3/10
Almost as poisonous as a real Gila Monster
5 November 2003
Terribly made, pointless, ultra-cheap '50s monster movie that tries to cash in on the hot rod/monster/rock n' roll genre and fails miserably. The gila "monster" is a normal-sized animal plopped down on miniature sets (that, like everything else in this picture, are tenth-rate) which slithers around trying to figure out where it is (and what the hell it's doing in this awful movie). The acting is sub-grammar-school level; veteran stuntman Fred Graham as the sheriff is one of only two professional actors in the cast and he can't do much with the stilted, senseless dialog he's forced to recite. "Star" Don Sullivan has absolutely no screen presence whatsoever; he's apparently going for the Robert Mitchum "sleepy eyed" look, but manages to seem more like he just woke up. Even more irritating, he warbles (badly) two of the most insipid, brainless "rock" songs ever written. One is called "And the Lord Said Laugh, Children, Laugh", which consists mostly of that particular phrase repeated for three solid minutes, and the other one has lines like "my baby rocks me when she rocks and rolls me when she rolls", whatever the hell that means.

In any case, the movie is an exercise in boredom. It fails as a teenage rock movie (the music's awful), it fails as a teenage monster movie (there's no "monster", just an over-sized lizard on an undersized set), it fails as a teenage J.D. movie (all the teenagers are sickeningly clean-cut, freshly scrubbed and law-abiding), it fails at everything it tries to be. Good for an unintentional laugh or two, but that's about it.
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