"Sunset Beach" must be the ultimate wet dream for every television network. To succeed in making a really cheap show by using repetitive storylines with the same things happening and the same lines being said over and over again, low production value and a chimp directing for a banana and fresh oranges. Yet at the same time won't let go of the viewers once they start watching the damn thing. It's scary, almost as if I've been hypnotized. I just have to see the next episode. Even though I am fully aware that nothing new will happen in the next episode. In fact, you won't miss anything by watching only one episode a week. But that's impossible. You must watch every single one of them. Somewhere in the back of your head there is a voice softly whispering: "Watch tomorrow's episode, something will happen... Watch tomorrow's episode, something will happen... Watch tomorrow's episode, something will happen..."
I mean, the show is sooooooooo slow. The timeline, like most soaps, is all hacked up. Sometimes it takes ages for two people to finish a single discussion which in normal life would take five minutes, while somewhere else in Sunset Beach their friends go through things that would normally take days. And all of these things are supposed to take place simultaneously? How does that work? It must be hell starting conversation on a Monday in Sunset Beach when you know you won't be able to finish it until next Thursday. Forget any form of social life. When you're busy talking to your husband for two weeks whether or not his ex-wife (who is supposed to be dead but got away with amnesia, a wet-look and a serious case of over-acting) should move in, you miss out on a lot of things. Like Sean Richards trying to be a gangsta rapper. Yeah, I bet mister Son Of A Wealthy Lawyer Who Has Never Experienced One Day Of Hard Labour In His Life knows what that's all about. "My daddy is a meany! He won't give me a new car, so I'm gonna hold my breath till my face turns as blue as a smurf and I die!!! By the way, make it a Pontiac this time. Okay, here I go (cue sound of spoiled brat inhaling)".
And most of the actors have played out their parts a long time ago and are no longer of any use, but they stick around anyway for some reason. Take Annie for example. Hasn't she been doing her scheming and plotting routine one or two times too many? And Ricardo, what kind of police officer is he? Is he the only cop in California or something? It wouldn't hurt the writers took their time to visit a police station to see what it's like. And then there's Doctor Estrada. I have no idea where she found her degree, but it wasn't in medical school, I can tell you that.
We also have Meg and Caitlin who don't have anything to do anymore. All they do is cry and whine and weep about their husbands. Olivia seems as though she cannot quite decide whether or not she should speak British or American English, so what we get is some half-assed efford somewhere in between. Same thing with Mrs. Torres. Sometimes her English is fluent, sometimes she has a Spanish accent. Make up your mind!
Aunt Bette is annoying, Emily is just as annoying (wonder where she gets it from?), Fransesca is just a pair of huge eyes, Sean only has one facial expression, Ben doesn't do more than wrinkle his eyebrows and look puzzled, Gregory wrinkles only one eyebrow before following it up with the puzzled look, Leo has no function whatsoever, Amy has five lines max and she doesn't hesitate when it comes to constant repetition of those five lines, and finally Cole, who has dimples. And what's up with that dog in the opening credits? What the hell is that doing there?
But I still can't help it. I must know what will happen in tomorrow's episode. Darn you CBS!!!
I mean, the show is sooooooooo slow. The timeline, like most soaps, is all hacked up. Sometimes it takes ages for two people to finish a single discussion which in normal life would take five minutes, while somewhere else in Sunset Beach their friends go through things that would normally take days. And all of these things are supposed to take place simultaneously? How does that work? It must be hell starting conversation on a Monday in Sunset Beach when you know you won't be able to finish it until next Thursday. Forget any form of social life. When you're busy talking to your husband for two weeks whether or not his ex-wife (who is supposed to be dead but got away with amnesia, a wet-look and a serious case of over-acting) should move in, you miss out on a lot of things. Like Sean Richards trying to be a gangsta rapper. Yeah, I bet mister Son Of A Wealthy Lawyer Who Has Never Experienced One Day Of Hard Labour In His Life knows what that's all about. "My daddy is a meany! He won't give me a new car, so I'm gonna hold my breath till my face turns as blue as a smurf and I die!!! By the way, make it a Pontiac this time. Okay, here I go (cue sound of spoiled brat inhaling)".
And most of the actors have played out their parts a long time ago and are no longer of any use, but they stick around anyway for some reason. Take Annie for example. Hasn't she been doing her scheming and plotting routine one or two times too many? And Ricardo, what kind of police officer is he? Is he the only cop in California or something? It wouldn't hurt the writers took their time to visit a police station to see what it's like. And then there's Doctor Estrada. I have no idea where she found her degree, but it wasn't in medical school, I can tell you that.
We also have Meg and Caitlin who don't have anything to do anymore. All they do is cry and whine and weep about their husbands. Olivia seems as though she cannot quite decide whether or not she should speak British or American English, so what we get is some half-assed efford somewhere in between. Same thing with Mrs. Torres. Sometimes her English is fluent, sometimes she has a Spanish accent. Make up your mind!
Aunt Bette is annoying, Emily is just as annoying (wonder where she gets it from?), Fransesca is just a pair of huge eyes, Sean only has one facial expression, Ben doesn't do more than wrinkle his eyebrows and look puzzled, Gregory wrinkles only one eyebrow before following it up with the puzzled look, Leo has no function whatsoever, Amy has five lines max and she doesn't hesitate when it comes to constant repetition of those five lines, and finally Cole, who has dimples. And what's up with that dog in the opening credits? What the hell is that doing there?
But I still can't help it. I must know what will happen in tomorrow's episode. Darn you CBS!!!