and I absolutely adore how he's presented, but something about him does feel a little half-baked. Supposedly, the film was originally going to be a lot more existential, and all the characters would have their faiths tested by the mission and could have been going insane, etc etc...

And I really wish they had stuck to their guns and done that because not only would the villain feel more natural in that scenario, what with him babbling on about how God was speaking to him, but it would also make the other characters a lot more interesting too.

As it is, they're not entirely flat and indistinct from each other, but they really don't do or say a whole lot that lets the audience have any deep understanding of them, so it's screaming "missed opportunity" at me.

And I mean a huuuuge one. If they had just gone that extra step, then I really do think we could have had a masterpiece to rival 2001 for existential and slightly abstract sci-fi.

As it is, it's still damn good though, and it seems to be one of Danny Boyle's least talked about films, which really is a shame. So if you've also been finding yourself cursing the sun recently for being too hot, give this a watch and you might just appreciate it a little more.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

Hehehe...seamen

[4/10 · 1 September 2022]

Well, uh...I got a few nice sea shanties, I suppose?

Just as well, because I'm genuinely not sure what else I was meant to get out of this. The only thing even approaching what I'd call a character arc in this is a single disagreement that really doesn't strike me as important at all between Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany, which is kind of sweet when it's resolved...only for it to come up again right at the end, making the whole thing feel pointless.

The same can be said for the plot as a whole, come to think of it. This whole film is about chasing a ship, and the ending scene makes it feel like they didn't even achieve that. Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen an ending scene in a film that completely guts so much of what it seemed to be going for, and it wasn't all that exciting watching a ship full of people I don't care about chasing another ship full of people I don't even know to begin with, especially when there's quite a few pointless scenes.

Well I say I didn't care about them, but that's not entirely true. I did get a pretty impressive sense of camaraderie from the ship crew, which highlights the best thing about this: the performances are all great. I don't think any of the characters are memorable or interesting in the slightest, but at least every one of them is believable.

It's shot and edited fine, I guess (what do you MEAN this beat Return Of The King for the best cinematography Oscar), and the soundtrack is as forgettable as the average puddle, but I will give a shoutout to the production and costume design. What can I say, I think the costumes look good, and I do really applaud the decision to actually film some of this out at sea.

But other than that, this is about as exciting to me as being stuck in the doldrums.

The 400 Blows (1959)

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare

[8/10 · 30 August 2022]

1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die: #9

Okay, I am really glad I was able to find this one subtitled. I know it's nowhere near as obscure as 1900 or The 36th Chamber Of Shaolin, but it is much older than either of those, which could quite easily have been a recipe for disaster.

Thankfully, it wasn't, which is great because I really didn't feel any great loss at not being able to cover either of those two aforementioned films; I mean, I'd never even heard of either of them, but The 400 Blows? Come on, I was a film student until very recently. I've probably seen that final shot more times and been forced to put more thought into it than my own reflection.

And I'm happy to say that although it could have easily borne the burden of me getting sick of it, I didn't. I certainly think it's a little overrated for reasons I'll get into in a bit, but all in all I do believe that it deserves its place in this collection.

I feel like in some ways this may have been a progenitor of the "nothing film" I've railed on in the past, where writers (for some reason unfathomable to me) think it's genius to write a film with no real plot for the sake of realism. And to be fair, that may have had some merit once. As in, literally one time. The first time someone did it. I don't know when that was, but regardless, I don't see the point in doing it more than once.

I don't think it would be quite accurate to label this a "nothing film", but it definitely has some of the same DNA, such as scenes that don't really add anything to the plot and instead focus on the tone and setting, an ending that feels less like a conclusion of the narrative and more like it's just been cut off, and focusing on working-class characters.

The reason I like this film is because it feels as though it has much more of a purpose behind these things, namely to give the sense of showing a chapter in Doinel's life (I suppose that there being a few sequels to this does retroactively help with this feeling though), and the ending feels more like a cliffhanger than an arbitrary point where they ran out the budget.

Plus, this film didn't just straight up forget to have a plot, and what do you know? That makes it much easier to make your viewer give a single toss about the character they're watching! Who'd have thought?

And on that note, I find Doinel to be a pretty compelling character, even if a lot of his motivation/backstory is only revealed right at the end, which does feel like a bit of a missed opportunity. And if there's one thing I'd say this film does near flawlessly, it's how it depicts childhood, specifically that feeling during childhood where you're convinced that all the adults are out to get you. Plus the performances are all incredible, including all the kids.

I do think that some of the dialogue sounds like an adult's words coming out of a child's mouth, and it would have been nice if the whole subplot of Doinel's mother cheating actually went anywhere...and I guess you could argue that some scenes are a little pointless, but putting that aside, this is an absolutely gorgeous look at someone's childhood.

It's also really well directed and shot, proving that Truffaut knew what he was talking about when he coined the auteur theory, and has a very unique soundtrack, which I don't usually see people bring up in relation to this.

So you know what, this is the second film from the 50's in a row that I do get the hype for. Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised when most of the big budget, studio produced films I'd seen from that time weren't all that great. Maybe not much has changed after all.

Mr. Robot: eps1.1_ones-and-zer0es.mpeg (2015) Season 1, Episode 2

Yeet

[9/10 · 23 August 2022]

I don't think that this episode packs quite as much punch as the pilot, but it most definitely delivers some great set up for the future.

It starts with Tyrell being shown to have a pretty weird fixation with Elliot, and for the rest of the episode this is left as kind of a mystery.

Then there's the introduction to Vera, who you'd think from this episode would only serve as a reason for Elliot to not have morphine anymore, but you would be so wrong. And man is he a piece of work, and perfectly played by Elliot Villar.

Then there's Elliot doing more morphine than he should, Ollie getting hacked, and all of this is brilliant set up because it still remains interesting to watch, and everything that I noted was amazing about the first episode is also amazing here.

I did still note a few cheesy or questionable lines of dialogue, and it seemed to me like we kind of entirely skipped over Elliot figuring out how to hack Steel Mountain without killing anyone. There's a single shot that hints at what he's planning, but it's not something you'd ever be able to make a connection between it and the hack unless you've already seen the show, so it feels a little rushed when in the very next scene, he tells Mr. Robot that he has a different plan that we barely got to see any of.

But so far, the show is just as great as I remember, if not more so, and I'm really glad I decided to return to it.

Mr. Robot: eps1.0_hellofriend.mov (2015) Season 1, Episode 1

Elliot is my "he's literally me" character

[9/10 · 22 August 2022]

Ah, Mr. Robot. I'll just spoil my thoughts for you now: this is my favourite show of all time, and I've been struck by the sudden urge to rewatch it, because I haven't since it ended, which was nearly three years ago now.

This does mean I'm putting Better Call Saul on hiatus for now, but trust me, I loved the first season enough that I will certainly return to it. And while I'm running admin on how my reviews for TV work, here's something I should have mentioned as far back as my review of the second episode of The Queen's Gambit: I will spoil every episode as I review them, because otherwise with a serialised show such as this, I don't think there's usually all that much interesting to talk about from episode to episode other than the plot.

Typically it'll be more or less the same quality of direction, acting, sound, cinematography, etc. Should that ever noticeably change from episode to episode, then I'll mention it, but otherwise I find that the only thing really worth talking about is what happens in each episode, and I mention this here because (and I cannot stress this enough) this is a show with HUGE twists in it. All the way through, and every single one of them is brilliant and deserves to be experienced, rather than read about.

So if you haven't seen the show, and you're reading this, do not, I repeat, DO NOT read any more of this review, or any future ones for this show until you've seen the respective episode. Take this as my recommendation right off the bat, and go watch this damn show because not enough people have, and if there is one thing I am determined to make more popular than it is by the time I die, it's Mr. Robot. I talk about it every chance I get, and I figured it was only right to finally bring that to the internet instead of annoying everyone I know anymore.

So where to start...well, as you might have guessed from the title, I find Elliot to be an extremely relatable character. I experience a decent amount of social anxiety, I have a certain penchant for my black hoodie that started round about the time I got about halfway through this show, I sometimes dream of saving the world...the only thing I can't do that he does is hack. I only got a C in GCSE Computing, and frankly I'd be surprised if I can still properly remember how to tell the bloody machine how to say "hello world".

And he's also such an interesting character - right from the very start of this episode you want to know what this guy's deal is, and the things he does are always intriguing to me. You could certainly make the case that he's a morally bad character, maybe not to the same degree as Walter White or BoJack Horseman, but there is a darker side to him for sure.

And I found that there's also a profound sense that he's hiding something in this episode, whether he knows it or not. If you've just watched the first episode and came back to this, trust me, you have no idea just how deep this show will delve into his warped mind.

The show even manages to give a solid in-universe reason for its narration - Elliot is talking to an imaginary friend he just created, because he feels like he can't truly connect with anyone else. And the narration doesn't fall into the trap of just telling the story or explaining the obvious to you, it does what all great narration does: give you an insight into the character's mind that you just couldn't get without it.

The only thing I do take a slight issue with concerning Elliot in this episode is him having sex. This might be an extremely petty complaint, but I can't help but remember how that felt just a little bit insulting to me as an extremely anxious 17 year old, and even though I'm a little better now, I can't help but imagine that sex must be a fairly rare event to most people with diagnosed social anxiety.

But anyway, all the other characters are so brilliantly written too, from the titular Mr. Robot, who is charming, witty and has a few secrets of his own, to Angela and how she wants to be friends with him, to a higher degree than he's comfortable with even though they've known each other since childhood.

And every single one of these performances is as downright perfect, and if memory serves, will remain so for the rest of the series.

The directing, editing and cinematography is similarly pristine, and will also remain so for the rest of the series if I recall correctly. The show has a visual style that's too unique to do justice in this review, but rest assured it looks phenomenal.

And you know what else is phenomenal? The score, composed by Mac Quayle for the whole show, is a jittery techno masterpiece, and perfectly fits both the story and themes of the show while being brilliant and perfect for whatever scene it's used in.

And especially considering that it's a pilot episode, it's structured and plotted perfectly. The world is set up, the characters feel defined, there's not one, but TWO major narrative hooks to keep you watching, like...damn this show gets under your skin quickly.

My only other issue is that some of the dialogue comes off as a little awkward. Sometimes intentionally so, which is fine, but other lines come off as kind of cringey to me, almost like something a little kid who thinks they're an expert hacker would say. Either that or a raging incel.

And Mr. Robot himself has some lines that are borderline rip-offs of The Matrix, which really took me out of the scene for a bit.

But aside from that, this first episode is brilliant, and it's only up from here...

Better Call Saul: Marco (2015) Season 1, Episode 10

Kevin Costner, baby

[8/10 · 16 August 2022]

So...I have to admit that this episode feels a little weak to me as a season finale. At least until the very final scene. I like where everything ended up going, but for a while I was confused at what this was all leading up to, and something about Saul buggering off to Chicago feels like a janky departure from the season's main plot.

As well as his motivation for buggering off back to Albuquerque feeling a little weak. He just listens to his messages and instantly is inspired to go back? Eh, not really buying that.

And the bingo scene felt a little forced to me even if it was pretty funny, but the opening scene was great, the middle part of the episode was fantastic, and...you know what, just assume that anything I didn't specifically mention was great, because it was.

This certainly isn't a terrible episode, because there haven't been any terrible episodes, but I would argue it's one of the worst so far.

The season as a whole though...it's amazing, 9/10. However, I think I'm going to give this show a break for now, there's something else I've had a huge urge to revisit for a while now...

Better Call Saul: Pimento (2015) Season 1, Episode 9

"And that, in a nutshell, is why trickle-down economics is a load of crap!"

[10/10 · 16 August 2022]

So...Trevor from GTA V is in this episode. Of course it's my favourite so far.

But being serious though, there is not a second of this episode that feels wasted, or boring, or underwhelming, it's easily the best so far in my opinion.

And that twist at the end was bloody heartbreaking, yet you understand everyone's perspective on it. Seriously brilliant stuff.

Better Call Saul: RICO (2015) Season 1, Episode 8

RICO nasty

[8/10 · 16 August 2022]

I wouldn't have ever thought nursing home fraud could be so interesting, but if there's one guy who could make it interesting, it certainly is Vince Gilligan.

The way this episode has you questioning where this is going at first, to extremely entertained at Jimmy's antics trying to investigate, to heartwarmed at Jimmy and Chuck working together again, is just amazing, especially with the opening flashback to provide context.

What's a little less amazing is Mike's short part of this episode. To be honest, so little happens that it feels...not pointless, but just in the way of Jimmy and Chuck's side of the episode to me.

And that's certainly an interesting cliffhanger to leave things on, so I imagine I'll be back to talk about where that goes pretty soon.

Better Call Saul: Bingo (2015) Season 1, Episode 7

A right kettle of fish

[9/10 · 12 August 2022]

I can't say that this episode is as emotionally devastating as the previous one, but honestly, some part of me thinks that maybe I prefer the Kettleman's subplot, if only because it's incredibly entertaining watching Saul wiggle his way out of this situation.

I will say that I think the scene of Mike in the Kettleman's house went on for a bit too long, but aside from that, this is pretty much a flawless episode, with some funny dialogue, great pacing, and really nice cinematography.

And good god Betsy is such a Karen holy crap.

3-Iron (2004)

A hole in one

[8/10 · 10 August 2022]

1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die: #8

Hey look, I actually managed to find this with subtitles! I guess it's pretty simple, but the rule of thumb would appear to be that the older and more relatively obscure a non-English film is, the more likely it is that I'm going to have to replace it with something else.

Probably should have figured that out in the first place, to be fair. But anyway, I've never been all that down with K-pop, but K-film (if that's just what we call everything from Korea), is some good stuff. Parasite, Thirst, Oldboy (I know these are all fairly basic choices but screw you they're all awesome choices) - in short, Korea's most likely got the best track record for non English language films if you ask me.

And this film's a pretty fine addition to that pile. It's a weird and charming little love story that's kind of like if Let The Right One In were combined with Parasite. Even though our two main characters never say a word to each other, they still have a very believable chemistry because both Jae Hee and Lee Seung-yeon really manage to sell that their characters are extremely lonely, yet also don't really like people in general and would rather just enjoy each other's company without talking. They're both great in this, and in addition to that, they have more solidly defined personalities than you'd expect.

It's also the kind of film where if I watched it again, I could probably write a whole essay on its meaning and how it relates to our desire for interaction, the concept of "home", loneliness, and all sorts of things, but that'll have to wait. For now, I'll say that I did think that the music was a bit obnoxious and it could have been toned down a bit in a few scenes, and that I'm not sure what the ending was implying, but if it was that Sun-hwa is now completely happy...under the circumstances of what is actually happening in the ending I do find that a bit dodgy.

It could be something else entirely, but that's how it seemed to me, and I don't think you should be implying that people can be happy in abusive relationships.

But regardless, Korea's hot streak is still going pretty strong, and it is at least possible for me to find English subs at the very least, so even if Sun-hwa shouldn't be happy, I am.

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

The Texas Chainbore Massacre

[3/10 · 8 August 2022]

I...really, really don't know what I'm supposed to take away from this.

Because it wasn't funny, it wasn't scary, nothing about it strikes me as being particularly satirical, so what I'm left with is a dull attempt to ape The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is already a film I absolutely despise.

Ironically though, I would say (at least from memory) that this is slightly more tolerable than TTCM for me (pitchforks down please), ironically BECAUSE it feels like a failed attempt to ape that annoying piece of crap.

The reason I hate that film so much is that I find it incessantly annoying instead of scary, with its awful camera quality, grating sound design, and directing that can barely do anything interesting other than shove the camera into one weird object after another and hope it shocks you.

But I do understand why it works so well for so many people - it's precisely because of everything I just mentioned that the majority find it terrifying. So for those people, this film that tries to do that and ends up doing it worse makes it inferior, but for me, who is really annoyed by all those things, doing them worse actually makes it a slight improvement.

Only a slight one, though.

Because while I do think it's actually a pretty decently directed film, unfortunately the editing is doing most of the heavy lifting to make this nearly as annoying as TTCM for me. This entire goddamn film is spliced up with shots of completely random rubbish with wacky filters over it in between scenes, cuts, and sometimes even lines of dialogue, so much so that if you removed all that, I'd be willing to bet that you'd cut the runtime by a good ten minutes.

But even though it's not as badly directed as it could have been, and the acting is all pretty decent, it can't escape its plot as thin as the hairs below the nose of a 14 year old boy, or how obviously it's ripping off TTCM, or how it can't even start doing that until the second half (seriously the first 45 minutes of this are so BORING, and now that I think about it, the next 45 aren't much better).

Not to mention the music sucks, the characters are wooden, and it ruins its own attempted twist ending in its opening scene, so (I can't believe I'm about to say this) just go watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre instead. At least then you'll be watching a classic, plus if everyone I've ever talked to about it is any indication, you'll probably enjoy it a lot more than I do.

Better Call Saul: Five-O (2015) Season 1, Episode 6

I was waiting for them to call him "Mikey-boy"

[10/10 · 31 July 2022]

Oh yeah. This is the kind of thing I want to see in prequels. Some side to the characters we haven't seen before, information previously not known, something along those lines, and this episode delivers that in spades. Mike already, by episode 6 of this show, has a depth to him that was never seen in Breaking Bad, and I absolutely loved how the episode was structured to slowly peel back the layers of what happened in Philadelphia.

That said, I'm not sure what the point of the scene in the vet was, plus some of the dialogue towards the beginning stuck out to me as pretty cliche-sounding, and how the hell did they miss the fact that Mike's granddaughter should be a baby? She looks about the same age as she did in Breaking Bad, but this is set six years before it.

Still though...dear god is Jonathan Banks incredible in this episode, and dear god is the way it gives some backstory to Mike while (as far as I remember anyway) not contradicting anything that was established in Breaking Bad amazing.

I'm happy that I was right to be excited for where they were going with Mike.

Better Call Saul: Alpine Shepherd Boy (2015) Season 1, Episode 5

Fill me up with more episodes like this

[10/10 · 30 July 2022]

Second best episode of the show so far if you ask me. And more than likely the funniest episode thus far too, that string of scenes of Jimmy meeting with crazy clients feels like something only Vince Gilligan could pull off without it feeling like filler.

It's nice to now care about what's happening with Chuck a little more, although I do think that having the entire potential issue of him being upset with Jimmy for pulling a con again seeming to have been resolved in a single conversation is a pretty big wasted opportunity.

And while I'm complaining, I did think some of the shots of Mike doing...whatever he was doing at the end of this episode were obnoxiously long and not really showing much worth showing.

But I am now interested in what they might do with Mike going forward, so it's nice they're not going to keep him stuffed in a box all season.

So while it doesn't quite reach the heights of the Tuco episode, it's still pretty bloody awesome.

Back to the Future (1985)

To this day I cannot get over "butthead"

[10/10 · 27 July 2022]

Every damn time.

Every single goddamn time I watch this film I want to skateboard, and I want to be able to play guitar much better than I can, and I want to beat up the school bully...basically I just wanted to be Marty McFly.

And I have done ever since I was 11 when I first watched this, because he really is just the perfect protagonist. He has a relatable struggle with wanting to be successful, his story has high stakes, he's extremely likable and funny...just about the only thing you could complain about is the often recognised fact that he doesn't really have an arc of any sort.

But (at least for me) it's really not needed because of everything he does mentioned above, plus the fact that no one could have played him any better than Michael J. Fox, who delivers what is honestly one of my favourite performances ever in this film, and the fact that he very nearly couldn't be part of the film at all is terrifying. There's some other universe that has Eric Stoltz as Marty instead, and no hate to Eric, but that's not a universe I want to live in.

But for as much as I could bang on about Michael J. Fox in this, all the other major actors are just as fantastic. Every single one of them played one of the best examples of their respective archetype in cinema: Christopher Lloyd gave us one of the most memorable and funniest mad scientists ever, Crispin Glover must have forever damaged his social standing by playing one of the biggest dorks ever captured on film to perfection, Lea Thompson never fails to convince you that she is an utterly infatuated girl (and an alcoholic at the beginning), and Thomas F. Wilson as Biff is my single favourite bully in cinematic history. What an ass.

Coming back to this after it had been a few years since I last saw it, however, it really struck me just how funny this film is. I remembered there being a few jokes, sure, but this really is a straight-up comedy, and everyone of the aforementioned actors aside from Michael J. Fox is hamming it up massively. But it works because Marty is the everyman thrown into a wacky situation unimaginable to anyone watching, so every other character being so over the top works perfectly for the tone.

None of them could have been so funny without a great script though, and as far as I'm concerned this film has one of the best ever written. There's brilliant foreshadowing, set ups and payoffs, the plot is imaginative, it's paced flawlessly, and the dialogue is absolutely gorgeous. Trust me, another thing I do everytime I watch this is I end up quoting it for weeks afterward.

This has also got to be Robert Zemeckis' best directing by far - so many memorable images, the production design is great, especially with how good it is at making you believe you're looking at a 50's version of a town, and there isn't a single editing flub.

And good lord that main theme. Need I say more?

You can argue that there's a few minor plot holes here and there, and admittedly in some ways it is a little problematic today, but none of that really bugs me because of just how damn good this screenplay is overall, and I really couldn't think of anything else to moan about.

So yeah, Back To The Future was in some ways already a classic in 1985, it was a classic in 2015, it'll undoubtedly still be a classic in 2045 and beyond, and if you haven't seen it...get on that. You've only got so much time.

The 39 Steps (1935)

Run. (beat drop)

[7/10 · 18 July 2022]

1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die: #7

I've talked some crap before about how I think a lot of older films (specifically English language pre-New Hollywood ones) do not hold up well at all, likely because they were mostly dictated according to the whims of the producer and the position of the director was more of a formality. At least if you were working under one of the big 5 studios at the time.

But this is Alfred bloody Hitchcock, BOI, and so I do have to admit that directing-wise, this is much better than a lot of films from around this time. This guy knows how to frame his damn shots, for one thing, and for another, he knows how to make something that could be rather benign, like two guys standing next to a phone booth, looking at someone over the top of a newspaper, or a noisy crowd, very visually interesting. Of the four films I've seen from Hitchcock, personally I wouldn't put him anywhere near the title of one of the best directors of all time, but I totally get why he would have been considered as such at the time.

It's just that I think that he has also suffered from not aging particularly gracefully as time has gone on, and this is a prime example. While I was interested in the unfolding mystery this film presents, and I found it well presented and generally fun to watch...it was one of the first "man on the run" style thrillers, and it unfortunately shows. The story is fun, and it keeps a good pace, but I frankly couldn't tell you a damn thing about any of the characters other than the most basic motivations possible, and even at a mere 86 minutes long, this does feel rather padded out to me. Like how many times is the main character going to run somewhere with absolutely no relevance to the plot, and then have to run away again in short order?

And how much of that could have gone towards making characters that are a bit more interesting instead? Probably a decent chunk, I'd wager, and it doesn't help much that the acting from around this period of cinematic history from the leading man and woman always feels nearly identical to every other film of the time. It's not bad, but I swear with every new film I see from before the New Hollywood, I'm more and more convinced that any of the Golden Age's stars could have played each other's roles.

What saves it a little for me is that there is some brilliant dialogue, even if some of it does feel a little creepy, there are other lines that are witty, or intriguing, or shocking.

So that's The 39 Steps for you. My dad'll be happy I finally watched it after him nagging me to since I can bloody remember. And you know what, I'm happy too. I've definitely spent 86 minutes a lot worse in my time.

Performance (1970)

Synths, innit bruv?

[7/10 · 12 July 2022]

Well, you know how it is. Cows go moo, dogs go woof, Nick goes "film that I completely did not get but enjoyed the experience of gets a 3.5."

Having said that, I certainly feel more capable of describing what this film is about and its general message and themes than I do with something like A Field In England, but still...dear lord the editing in this film is hallucination-inducing, the way the narrative feels like it's intentionally trying to confuse you is certainly...unique, and that soundtrack. Jesus.

But I'll reiterate that I did enjoy it. I love all the acting, the editing might be confusing but it is always stylish and interesting to look at, the story (or what I could make of it at least) is a very interesting examination of how people identify and choose to present themselves (and the fact that it was written in the late 60's is insane, you could seriously make this exact same film today and it'd likely still be considered very progressive), every scene has some new and interesting kind of shot for you to feast your eyes upon, and the set design is great.

It's getting the famous "3.5 because I'm pretty sure I don't get it" rating from me because...well, because I'm pretty sure I don't get it, and I don't feel entirely comfortable saying that something that I feel as though I don't understand is anything more than good. I could understand it tomorrow and suddenly think it's a massive pile of crap.

And also there is some stuff that I'm pretty sure I know I don't like. For one thing, the soundtrack sounds like the composer just found out about synthesizers and was determined to wring them out for everything they're worth, and then keep going until their economic value was comparable to one of those islands only populated by a tribe untouched by civilization.

Basically what I mean is the soundtrack is incredibly annoying.

I also don't know what to make of the dialogue, it's certainly very strange, I just don't know if it's in a bad way.

And finally, I'm not at all convinced that everything this film showed was necessary at all. The court scene at the beginning feels like it's only there to make an already confusing film even more confusing, I cannot fathom why Chas does what he does at the end, and what the entire ending in general means I have no goddamn clue.

If you want to know that, you'll have to ask someone much smarter than me, or be patient and wait for me to get around to watching this for a second time. Which could be a while.

Or, you could take my recommendation and watch the pretentious arty Rocky Horror Picture Show starring Mick bloody Jagger for yourself. In fact I very much think you should.

28 Days Later (2002)

They run now?

[7/10 · 8 July 2022]

1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die: #6

Okay...I should address the elephant in the room. I've pulled another sneaky one on all of you because this isn't actually the sixth film on this list. That would be Two Or Three Things I Know About Her, which would pain me to do now because the title starts with a "T" not a "2". Yes I am that pedantic. I've made a note of it though, don't worry, I will get back to it once I hit the "T" section in about 25 years.

And I'm not doing The 36th Chamber Of Shaolin either because much like with 1900, I could not find it anywhere with English subtitles and I utterly despise dubs. So like when I made an executive decision to talk about 1917 instead, I made another one here and thought of something I think you should see before you die that comes alphabetically between 2001 and the next film on this list. And thinking about films I'd seen that fit that criteria, it was either this or Roland Emmerich's 2012, so I'll hear no complaints thank you very much.

Interestingly though, I barely remembered anything about this, only that I had seen it at some point. And that was awesome, because this was close to feeling like a new experience to me. Plus I feel quite justified in unofficially putting this on the list, because if there is one thing this film demonstrated to me in spades, it's just how much a good director can improve an...okay script. I mean think about it, yes this film might have invented the concept of a zombie that can move faster than the sperm of a 96 year old man, but those are a dime a dozen nowadays, and other than that and an anti-military slant that isn't very common in the subgenre, this really doesn't do anything new or interesting in either the story, structure, or the characters.

And while that is still a problem to me, what it does do, and in absolute spades, is directing, cinematography, and editing. So much so that it makes it one of the most memorable zombie films I've ever seen. The choice to film the whole thing on a crappy digital camera was genius, because it gives everything such a rough and raw feel and makes the lighting much dimmer that blends perfectly with the overall tone and gives it a unique look too.

Danny Boyle's directing is also absolutely stellar and he gives every scene something visually interesting. I for one, have never seen a film with so many damn dutch angles that manages to look completely natural and not make me feel seasick, and there's so many images burned into my mind after watching it. And you know what, the second scene of this film positively dunks all over The Quiet Earth for how much it can make you feel like the main character is truly alone. And that was a film that wanted you to believe he was the only person left on Earth, not just in London.

And the editing...christ I love the choice of shooting quick shots from the zombies' perspectives and then cutting out any sound from them when they're about to attack. And how it's sensible enough to let a lot of music (oh, and the soundtrack bangs too) start off very subtle and build into a massive crescendo by the end of the scene. And...well basically, I could rattle on about this kind of thing all day, but I must be getting boring now.

So I'll shake out a few more complaints and then be on my way: I think the kid's acting absolutely sucked. She can barely say a single line convincingly, which is especially noticeable when all the other actors are at the absolute top of their games throughout. There's also a tendency to have some really cheesy dialogue that often feels incredibly jarring to the horrible situation the characters find themselves in. Not saying you should never have some levity in darker films, but something about this just didn't sit right with me.

Speaking of that, though, I find the entire opening scene pretty goofy. I don't know if this was the intention, but it seemed to me to be implying that the Rage virus was caused by the scientists showing the monkeys the news? Not that I'd blame them for getting incredibly angry at that, but even I've never spontaneously developed a blood-borne pathogen in that situation. And why the hell does the scientist say "rage" just to be dramatic even though the people holding him at gunpoint will have no idea what he's talking about?

But none of that is really too important, especially not in such a strong directorial statement such as this. Even if it might not be doing anything too original story-wise, you ain't never seen anything like it directing-wise. It's pretty damn awesome and should be proudly stamped on this list officially, not just on my word.

BioShock (2007 Video Game)

Darling it's better down where it's wetter

[8/10 · 2 July 2022]

So where the hell have I been for half a month, you might be asking? Well, the internet in my house went down, and on top of that, me and my girlfriend were in the middle of moving when this happened.

Given this fact, we figured that there wasn't any point in shelling out money to get the internet fixed when we were moving soon anyway, and the process of moving took longer than expected. That's the VERY short version of what happened, but we're all moved in now, and if the internet should ever bugger up here, since it's an apartment complex, it shouldn't be for long because more people than just us will be affected by it.

But since I couldn't do much of what I usually do with the internet down, in addition to the lengthy process of moving, all I really did was play this little game you might have heard of.

Now, I have played this before, but I was either 15 or 16 and so I was returning to it under the assumption that a good deal of it probably flew straight over my head at the time. Because this is one of those Smart And Artistic Video Games (TM) that everyone likes to bang on about whenever the conversation of "viddy gamez is art" comes up, and while I'm beyond sick of that whole diatribe myself (the definition of art is literally "the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power" so yes video games are bloody art), it is pretty impossible to not understand why it's earned itself a place in the hall of fame of "art games".

Mainly it's earned itself a place in that hall of fame because the narrative of this game is sodding marvelous, deeper than the city of Rapture itself, insanely imaginative and well written, tackles both political and philosophical themes that most games wouldn't dare go anywhere near, deconstructs the concept of a linear game, and has one HELL of a twist that I simply refuse to spoil here. And returning to it...I was actually surprised how much of it didn't fly right over my teenage self's head. Maybe that chump's smarter than I give him credit for.

Honestly, if it weren't for one tiny little plot hole I noticed that I can't explain without spoiling a lot of the story, and the fact that the contrast between the two different possible endings is extremely jarring (and it's a real pain that if you harvest even one Little Sister then you get the bad ending), then I would describe this game as having a perfect story. Even as it is though, it's got to be one of the best in gaming history.

And everything surrounding the story and lifting it up is just as incredible. The voice acting, even if there's a few regional accents that sound rather questionable, is all brilliant and makes every single character you hear from feel so real and full of personality, even though you never meet the vast majority of them and are only listening to their audio logs.

And those audio logs...good god, while they might be an often mocked method of storytelling in more recent games, in this one every single one you find is so interesting that you don't care in the slightest about that. The characters who leave them are all engrossing, and the world of Rapture and its lore that you'll get out of them is one of the best realised histories to a gaming world I've ever experienced.

But none of that would mean anything if Rapture was boring to actually explore and look at, and thankfully, "boring" is just about the last word I'd ever use to describe it. There's an unmistakable and incredibly aesthetically pleasing style to every environment you find yourself in, the graphics are very nice for 2007, every area is so detailed that I found it impossible to not explore every inch of it, and the lighting, sound design and soundtrack (both original and licensed music) gives the game one of the thickest atmospheres I've ever experienced from a game.

And while both the gunplay and Plasmid combat is very fun, with several different weapons and interesting ammo types to play about with, combined with interesting Plasmid abilities...unfortunately I do have a few rather significant issues with the gameplay.

For one thing, as soon as you realise that when you die, you respawn at the nearest checkpoint with all your ammo and items intact and any enemies you hurt but didn't kill back where they were with the same amount of health you left them with (yes, this is seriously how dying works), you also realise that death has absolutely no consequences, and the game isn't scary or challenging in the least. This is only made worse by the fact that you can't walk five feet without stumbling across extra money, health or ammo, because with that being the case, you likely won't be dying much anyway.

Unless you're up against a Big Daddy, who you'll have to kill if you want to get to its Little Sister (which trust me, you do), and who frankly just aren't fun to fight for me with how overpowered they seem. Especially the ones with drill hands, they can go stick their heads out the nearest window and drown themselves.

The moral choice system is further watered down by the fact that the extra rewards you get for taking the evil paths to make them more tempting are so minimal as to entirely not be worth it, the alarm system is almost indescribably annoying, and all the goddamn hacking you'll be doing if you want to do things somewhat stealthily or give yourself advantages gets very, very tedious, as it's always the exact same thing.

And finally the very ending part of the game feels very anticlimactic no matter which ending you get, as both of them and the final boss feel like they're over and done with within about two minutes. It's just about the one part of the game where they dropped the ball a little on the pacing. And it certainly doesn't help that the section just before the final boss indulges in a utterly terrible and boring escort mission that is by far the worst part of the game.

But even considering all the mean things I just said, although I don't quite agree with the term being applied to this game myself, I totally get why many consider it a masterpiece. And with that...I never did get around to playing either of the two sequels after I played this all those years ago...maybe it's time to rectify that.

Better Call Saul: Hero (2015) Season 1, Episode 4

Whip em out for space blanket

[9/10 · 18 June 2022]

Again, not a particularly nerve-shredding episode, but I love how it's showing Jimmy sinking back into his old methods of conning people, and building up to the potential consequences of that.

And the opening scene that shows what his usual game was back then is a brilliant addition to this episode considering that, plus you not knowing whether or not Nacho is still angry at Jimmy or not because of his schemes is some damn good suspense for the future of the show.

The plan Jimmy comes up with is pretty genius and fun to watch play out too, so all I really wanted to complain about is the same issues as the last episode: maybe a little too slow and not directed as well as Episode 2, but also the fact that something about the Kettleman's acting in the first scene after the intro felt a little...off somehow.

Maybe I'm imagining things, but both of them seemed a little too deadpan. But all in all, it's another great episode and I like where it's going.

Better Call Saul: Nacho (2015) Season 1, Episode 3

"They kidnapped themselves"

[9/10 · 17 June 2022]

Admittedly this episode wasn't quite as balls to the wall exciting as the last one, nor do I think it's quite as well directed, but it has a little bit of mystery to make up for it.

Plus the fact that Mike gets a little bit more to do in this episode, and I think Kim definitely has potential as a good character even if they haven't done all that much with her yet.

On the other hand, I do feel as though I have to question the legality of being represented in court by family members, as the opening scene seems to imply that Jimmy once was. I don't know anything about law, but it doesn't seem like something that would fly to me, so it kind of took me out of that opening scene.

As well as the fact that the police approached Jimmy from two sides at once, making it look like he was about to be killed, chased him down and put him in handcuffs...because someone being held at the police station requested him as his lawyer?

I know we're talking about American police here, but that really feels like it can't be the agreed upon thing to do to a licensed attorney just because someone requested them as their representation.

Anyway...after the end of this episode, seems like there's only more trouble for Jimmy around the corner, and I'm still excited, so it's still got me hooked for now.

Better Call Saul: Mijo (2015) Season 1, Episode 2

Talk about deescalation

[9/10 · 16 June 2022]

I'm going to continue my method of reviewing each individual episode of The Witcher for this show (and probably many more shows to come), which was that, unless I think something I mentioned in my review of the first episode (i.e the acting, directing, cinematography, and pacing) is notably better or worse from episode to episode, I won't mention it.

So on that note, the pacing, and general plot. Holy crap it's soooo much better than the pilot. Everything with Tuco is every bit as entertaining and tense as the character was in Breaking Bad,and the writing in his half of the episode is just so damn good.

The restaurant scene was beautifully shot, the montage scene was beautifully edited (and I love the coffee cup and breadstick symbolism), and the ending scene is brilliant at getting you excited for whatever is to come.

The only problem I had is that I'm still not sure what the point of Chuck's character is, and I really don't think he's that interesting so far. This is a Vince Gilligan show we're talking about though, so that could change at any time.

And something I didn't mention in my review of the first episode is that it looks as though this show's use of licensed music may turn out to be just as great as Breaking Bad's, so yeah. NOW I'm looking forward to the rest of this. In many ways, this feels like the actual pilot episode.

Lego Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga (2022 Video Game)

Nostalgia is a double-edged sword

[5/10 · 13 June 2022]

Like many kids who grew up in the 2000's, Lego games formed a pretty significant part of my hours spent annoying my parents screaming at the TV in my unbroken voice, especially when I wasn't annoying them by leaving my real life Lego all over the floor for them to agonizingly step on. I experienced many franchises I enjoyed in the form of choking hazards, like Batman, Indiana Jones, and Harry Potter.

But the last one I bought was the first Lego Marvel game, although I do recall playing the one based on The Force Awakens because my little brother bought that one, and when he was done with it I figured I might as well give it a try. I don't remember a damn thing about it, but i played that Lego Marvel game for hours on end when I was 12, and then stopped bothering with new Lego games when they came out.

But of all the franchises I experienced through a plastic filter, Star Wars had to be the one I played the most. That could have something to do with the fact that there was three of them, but nevertheless, I put sooooo many hours into all three of them that they're all likely still etched into my mind all these years later.

So hearing about this game, even though I hadn't bought a Lego game since I was 12, nearly 10 years ago, the prospect of having an updated version of those games I loved so much as a child, plus the new trilogy put into Lego form alongside the first six films, was quite alluring.

Unfortunately, it's taught me a pretty sharp lesson in why nostalgia is a hell of a drug. Because, yes, I enjoyed my time playing this game for the most part, but certainly not as much as any of the others, and certainly not enough to play any more than the 45 main levels. But let me raise you a question about Lego games: why do people enjoy them?

I would say one of two reasons: either they're a fan of whatever franchise the game is based on, or because historically, they've always been so irresistibly charming and funny. Even if you don't agree with these reasons, I think one reason we can all agree on as not being a factor in why people (or adults, at least) enjoy these games is the gameplay. The combat has always been mash a button to hit/blast things until they fall apart, platforming has always been incredibly simple and easy, and even if you do die, the only punishment is you lose some currency you picked up. Even then, you respawn fast enough that you can easily get it all back again.

And some of that is different in this game, but we'll get to that soon enough. Applying the two reasons people like these games to me, I do like Star Wars (for the most part, I certainly don't like the first two films of the prequel trilogy, or the last two of the sequel trilogy, but I like the universe, and I'm not going to judge this game on the sometimes awful material it adapts because that just wouldn't be fair.)

So then the other reason...their charm. Well, as much as I hate to say it, I think that these games being fully voice acted for over 10 years now has significantly stripped back that charm. I think their sense of humour was much more unique when there was no dialogue, it's more fitting when you consider that pieces of plastic can't talk, and as an incentive to the developers, I'm sure it was much cheaper too.

This game still has its funny moments, but I really don't think it can compare to the originals. It's like what they did with Tom and Jerry in that awful animated film from the 90's, where they decided to make them talk and sing, and with one fell stroke, completely ruined the comedic purpose of the characters.

And there's never anything particularly funny in the level design either. Remember how there were a bunch of stormtroopers in a hot tub in a random room of the second game? Or how you could make a load of Kaminoans dance by activating a disco ball in the first? You won't get anything like that here, from what I saw anyway.

And the gameplay is both as simple and straightforward as the Lego games of old, yet also reeks of homogeneity. It feels like it's desperately trying to fit into the big boys' club with its cover system, shooting with the triggers (and the aim reticle is atrocious, by the way), free roaming around the galaxy with waaaay too many side missions and collectibles, upgrade system (yes, seriously, this Lego game where you will die and always spawn back exactly where you were has an upgrade system, that I of course never touched), and how it's suddenly got that thing modern games have where it automatically makes your character jump to platforms just by pressing a button, making it even more easy...I really feel like I have to question what the point of these games still being made is.

If it doesn't have as much of the charm, and the way its decided to evolve its gameplay is to make it more like everything else, then what really is the point? I can't even say it has fun bosses or something, because nearly every boss has the exact same moveset, which is just so lazy.

The best thing I can say about it is that it certainly looks and sounds like The Skywalker Saga made with Lego. Barring Yoda looking like absolute crap for whatever reason, and a few of the voice actors being terrible imitators of the characters (seriously, who is the lucky contestant off of r/niceguys that they got to voice Kylo), the graphics and sound design perfectly recreate the Star Wars universe.

Unfortunately, this game I bought to relive some childhood nostalgia only ended up being a rude awakening to how I assume Lego games must have been made since I stopped playing them, and how they've presumably just been trying to make them more like everything else for the last decade or so. And of course, since I'm old now, how much better things were in my day.

Damn it, when did I become my dad...

City of God (2002)

Horny on main

[8/10 · 13 June 2022]

Bit of a nostalgia trip here, this was the first film I ever watched in an academic context, when I was 16. It's been five years.

Bloody hell.

But I have always loved it since then, so I figured it should be added to the record I've been building on here someday...and that day is today. Because of reasons. Reasons including the fact that, while it certainly isn't the film I'd give the most credit to for my love of film today, I think it must be up there. Because if nothing else, it was the first film I was ever forced to watch with a critical eye, and I guess it must have been somewhat responsible for me realising that I liked doing that.

It was also one of the first films that I ever really had to think about the editing in, and I remember coming to the conclusion back then that the common phrase about the best editing being invisible isn't true. The best editing is completely visible and mooning you, but also making you love it. And surprisingly, I think 16 year old me kind of knew what he was talking about, because watching this again, I was immediately smacked in the face with how perfectly this is edited.

It's often frantic, can be cutting more than once per second in the most intense scenes, but also has such memorable edits that aren't like that, like the apartment scene, the disco, and to such an extent that I think this might just be one of the best edited films I've ever seen.

It's directed and shot amazingly too, everything in this looks so gross and in a state of disrepair, there's so many memorable looking moments, and it being filmed on 16mm film to make it look like crap actually helps with this feeling massively.

It helps because it makes it feel authentic, which is the key word here: everything about this feels so real. It was shot in an actual favela, it's somewhat based on a true story, the dialogue strikes me as incredibly realistic too, nearly all of the actors were actual residents of the City of God, and so on. And you'd never know that almost none of them were professional actors, every one of them is just that damn good.

But as for issues...unfortunately it comes down to the story. I don't think it's bad, it's just a little...been done before. I can't say I was ever particularly surprised by anything that happened, even if the characters do make it stand out a little more than it otherwise would...well, except for a few.

One of the Tender Trio in the beginning has a resolution so out of nowhere it's laughable, a certain young character has a twist towards the end that was also out of left field, but unfortunately I think the worst offender is Rocket, the main character.

He can disappear from the film for so long at a time that you start to forget he even is the main character, and he's frankly just boring. He barely does anything other than narrate, talk about how much he wants to be a photographer, and be horny, and on that note, his sort of relationship with Angelica never goes anywhere. You'd think the fact that she ends up getting together with another major character might lead to some tension between the three of them, but nope, he just has to stay exactly the same for the whole runtime.

So while that's unfortunate, I still have to admire a lot about this film, and you certainly could have chosen a much, much worse first film for me to look at critically, so thanks Mr. Lower. Hope you're still doing okay if you're reading this.