1/10
The Killer Snooze
13 December 2002
From the makers of "The Giant Gila Monster" comes this incredibly dull, pointless movie, filmed in rich grey and grey and starring James "Death Mask" Best, best known (and rightly so) as Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltraine on "The Dukes of Hazzard". In several small but pivital rolls are dogs with odd bits of fur stapled to them, playing the titular Killer Shrews.

Boy, this movie eats it. First the black guy gets chased up a tree and eaten. No one notices. Then the Mexican guy gets chomped on and dies in the basement. No one cares. Eventually, towards the end of the film, the Caucasian characters start to get it. The only way to tell the characters apart is from their differing degrees of loathsomeness. Oh, and one of them wears glasses.

All these people do is stand around in their depressing adobe hut and drink and drink and drink and drink. Eventually they weld some barrels together to make a goofy-looking tank to evade The Killer Dogs With Bathmats On Them. It's a trip of only a few yards, yet they have to stop to rest frequently. Why? All they did was drink!

The movie ends with Roscoe P. Coltraine threatening to impregnate a Swedish woman while her German father looks on. Fun!
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