Review of Airborne

Airborne (1993)
3/10
Airborne: The movie that was written backwards.
12 September 2000
* So the writer decided he wanted a movie whose climax was rollerblading scene down the hills of Cincinatti.

* To make it interesting he makes it a race between two teams. Needing a team we can root against, he makes the antagonists "preppies" (since everyone hates preppies and he could skip writing any character development for them besides their group label.

* Realizing that he couldn't write enough script to say why he and his teammates hate the preppies, he decided that before our hero and pals teamed up, they were enemies.

* In figuring out why our hero and his enemies team up against the preppies, the writer decided "shorts"ing a preppie would suffice.

* To decide why our hero and his teammates were enemies, the writer thinks that our hero should a laid back surfer dude.

* Looking over his story outline, the writer noticed how thin it was and added several elements to plump up the script. Such items included a wacky friend (Seth Green, who takes a character you'd normally want to punch and makes him watchable), a Pauly Shore and Juliet romance with the sister of one of his enemies, and random acts of roller-hockey (specifically the kind where you're not allowed to play defense).

The writer had the right idea about ending a movie with wicked rollerblade race down steep curvy hills, but the plot devices used to get that point are so awful, that you'll need to wear your cringe-proof vest to watch.
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