jodylax Reviews

The Master (2012)

Boring Mess. Save Your Time and Money

[1/10 · 25 September 2012]

I spent the whole movie waiting for it to either start or end. It did neither. The Master has to be the worst movie of the year! I went wanting to like it. It was 2 1/2 hours of excruciating, pointless boredom. People were actually walking out of the theater. I think the ones who didn't walk out had fallen asleep. I have a piece of advice for Mr. Anderson; The next time you make a movie, try having a PLOT! This wretched pile of dog poop made me wish I had never found a parking space outside the theater. A Honey Boo Boo marathon is more engaging and has people in it you care about more than those in The Master. Judging from the self-absorbed media insider's reviews of this mess, I'm sure it will sweep the Oscars.

Drive (I) (2011)

This Dog Really Barked

[1/10 · 27 November 2011]

It has to be a pretty rotten movie for me to walk out. Let's just say that DRIVE "drove" me to the exit doors before it was finished. I have a little advice for the producer and director; next time you decide to waste a lot of money making a movie, try making one with an actual PLOT and a script with actual dialogue. How many scenes are we expected to sit through that have no point? OK - He walks through a grocery store and the scene ends. He carries a bag of groceries to a neighbor's apartment, gets a drink of water and the scene ends. He goes for a drive at night and stops at a red light and the scene ends. He eats breakfast in a restaurant and threatens a supposed former crime partner for no apparent reason and the scene ends. This nonsense goes on for at least the first 49 minutes I was able to put up with it. I left when my popcorn ran out. This was a complete and total waste of time.

The Asphalt Jungle (1950)

Wow,

[9/10 · 9 March 2008]

I was lucky enough to see this movie on the big screen as a double feature with The Killing. This movie deserves a 10 based on the cinematography, let alone every other aspect that made this movie near great. I don't think I have ever seen a film that tosses the dirt and grime of a big city right off the screen and into your popcorn. Sterling Hayden has to be one of the most underrated actors of the genre. All modern directors should be required to watch this movie to understand that overdone music and sound effects (absent in this movie) hurt a production rather than help it. The police procedures shown on screen were right on target for the time and place. Now to the negatives. The one thing that really diminished this movie was the effects of the Hayes Commission which ruled that the bad guys couldn't get away with it as depicted in the movie. The doctor SHOULD have gotten away. That would have been a better ending.

The Hottie & the Nottie (2008)

I want my 90 minutes back

[1/10 · 15 February 2008]

Surveillance Vido of an Empty Parking Lot Is A More Entertaining Way to Spend 90 Minutes. 'Awful' is way too kind of a word for this piece of garbage. And to think, crew people actually had to get out of bed in the morning and waste gas driving to the studio to make this movie. A waste of time, money and effort. The only thing NOT wasted here was talent, since no talent was used in the making of this stinker. Is Paris so broke that she has to stoop this low to get some cash. Offering to water my lawn would garner Paris more respect in the public arena than what she did on screen here. I hope the studio didn't spend more than $50 on the script. If they paid more, they got ripped off.

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007)

Great Premise, Horrible Screenplay, Worse Movie

[1/10 · 24 November 2007]

If you like to see needless sex scenes, constant use of F**K every other sentence for no other reason than for it to be spoken, plot holes large enough to drive a truck through coupled with endless boredom - then this is the movie for you. The 1st scene should have been the tip off that it wasn't going to get any better, and it didn't. I squirmed in my seat the whole movie wishing it would be over. I haven't walked out on a movie in a long time and if I hadn't been with a group of friends, I would have split within the first 7 minutes. I now wish I had. Please don't waste your money on this train wreck. I honestly can't understand how Hollywood can consistently release turkeys like this movie. Why didn't one single person in a position of authority stand up and say, "I can't release this dog, I am embarrassed to have my name associated with this movie!" But as usual, we got suckered again by waste of time movies like this one.

Judge Maria Lopez (2006–2008)

Chain Smoking, Gin Soaked Old Hag Gets a Show

[1/10 · 25 September 2007]

When I first stumbled upon this show, I thought it was one of those poorly written and even worse acted skits from MAD TV. Oh how I was wrong. This crap is a real show! Maria Lopez is nothing more than a cheap imitation of the 500 or so other court shows currently n the air. Are the minds that come up with this garbage on drugs, lazy or really that far out of touch with reality to think this show is fresh and original? I personally believe Maria Lopez is the long lost daughter of Leona Helmsley and Ceaser Romero. The fact that Maria Lopez was removed from the bench and nearly disbarred for her antics in real life speaks volumes about how ethically bankrupt this woman really is. Her "12-pack-a-day-of-unfiltered-Camel-cigarettes" voice, overuse of "cutesy" Spanish terms, reliance on cue cards, and possible intoxication on cheap gin only add to this train wreck. Sony should put this show out of its misery forthwith.

Nacho Libre (2006)

It is what it is

[7/10 · 4 February 2007]

Having grown up in Central Mexico during the 70's, the thing I found most amazing about this movie is how it captured the FLAVOR of Mexico during those years. I'm no fan of Jack Black and I refused to see the movie because I thought he was miscast as a Mexican and it would be a mean movie. It was rainy Sunday and I relented and took the kids to the $1 movies to see Nacho Libre. I was pleasantly surprised. I recommend this movie highly, especially for children. It also allowed my children to see a glimpse of my childhood experiences, not the orphanages, but of going to see Lucha Libre (Wrestling)- back when professional wrestling was real, not the fake stuff they have now.

The Gong Show (1976–1980)

A classy no class show

[10/10 · 3 December 2006]

People may not realize it, but you really DID have to audition to get on the show. No Talet Bums would be lined up around the block waiting for their chance to try to get on the show. An episode of Sanford and Son and Carol Burnett were framed around getting on the Gong Show. How can you not pee your pants laughing when every singe act sang "Feelings". The $516.32 was the union scale and everyone got it, regardless if they got gonged or not, and yes they still get residuals to this day! Gene Gene the Dancing Machine (Gene Patton) was a stage hand who was sent out one day to dance and it took off. The house band, Miton DeLugg and his Band with a Thug were real people. And of course, Chuck seemed the most surprised when a bad act got gonged while being booed by the audience, "I can't believe they did that, you were doing so good" was classy in a classless show. Its too bad they couldn't keep their drug use under control, it really could have gone on a lot longer than it did!