1/10
If only they had the money ....
9 October 2000
How many times have you watched an overblown, overproduced studio production like Coppola's "Dracula" and thought to yourself "I could make a better movie than that in my basement with my friends"?

Well, the makers of this film thought the same thing. They took a few grand and make a homemade video.

In all honesty, the film does have one strength. It has a good script. It's basically an r-rated version of a "Night Stalker" episode. (The main reporter character is even named McGavin). The plot is coherent, some of the characters are interesting, and there are some very funny lines.

Example:

High priestess: "Do you take Satan to be your lawful spouse, in richer and even richer ..... etc"

Bound and gagged victim: (makes fearful struggling noises).

High priestess: "I'll take that as a yes"

Satan himself is also funny, the ultimate achievement-oriented corporate guy, kind of similar to the Christian Bale role in American Psycho. And the Kolchak-like reporter has some pretty good wisecracks.

Real movie companies, with real budgets, have filmed worse scripts than this. Much worse.

But then there's the matter of the execution. The lighting is funky and too dark. The fight scenes involve people falling off-camera. The special effects consist of people leaning backward.

The acting is, well ....

Let's just say this is your movie if you go to porno films because you love the acting, but you actually hate porn. Most of the lines are delivered with the same flat monotone that you'd expect from local furniture store owners reading their own TV commercials off cue cards.

Oh, well. The script is still OK for a few laughs, and could be pretty good if professionals delivered the lines.
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