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Don't Look Up (2021)
9/10
A Totally Brilliant Warning
26 December 2021
This movie was simply exceptional and is an ingenious warning as to the folly of our current crisis with Democracy in the USA. It satirically nails on the head where we are and have been in the last 5 years. I cannot recommend this movie enough, in fact it should be mandatory viewing. Incredible acting and the A list celebs new what they were doing in supporting this movie. Its funny, emotional, terrifying and brutally truthful. God help us.
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1/10
I find it difficult to describe how bad this movie is.
26 April 2017
Warning: Spoilers
May contain spoilers - although I am unsure this movie can actually be spoiled any more than has been accomplished already by the Director and cast.

OK, I am going to admit to having made a huge error.

I am currently in Asia, and when I saw this movie advertised at the cinema, for some reason I thought this was the King Arthur movie being made by Guy Ritchie - a schoolboy error i know, but in my desperation to see a good movie I did not hesitate to get a ticket and get in to the cinema.

I sat through the movie in disbelief that my hero Mr Ritchie could be involved in anything so abysmal and only after an hour did I break the cardinal rule and get my phone out in the cinema and open my IMDb app and check. The utter relief when I realised my error was noticeable to those sat around me when I let out an audible "Thank God for that".

The acting is dreadful, the story is dreadful, the continuity and fight scenes are dreadful. The final scene where Arthur - King of the Britons is crowned and looks majestically at the crowd, scanning from left to right as If upon ten thousand people and when the camera pans back he is stood in front of about 12 people (including his old mates from the tavern) all stood on the edge of a pond (supposedly the abode of the lady of the lake).

I knew there was something wrong in the first few minutes when we saw Merlin who had had the costume department go to great lengths to make him the shorter double of Gandalf. I guess there are only so many looks for a wizard.

If you like sitting through appalling movies then this is one for you, otherwise avoid like the plague and do not make the same mistake as me. Mr Ritchie, I apologise for not realising in the first 30 seconds this was nothing to do with you!
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9/10
Great Movie - What is wrong with many of you!
16 July 2016
Warning: Spoilers
May contain spoilers.

I cannot understand the massive negative criticism that this movie is getting. It points to a huge conspiracy plot in the movie industry. This movie was a REMAKE. What do you all expect. The story is going to be similar/the same, only this time the CGI was a thousand times better and they used a team of girls instead of men. I read a comment saying this was a man hating movie - such nonsense only displays that the person who made those comments has some serious insecurity issues.

I sat in an Imax with the kids thinking 'the reviews are horrendous, what have I let myself in for'. As a result of the bad press there were only 8 people in the entire Imax for the showing (including my family of four). What followed was great great fun. It was funny. Even the team of women played their characters so well you could see who they 'were' in terms of the original movie. The male receptionist 'Kevin' WAS the exact male equivalent of the original airhead. My 6 year old who is a great fan of the original LOVED it, so much so that after finishing this review I have been persuaded by the two kids to take them back for a second showing today.

There were huge nostalgic parts to the movie with cameo appearances for all but one of the original cast. Stop trying to compare the movie to the original and saying "it was too similar"it was a remake for Gods sake. The four leading ladies worked, the male airhead receptionist worked and made it all the more funny. There was a huge sense of internal satisfaction when once again we see the original disused fire station that we all became attached to so long ago, and the converted hearse. Big smiles from all when we got a glimpse of the stay puff marshmallow man!

Lighten up everyone, take the kids and if you have no kids what the hell are you doing going to watch it and criticising it for anyway. It's a kids movie. My kids gave it a 10/10 but for my adult input I can't go that high so will stick at 9/10. Off to the second viewing now, the kids can't wait.
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2/10
Do not waste your time - seriously!
3 June 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Contains Spoilers!

I was keen to watch this movie. I like Mark Strong, but boy oh boy this was a true waste of my time. I can only imagine the budget was in the order of a few hundred thousand dollars.

This was not a tale about greatness or rising to an unimaginable challenge, it was a tale of failure and allowing yourself to be beat. An entire mission is dependent on a machine to work that has been designed and built from scratch by our hero. Sent off into the cosmos on his own, with someone following close behind - on their own, most of the movie takes place in a 4x5m area of the space ship. Some shots of the area of space he was travelling through on the way to Mars were through various nebulae and other amazing star cluster formations, but needless to say non of that exists within at least 10- 20 light years of Earth and certainly not in our solar system between Earth and Mars.

When the machine stops working the man who has thought it up, designed it, built it the Hero cannot get it working again and resigns himself to a depressing bout of failure, which he never gets out of. Despite all the promises of what might be the two minutes at the end of the landing and walking on Mars appear to have been thrown in as a last minute after thought.

I do not have time to write many reviews but this was so bad I was compelled to put fingers to keyboard. Save your time and money watch 'The Martian' instead.
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Battleship (2012)
1/10
I am compelled to write a minimum of 10 lines so you avoid this movie.
27 April 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I have written very few reviews on IMDb, I simply do not have the time, but on this occasion things are different. This movie could have been so good, yet it is truly awful.

I am a total advocate of having fun at movies and suspending belief but in this movie, even attempting to do that is interrupted by shocking characters with shocking lines. If people reacted in real life like many of these do in the movie, you could be forgiven for shooting them on sight.

The main character played by Taylor Kitsch is so annoying, so arrogant, so stupid so utterly imbecilic that for him to be allowed in uniform would be a slur on a nations entire armed forces. He seems to have adopted a role trying to emulate bad boy comes good Chris Pine as Kirk in the 2009 excellent movie Star Trek. But it doesn't work and he displays himself as a complete and utter loser in every respect, and frankly the screen writers should not work again.

Every cliché possible is thrown in, trying to make what is termed 'an extinction event' funny. As aliens battle to use an earth array radar to communicate with their planet and bring on the destruction of the planet, the geek in charge of the array who knows everything about it says 'what! are they trying to phone home like ET'??? Shoot that man!

I am saddened that Liam Neeson's bank balance is so low that he needed to take on his role in this movie. If he was that short of cash, had he just put an ad on IMDb I am sure we would have all chipped in $5 each to keep him out of this disaster.

The boys and girls in the CG room did an awesome job, but it was so unoriginal with all the trappings of Transformers that whilst technically superb it was just all pointless. Just where have they spent $200 000 000 ? It must all be in CG or was it the fee for Rihanna? Whatever, the budget for this movie would have been better spent on saving some third world country from economic disaster.

At the end it becomes clear that whoever the military adviser was, whatever their sins during the main part of the movie, should definitely have been sacked and not paid. Our main character the man who has led a team of misfits to save the entire planet is awarded ...the 'Silver Star', the third highest award the military can give. Where was the medal of honour? the top banana, they must have been limited as only one was given to our main mans dead brother, who did nothing other than stand on the bridge of a ship and get blown up (apart from also putting up with his cretin brother for which he definitely deserved the award).

In summary, totally disappointing. To base a movie on the Hasbro game of Battleships was always going to be a challenge, are we now going to face movies based on snakes and ladders and 'frustration'? Too many agendas were hidden in this movie to ensure a politically correct Hollywood ra ra ra conclusion. There were many points in the movie where I totally wanted the Aliens to succeed and destroy the planet, as it's occupants were proving that there was no intelligent life here. If you are dragged along to this movie then maybe just put your iphone on silent and play angry birds or some other garbage game to keep yourself entertained, or better still play Battleships.
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9/10
Totally Fantastic. Every boy's dreams of being a Knight and every girl a Princess
25 September 2010
I think those that get hung up on the historical accuracy of this movie are really missing out on the fun things in life.

This movie is outstanding in almost every respect. The friendship of the main characters is that of dreams, and the romantic relationship of Sir Ulrick and his Lady is the stuff of fairy tales.

I thought it inspiring that the music in the film was chosen and the mix between old and knew worked completely.

it is only when watching this movie again it becomes clear of the talent that was lost in ledger.

The movie is funny,lighthearted,modern and old and if I could go back in a time machine and imagine reliving these days it would be exactly as shown in this movie. If the history is wrong and out of sync then go and watch a documentary. If you want the modern version of the most epic Sunday afternoon films from 30 years ago, then this movie beats them all hands down. A smile from beginning to end.
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Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007 Video)
1/10
This was really bad!
30 March 2008
Possibly The worst movie I have ever seen. I registered to comment on this as it was so truly bad! Do not pay to watch this movie! I found that the plot was zero the acting was zero! Am I making my self clear? It was simply a movie full off gore which had no plot to it whatsoever? Right from the start it was clear that it was going to be bad! If you love this movie then you love the wrong things! It was not realistic and it had no depth to it.

This is a C class movie that i really wish i had never watched!

and for the rest of the ten lines then all i have is

It was so bad!
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